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Stacey brands Jenny 'a crafty bitch' 2
dogwheels 3 years

Stacey Morgan, a 15-year-old girl from Swansea, has branded her so-called best mate a "crafty bitch". Morgan said that her friend, Jenny Smith, also 15, pretended to like people but only to use them...

Trading Standards force BBC to change name of reality dancing show 3
dogwheels 3 years

Officials said the show was "not strictly about the dancing"...

Manchester residents sad they won't see Rooney play as he's staying at United. 2
MADJEZ 3 years
Cuts Programme Suspended as Chancellor Loses Fag Packet 1
De-scribe 3 years
IDS defends his get on the bus quip by saying it's drier than getting on a bike 0
Basil_B 3 years

A comment from Iain Duncan-Smith has angered union chiefs today who have slammed his 'get on the bus' quote as a throw back to the nasty tory days. This was famously displayed by Norman Tebbit's '...

Rooney Virus Hits Spoof News Website 1
De-scribe 3 years

An unexpected proliferation of stories relating to troubled football star Wayne Rooney have broken out on the spoof news website NewsCake - "All the news that's fit to eat". Webmasters attribute the...

Eric Pickles Appointed Fat Bastard Tsar 0
De-scribe 3 years

Even more soon...

Jane Austen admits to using Auto-Tune Quill. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Alex Ferguson sought Tony Blair's advice on Rooney 0
dogwheels 3 years

It has emerged that Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson sought the advice of former Prime Minister Tony Blair over what to do about troubled striker Wayne Rooney. And, according to sources,...

Wayne Rooney to be nationalised to cut deficit. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

Footballer Wayne Rooney, one of the countries most lucrative money making operations is to be taken under government control Chancellor George Osbourne announced today. More soon...

Jodrel bank hopes of regaining Cheshires largest round object status dashed 0
Basil_B 3 years

as Rooney and more in particular his face decide to stay put in the county...

BBC announce 80th anniversary details: 'Strictly' to be held on Reith's grave 2
pinxit 3 years
Mod investigation reveals 0
G H 3 years

MOD investigations reveal nuclear submarine HMS "Astute" ran aground because spending cuts left the vessels senior officer Cdr Andy Coles with an insufficent supply of 10p pieces for the telescope...

Channel 4 sci-fi 'The Event' criticized for over-arty editing. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

New drama series the Event has been slammed by viewers for the story jumping backwards and forwards just for the sake of being arty. Seven Hours Earlier, This new show’s annoying, maybe I should...

Eric Pickles may be victim of squeezed middle 0
roybland 3 years
Newspapers asked to send all their deliveries directly to recycling centers 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Government OED spending review threatens huge cuts in V-Z 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Vince Cable announced that "the richness of the English language is currently unaffordable and the previous government over-promised on key contracts in “G” and “L” which are now coming back...

Austerity restaurant offers horses for courses 5
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Wayne Rooney. If Carlsberg made C**** 1
ruthless1 3 years
Councillor sacked for dressing as Hitler... 0
dominic_mcg 3 years

claims he was always told "dress for the job you want not the job you have." More soon...

French workers looking forward to two extra years on strike. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Osborne agrees to increase NHS funding until Baroness Thatcher is allowed home. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Godot arrives, but is detained by immigration at Heathrow 14
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Man can't remember where he put half-bricks last used in poll tax riots 1
la maga 3 years
French workers may refuse to strike after the age of sixty 0
roybland 3 years
Government to introduce Gameshow tax 0
euankitson 3 years

Horror in Whitehall last night as the Secretary of State for Sport, Culture and Game Shows revealed that in a desperate bid to raise funds the Government will be introducing a tax on Gameshow...

Saturday night is 'alright', according to new opinion poll 0
dogwheels 3 years

Friday nights don't poll as well...

Submarine towed free - tug captain says comedy of situation enough payment 1
dogwheels 3 years

MoD couldn't afford it anyway...

Youth R future, says brand guru, with 'know it all-ness and proven gullibility' 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years
Man Utd Fans Now Know What its Like to be Coleen. 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years