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Report on alternatives to the contraceptive pill withdrawn at the last second 0
JohnA 4 years
Lack of ideas blamed on light bulb ban 2
beau-jolly 4 years

Well that's my excuse today...

Queen discovered on dating website 0
Masterhard 4 years

The Queen has been caught online dating after shocked fellow lonely hearts discovered that ‘Lizzy21’ (with the tagline ‘Up for a royal bender‘) was in fact Her Royal Highness. Users of the...

Irish traveller refuses to be evicted from Big Brother house. 0
rebel not taken 4 years

Irish traveller Paddy Doherty will soon to be told he has "30 minutes to pack his bags and leave the Celebrity Big Brother house." But the star of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding claims he has nowhere to...

Usain Bolt "cannot be stopped" 1
bonjonelson 4 years

Usain Bolt has continued to court controversy at the World Athletic Championships in Daegu at the 200 meters race after seemingly being unable to stop running at the finishing line. Bolt had...

Dog shit found in Rolf Harris packing cases ‘not covered by insurance’ say Churc 0
Gerontius 4 years

Do you know what it is yet..Oh yes...

Redundant soldiers and RAF pilots to form A-Team franchises all over the UK 3
Ian Searle 4 years

Ten days ago, crack military specialists were made redundant by an inept government for crimes they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from maximum security job centres to the London...

Apollo 18 2
Susan 4 years

theres a reason weve never gone back to the moon.we left Joan Bloggs there., Cert 18 coming to a cinema near you soon...

Cannabis in Brownies not as effective as Rohypnol in cubs claims scout leader 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Middle classes horrified as report claims Victoria Wood not omnipotent 0
ronseal 4 years

Not everything Victoria Wood does is brilliant, says a shocking new report that the government is trying to ban. If the report hits the national psyche, it cold have a devastating effect on morale,...

Bolt wins 200m, Rawlplug wins Javelin 0
virtuallywill 4 years

more later...

UEFA Penalises Bulgarian FA After Crowd Direct Beluga Noises at White Players 0
mugwump 4 years
Saline contamination case, “just rubbing salt into the wound.” 0
beau-jolly 4 years
Fatality at steam fair following extractor fan joke. 0
beau-jolly 4 years

I'll get me oily overalls...

Frankie Boyle sent to Libya as Scotland's Goodwill Ambassador. More Soon. 1
Al OPecia 4 years
Kate Moss admits her career is wearing a bit thin 1
Qoxiivi 4 years
Woolly rhino “still a bit vague” 1
beau-jolly 4 years
Outrage! Radio 4's Any Questions is being chaired this week by a woman... 1
Awkward Facts 4 years

whose surname isn't Dimbleby. Surely some sort of copyright infringement...

Apple employee loses mind in bar. Will have to use iPod Nano instead. 0
Ostsee 4 years
E4 To Employ Schedulers After Canceling Friends 0
thesplodge 4 years

Other ideas on this - which one is best? E4 schedulers get off arses and finally begin work after 17 years! E4 buys all exclusive rights to air constant How I Met Your Mother 2011 Census confirms...

Daily Mail to be fitted with bile overflow, directly into Thames. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Nick Clegg throws hat in ring as next Libyan President. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Research shows typing opinions into a website makes them facts 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Nicorette to launch mentholated patches. 1
nickb 4 years
NASA Plan To Tackle Space Junk with Jet Propelled Giant Mexican Woman Robot 1
thisisall1word 4 years
September to be two months earlier in a radical shake up of the year 0
simonjmr 4 years

Whitehall And Met Office Mandarins have today announced that in a move to ensure "good" weather during the summer months, that April and September will moved. April will now take the place of June...

Michael Gove's old teachers gang up to kick the shit out of him. 0
antharrison 4 years
Ned Kelly definitely dead say scientists 4
Gerontius 4 years

The remains of Australian outlaw Ned Kelly removed recently from an unmarked grave have been positively identified by researchers using the latest DNA technology, 130 years after he was hanged for...

Jimmy Carr's "Laughter Therapy Tour" cures audiences all over the UK 1
JohnA 4 years
Liz Hurley wins bet for turning fat Aussie into suave twat 0
grottymonty 4 years

more beige slacks later...