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Dentists invent device to cancel out the sound of Nicky Campbell 3
A Wagonload Of Monkeys 4 years

An invention which cancels out the noise of Nicky Campbell could help people overcome their fear of a dental check-up, researchers say., For many, the sound of Nicky Campbell is a big cause of...

Carpenter moaning about wooden golf equipment told to 'join the club'. 0
Trickster 4 years
Elephant-man lookalike competition, top 3 presented to media. 2
riesler 4 years

BAA invested in an extra wide shovel to counter winter chaos treat. 0
Stan 4 years

An initial inquiry into the apparent ‘slow reaction’ of Heathrow Airport to deal with last month’s snow has revealed that the ‘major investment in counter snow technology’ announced by BAA...

Time travel 'already commonplace' admits athlete and peer Lord Stephen Hawking 6
dicky37 4 years

Lord Stephen Hawking, the most accomplished sprinter Britain has ever produced, claimed last night that physicists have travelled backwards and forwards through the ages 'for some time'; altering the...

Matt Cardle targets Rihanna’s number one slot 3
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
US Republican Party announces new strategy: Kill Whoever Disagrees With Us 1
Grover 4 years

Following the commencement of the 112th Congress of the United States, newly-inaugurated Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner has announced a new Republican strategy for "taking back...

“‘Social notworking’ the bane of office life”, says work/life guru... 0
Doylem 4 years

“The internet is no friend of productivity”, says Simon Luckhurst, Professor of Online Procrastination Studies at the Institute of Work/Life Balance, Crewe. “A huge amount of time is wasted,...

Sarah Palin Condemns Poor Marksmanship of Arizona Shooter 0
Grover 4 years

"If you can't make a kill-shot, you shouldn't own a gun!" says idiot who hunts wolves from a helicopter...

Only politicians who can duck quickly should stand for Congress, says NRA. 1
Griffin 4 years
Etta James, Ira Gerswin, the last musicians named after terrorist organisations. 0
Doylem 4 years
Somalia Bans Mixed-Sex Handshakes.... 1
De-scribe 4 years

"Suppose a blow job's out of the question then?" asks tourist...

Bank manager's leg described as a 'bit of a loaner' 0
wallster 4 years

With sincere aplogies to Roybland for taking inspiration from his sub, and to everyone else for the quality of the pun...

Undercover Officer Wants to be on the Winning Side 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

Denying he has 'gone native' after being undercover for too long a policeman switched sides and said he was now 'with the climate collective'. He said he did it because he was 'thinking of the...

Man called 'a loner' is thinking of joining a club 1
roybland 4 years

John Wood (35) is so fed-up of being called 'a bit of a loner' by neighbours, he's thinking of joining a local club. 'Every time there's a murder or a bomb plot on our street,' Mr Wood said,...

Victoria Beckham doubles her brain cell count to 2 by getting pregnant 1
A Crooked MP 4 years
Tucson shooting ‘right-wing outrage’, G20 and student violence ‘understandable’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
David Beckham looking forward to arrival of his fourth syllable 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Dalglish expected to appoint his translator by the end of today 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
New Beckham foetus enjoys first raw carrot banquet 0
Gary Stanton 4 years

The unnamed foetus in the centre of Victoria Beckham’s womb was said to be delighted yesterday after the former girl band star ordered an extra carrot to accompany her side salad at an exclusive...

Ross Kemp at odds between Bristol and Arizona for the new "Most Dangerous" 0
simonjmr 4 years
Co-worker “not greatly missed”, admit staff... 4
Doylem 4 years

“When Jean died, we all assumed we would miss her”, said Clare, whose responsibilities include the stationery cupboard. “But once the funeral was over and done with, her desk was allocated to...

Nick Clegg attempts escape from coalition by sawing off own arm. 7
Milo Shame 4 years

Deputy Prime minster, Nick Clegg, has been discovered by Special Branch officers stumbling down the Mall and bleeding profusely from what medics are calling an ‘amateurish attempt to sever his left...

Democrats say Palin 'should stick to shooting her mouth off' 1
roybland 4 years
Man facing execution determined to “take positives” from the experience... 1
Doylem 4 years
Ladbrokes offering odds on baby Beckham’s name. 50-1: ‘Todger’... 0
Doylem 4 years
“David Beckham has been cloned”, admits Cameron... 0
Doylem 4 years

“It was a difficult decision, reluctantly taken”, said David Cameron. “Whenever we needed someone to address the nation, in a modest, slightly hesitant, content-free kind of way, that made...

Critics slam "The Social Network" for deviations from the Wikipedia story 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Pot accused of racism for calling kettle 'coloured'. 0
Trickster 4 years

A pot was today accused of racism and barred from the International Cooking Equipment Community for calling the kettle 'coloured'. "The fact is, it IS is a coloured kettle, painted all the colours of...

cameron demands banks to pay smaller bonuses 0
4ty2 4 years

as splitting up the payments into smaller installments will be easier to sell to the public by only mentioning one of them when releasing the bonus figures. To get the whole lump in one makes bankers...