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President Assad had fingers crossed behind his back when announcing ceasefire

Reports suggest....

Sheepback 26.10.12 12:27pm
Warning for Owen Paterson as badger crisis deepens

Members of the Badger Liberation Front warned of severe repercussions if Owen Paterson continues with his ethnic cleansing in the Badgers Democratic Republic of Gloucestershire. Speaking in a...

Sheepback 26.10.12 11:52am
John Terry to front 'Kick Slogan T Shirts Out of Football' Campaign 0
custard cream 26.10.12 11:46am
custard cream
Frankel's online virginity offer goes viral 0
26.10.12 11:13am
Brazilian woman sells virginity on-line to sushi lover 0
philthefunk 26.10.12 10:05am
Future Homes Commission Promotes Virtual Houses

Britain’s housing crisis could be solved if residents could be persuaded to live in 'virtual homes' according to The Royal Institute of British Architects Future Homes Commission (FHC). "We all...

custard cream 26.10.12 9:49am
custard cream
NHS IVF service to offer “Free-range eggs”

The NHS announced today that it was to trial a premium IVF service which guarantees better quality, and more responsibly sourced, eggs. Egg donors are to be screened prior to donation, and for their...

Nails UK 26.10.12 9:44am
Ann Widdicombe confirms that 'Jim didn't fix it for me for some reason' 0
philthefunk 26.10.12 9:40am
Cutbacks to Greenwich clock funding make pips 'squeak' 0
pinxit 26.10.12 9:34am
Nick Griffin backs racism t-shirt campaign

Following on from the ineffective ‘Kick Racism Out Of Football’ t-shirt campaign, BNP leader Nick Griffin is to launch a t-shirt campaign of his own, it emerged today. Insider sources, who did...

Reg Herring 26.10.12 9:22am
Reg Herring
Teaching standards leaving students unprepared for new teacher trainee tests 1
charlies_hat 26.10.12 9:21am
custard cream
Teacher Training Tests Toughened for alliterate teaching students 0
charlies_hat 26.10.12 9:17am
Football supporters to form breakaway 'Black Supporters Association' 0
custard cream 26.10.12 9:12am
custard cream
Russell Grant predicted to replace head of Italian Serious Risks Commission. 3
weematt 26.10.12 9:11am
Premiership stars boycott anti-homophobia campaign

Football was thrown into controversy yet again when all but five players in the Premiership refused to wear Football Association 'Nutmeg Homophobia Out Of The Game' T-shirts during warm-ups,...

pinxit 26.10.12 9:02am
ITV, HM Government, and ECHR agree on prisoners being given the vote in X Factor 0
Not Amused 26.10.12 9:00am
Not Amused
Ambivalent Marmite tweeter causes stocks to fall

Marmite’s manufacturers are said to be ‘extremely anxious’ to track down the person who said on Twitter that he was entirely ambivalent about their yeast extract spread. Since the...

Stan 26.10.12 8:28am
Savile shafted me too, says Louis Theroux 0
ronseal 26.10.12 8:26am
Jason Roberts would 'offer to shake John Terry's neck' in new pitch welcome 0
custard cream 26.10.12 8:25am
custard cream
Italian League : Seismologists 1, Horologists 0 0
Cinders 26.10.12 7:53am
Cheers! Osborne orders a gottle o geer over economic good news

Ventriloquist dummy lookalike George Osborne was jubilant today as the economy stopped going down the pan quite so fast and hopes his family’s experience in the wallpaper business will be...

Reg Herring 26.10.12 6:42am
Reg Herring
Trading Standards warn "It's not just dodgy car dealers putting the clocks back"

while sales soar for Black & Decker drills with the special attachment...

DorsetBoy 26.10.12 6:27am
Eastenders actress runs out of fags

Chain-smoking Eastenders character Dot Branning says she is ready to return to the long running soap after finally running out of fags., Back in February Branning had told executive producer...

Uncle Bertie 26.10.12 6:01am
City traders warn of ‘Jehad-Virgin’ shortage

Commodity brokers are concerned that the world’s stock of suitable martyr virgins is being used unsustainably. “Every business has to deal with the challenges of the market and the...

dvo4fun 26.10.12 6:00am
Riot police mobilised as protestors call for nationalisation of accountants

Riot police were deployed on the streets of London as the so-called 'Accountancy Riots' entered their third day. A group of protestors- thought to include the poor- converged on the pavement outside...

grumblechops 26.10.12 2:33am
Ford workers spend whole day at pub "toasting UK's return to growth" 0
grumblechops 25.10.12 10:57pm
Italian seismologists blamed for decades of knee tremblings in Shepherds Bush 3
Dick Everyman 25.10.12 10:54pm
O-taeN 0
Iscariot 25.10.12 8:46pm
Jimmy Savile to star in remake of "300"

Iscariot 25.10.12 8:38pm
Incontinent dyslexic launches this year's Poopy Appeal 1
Nails UK 25.10.12 7:53pm