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Queen and McGuinness suspected of rehearsing “street” handshake

The Queen and Martin McGuinness shook hands today, with onlookers suspecting the pair may have spent some time practising the complex routine. The greeting began with the traditional “palm to...

grumblechops 27.06.12 2:33pm
Angelos Epithemiou signed by Sir Alex, is to join the Old Trafford PR Team

It’s another of one those ….. “never saw that one coming, moments” Leaked by a trusted source, and in advance of an official Old Trafford announcement, this reporter can today confirm the...

HenryMJUK 27.06.12 1:53pm
'Hilarious' hand buzzer prank mars Royal handshake with Martin McGuinness 2
Skylarking 27.06.12 1:51pm
Nails UK
Queen , Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness performed Macarena together

The Queen, Gerry Adams and former IRA commander Martin McGuinness have performed the iconic Latino dance known as ‘The Macarena’ together after really hitting it off earlier today, it has emerged...

Gary Stanton 27.06.12 1:47pm
Gary Stanton
Guy from can't believe his luck when he rings RBS 0
rustytruss 27.06.12 1:45pm
Teen Heartthrob Rupert Murdoch denies that News Corp has too much power

The Leverson inquiry has opened up a new wave of bullying for News Corp CEO, teen sensation and all round great guy Rupert Murdoch. Losers all over say lame thing like News Corp has too much...

confuzzled 27.06.12 1:36pm
Queen Shakes Hands With Martin McGuinness. She's A Big Fan Of 'Take Me Out' 0
christianmanley 27.06.12 1:29pm
Creation Scientists hail launch of world's largest prayer collider

Creation scientists have gathered in Utah for the inauguration of the most ambitious new development in advanced theological research in decades - the Salt Lake City Prayer Super-Collider. In a 12...

bonjonelson 27.06.12 12:44pm
Midfield Diamond
RBS say 'computer glitch' that caused credit crunch should now be fixed

The Royal Bank of Scotland has today come out and apologised for the ‘minor glitch’ in it’s computer system that caused it to almost crumble into bankruptcy and need a multi-billion pound...

Perks 27.06.12 12:32pm
Midfield Diamond
Massive spike of "Sudden interest in Tennis" syndrome reported ...

Doctors say not to panic, symptons last two weeks at most...

Kramaring 27.06.12 12:26pm
McGuinnes being taught to kiss babies and stop biting their heads off. 0
rustytruss 27.06.12 12:24pm
Riots To Go Ahead Despite Olympics Say Organisers

It’s been confirmed this summer’s traditional week of rioting WILL go ahead despite the real possibility of a national ‘feelgood’ factor provided by the Olympics. Blackberry Messenger...

daneade 27.06.12 12:11pm
Coming soon... the new Rom-Com.... "When Marty met Lizzie"

Kept apart for years, their hands met across an empty room and they knew it was love...

Ian Searle 27.06.12 11:58am
Ian Searle
McGuiness to reporters : When I said I hated the Queen, I ment Bohemian Rhapsody

more later...

Scronnyglonkle 27.06.12 11:58am
Fixed Penalty Camera to be installed in Parliament Square to gain U-Turn revenue 1
DroleNoel 27.06.12 11:54am
Pornstar 'Big' Ben accidently adorned with actual Olympic rings 'Prince Albert'

More piercing news one liners later...

thackaray 27.06.12 11:53am
Queen's apology to McGuinness : "Mason's Grip" only meant in fun 0
Drylaw 27.06.12 11:48am
Bexley Man Discovers 50,000 Coin Hoard In Large Jar In His Shed

The archeological world was abuzz today as news filtered through of the discovery of a huge hoard of 1 and 2p coins in a shed in Bexley. Long-time Bexley resident Ted Johnson made the discovery in...

daneade 27.06.12 11:25am
Queens complains that she asked for a Guinness not a McGuinness 0
Mark66 27.06.12 11:19am
Bishop resigns after hugging woman in bikini

"I shouldn't have worn it", admitted the Bishop, "but when you wear a dress for a living, it just seemed so natural."...

apepper 27.06.12 11:05am
Prison sex study finds secret 'penal colony' instances between some inmates 0
charlies_hat 27.06.12 10:11am
McGuinness due to meet Queen on return from Oldham 0
medici2471 27.06.12 9:47am
Metal Detector Geeks Win The Right To Say ‘Fuck You’

Two metal detector saddos in Jersey today won the right to tell all the people who’ve slagged them off as sad losers to Go And Get Fucked. Until today Reg Mead and Richard Miles had wasted the...

daneade 27.06.12 9:39am
X Factor contest to choose future Monarch will end 'culture of entitlement'

Prime Minister David Cameron has today outlined proposals to make the royal family ‘more of a meritocracy’., Talking of the 'great scenes' at the jubilee, Cameron asked – “Wouldn't it be...

rufioriggs 27.06.12 9:07am
Queen & McGuinness both plan to cross their fingers behind backs 0
charlies_hat 27.06.12 8:58am
Queen & McGuinness to say 'make up make up never ever break up' 0
charlies_hat 27.06.12 8:57am
Cameron refuses to condemn individual tax evading tory party donors.

did someone mention philip green?...

arthurminnit 27.06.12 8:57am
Ballerina quartet to adopt a four tutu formation. 8
weematt 27.06.12 8:56am
Germany accused of buying Euro 2012 as indebted competitors fall by the wayside 0
simonjmr 27.06.12 8:28am
Voluntary Financial Advisors "count for nothing" 0
seymour totti 27.06.12 8:20am
seymour totti