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Police to be paid with second-hand iPods instead of money. 1
Tammy Flugh 4 years

More confiscations soon...
Blackberry launch low cost alternative the NickBerry. Because every loser wins. 0
martin2381 4 years
Authories call for calm over James Corden's 'pregnant fiancee' 6
Oxbridge 4 years

The government and police up and down the UK have appealed for the British people not to overreact to the growing awareness that Julia Carey, 31, has not only got engaged to the unfunny celebrity...
Criminal gangs agree to cuts in line with Police numbers 3
Gerontius 4 years

Violent criminals and organised gangs throughout England and Wales have agreed to scale back their criminal activities by around 20% for the year starting April 2013-2014, The criminal cutbacks were...
Bans on Pakistani crickers overturned “on technicality”... 1
Doylem 4 years

The International Cricket Council (ICC), the world governing body, has overturned the bans on three Pakistani cricketers, for illegal ‘spot-fixing activities. Chairman of the tribunal, Michael...
Weather update 2
riesler 4 years
Assange lawyer claims client will be forced to look at pictures of George W Bush 1
Ostsee 4 years
People who never use libraries protest over closures 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

Thousands of people who have never used a public library in their lives have suddenly decided to protest against their closure., Said one protester: 'Libraries are great! I came in here today and...
Tribute to former Thin Lizzy guitarist ... 1
riesler 4 years

no Moore soon...
True to his word, Fernando Torres doesn't celebrate scoring against Liverpool. 1
riesler 4 years

more karma soon...
“Platitudes on demand” from revamped NHS DIrect help-line... 2
Doylem 4 years

In the wake of the cuts, the NHS Direct help-line is being relaunched as an automated service, offering a range of reassuring platitudes about callers’ ailments. “It won’t get better if you...
ASBOs to be replaced with public naughty step 0
CAC 4 years

Home Secretary Theresa May will announce today that a new policy of confiscating iPods, mobile phones and other gadgets from anti-social young people will be supplemented by the last-resort deterrent...
Fat cats blamed for Sumo corruption in Japan 0
euanc 4 years
Government plan to get more police on the streets, by making them unemployed!!! 1
Ian Searle 4 years
Geordie sets new world record by eating 365 Marathons 4
Gerontius 4 years

You know the rest...
Man receives third degree from University of Wife 2
Psycadelic Squirrel 4 years

Hopefully no more soon...
Odds shortening on Premiership relegation being decided alphabetically 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

West 'Am tipped to survive...
Govt deal with underworld will cut crime so long as 'Loose Women' ...... 1
Stan 4 years

Govt deal with underworld will cut crime so long as [i]'Loose Women'[/i] is taken off TV Fears of a crime wave due to a projected 25% reduction in front-line police jobs were eased after the...
After ill-judged rebranding, Salvation Army invades Suez... 0
Doylem 4 years
Park-based bon viveur “lays down” collection of non-vintage cider bottles... 1
Doylem 4 years

Charlie Boot, of no fixed abode, aged either 42 or “knocking on 60” (depending whether you read his birth certificate or just catch sight of him in daylight), is collecting empty bottles, to...
"Multiculturalism has failed" says Cameron "we'll bring back the Class System&qu 5
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

More Patronage Soon...
Cameron tells forest sell-off protestors that they can't see the wood. 2
deskpilot3 4 years
Shock!, Horror!, After 4 - 4 Draw In Newcastle..... 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

Referee seen flashing big wads around the Toon. "I did not see it, but it could have happened in the players' tunnel," said one French bloke...
Pakistan institutes "no balls" punishment for sex offenders. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Muscular Liberalism 4
Dun Dunkin 4 years

"You WILL eat that humus"...
Brotherhood Of Man set for talks with Mubarak 1
TerribleTim 4 years
Brotherhood of Man release ‘porn’ version of hit, ‘Shave Your Missus for Me’... 0
Doylem 4 years
Cameron urges ‘good’ Muslims to get an ‘I’m not a terrorist, honest’ tattoo... 0
Doylem 4 years
Lost Tribe discovered in South West 2
virtuallywill 4 years

Anthropologists from the South West Development Agency (SWDA) have found a previously un-contacted tribe on the Devon/Cornwall border. The tribe, numbering several hundred has a community along a...
Porage Oats shot-putter to come out of retirement for London 2012. 3
malgor 4 years

The man whose image has appeared on packets of Scott’s Porage Oats for four-and-a-half decades has agreed to come out of retirement to take part in the London Olympics next year. An icon of kilted...