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George at ASDA reprimanded after "I love Thatcher" recording is leaked 0
charlies_hat 4 years
John Galliano wins big uniform design contract for British Movement 0
ronseal 4 years

Last night a cock a hoop John Galliano was cracking open the champagne, after clinching the prestigious British Movement uniform account. 'This is the contract everyone in the fashion industry...

Angry Birds Shooting Inquest Begins 0
adambrod66 4 years

Limbless they may be, but armless they surely are not. Angry Birds' recent Suidae-based shooting spree in Cumbria shocked the nation and today an inquest begins into what caused the rampage., The...

4 years

In a surprise move the Jamaican Justice Ministry has granted the wishes of 15 Prisoners on Death Row to be deported to Iran where the convicts then hope to "get Stoned to death"...

ECJ rule that bookmakers must offer equal odds for all bets placed 0
charlies_hat 4 years
European Court of Justice Confirms - Women are "Shite Drivers" (WASD). 0
4 years

In a landmark ruling the ECJ has confirmed what has long been suspected by industry Pundits and Blokes., Apart from sitting bolt-upright (often with the seat back acually 'tilting forwards'), inches...

Insurance Premiums to Change After ECJ Ruling 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

The European Court of Justice (ECJ) has today ruled that insurance companies cannot charge different premiums to car insurance customers based on their gender, age, driving experience, accident...

Pakistan show interest as Davies reveals he bats for the other side. 0
tl72uk 4 years
M.O.t.D. first redundancies announced in defence cuts - Alan Hansen distraught 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Ancelotti takes pot shot at Cole 3
AndyOverhead 4 years

Following Ashley Cole's misinterpretation of Carlo's order to practice shooting, an inside source at Chelsea has said the manager is fuming with Cole, and that plans have been delayed to take the...

Colin Farrell is bookies favourite for Kings Speech sequel 0
Banking Escapee 4 years

The foul mouthed, hell raising Irish actor Colin “Bullseye in Daredevil” Farrell has emerged as the likely favourite to succeed Colin Firth in the sequel to Oscar favourite, The Kings Speech. ...

Millions who protested changes to Facebook now inexplicably silent 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Creationist, Sarah Palin, blames Cambrian explosion on al Qaeda 15
Qoxiivi 4 years

Am new here - just an idea for a ticker headline...

Under 5s tell satirists to find their own playground to play in 5
Gerontius 4 years

Thousands of butch heterosexual fanny magnets masquerading as satirists are kicking themselves today after failing to take part in a competition set by two internationally acclaimed sportsmen.,...

Defence Review cost cuts means 1 in 5 pilots now unable to locate labia. 1
DiY 4 years
Ben & Jerry’s launch ‘Spunky Monkey’ and ‘Pavement Pizza’ flavours... 1
Doylem 4 years

After the launch, by the Icecreamists restaurant in Covent Garden, of an ice cream made from human breast milk, Ben & Jerry’s have taken up the challenge of creating new flavours from body...

Sam Cam to introduce no fly zone over labia 1
Ian Searle 4 years

with hat tip to Sex in the City 2...

All Chelsea players now issued with weapons ahead of Man United game... 2
Doylem 4 years
Drunken Teetotaller denies hicosprissy 0
OldThingy 4 years
ECJ to rule on whether women can read maps and navigate 5
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Very English revolution halted by 'charming street performance.' 11
SingingHinny 4 years

A burgeoning revolution which threatened to shake London to its core was narrowly averted yesterday when violent anti-government forces were quelled by a street performers in Piccadilly Circus. The...

Easy Jet to enforce no fly zone over Libya. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
Ashley Cole denis shooting at RAF rescue mission. 0
Ian Searle 4 years
As he retires as CEO of Tesco, Sir Terry Leahy “gets help with his packing”... 1
Doylem 4 years
Gaddafi's son: "Duke of York no friend of mine" 0
nilbymouse 4 years

Saif al-Islam, the son of Col Gaddafi, has come under fire for his "close friendship" with delusional despot Prince Andrew, a relationship which threatens to undermine the crackpot Libyan's standing...

Frog Spawn blamed for racists obsenity row 3
OldThingy 4 years

There is a dispute accross the pond. A language teacher has sead that the standerd of spilling was erotic and the French are revaulting...

Imperial rule not OK 0
OldThingy 4 years

Despots wish to rule the world dashed when he lost his tape measure., His imperial desires thwarted by a metric of the light...

Silence 1
OldThingy 4 years

“Mommy, Mommy, what is silence?”, “Quite dear, I’m trying to watch television.”...

Statue of Shane McGowan unveiled in Dublin. 0
riesler 4 years

Produc placement payout claims 'could total millions' 1
Zadok the second 4 years

After years of not being rewarded for his tireless efforts at product placement, Chester-based actuary Marcus Webb has finally submitted invoices totalling £4.3million to several international...