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Sliced hot cross bun loaf hailed as the best thing since sliced bread 0
simonjmr 07.04.12 11:07am
Why people hate me for being beautiful, by David Cameron

On a recent trip to a restaurant with friends I was delighted when a man came over and gave £250,000 to me to support my political party. ‘This is from the executives at HSBC – they want to...

Vertically Challenged Giant 07.04.12 10:50am
iPhone 5 Will Walk Your Dog

On the stroke of one minute past midnight today, Apple's iPhone 5 launched to much pomp and fanfare, and to the sound of a million anoraks being hastily zipped up. The brand spanking new phone allows...

The Galah 07.04.12 10:44am
The Galah
James Cameron ‘astonished’ to learn there really was a ‘Titanic’

Director of long films James Cameron has spoken of his ‘astonishment’ at learning there really was a ship called the Titanic, which also sank after hitting an iceberg. Cameron wrote and directed...

07.04.12 10:43am
Romans to outsource crucifixion service

State Governor Pontious Pilate has announced bold plans to transform the Judean Crucifixion Service. By transferring Centurion staff into a new private-public partnership with Serco/G4S he claims...

Mandy Lifeboat 07.04.12 9:12am
GCHQ snooping on email and web surfing was our idea says Google patent lawsuit

A tiny insignificant european principality called Britain could face the mighty Google in court, after inadvertently falling foul of one of the software giant's patents. The trouble happened after...

ronseal 07.04.12 7:27am
Diana Ross:SLAMS N Korea's Supreme Leader . 'BOY! I AM the Supreme's leader!'

A close source also revealed further action would be taken if North Korea's official leader's personal anthem is changed to 'I'm in the middle of a chain reaction' from the classic Orville legendary...

Imaginary Monster or am I 07.04.12 3:08am
Imaginary Monster or am I
David Cameron causes panic in Dixons

In light of a recent scare concerning a virus effecting apple computers the government has released a statement urging the public to 'stock up Macs' incase the virus does hit., The statement that...

MrG123 06.04.12 7:41pm
Marshall amp creator goes all the way to hell/heaven

ok, so you have to say it quickly...

charlies_hat 06.04.12 7:40pm
Bell Ringers Banned by Local Church Have Been Awarded No-Bell Prize 1
GillsImp 06.04.12 7:34pm
Light Bulbs Easier to Carry Says Farmers 0
GillsImp 06.04.12 6:54pm
Airline pilots who throw up at end of flight may have a terminal illness. 3
weematt 06.04.12 6:33pm
Stourbridge man claims he has "lucky teeth" 0
nickb 06.04.12 6:27pm
Olympic cycling ticket row. Hoy and dad to ride tandem with baby seat 2
weematt 06.04.12 6:25pm
Fern Britton Lookalike denies being a Plant 0
GillsImp 06.04.12 6:02pm
BBC Easter tv schedule to feature new apostle action movie "The Deity Dozen" 1
Haywood Manley 06.04.12 5:11pm
New Type III Diabetes is "best ever" claims NHS

The National Health service has unveiled the long-expected new type III Diabetes to a packed press conference today in Hammersmith claiming it is the 'best ever' version of the disease. Officially...

bonjonelson 06.04.12 4:59pm
Doctors recommend display ban on Daily Mail

The British Medical Association has submitted a recommendation to the government that calls for a ban on the Daily Mail being displayed openly in supermarkets and newsagents. BMA's Chairman of...

Qoxiivi 06.04.12 4:56pm
Londoners in shock as only 10 Met officers accused of racism. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 06.04.12 4:55pm
Daily Mail names Samantha Brick as "New Queen of Hearts" 1
Scronnyglonkle 06.04.12 3:59pm
Ryanair denies charging passengers extra for emergency landing. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 06.04.12 3:03pm
Fury at government task force COBRA threatens zoo chaos

'The use of Cobras in this committee' is nothing short of snakism spat leader Monty Python yesterday. All types of snakes are demanding ssstrike action. 'We're not standing for this. We too can be...

Imaginary Monster or am I 06.04.12 2:49pm
Imaginary Monster or am I
Stations of the cross: commuters launch Easter rail fare protest 0
nickb 06.04.12 2:22pm
Tourette Man to be Voice of London's Tube during Olympics

London Underground have chosen a Tourette's syndrome sufferer to voice all their station and train announcements throughout the two weeks of this year's Summer Olympics. In conjunction with the...

pinxit 06.04.12 10:50am
Ryanair to roll out 'Big Dipper' flights.

After a successful test flight over Germany Ryanair are to go ahead with their combined flight and fairground ride concept. The test flight has entered the Guinness Book of Records for the ride with...

weematt 06.04.12 10:15am
Dawkins' Easter message risks Schism in Atheism.

Traditional atheists have claimed that Richard Dawkins' Easter messages risks causing a schism in atheism. Dawks, the followers of Dawkins have denied this. Traditionalists blame Dawkins and his...

Ian 06.04.12 10:11am
Olympic Fox Hunting row - "Over my dead body" says Fox 0
Drylaw 06.04.12 9:02am
Failure of pandas to mate blamed on "high costs of childcare for middle earners" 0
quango 06.04.12 8:52am
Google's 'augmented glasses' could bring artificial intelligence to idiots

Google's latest gadget, a pair of 'virtual reality' glasses that can identify objects in the real world, could help a cretin relate to the man in the street, according to experts. The glasses...

06.04.12 8:34am
Slimmer's World's calorie points system proves biblical statement.

The dieting company claims that the eating of hot cross buns and chocolate eggs proves Jesus died for our 'Sins'...

alanthetortoise 06.04.12 8:10am