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Chilean Miners said to be "climbing over themselves" to greet rescue capsule. 1
simonjmr 3 years
Simon Cowel rushes to Chile to organize live TV mine eviction show. Vote now! 1
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Netto to Offer Other Supermarket Named Bags to Save Embarrassment 2
IABP 3 years

Netto is to offer other supermarket named bags to save the embarrassment of shopping there as more and more people start to feel the affects of the government's cuts. People usually bring their own...

William Hague "assumed Chuck Norris was leading hostage rescue" 1
bonjonelson 3 years

William Hague responded angrily this morning to criticism that he really should have known better than to let American special forces "have a go" at rescuing a British hostage in Afghanistan. "When...

US and Russian military reveal blow-up weapons 2
Sinnick 3 years

Under US Freedom of Information directives concerning the Cold War 50 years ago, the US Defense Department has today revealed a Top Secret collaboration with president Kruschev of the former Soviet...

Google tests car that drives itself 1
Deimos 3 years (Kind of an obvious one but I could not resist)...

Ed Elasticband Benefits Millionaires with Free Children 0
Kazytc 3 years

The leader of the labour Party, Ed Elasticband MP, has announced today, that he is going to give all millionaires free children, as a new form, of child benefit, amidst criticising David Cameron, for...

Bid to stem flow of toxic sludge fails, as Daily Mail hits streets again 2
Scroat 3 years
Radio 4 consumer affairs programme... 4
be reasonable 3 years

to be modified to reflect the true attitude of corporate Britain to the consumer. The programme, which will only be broadcast on long-wave, at 2.30 a.m., will be re-named 'screw you and up-yours'...

Oxbridge reintroduce butlers for all students as tuition fee limits lifted 6
la maga 3 years
Details of new Bond Film budget cuts leaked. 1
gaijintendo 3 years

The financial crisis' first victim, the new Bond film is finally started shooting after months of delays. In order to redress the funding issues, the new script is significantly more political, and...

Energy efficient devices responsible for prolonged recession 1
simonjmr 3 years

Campaigners today have outlined that energy efficient devices, light bulbs and domestic appliances have prolonged the current recession. "These devices are removing valuable spends from the economy,...

Hock eye 0
jock 3 years

'Park bench Tennants association', Tee hee...

Germaine Greer said rapists should be named and shamed ,so she has a chance 0
arrghgarry 3 years

of getting some...

Futurologists Hail Clegg's Lies as Key to 100% Accurate Prediction 2
wolfie 3 years

After his Atheist-anti-selection promise results in selective Catholic education for his kids, and his "no-tuition-fee-rise" guarantee brings about tuition-fee rises, scientists now have conclusive...

Progress on closing gender pay gap slows after husbands say they’ll see to it 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
dyslexic dog posts in internet cat room... 1
be reasonable 3 years
World shocked that anyone bothers with drug cheating in Commonwealth Games 1
Des Custard 3 years
Cruise abandons Scientology – ‘So clearly not a real religion.’ 0
therustler 3 years

Tom Cruise dismayed Scientology believers by today abandoning all faith in Scientology and announcing his conversion to the Church of Electric Light Orchestrology. Cruise spoke to us regarding his...

Long-term sick forced to compete in Commonwealth Games to prove lack of fitness. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Met Chief says suing police is too easy, especially the way he runs things 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Green recommends UK economy weekends in Monaco to reduce its tax bill 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Impenetrable Facebook campaign hailed as big success in raising cancer awareness 0
rickwestwell 3 years

As the barrage of "I like it on the floor/table/over the chair" Facebook status updates went from being mildly amusing to simply annoying, breast cancer charities hailed the "great success" that...

Gay Area Of Manchester Accidentally Becomes More Authentic 5
Jesse Bigg 3 years

due to Canal Street losing its initial letter...

X factor rejects reveal name stand for F**k You Danni 0
simonjmr 3 years
Sharon says Send Failed Singer to Zimbabwe to be Shot but Dannii refuses to Go 0
IABP 3 years

In other related news, Gamu won't be shot unless she's a gun-toting drunken moody lawyer say police...

Assault course unveiled as new disability test - failures to be shown on YouTube 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Pretentious poseur admits he can't tell good coffee from Starbucks slop 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
NHS pioneers nano-technology with new generation of sub-atomic physios. 0
be reasonable 3 years
Costa coffee raided by RSPCA for allowing monkeys to use boiling hot machinery. 3
MADJEZ 3 years

Animal welfare experts have criticized the chain for allowing an infinite number of monkeys to try to make the perfect cup of coffee. Numerous animals were scalded by boiling hot water and steam...