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Steve Jobs leaves Apple for smaller and worse things 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Power vacuum left by Steve Jobs may shorten iPhone battery life 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Better Exam Results Year-On-Year Spark Fears For McDonald's Future Recruitment 1
Duff 4 years

Hamburger chain, McDonald's, has come out today and expressed concerns over the year-on-year improvement in GCSE results. The fast food retailer is believed to be worried that teenagers, buoyed up...

Gove celebrates 70% GCSE A*-C grade pass rate. "9 out of 10 - jolly good show"" 0
dvo4fun 4 years

More remedial Maths later...

Student Devastated After Being Awarded A Grade ‘B’ 4
Solanki and Mawhinney 4 years

While pupils celebrated record-breaking GCSE results today Linda Chaplin was left shocked and disappointed after being awarded the first grade ‘B’ in nearly thirteen years. An inconsolable Ms....

Jacqui Smith attributes 'offender decoraters' decison to having the painters in. 2
dvo4fun 4 years

More soon ht everybody else My coat is by the door...

Record number of dirty old men watch pupils getting their GCSE results 2
whickerman 4 years

For the 30th year running record numbers of dirty old men decided to watch the news for a change on the morning of GCSE results. There are also signs of a Gender gap as once again very few dirty old...

Ikea denies Nazi ties on day Übermensch and Volkskrieg products launched 0
simonjmr 4 years
American troops hunt for Gadaffi, promise to find him by 2021. 1
MADJEZ 4 years
Equine carcass beater accused of flogging a dead horse. 0
spoole2112 4 years

More later...

Steve Jobs steps down to work on alarm clock with built-in radio and kettle 0
somethingsomethingnation 4 years

Steve Jobs stepped down as Apple CEO to work on a secret project that insiders have dubbed the “iWake”. The groundbreaking product is rumoured to be an alarm clock with built-in radio and...

Lack of Massive Amounts of Drugs in System contributed to Winehouse Death claim 0
thisisall1word 4 years

Lack of Massive Amounts of Drugs in System contributed to Winehouse Death claim Toxicologists...

News Corporation to provide voicemail alert SMS message service for Vodafone 0
grottymonty 4 years

Vodafone are pleased to announce that they have contracted out this service to a well loved and trusted information provider. The service will be enhanced as they will also text you if you have a...

donkey_walloppa 4 years

In scenes more commonly associated with a celebrity death or the break-up of a boy-band, fans, mourners, and competitors alike, gathered together today in a show of support following the shock...

Daring each other to drink stuff is more fun than real work say scientists 0
Mr_Johno 4 years

Research scientists working in a lab at Cambrdige University have discovered that daring each other to drink concoctions from test tubes is up to 10 times more entertaining than carrying out proper...

Mars offers Bounty Bar for Gaddafi's capture. 4
dvo4fun 4 years

More confection soon...

Furious Fergie Flummoxed By BBC's Decision To Subtitle Him 0
Duff 4 years

Sir Alex Ferguson has been left red-faced and fuming after deciding to end his self-imposed 7 year ban in speaking to BBC. The fiery Scot was told that the corporation will be happy to speak to him...

TV Weather Girl Kelly Dispenses Sound Career Advice 0
Drylaw 4 years

"Get a bump. It's a positive must if you want to go anywhere weather-wise," said top BBC TV weather reporter Kelly Breasley to a party of teenage girls touring BBC studios yesterday. "Whether it's...

Joan Collins breaks record for 45th consecutive year celebrating 33rd birthday 0
simonjmr 4 years
Moon Mapper Moore Slams Britain's "Pathetic Space Programme" 0
Duff 4 years

Pop-eyed astronomer, Sir Patrick Moore, has slammed Britain for not doing enough work, or spending enough resources on space travel and research. Addressing the symposium of sad nerds and geeks...

£1m Ghaddafi Lottery rollover as winning ticket goes unclaimed. 0
thackaray 4 years
Help! My iPad has stopped wor 1
Griffin 4 years
Bannister's mile record a fake says Oxford man in belted raincoat. 0
Drylaw 4 years
Park bench perverts decry poor British Summer for low tit numbers 0
simonjmr 4 years
'Price on Gadaffi's head' proves Jordan will do anything for publicity. 0
DrTurmoil 4 years

More soon. (KatieKatie Price? Jordan? On his head -- geddit?! Oh I give up.)...

Jacqui Smith to star in Confessions of a Reforming Prisoner 0
Erlang 4 years

hat tip to other writers...

Depardieu to front ad campaign for Apple's new iPee 0
spoole2112 4 years

Inspired by his own health problems Steve Jobs' latest technological masterpeiece was unveiled today. At first glance the iPee appears no more than a slim 2" x 3" rectangular block with no obvious...

daily mail to start campaign to end tuition fee discrimination 0
4ty2 4 years

trying to ensure that English students have to pay similar tuition fees in all other EU countries...

Tottenham to sue for Olympic stadium under human rights legislation 0
4ty2 4 years

Retaining the athletics track to train up the mob for running riot in London is also deemed an unnecessary demand...

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. 'Bollocks' says Jobs. 0
wallster 4 years