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Council workers to confiscate cheap alcohol from supermarkets and off licences 0
ItsReevesy 3 years

Local council offices are expecting to be inundated with job applications from teenagers after the Government announces new measures to combat alcohol abuse. More soon...

World Cup Octopus Dies - Rooney hires extra Doctors 0
wolfie 3 years
England's Biggest Horny Dumb Animal Finally Shot - Rooney Hires Extra Bodyguard 0
wolfie 3 years
UN Monopoly Game Revealed -UK Economy Rescued as Osborne Lands on "Free Parking" 0
wolfie 3 years

The mystery UK growth figure of 0.8% was explained by a Downing Street leak revealing that the UK has been locked in an international game of Monopoly with most other UN countries. A behatted and...

Economy back on track, says Osborne. 0
deskpilot3 3 years

Surprise move sees all spending cuts reversed. Thousands of public sector workers to get their jobs back...

Growth in last quarter entirely due to Rooney's pay rise. More soon. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Psychic octopus predicts untimely death of German national football team... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Esther Rantzen "tripped" OAPs in bid to boost commission from accident helpline 0
dogwheels 3 years
Jaws shark checks into rehab 3
dogwheels 3 years

Rene Carson, the shark who terrified a generation of movie-goers in the hit film Jaws, has checked into an exclusive Beverly Hills rehabilitation clinic. Carson's family said in a statement that he...

Dancing in the streets of Aberdeen at another year of stealing daylight from 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years

the bastard English...

Government raises threat level to 'Severe' after days get shorter 0
dogwheels 3 years

The government has raised the UK threat level to 'Severe' after scientists found conclusive evidence that the days are becoming shorter. The new threat level means the security services believe the...

BST ‘hanging in there, could go to the wire’ – Greenwich 0
malgor 3 years
Anne Widdecombe No Longer Virgin 2
De-scribe 3 years

Strictly Come Dancing star Anne Widdecombe has controversially pulled out the Nativity Play in her home village of Haytor, Devon. Miss Widdecombe had played the part of the Virgin Mary in the annual...

FBU Strike Cancelled 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Some one got the porn channel connected up again in the night shift's waiting room...

Media 'Talent' Rampages Throught Street Ripping up Signs 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

When challenged one said 'Do you know who I am?' while another said 'We can find out where you live'...

Our news coverage is fair and balanced, says director general of Man United TV 1
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

The director general of Man United TV has hit out at accusations that his TV channel is biased, labelling his critics as right wing, climate change little englanders. Speaking at the Chorley...

PM says Firefighters strike on 5thNov is irresponsible, though funding cut isn't 2
virtuallywill 3 years

Fireworks later, indoors if wet...

5th November 47hr Fire Strike; Plumbers morning/afternoon slots now available 0
thackaray 3 years
Jobs hits back at The Independent launching new paper called i 4
fun and games 3 years

Apple Managing Director Steve Jobs has complained at The Independent launching a new light edition, branded “i”, as a breach of copyright. “We don’t own all the letters, but everyone knows...

Yorkshire Post launches 2p newspaper – the ‘aye’ 0
Nobby Holder 3 years

Eh Up,

Fiddler on the Roof writer died researching sequel: "Rod Hull and the TV aerial" 0
thackaray 3 years
Trumpton Firemen Go On Strike 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grubb plan to strike on Novemeber the 5th in protest at the new working contract. Dibble, the shop steward, said it was outrageous new contracts were...

Paul the Octopus died in Germany today and he forecast 0
arrghgarry 3 years

that he would be known forever as a great Oracle ,which ever way you sliced and diced it ...

Paul the Ironic Octopus dies. His last words were 'So long, suckers...' 0
pinxit 3 years
Nov 5th strike by firefighters foiled as historical records show date is wrong. 3
Basil_B 3 years

The proposed strike by firefighters for bonfire night as been thwarted today by records showing that the attempt of blowing up Parliament by Guy Fawkes and his cronies was infact attempted on the 4th...

Concerns that Blair's nose getting too long to fit in Iraq enquiry witness box 0
rickwestwell 3 years
Paul the Octopus Executed for War Crimes 0
De-scribe 3 years

Tentacled tipster Paul the Octopus, who successfully predicted several results during the 2010 World Cup, has been executed. The cephalopod mollusc was only recently discovered to have hidden his...

Man finding new way of flogging dead horse accused of reinventing the weal 2
Des Custard 3 years
Relief ,as the youth in bridgeend have stopped killing themselves 0
arrghgarry 3 years

and moved on to killing other youth...

9 to 15 year old Romanians caught working in fields had just taken over from the 2
arrghgarry 3 years

6 to 9 year olds...