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Ernest Saunders' Doctor confident Margaret Moran will now make a full recovery

more later. One for the oldies perhaps...

dvo4fun 14.12.12 7:26pm
custard cream
McKinnon 'health grounds' revealed to be hacking cough 2
Squudge 14.12.12 7:25pm
custard cream
J.K. Rowling decapitates Suzanne Collins, saves world from darkness

Esteemed British author J.K. Rowling fought and killed fellow author Suzanne Collins last week in a crowded Boston train station, marking the end of a centuries-old battle between the two immortal...

MikeyMike 14.12.12 7:22pm
Baby-Boomers relieved: "No longer need to pretend' to like Sitar music 1
dvo4fun 14.12.12 6:58pm
English Christmas Markets take Germany by storm

Towns across Germany have reported record numbers of people deserting their traditional Christmas Markets in favour of newer imports from England. 'We were all getting bored of gingerbread, wooden...

SuburbanDad 14.12.12 6:39pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Gary McKinnon celebrates dropping of charges by hacking into the Pentagon... 0
Tripod 14.12.12 4:59pm
Conjoined panto star asks, "Children - have you seen my long-lost Siamese twin?"

(All together now) He's behind you!...

Smart Alex 14.12.12 4:34pm
Smart Alex
Obituary : Jock Beck the UK's leading drug abuse model

Jock Beck died yesterday morning, suddenly in a pile of vomit and a heroin induced coma. For the last 40 years Jock Beck was the UK's foremost drug abuse model, working for the BBC, ITN, SKY News,...

simonjmr 14.12.12 4:17pm
Footballer sacked for 'only giving 100%'

In what many are calling a landmark case, former Chelsea star Ivan Shirkov has lost his FA appeal against his sacking earlier this month. Appeal Chairman, Lord Jenkins explained, "This was a complex...

custard cream 14.12.12 3:49pm
Coroner: 'inability to open milk cartons' link to Tetra Pak heiress death


custard cream 14.12.12 3:35pm
custard cream
EC hands Serbia one fixture ban and small fine for starting World War 1

After assassinating ArchDuke Ferdinand, Serbian officials have admitted they were quietly pleased with the lenient sentence handed out by the EC for their role in what observers dubbed The Great War....

ronseal 14.12.12 3:33pm
Anne Hathaway 'devastated' as she inadvertently exposes her box


medici2471 14.12.12 3:31pm
Barcode inventor dies aged 'thin,fat, thin, thin, very thin, medium, fat...."

That's 91 to you and me...

custard cream 14.12.12 3:28pm
Arms maker says '50 Shades' responsible for huge profit spurt

A British military equipment manufacturer has reported a 'stunning upturn and spurt' in the run up to Christmas, thanks to the book '50 Shades of Grey'. Screech & Matlock Ltd, who have made...

pinxit 14.12.12 2:26pm
Watch your back Harry..

The recent blossoming relationship between Harry Styles and Taylor Swift has been likened to John Lennon and Yoko Ono. He's in a band, she threatens to break up the band. I'm looking forward to the...

Sheepback 14.12.12 1:58pm
Dick Everyman
Relocation of NewsBiscuit website to Isle of Wight 'Successful'

Management of the website are said to be 'Delighted' that its relocation to the Isle of Wight has 'Gone as smoothly as expected' and that 'The Isle has never seen such a reliable and...

antharrison 14.12.12 12:42pm
retrospective Turing pardon imminent but witch convictions to stand 2
cinquecento 14.12.12 12:37pm
New cycle helmet vital to Le Tour Yorkshire debut

Designers at Leeds Metropolitan University have revealed their secret weapon in the region's successful bid for the 2014 Tour de France Grand Depart. "It's a revolutionary new cycle helmet in the...

custard cream 14.12.12 12:23pm
Dick Everyman
Apple retro fits old iPads with 'cataract display' to encourage users to switch 2
custard cream 14.12.12 11:50am
Film about small man controlled by wizard tops charts. See "The Cleggit" today.

I'll get my coat...

Gaz 14.12.12 11:46am
custard cream
World’s last ‘Trimphone impersonator’ dies, aged 97

Jim Hughes, the last person known to be able to accurately impersonate a 1970s Trimphone, has died at a nursing home in Cheshunt. ‘It was a big part of his life,’ said Jim’s nephew, Philip...

DustyBinLaden 14.12.12 11:33am
Drunk office workers 'a real hit' at corporate entertainers' Xmas party

The first Christmas party solely for the singers and entertainers that make a living performing in tribute acts for corporate parties and balls was declared a "resounding success" by organisers, as...

Re Pete 14.12.12 10:02am
Re Pete
New blow to Scottish Independence as EU invoke "no gingers" rule

Alex Salmond has yet to react to a new setback for his campaign for Scottish Independence. The EU has already made it clear that Scotland would have to reapply for membership, but now an obscure "no...

apepper 14.12.12 9:31am
Ricky ‘Hitman’ Hatton to take up top-flight test cricket

Ricky Hatton has astounded the sporting world today with his decision to become a world class cricketer in under four months. The former boxer says his surprise switch to International Test Cricket...

Gary Stanton 14.12.12 8:57am
Gary Stanton
West Bank Caravan Club looking forward to annual rally 0
cinquecento 14.12.12 8:38am
NHS to move all missed appointments to Mondays. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 14.12.12 7:48am
Al OPecia
Angel Garcia top of the tree

Team Molina have secured the services of top trainer Angel Garcia – father of WBC strap holder Danny Garcia - ahead of Saturday's festive feud. Although Garcia appears to be in the corner only as...

won hung lo 14.12.12 7:30am
Ed Milliband quits as people with irritating accents banned from public office. 0
PeterB 14.12.12 7:06am
Disillusioned teen wakes up to the ugly side of vampirism

Thoughts of eternal bliss in the company of vampire heart-throb Robert Pattinson and the ethereal Kristen Stewart swam through her head when 16 year old Trudy Bellamy took her vampire oath at the...

Dick Everyman 14.12.12 12:28am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Poetic tribute to Norman Joseph Woodland doesn't scan 2
Idiot 14.12.12 12:19am