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Blockbuster opens 50 new stores to "hit closing targets"

Troubled retailer Blockbuster have opened 50 new stores. "We plan to close 200 outlets over the next six months, but we realised we only have 150 shops, so it makes sense to quickly open 50 new ones...

apepper 19.01.13 2:50pm
Abandoned bear found at Paddington Station wearing hat and coat. Kills ten. 1
19.01.13 2:47pm
'Where's Wally?: High Street Edition' easiest yet say disgruntled readers

pinxit 19.01.13 2:35pm
Angela Merkel ‘a chip off the old block’ says biographer

In a new biography to be released later this year, esteemed author Otto Von Shermann has revealed that German Chancellor, Angela Merkel was in fact quite literally chipped out of the Berlin Wall. ...

Dick Everyman 19.01.13 2:18pm
Dick Everyman
Now That They've Heard About It, The Taliban ...

claim responsibilty for the London helicopter crash...

Titus 19.01.13 2:06pm
Married man in pube trimming dilemma

After 8 years of marriage Steve Leverson faces one of the biggest dilemmas in his relationship over the future of his pubic hair. Since joining his mates in the local five-a-side team he has come...

Dick Everyman 19.01.13 1:47pm
Dick Everyman
Penguin admits cycling to win 100km ‘march’

A penguin who holds the record for being the fastest flightless bird to complete his arduous winter march between the ocean and ancestral breeding grounds has admitted to using a...

DustyBinLaden 19.01.13 12:38pm
Lance Armstrong banned from all forms of physical exercise. That'll teach him... 1
AReader 19.01.13 12:28pm
Lance Armstrong launches the Big Stoned Bike Ride...

Admitting that cycling is irredeemably fucked as a genuine sport, Lance Armstrong has announced that the inaugural Big Stoned Bike Ride will take place in Amsterdam in 2014. “It will be an...

Tripod 19.01.13 12:19pm
Wife of "The Name of the Rose" author admits to being Eco-friendly 3
Smart Alex 19.01.13 12:17pm
Armstrong questions punishment: 'Surely I should be in jail?' 0
One Line Only 19.01.13 11:03am
One Line Only
Fisherman’s Friends ‘not actually friends’

A small advert placed in the Cornish Gazette nearly 15 years ago has revealed that not only had Port Isaac Fisherman’s Friends never been ‘friends’ at the time the close harmony band formed...

Gerontius 19.01.13 10:54am
Oprah interviews dope pedaller 0
Smart Alex 19.01.13 10:53am
Smart Alex
Miranda joins ‘Splash’ to inject more humour 2
Dick Everyman 19.01.13 9:43am
Downmarket society magazine 'Cheshire Strife' launches to great acclaim

With dazzling photographs from the new year's eve 'Black eye ball' held at Wetherspoons in Manchester, publisher Archant is convinced that its latest publication 'Cheshire Strife' will capture the...

antharrison 19.01.13 9:37am
Forecasters baffled as Walford East London miraculously snow free.

More dum dum .. dum dum dum dum...

MADJEZ 19.01.13 9:34am
Scottish prospector discovers giant nugget of lard

A prospector from Montrose who found a 25lb nugget of lard washed up on the beach at St.Cyrus says he has sold the delicacy to a local chip restaurant., Culinary experts say the lard, believed to...

Gerontius 19.01.13 6:05am
"Catch It, Bin It, Kill It" campaign fails to kill off George Osborne

The infamous George Osborne ([i]Georgeus Gideoliver Osbornosus[/i]) bacterium has failed to be controlled yet again, for more than it's third time in office. "We know the filthy germ thrives in...

TheModerator 18.01.13 8:29pm
Napper's 'banned' Queen portrait - nothing to do with me says Cecilia Gimenez 0
laughingjay 18.01.13 7:02pm
Scrap Metal Thieves Annual Conference To Be Held Next To The Angel Of The North

"If you can't beat it, join it," said a spokesman...

Jesse Bigg 18.01.13 6:16pm
Jesse Bigg
'Boozy Dart Throwers To Blame For One-Eyed Barmen'.....

Says Health & Safety spokesman...

Jesse Bigg 18.01.13 5:58pm
Jesse Bigg
Downing Street, Next In Line For Slum-Clearance....

'Too many boozy parties and bad language'said a police spokesman...

Jesse Bigg 18.01.13 5:57pm
Jockeys On Strike At Huddersfield Racecourse.....

Too steep a climb to the winning post!...

Jesse Bigg 18.01.13 5:55pm
Jesse Bigg
Scientists identify the gene which makes women find Miranda funny. - 23

In the greatest scientific breakthrough of the new century biochemists have found the reason only women find the mindless slapstick or Miranda Hart so hilarious. A gene which is responsible for a...

MADJEZ 18.01.13 5:27pm
Eddie Izzard voted best comic at TV awards 0
Perks 18.01.13 4:09pm
F1 announces next British Grand Prix to be helt at Longleat Safari Park 1
18.01.13 3:44pm
World War II lard washed ashore in Irish meat-rendering factory... 0
Tripod 18.01.13 2:29pm
Following 'Skyfall' success, studio announces reboot of 'Our Man Flint' 0
18.01.13 2:19pm
Arsenal reveal new deal for Walcott - 'We'll pay you to play football for us' 0
custard cream 18.01.13 2:07pm
custard cream
Barclays CEO promises "Our new ethical benchmark will be 'Diamond' standard." 5
dvo4fun 18.01.13 2:05pm
custard cream