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Polish supporters claim they were just singing "Funky Gibbon". UEFA close case 0
grottymonty 08.06.12 2:48pm
Racists at Netherlands practice grateful for training opportunity.

“One of the best squad sessions we ever had.” claimed Euro 2012 racial abuse co-ordinator Jan Terleki at the close of the Netherlands training session. “The only thing it lacked was a dust up...

weematt 08.06.12 1:43pm
"Say Cheese My Son" As Eastenders Sets The Pace Again

Never one to shy away from the big topics and issues of the day, BBC flagship drama, Eastenders, is once again setting the agenda and is on course to shock its fans and critics alike. In the past...

Duff 08.06.12 1:21pm
Masonic secret handshake upgraded - extra digit required

More to follow...

apepper 08.06.12 12:46pm
Ukraine claims UK ministers adopting "spolitics" tactics over Euro 2012

As UK government ministers ready themselves to boycott England's group games in the Euro 2012 football championships in Ukraine over the country's human rights record. Ukraine minisiters have...

simonjmr 08.06.12 12:10pm
Terry disappointed at Auschwitz theme park - but praises the short queues

'The queues were short, but the actual events were a bit disappointing, to be perfectly honest.' John Terry has given his verdict on his visit to Poland's biggest tourist attraction, the Auschwitz...

ronseal 08.06.12 11:27am
Des Custard
London Underground to introduce racism carriages

London Underground has unvieled plans to introduce 'racism carriages' secifically for people who want to let off steam after a hard days work by shouting indescriminate abuse towards anyone who looks...

Shandy 08.06.12 11:21am
Remaining Bee Gee releases 'How deep is your Bruv?' 1
tedweasel 08.06.12 11:01am
Not Amused
Excitement as teenagers find unsecured wifi connection in local woods 0
gaijintendo 08.06.12 10:37am
John Terry closes in on European Father of the Year title

Fans of British parenting look like having something to celebrate as John Terry seeks to breakthrough to the next level and claim the European Father of the Year title. Terry, an ex-winner of British...

Yikes 08.06.12 10:35am
Gary Barlow turns down lucrative offer to be resident singer on Dragon Capsule

A spokesperson for Space X, the commercial space exploration wing of India's Tata Motors, today confirmed that they had failed in their bid to obtain Gary Barlow's signature on a multi-million dollar...

rustad 08.06.12 9:09am
Pensioner To Play Left-Back at Euros for Footballing Reasons

Roy Hodgson today called up 79 year old Bert Cooke to the England Euro 2012 squad today, purely for ‘footballing reasons’ he said completely lyingly. 79 times capped England legend Rio Ferdinand...

daneade 08.06.12 8:37am
Ministers pretend to boycott Euro 2012 'to get out of games'

Government ministers have wriggled out of attending Euro 2012 by 'protesting' about Ukraine's jailing of former prime minister Yulia Tymoshenko, according to a secret recording of a Cabinet meeting....

V Riddoch 08.06.12 7:51am
Man paints lines on grass, dons boots and puts up nets for 'footballing reasons" 0
ronseal 08.06.12 7:14am
England footballers to play badly as protest

England's footballers are planning their own protest over the hosting of Euro 2012. "We're contractually oblidged to play, so we've decided to leave the tournement as soon as possible by being as...

apepper 08.06.12 4:01am
Cheryl Cole Unlikely Humanitarian Saviour

Cheryl Cole's fame may be of questionable merit to many members of the intellectual community, but that may change after her recent visit to Somalia, where in mere moments she raised living...

Textbook 08.06.12 3:22am
Roy Hodgson found in hotel room with hookers and drugs 'for footballing reasons' 0
Alan Sundry 07.06.12 10:07pm
Alan Sundry
Prayers Being Offered For Stricken TV Royal Anchors

A frantic race is on this evening to find an urgent cure for a virus that's wreaking havoc throughout the UK's media community. The infection named, [i]Chronic Sycophantosis[/i], believed to be a new...

Duff 07.06.12 9:16pm
Dejected Clinton cards buyer returns home with £35million worth of weasel balls 0
Mandy Lifeboat 07.06.12 9:16pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Olympic ladies' soccer tickets unsold "for footballing reasons". 0
nickb 07.06.12 8:29pm
Hitler confirms invasion of the Sudetenland for 'footballing reasons' 2
Alan Sundry 07.06.12 8:24pm
Psittaphobic Chinaman has cleft palate 1
cinquecento 07.06.12 8:23pm
Queen ‘As Fit As Kate Middleton’

As celebrations for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee took place in all parts of the Uk over the bank holiday weekend, politicians and famous people have queued up to pay tribute to our monarch. David...

Mark Gregory 07.06.12 6:55pm
Mark Gregory
PM in Merkel gaffe storm

Latest: PM David Cameron was caught in a diplomatic storm after his latest round of Euro-crisis summitry with German Chancellor Merkel, when overheard muttering 'Two World Wars and one common...

Miss Hegas 07.06.12 6:25pm
Miss Hegas
Austerity Cuts See An Am-A-Drama Ding-Dong At The BBC

During these past two years we've all become accustomed to the concept of "Austerity Britain" and nowhere are the cuts biting harder and deeper than at the BBC. Budgets have been trimmed back so...

Duff 07.06.12 6:11pm
'Lease this pub' now the most popular pub name survey reveals

A comprehensive survey of pub names has revealed the changing face of British pubs. The Campaign for Real Ale (CAMRA) survey has showed how a whole host of new names has burst on the scene,...

Mandy Lifeboat 07.06.12 5:01pm
MOD shocked at sponsorship deals for the British Army

Following a series of cuts and funding problems the MOD was shocked today to find some of the oldest regiments are being merged and sponsored. From November this year - The Gordon Highlanders will...

Mart1054 07.06.12 5:00pm
Ray Bradbury to be buried on monday

a joke so obscure I've only put it up to tease...

Mandy Lifeboat 07.06.12 4:25pm
The real Nick Clegg found washed up on a beach in Oregon

It has been confirmed that a man who was found washed up on an Oregon beach is the real Nick Clegg. The leader of the Liberal Democrats disappeared just over two years ago in a Tsunami of public...

Not Amused 07.06.12 4:00pm
Not Amused
Weather and River Event Spoil BBC Presenter Jamboree

Weather and River Event Spoil BBC Presenter Jamboree - 'But we are proud of what we achieved' say BBC. A once in a lifetime opportunity for BBC presenters to massage their egos, celebrate their...

l0w 07.06.12 1:32pm