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Breweries and pub product marketing managers celebrate St Plastics Day 3
ronseal 17.03.12 9:34am
Clooney's cellmate "Seen allovum fillums twaace" 0
Drylaw 17.03.12 9:26am
British management consultants best at 'grey sky thinking' claims CBI. 0
MADJEZ 17.03.12 9:20am
Entertainment Communications Supervisor in prosthetic ear row

A Crowd Control Supervisor at a nightclub in Leeds has been suspended from duty until further notice after regulars queuing at the city centre night spot complained that one of the man’s...

Earl Van Dyke 17.03.12 8:29am
Earl Van Dyke
Ladies: Top anti-wrinkle product is pies. "Stuff your face at your own pace"

more later...

dvo4fun 17.03.12 5:01am
Oprah to host new show on assholes and the women who love them 0
Dumbnews 17.03.12 4:42am
Top cleric quits over moneygrabbing and calling parishioners 'muppets'. 0
deskpilot3 16.03.12 11:23pm
Neutrinos urine sample tests postive for banned substance 2
charlies_hat 16.03.12 11:19pm
British Public Braced For Tedious Over-Analysis of US/UK "Special Relationship"

As David Cameron's US visit draws to a close the British public are bracing themselves for the obligatory self-indulgent, embarrassingly tedious, over-analysis of the so-called "special relationship"...

UnoEye 16.03.12 11:07pm
Man does equivalent of the M25 around his supermarket aisles

A shopper who pushed his shopping trolley the entire distance of the M25 around the aisles of his local Tesco - sometimes in the wrong direction - is recovering in hospital. Albert Bunn (52), who...

roybland 16.03.12 10:42pm
Church "grows a set" in Archbishop appointment

Following the resignation of Rowan Williams to take up the post of headmaster at Hogwarts, the actor and adventurer Brian Blessed has been appointed as the next Archbishop of Canterbury. The...

medici2471 16.03.12 10:37pm
HS2 to be scrapped in favour of enormous flume

Transport Minister Justine Greening today announced that The Government was scrapping the proposed HS2 rail link between The Midlands and London, in favour of the H2O - a massive "hydro-grav...

grumblechops 16.03.12 9:13pm
Cricketer scores runs playing cricket – world amazed!

India's Sachin Tendulkar has become the first player to score some runs since the last one and all in a game that meant a defeat against Bangladesh in Dhaka. The very well known and famous cricketer...

hardev 16.03.12 8:58pm
Bishop makes suprise sideways move 5
charlies_hat 16.03.12 8:19pm
George Clooney arrested on handsomeness charges

The actor, director and activist George Clooney was arrested today outside the Sudanese Embassy on charges of aggravated male beauty. Clooney, 49 was, say police, demonstrating his attractiveness in...

nickb 16.03.12 6:42pm
Absolutely crap Archbishop reborn as brilliant ex-Archbishop 0
roybland 16.03.12 6:21pm
"PAEDO" gets attention

Research by the tabloid press has shown that articles liberally sprinkled with the word "PAEDO" in capitals immediately draw the eye, hence the regular use of such attention grabbing gimmicks. Not...

ianrbland 16.03.12 6:01pm
Rowan Williams resigns as Archbishop to spend more time as Mr Bean

Rowan Williams has announced he is resigning as archbishop of Canterbury to spend more time working on his popular comedy creation "Mr Bean". "It's been difficult to avoid the temptation of pulling...

apepper 16.03.12 5:37pm
Archbishop of Canterbury: wearing a cross does not offend non-Christians

as it makes conversation with Christians a lot easier to avoid...

John Ffitch-Rucker 16.03.12 5:05pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
U-Turn on Big Ben charges causes chaos on stairs.

no more to follow...

weematt 16.03.12 5:02pm
Clooney 2012 campaign launched by Sudanese Govt 0
simonjmr 16.03.12 4:51pm
Shock! fat Jean found in McDonalds. 0
wilkieone 16.03.12 4:35pm
Stars visible in night sky

for the first itme in thousands of years, stars never seen before will now be visible to the naked eye in our skies over the next few nights. USA, Nasa and the Uk have reached a joint agreement to...

wilkieone 16.03.12 4:32pm
Search engine 'BURGLE' launched

NedWeb, a web consultancy engaged by the Home Office to develop software that allows victims of crime to meet and confront the criminals who victimised them, has launched a new search engine called...

weematt 16.03.12 3:30pm
US/UK "special relationship" soured over regifting error

White House sources last night revealed that the table tennis table which UK Prime Minister David Cameron had given as an official gift to US President Barack Obama had been found to be still...

Nails UK 16.03.12 3:27pm
Nails UK
Terry Pratchett "can't remember if he supports euthanasia any more" 0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:19pm
Nails UK
World’s fattest man collapses and forms black hole

Keith Martin, at 58 stone (369 kg) the world’s heaviest man, collapsed yesterday in his bedroom forming a small black hole. One of his carers, Carmen Furbita, described how the tragedy unfolded....

Nails UK 16.03.12 3:16pm
Nails UK
'Same sock' marriages will cure odd sock problems, scientists claim. 1
Not Amused 16.03.12 3:14pm
Not Amused
Eastenders measles jab storyline causes rash of complaints 0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:14pm
Nails UK
New earth-like planet discovered at car boot sale 2
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:10pm
Nails UK