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Royal wedding: tea towels will be allowed but not toilet paper 1
Dun Dunkin 4 years

The Palace caved in to allowing Royal Wedding tea towels saying 'the common people like that sort of thing' but they firmly drew the line at Royal Wedding toilet paper and condoms...

Life imitating art syndrome leaves man at the Luncheon on the Grass for days 0
simonjmr 4 years

He finished the day in Tracey Emin's Bed. More soon...

BBC Oracle predicts bank bonuses to be great this year 0
4ty2 4 years

as they are safe. The cleggoroons will not cut them as it would be suicide. Whoever considers cutting them would be defacto throwing the moneylenders out of their temple. It has only been done once...

Joan Bakewell, on the consolations of growing old... 0
Doylem 4 years

“I was known, in my prime, as the 'thinking man’s crumpet', though I never really knew whether to be flattered or offended. Anyway the problem, if that’s what it was, has long been solved. I...

Channel 5 to launch porn versions of Emmerdale, EastEnders and Question Time 3
ronseal 4 years

New owner of Channel 5 Richard Desmond has angrily denied that he is taking the station downmarket and has pledged to produce his own programmes to rival anything that the BBC and ITV can put out...

Bullitt director's funeral to include hearse chase through San Francisco. 2
Mrblacker 4 years
Law of diminishing returns 'all but gone within five years', according to expert 0
victory V 4 years
Inspector Poirot endorses budget supermarket - "I use my Lidl grey cells". 0
victory V 4 years

Morse soon...

Budget supermarket launches newspaper - 'Aldi news that's fit to print'. 0
victory V 4 years
Bristol landlord coerced into having a silly hairstyle. 0
Tammy Flugh 4 years

More later...

tesco advert leaves UK shoppers confused 1
4ty2 4 years

Whilst a lot of consumers have to shop around more to make ends meet they are suspicious by the tactic of Tesco to advertise shopping with what is perceived to be another company. The slogan that...

UK press under fire about military style football comments 0
4ty2 4 years

to avoid armed conflict at the football WM in Moscow, following the US example of possible misunderstanding of such suggestions by the confused gun owners. Also one should not mention tea-parties or...

By popular demand, Pizza Hut launches "Day-old cold" pizza 0
Dumbnews 4 years
London Underground drivers to go on strike for the Royal Wedding. 2
Tammy Flugh 4 years

"We want to go to the pub and get totally pissed like the rest of the country", a spokesman said...

Bury girl shocked after realising offer to be taken up the aisle, not a proposal 2
simonjmr 4 years
Police co-erced to beat up protesters 3
Bismarck 4 years

by undercover student...

Nick Clegg welcomes ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy for Lib Dems 1
Ludicity 4 years

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has defended plans to introduce a policy of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ that would allow Liberal Democrats to serve in government while keeping their political...

Edinburgh takeaway to serve deep fried giant panda. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Pakistan cricket rocked by fresh bribery allegation 0
Mrblacker 4 years

A new investigation is being promised by cricket's governing body after fresh bribery allegations surfaced in Pakistan. A tabloid newspaper says it has video footage of the nation's former test...

Redknapp confirms that the two on-loan pandas from China will train with Spurs 0
SilverWinterSky 4 years

Edinburgh Zoo work placement resolves Beckham insurance concerns...

Aldi still "cheap but baffling”, say shoppers... 7
Doylem 4 years

British shoppers should be accustomed to shopping at Aldi by now, considering that it’s twenty years since the German company opened its first no-frills, bargain-basement store in the UK. Yet the...

Dewsbury cleric almost misses opportunity to take offence... 5
Doylem 4 years

Prominent Muslim cleric, Salman Ishtar, 64, of Dewsbury, was determined to be offended by a BBC2 documentary programme about the Koran. Unable to be offended at the time of transmission, due to a...

Dyslexic pervert tries to buy 10,000 premium blonds. 0
victory V 4 years

More swoon...

Indian labourer backpacks around Britain to find himself 5
Oxbridge 4 years

To his friends among the sub-caste of brick makers in the slums of Nagpur, Miranjit Khapur seemed to have it all: two sheets of corrugated iron on his ceiling, a job that enabled him to have half an...

Liverpool manager Dalglish sacked after no reversal of fortunes 0
fun and games 4 years

Kenny Dalglish has been sensationally sacked by Liverpool football club following a miserable run of form since he took over. Since taking up the reins at Anfield on Saturday the Reds have lost...

Cameron to relax employment laws - 0
Bismarck 4 years

Clegg worried...

protesters co-erced to poke Camilla with a stick 0
Bismarck 4 years

by undercover Royal...

In new spirit of openness, Chinese vice President changes name 0
Bismarck 4 years

to Lee Ker Ching...

Bullitt director dies at 81 (mph) 0
roybland 4 years
tea party on target for election 2
4ty2 4 years, ,