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Barber of Seville found guilty of grooming 0
cinquecento 08.05.12 3:09pm
Cameron promises no let up in tough decisions on Nick Clegg 0
cinquecento 08.05.12 3:05pm
French and Greek Dyslexics reject Austin Healy measures

And Belgian voters look set to reject Ostende territory measures...

Ian Searle 08.05.12 2:24pm
Ian Searle
Bottle of Daddies Sauce fails paternity test

After appearing on The Jeremy Kyle Show with a right Nutella...

Ian Searle 08.05.12 2:23pm
Ian Searle
World’s most fickle football fan poised to celebrate another title

Manchester man Jeremy Clode moved across town, bought a Manchester City shirt, hat, and scarf, and learnt the words to "Blue Moon", in anticipation of this weekend’s exciting conclusion to the...

Yikes 08.05.12 2:17pm
Cable’s “Liz Hurley moment” steals show as Dave and Nick renew vows

Business Secretary Vince Cable was at the centre of controversy after stealing the limelight at his bosses’ re-commitment ceremony by turning up in a daring Versace number which left little to the...

grumblechops 08.05.12 2:04pm
MI5 discovers Miliband's leadership in locked holdall

In a bizarre turn of events, and MI5 spooks-person has disclosed the recent discovery of Ed Miliband's leadership inside a red holdall bag, "locked from the inside". Agents became concerned after...

ibamo 08.05.12 1:01pm
Scientists successfully neutralise Jim al-Khalili

Scientists today revealed that they have managed to control the spread of the BBC Science guru Jim al-Khalili by the application of Jim al-Khalacid - rendering him impotent with a neutral ph of zero....

MaverickRat 08.05.12 12:56pm
Al OPecia
New Health and Safety fears as expert warns underwear bombs may contain nuts 0
MrBen 08.05.12 12:54pm
Clegg and Cameron deny renewing vows always sure sign of extramarital affair 0
button 08.05.12 12:39pm
Newsbiscuit contributor fails to read previous postings 0
bonjonelson 08.05.12 11:53am
London Zoo reports 200 monkeys" furiously working " on relaunch of coalition 0
Bismarck 08.05.12 11:25am
Argentine Olympic Football team invited to train on Falklands Mine Fields. 10
Al OPecia 08.05.12 11:24am
Al OPecia
"Are you playing with your detonator" becomes new Gay catchphrase 0
Bismarck 08.05.12 11:23am
Shamed medium Derek Acorah to resurrect Bernard Manning during

ironic Black Mass...

Bismarck 08.05.12 11:21am
"Johnny Fartpants" special edition marks launch of Viz in Yemen 0
Haywood Manley 08.05.12 11:19am
Haywood Manley
"Osama's Secret" Underwear range launched in Yemen. More soon 0
Bismarck 08.05.12 11:17am
Former IRA hardman Seamus Murphy claims..

"We didn't need underwear bombs, we just used 15 pints of Guinness and a vindaloo"...

Bismarck 08.05.12 11:14am
David Walliams in ‘doomed’ charity bid to finish Stieg Larsson trilogy

David Walliams has failed in his bid raise money for disadvantaged kids by reading all twenty thousand pages of Stieg Larsson’s millennium trilogy dressed as a transsexual. The writer and performer...

Gary Stanton 08.05.12 11:10am
Gary Stanton
Family discover show amongst Saturday Evening adverts 2
Steve Wilson 08.05.12 10:56am
Cameron and Clegg renew vows in 'intimate' Vegas ceremony

David Cameron and Nick Clegg revealed today that they flew in secret to Las Vegas last week and renewed their coalition vows in front of close family and friends. “We’ve been bored, irritable,...

allmyownstunts 08.05.12 10:29am
Bournemouth EDL Twitter councillor so ashamed she extradites herself.

Following a tweet in which she said "but nobody else except the EDL stick up for the English.", Conservative councillor Sally Henderson said she had suspended herself from the party and referred...

weematt 08.05.12 10:26am
White Star Line relaunches coalition. 0
wallster 08.05.12 10:24am
Argentina rejects British claims to Isle of Wight

As sabre-rattling from Britian's right-wing Coalitionista dictatorship raises fears of renewed conflict, Argentina's president Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner has refused to negotiate away the...

Oxbridge 08.05.12 10:13am
Nazi masterplan for Europe 'could have been communicated better', admits Goebbel

Hitler's second-in-command, propaganda minister Joseph Goebbels, admitted yesterday he could have 'done a better of explaining the Reich's position to the ordinary people', after a Europe-wide...

NewSuburbanDad 08.05.12 10:00am
Elder sibling admits younger brother better at some things

The world of Social Science was left reeling yesterday after shocking research results revealed by Loughborough University. Professor Clive Van Ellis dean of Social Sciences at the University...

button 08.05.12 9:46am
Teenage boy foils mums 'change your underwear' plot 0
Mandy Lifeboat 08.05.12 9:23am
Mandy Lifeboat
Sarkozy considering offers from Disney, Lilliput and the English RFU. 0
Not Amused 08.05.12 9:14am
Not Amused
Priests' call for Vatican to abandon celibacy welcomed by Choristers Union

more later...

dvo4fun 08.05.12 8:42am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Cameron & Clegg rematch at Upton Park - Luxembourg Rules two career comebacks, posh boy pugilists Dave and Nick will relaunch themselves in East London...

ErikP 08.05.12 8:36am