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Peter Crouch frustrated by England goalscoring role 0
MC One R 3 years

"By coming on as a substitute and scoring, I'm painting an inaccurate of myself as a goal machine" he said, "It's not want I want to be remembered for. I always dreamt of being the plank of wood...

h 23
arrghgarry 3 years
No 10... 0
Emlyn 3 years

No 10 replaces photographer with PhotoMe machine in interest of transparency...

Pimp fires one trick Pony 4
arrghgarry 3 years
New Renault Leaf delayed in UK due to wrong kind of electricity. More soon. 2
MC One R 3 years
Jason Manford finally gives One Show viewers something to smile at 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Manford denies Middleton involvement 1
simonjmr 3 years
NZ miners criticised for copycat disaster 2
Sinnick 3 years
Ann Widdecombe says she has never had it, good or otherwise 5
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Who gives a fuck replys multi millionaire Daniel Radcliffe 1
arrghgarry 3 years

when told the latest harry potter is not doing so well...

Work starts on a Tradesman's Entrance at Westminster Abbey 1
arflaethel 3 years

Royal wedding: Westminster Abbey's historic moments;, The arrival of the bride and her Father at the Tradesman's Entrance, escorted by General Sir Richard Dannatt's Loyal Deserters The choir...

Berlusconi replaces penis and hand between a rock and a hard place. 0
Griffin 3 years
Millions of souvenir mugs expected to buy royal wedding memorabilia 12
Des Custard 3 years
Lady Gaga derides she is a one dick pony 2
arrghgarry 3 years
Tory minister says children in need have never had it so good 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Archbishop of Canterbury accosted with Royal Wedding venue bribe 1
Basil_B 3 years

Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams spoke today of his strange encounter with a shadey looking individual who accosted him outside his Canterbury residence yesterday morning. 'I was merely on...

Train driver accused of trying to powerslide the 0645 to Hastings. More soon. 1
MC One R 3 years
Travelodge Manager Sacked in Royal Wedding Venue Vote-Rigging Scandal 9
De-scribe 3 years

As speculation mounts as to which venue will be chosen to host next year’s royal wedding, the Manager of Wembley Travelodge, North London has been sacked for seeking to influence the final voting. ...

Electrolux Hoover Spare Wheel, best Prices. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

Electrolux Hoover Spare Wheel, best Prices. Electrolux Hoover Spare Wheel, best Prices. Electrolux Hoover Spare Wheel, approx 8 cm diameter, large stock, hurry!! Fits all Marquis models 1972 -...

Pudsey the Bear demands NHS inquiry 2
MC One R 3 years

into why he has had to wait so long to get his eye fixed. Doesn't make a fuss in public, but in private he is as angry as a bear with a sore head. Nothing so sad as a bear with no depth perception...

Newsbiscuit to start selling cars and other gear 5
arrghgarry 3 years
New Areas High class massage service wish all the best to HRH Prince William 0
arrghgarry 3 years

and Kate Middleton and are also looking for qualified staff...

Amy Winehouse lifts UK mood still further 0
MC One R 3 years

Confirms tour dates will all be 4000 miles away...

Quite large homeless sheep to sell magazines: 8
ramblesnake 3 years

'The Biggish Ewe'...

Kobe Bryant regrets being associated with the video game "rape that Bitch" 0
arrghgarry 3 years

he now wishes he had used the word woman or room help ,in retrospect Bitch is a nasty name to call your love interest...

Ireland having "second thoughts" about Partition. More soon. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Penguins behind coup attempt in Madagascar 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
46 Year Old Fat Bald Man Knows Eva Longoria Would Be Happy If She Dated Him 4
IABP 3 years
Undiscovered Vivaldi sonatas "Farmhouse" and "Meat Feast" found in archive. 4
tl72uk 3 years
Ian Duncan Smith clarifies Commons slip over benefit data 0
MC One R 3 years

Following his slip in the Commons that figures from a website were quoted as the "official" statistics, IDS has been forced to make it quite clear that all government statistics are of course copied...