The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Freshness |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Rehab clinic rules out punishing Hatton with lines. | 0 |  |
SingingHinny | 3 years |
| Babies Blinded by Tea | 0 | |
Blobvilla | 3 years |
|
Medical professionals are increasingly appalled by the amount of babies being born blind because of their mother’s addiction to cups of tea. Health workers in maternity wards and those dealing... |
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| Ardent Avatar fan excited to hear of rise in Blue Tit sightings | 0 | |
la maga | 3 years |
| "Oi! That's our job!" yell Labour as Tories trample constitution to own benefit | 0 | |
la maga | 3 years |
| Queens speech cancelled due to performance anxiety | 0 | |
jm | 3 years |
| TV execs confused by failure of "who wants to be a millionaire?" in Zimbabwe | 1 | |
jm | 3 years |
| Physicists blame police for death of MI6 agent. | 5 | |
bonjonelson | 3 years |
|
Quantum Physicists have blamed the recent death of an MI6 agent found stuffed inside a large canvas bag on the investigator who opened the bag. "While in the bag, the agent was both alive and not... |
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| Iran puzzled as US sells $60bn weapons to oppressive religious regime next door | 0 | |
la maga | 3 years |
|
Shit, sorry. Nothing funny about that... |
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| Men accused of making £250k from sperm site collapse in court | 2 | |
brownpaperreporter | 3 years |
|
Both men admitted making 792 deliveries of sperm, and collapsed. Both now weighing 5 stone but showing good muscle definition in the right hand and arm, are in poor health as their service got behind... |
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| Doctors frustrated as 'Kissing it Better' ditched along with Homeopathy | 3 | |
gaijintendo | 3 years |
|
NHS cutbacks, n'aw'that... |
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| 'Flatulence inducing beef cubes laughing stock.' | 0 | |
Mafaking Carwongo | 3 years |
|
Says comedy chef... |
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| TomTom Launch Rolf Harris Voiced SatNav... "D'ya know where we are yet?" | 1 | |
mugwump | 3 years |
| Paul Young visibly upset when seeing Lady Gaga wearing a | 4 | |
arrghgarry | 3 years |
|
meat coat and off the shoulder meat dress... |
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| Virgin Experience Days forced to offer Swimming With Mackerel by HSE | 0 | |
brownpaperreporter | 3 years |
|
In a tightening of Health and Safety regulations, the thrill-seeking days of Virgin, Red Letter and the like are all but over The very popular swimming with dolphins failed the HSE guidance test... |
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| Pope to beatify Blair | 2 | |
NewSuburbanDad | 3 years |
|
Pope Benedict XVI has confirmed that Tony Blair, and not Cardinal Henry Newman, will begin the path to sainthood by being beatified in Birmingham on Thursday. “We need to promote a high-profile... |
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| Court of Appeal upholsters claim by dyslexic furniture restorer. | 2 | |
Mafaking Carwongo | 3 years |
| Confusion as UK prepares for PayPal visit | 2 | |
3 years | |
|
It started as a routine business trip to the UK by Scott Thompson, President of PayPal, but it now appears that a simple typographical error at the Passport and Immigration Office has resulted in... |
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| 'We want equal distribution of stuffing and state sponsored care of upholstery.' | 1 | |
Mafaking Carwongo | 3 years |
|
Says Armchair Socialist... |
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| Alzheimer's sufferer discovers radical new cure. | 0 | |
Mafaking Carwongo | 3 years |
|
But then forgets it... |
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| Don't tell CID - Government to privatise Government | 2 | |
ChrisHarrison | 3 years |
|
A leaked draft of the forthcoming Comprehensive Spending Review has revealed the Government’s most drastic measure yet to reduce public spending – privatising itself. Under the new scheme,... |
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| Pastor Jones explains he will never ever ever ever burn a koran | 0 | |
arrghgarry | 3 years |
|
muslims say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh if it was only that simply ... |
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| Men all over Kentucky wake up today to a perfectly cooked breakfast. | 7 | |
bonjonelson | 3 years |
|
Bad taste? Me?... |
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| MI6 spy death raises theological concerns | 0 | |
hero2zero | 3 years |
|
Consideration of the recent “Spy in a bag” death as a possible, solitary sex game that went wrong and the conclusion that Dr David Kelly committed suicide has forced theological consideration of... |
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| Rooney in training for England trip to Thailand in 2011 | 0 | |
Scroat | 3 years |
|
More sexual impropriety next year... |
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| PETA promises to react to Lady gagas stunt as soon as they have | 0 | |
arrghgarry | 3 years |
|
the perfect $ for $ reply Ad. to raise more money for CEO ... |
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| Story about cricket spot-fixing scandal - headline too long for box | 8 | |
Genghis Cohen | 3 years |
|
[u]Post-match interview hit by spot-fixing claims after Pakistan player mentions all Bananarama’s greatest hits[/u] The police investigation of Pakistan cricketers following allegations of... |
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| Californian police said that Heiress Paris Hilton hid her stash of cocaine | 0 | |
arrghgarry | 3 years |
|
in a vacuous body cavity ,it was the first time they had seen a zip in the back of someones head... |
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| Lady GaGa accepts award wearing meat dress. Post ceremony BBQ photos to follow. | 0 | |
TerribleTim | 3 years |
| Apple Launch Long Awaited Spell Check App for iBrew Tea Leaf Reader | 0 | |
mugwump | 3 years |
| Professor Inspiral Carpets was right swirly eyes a sign of mad cow disease | 0 | |
simonjmr | 3 years |
|
Moooooooore soon... |
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