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Developer of Walkie Talkie building advises Katie Price to avoid area for now

.and not because of her motor...

suki 04.09.13 9:31am
'All I want for Christmas is my two big boobs' say UK's 9 year old girls

As this week sees the school holidays draw to a close, and with the run-up-to-Christmas advertising campaigns now only a matter of days away, news that a recent survey has shown overwhelmingly what...

Robopop 04.09.13 9:27am
Jamaican former 'fitter' makes fruit leathery as 'ex eppy tans peach'. 15
Lens Cap 04.09.13 9:23am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Pilot Whale found in Edinburgh was working for Ryanair Arctic tours 0
Scronnyglonkle 04.09.13 9:16am
Fire at seaside donkey sanctuary devastates stables.

Ass kept on beach. Neat-O. Possibly my most painful to date, and that's saying something...

The All New Jeni B 04.09.13 9:16am
Deporting Vinnie Jones 'not enough'

The self styled renaissance man has threatened to repatriate if immigration in the UK continues to fall. In a stark warning, the ex-footballer said that although England had passed its 'sell by date'...

Wrenfoe 04.09.13 9:11am
Evil Villain shuns underground lair for London skyscraper

After a series of strange events in Central London, Security Services are reported to be investigating claims that an Evil Villain has taken up residence in the new "Walkie Talkie" skyscraper ahead...

clarksn 04.09.13 9:08am
Obama gives Americans a geography lesson: 'Syria is not Iraq or Afghanistan.'

President Obama yesterday started giving Americans geography lessons in his weekly address to the nation, presumably because they don't know or care where any other country is. 'Syria is not Iran,'...

John Wiltshire 04.09.13 8:44am
John Wiltshire
Woodman Called In To Axe Up Tense Beech

NEAT-O Following a localised forest fire, Beech trees have been found to be feeling stressed, causing limbs to drop unexpectedly from otherwise healthy trees. In order to avoid passers-by being...

Flugelbinder 04.09.13 8:15am
Ford targets gender realignment market by relaunching the Tranny Van 0
simonjmr 04.09.13 8:02am
Backbench revolt throws anti-defenestration laws out the window 0
simonjmr 04.09.13 8:00am
70s TV Presenter Escapes Arrest On Sex Abuse Charges

"None of us fancied the ugly, boring pillock" said a woman who was a young teenager at the time. "We all stayed well away from him at all times. He smelled." Police concluded that his boast of...

Titus 04.09.13 7:04am
New entertainment programme for gynaecologists - Through The Peehole 0
Smart Alex 04.09.13 6:54am
Smart Alex
Britain's first trans-gender ex-soldier moslem convert defeats satire 4
Squudge 04.09.13 6:53am
sponge finger
Mystery Solved As Condoms Found In Panda Enclosure

Roman Catholic Church condemns sinful pandas for 'Obviously using contraception'...

Titus 04.09.13 6:51am
Council close snake themed seaside attraction as they 'axe serpents beech'.

Neat-O. Good grief I'm ashamed...

J Vine 04.09.13 6:45am
Newphew Explores All Of Private Island Except Aunt's Beach 0
Titus 04.09.13 6:38am
Confusion as pizza lovers arrive in Gloucestershire searching for Badger Calzone 0
The Last Detail 04.09.13 6:02am
The Last Detail
NewsCorp Journalist of the Year's acceptance speech muffled by pillow 3
Arthur 04.09.13 2:27am
Obama can haz cheezeburger... and french fries 2
GrumpyCat 03.09.13 10:20pm
Birmingham constructs its own Internet

In a week full of high-tech mergers between software and hardware giants, this proud metropolitan city has launched its own answer to the internet. Rather than investing in a broad array of...

Wrenfoe 03.09.13 9:09pm
Evolve or die, new IT marketing guru for World Wildlife Fund tells pandas

Darren Young, the controversial new marketing guru for the World Wildlife Fund, has told earth's disappearing species that they need to raise their game, or face oblivion. Speaking at the WWF's...

ronseal 03.09.13 9:07pm
Lloyds and TSB in good bank/bad bank split. But which is which? 0
deskpilot3 03.09.13 7:53pm
Welshman with head injury wakes up and speaks perfect Welsh

Neuroscientists at St. Mary’s Hospital Paddington were astounded yesterday when Cardiff bricklayer Gareth Williams finally regained consciousness after a terrible head-kicking last weekend, and...

Landfill 03.09.13 7:05pm
Commons disagree with Dave over Syria, yet in 2003 they did accept Tone's speech 2
Smart Alex 03.09.13 7:04pm
Smart Alex
Stranded Edinburgh Pilot Whale Dies Waiting For Tram 0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 03.09.13 6:46pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Disgruntled Dec says he can cope with most things

Neat-o finish it off yourselves...

beau-jolly 03.09.13 6:40pm
Congress warned - all the 'cool war names' will be taken

President Obama has cautioned that further delays on Syrian intervention will seriously restrict the Pentagon's choice of 'military monikers'. Unscrupulous 'patent trolls' have already reserved the...

Wrenfoe 03.09.13 5:55pm
Obama to consider each and every online comment before striking Syria 0
Dumbnews 03.09.13 5:40pm
Home Office planning "nostalgic Seventies-themed prison" for Yewtree celebrities 0
sydalg 03.09.13 5:04pm