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Diagnosis : HMV negative.

Probably no more soon...

MADJEZ 13.12.12 10:17pm
African Newspapers taken in by Nick Clegg Deputy PM hoax

Several online newspapers in Africa have carried stories from satirical website Newsbiscuit reporting that Prime Minister David Cameron is aided in government by a deputy named Nick Clegg. The...

TerribleTim 13.12.12 9:58pm
Man breaks all his teeth in ‘bronze turkey’ confusion. 0
malgor 13.12.12 8:50pm
Turkey commandos steal Bernard Matthews' ashes in daring raid

A small rafter of specially trained turkeys from the 'crack' 1st Norfolk Division has completed a daring pre-Christmas attack on the former home of Bernard Matthews, and have stolen his cremated...

antharrison 13.12.12 8:31pm
custard cream
Newspapers campaign for "Savile's Law" - Identify all Celebrities in your area

Newspapers were today campaigning for a "Savile's Law" to be introduced in a bid for parents to be aware of al Celebrities that live in their area. A mother said "If there's a celebrity living near...

toastnotghosts 13.12.12 8:25pm
Popular satirical news website keeps crashing due to faulty comic relief valve

Hopefully no more soon Neato...

Psycadelic Squirrel 13.12.12 8:12pm
Pubs to adopt new ‘England flag’ classification...

Real ale aficionados turn to the pages of the [i]Good Beer Guide[/i]. But how can you tell what sort of ambience you’ll find in a pub you haven’t visited before? Well, wonder no more. The...

Tripod 13.12.12 7:24pm
custard cream
Fracking reduces Blackpool to rubble thus improving local house prices 2
custard cream 13.12.12 7:21pm
Yellowists devestated

Yellowists throughout the world are in mourning today, after their leader was sentenced to two years in prison for misunderstanding Wittgenstein and ruining someone else's stuff. Vladimir Ubanets,...

barrowboy 13.12.12 7:09pm
Torture instrument makers report record Xmas profits after '50 Shades Effect'

British military implements-of-torture manufacturer for over 450 years, Screech & Matlock, who saw a crippling drop in sales when lucrative government contracts with Egypt, Libya and the USA were...

pinxit 13.12.12 5:25pm
UK Govt.sets decorating expenses record by paying £2.2m rendition claim

more soon

custard cream 13.12.12 5:24pm
Dawn French arrested in Operation Rowntree 0
antharrison 13.12.12 5:21pm
I wish it wasn’t Christmas every day, admits Wizzard

Rajinder Laxmai, a bullock cart driver from the slums of Goregaon, northern Mumbai, has announced plans to build up his brand recognition in order to win market share. This will be the heart of his...

Alan Sundry 13.12.12 5:19pm
Villagers looking forward to eating ethical Xmas goat

Villagers from the tiny community of Ruritania in Eastern Europe say they can’t wait to eat the goat donated as an ethical Christmas gift by the Spencer family from Sittingbourne. “Every...

Darkbill 2.0 13.12.12 4:56pm
Cartoon characters caught up in Operation Yewtree

NEAT-O, A 58 year old former cartoon character from Dundee is to appear in court on Monday charged with operating a brothel and living off the earnings of prostitution., Jasmine Le Ferret, once...

Gerontius 13.12.12 4:56pm
The All New Jeni B
Indian bullock cart driver to invest more in personal brand equity

Bharat Maheshwari, a bullock cart driver from the slum region of Bandra Kurla to the north of central Mumbai, has announced plans to build up his brand recognition in order to win market share. This...

Oxbridge 13.12.12 1:34pm
custard cream
Indian bullock cart driver to invest more in personal brand equity

Roy Wood, lead singer of the 1970s glam rock band Wizzard, has apologised for his role in ensuring that is now Christmas every day. Today, 38 years to the week since Wizzard hit Number Two in the...

Alan Sundry 13.12.12 1:07pm
Savile Video Sales Sluggish

"We can't give 'em away," says Super Screen video shop manager Len Gumley as he contemplates shelves stacked with copies of Jimmy Savile's Christmas Kids Spectacular. "The Best of Jim'll Fix It...

Drylaw 13.12.12 12:23pm
Heroin addicts to retrain as acupuncturists

The Health Secretary has announced today that heroin addicts and ex-heroin addicts will be offered the availability to retrain as acupuncturists due to their extensive experience with needles. Plans...

simonjmr 13.12.12 12:04pm
Police helicopters detect ‘little white men’

West Midlands Police has reported several sightings of little white men during night time helicopter patrols across the region. The figures have been seen jumping over back garden fences or hiding...

Dick Everyman 13.12.12 10:28am
Dick Everyman
Coastguards left "confused and disillusioned" by move to Birmingham

Maritime rescue heros are reportedly upset and disillusioned by the closure of shore-based facilities - especially those who have been reposted to the new coastguard facility in Perry Barr,...

Boutros 13.12.12 10:21am
Dick Everyman
Ministers defend decision on fracking as 'A therapeutic enema for Mother Earth' 3
pinxit 13.12.12 9:40am
Dick Everyman
In bid to restore student vote, Lib Dems release video game for Christmas...

pinxit 13.12.12 9:28am
How Come, Santa Dishes Out The Prezzies....

Then gets the sack?, It's not bleeding obvious to me...

Jesse Bigg 13.12.12 9:27am
Media discover 'fracking' sounds a bit rude

The UK media suddnely became interested in the controversial drilling technique of hydraulic fracturing when they realised collectively that the more common name for the technique - fracking - sounds...

johnnydobbo 13.12.12 9:26am
Indian bullock cart driver invests in brand equity

Rajinder Laxmai, a bullock cart driver from the slums of Goregaon, northern Mumbai, has announced plans to build up his brand recognition in order to win market share. This will be the heart of his...

Oxbridge 13.12.12 9:00am
Sign of the times?

And we all thought that it was necessity that spawned invention? Maybe it should be austerity The number of people changing their names by deed poll is up 500% on 2011, which was itself a record...

D161TAL 13.12.12 8:44am
Folk scene hails Jeth Barley, and instrument made from own lung

England's blossoming folk scene is hailing a new hero, who has revolutionised traditional music by making an instrument from his own vital organs. Jeth Barley And His Musical Lung is selling out cow...

13.12.12 7:31am
Fed Up Of Christmas's In December?

Then join the "Swap With An Ozzie Club" mate!...

Jesse Bigg 13.12.12 7:09am
Dickens or Shakespeare
No 'MANdate for gay marriage' claim

no more soon...

custard cream 13.12.12 6:15am