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CERN to tackle Duckworth-Lewis next

Success in finding the Higgs boson (Hb), the elementary thingummybob predicted by many household-name particle physicists, seems close at hand. With this in mind, boffins behind the £5 Billion CERN...

5
dvo4fun 28.11.11 7:07pm
Perks
Gazza arrives in Darlington to offer rampaging cow lager and a fishing trip 0
kga6 28.11.11 6:43pm
kga6
Chinese takeaway sues Bakers for use of trademark 'doggylicious' descriptor 0
kga6 28.11.11 6:35pm
kga6
CERN comes under scrutiny as Dr Evil is listed under leading project sponsors 0
Immunis 28.11.11 5:56pm
Immunis
Pudsey Bear to lose other eye as BBC cutbacks bite

A bit late, but I'm clearing out some headlines that I have written nothing for...

0
Immunis 28.11.11 5:56pm
Immunis
Rise in White Collar Crime causes Drop in Tie Sales 0
Immunis 28.11.11 5:54pm
Immunis
tourism of Zimbabwe up 400 percent

more soon. More, MORE!...

2
Screenie 28.11.11 5:51pm
Immunis
Rick Perry forgets which country he wants to be President of

In an embarrassing slip up during a televised primary debate, Rick Perry, Governor of Texas and hopeful for the Republican 2012 presidential nomination, yesterday temporarily forgot the name of the...

0
Long Distance Clara 28.11.11 5:29pm
Long Distance Clara
NHS increase number of weekend morticians to handle demand

The NHS has responded decisively to reports that more people die at weekends. "We're increasing the number of mortician workers. Now people can die whenever they like."...

0
apepper 28.11.11 5:12pm
apepper
Major drama production seeks volunteers with no drama 0
Dumbnews 28.11.11 4:25pm
Dumbnews
Richard Branson decides against future round the world balloon attempts...

after remembering he owns an airline...

1
Smart Alex 28.11.11 3:53pm
greg various
Michael Gove to fix education with magic beans

Secretary of state for education Michael Gove has announced his intention to cure the social ills affecting so many state schools with £37,000 worth of magic beans. "We didn't quite get as much...

0
Shandy 28.11.11 3:03pm
Shandy
Meek 'unsure what to do next' after inheriting the Earth

Nearly two thousand years after it was originally prophesied during the Sermon on the Mount, the Meek have finally inherited the Earth. Speculation has now been growing about what they will do with...

3
Oxbridge 28.11.11 2:36pm
Oxbridge
Memorandum confirms ad hoc teaching of code to replace Latin on school syllabus 0
charlies_hat 28.11.11 1:59pm
charlies_hat
Bjork to star in live action film of Crystal Tipps & Alistair...

It has been revealed that that Icelandic pop singer Bjork has been successful in her bid to land the lead role of Crystal in the forthcoming live action version of Crystal Tipps and Alistair. Having...

0
victimms 28.11.11 1:56pm
victimms
Christmas to Become 365-Day Festival

The government today announced plans to make Christmas a 365-day event, so spreading the peak retail sector activity over the remaining six months of the year. "We already have Harrods and...

3
Chuts 28.11.11 1:41pm
Chuts
Health and Safety rules cannot be axed due to lack of axe handling certification 0
charlies_hat 28.11.11 1:22pm
charlies_hat
New legal high ‘Pepper Spray’ hospitalises protesters.

A new legal high called pepper spray or ‘PEP’ is being sold on the internet as an alternative to illegal drugs, such as cocaine, mephedrone and napalm. The drug is a lachrymatory agent (a...

2
TheTomStrange 28.11.11 1:13pm
dvo4fun
Elderly patients stage bed-in in support of NHS staff... 0
victimms 28.11.11 12:50pm
victimms
DSK still puzzled by what he did with his Blackberry. 0
Griffin 28.11.11 11:14am
Griffin
.

move along please, nothing to see here...

2
dvo4fun 28.11.11 10:06am
Chuts
Drugs/City Trading Squad to 'crack down' on cocaine derivatives

more heavily contrived stuff later...

0
dvo4fun 28.11.11 7:43am
dvo4fun
RSPCA horrified as NASA launches Rover to Mars. 3
JETFAB 28.11.11 7:31am
dvo4fun
83rd call for "Price Check!" get till girl sacked from Poundland. 2
deskpilot3 28.11.11 7:30am
dvo4fun
Virgin Atlantic faces competition from new kid on the block Old Slapper Atlantic 0
Smart Alex 28.11.11 1:46am
Smart Alex
Bladder control "no longer hip" claims ad for Apple / Twitter app I-Peed 0
Username 27.11.11 11:03pm
Username
'Gaydar' accidentally given US spelling in OED, despite careful poofreading. 0
Username 27.11.11 10:53pm
Username
Tomorrow's phonecalls "already hacked" admits News of the Next World. 4
Username 27.11.11 10:08pm
Username
Derek Acora convicted over News of the Next World hacking scandal

More to follow...

1
reforse 27.11.11 10:06pm
reforse
UK journalists miss 98% of all deadlines because of 'appalling' time management

More or less soon...

0
Username 27.11.11 9:57pm
Username