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Wayne Rooney paints mural of forklift truck driver on the front of his house. 1
Ian Searle 3 years

The picture is of warehouse worker Kelvin Symes, known affectionately as ‘Fuck wit’ to his friends. Wayne says, “The boys have got a particularly difficult stock take over the next few weeks,...

Apple calls news conference for Friday about iPhones. Sadly, there was no signal 0
Ostsee 3 years

I once had a Siemens phone. Strange thing, it worked...

All hell breaks loose on M4 when driver hits "shuffle" button on iNav GPS. 0
Tristan Shout 3 years

Newport, Reading, Chippenham, Bristol, Swindon, Cardiff, Slough...

Apple iCon gives us all something to look up to 0
hero2zero 3 years
Queues build on Oxford St. in anticipation of Apples release of "iRecall" 0
Neilpr 3 years

Although pricing has yet to be finalised, many devout iPhone4 owners are already forming orderly queues within sleeping distance of Apple stores throughout the world., Press speculation has sparked...

Russian Spy loses UK Citizenship, finds herself in Moscow circa 1991 0
ironbridgeboy 3 years

These computer things will never take off...

ITV to re-brand as the CBB to make new recruits more comfortable 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Blair's autobiography changed from The Journey to Tanning for Millionaires 0
Non-U 3 years

There has been a huge wave of disappointment at the news that the former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has failed to deliver the messianic tome which the entire world had been waiting for. "I am...

Shepherd training school takes plunge with inflatable sheep 0
QorbeQ 3 years

Following several widely reported 'friendly fire' incidents involving live sheep, the UK's premier shepherding college based in Buxton in Derbyshire has announced that they are making plans to use...

Niqabbook website installs panic button as Nicolas Sarkozy signs up. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years
New NHS finance initiative sees 1st alzheimers clinic sponsored by 0
wallster 3 years
Butchered, ravaged and emaciated arts early favourite for 2011 Turner Prize 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Returned ‘kidnapped and brain-washed’ Iranian offers advice to Lib Dem MPs 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Police Review magazine launches police jobs Facebook tribute site 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Jane Asher's Best Ever Brownie Recipe! 9
Doctor Moptop 3 years

Jane Asher, the cake-tastic ex of Beatle Paul McCartney, has won top prize in a 'bake off' sponsored by Bero. Celebrities were invited to submit recipes which were then tested and tasted by Women's...

Facebook condemned for allowing tribute page to Tony Blair 0
Ludicity 3 years
Badger cull abandoned following legal challenge from Ratty and Mole 0
Ludicity 3 years
Coma victim who blinked to communicate 'had something in his eye', say doctors 0
Ludicity 3 years
Geoff Capes concerned about Emergency Budgie Cuts 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Self-proclaimed "Office Joker" starts working week in socks labelled "Tuesday" 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

"Im a bit mad, me"...

UK to leave EU and be re-named "Philistia". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
BBC viewers assured 'Ross will not be missed' after firing squad drafted in. 1
MightyBlair 3 years

More at noon...

Guardian reporter follows trail of make-up to find rouge Afghan soldier 4
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Stephen Fry seperates from partner, blames the dogging days hot summer 0
arrghgarry 3 years

and an impatient queue on Hampstead heath ...

Apple Unveils the iBabel 42 Yellow 0
hero2zero 3 years

The latest micro-in-ear multi-lingual translator, the answer to the universe & everything. A member of the research and development team said,, "It has proved to be incredibly intuitive, when...

Accountants to be given responsibility for doing operations in NHS cutbacks 1
ED209 3 years

The health secretary today announced that instead of GPs doing management tasks for which they're entirely untrained, it will in fact be cheaper to hand out scalpels and powerful drugs to accountants...

XREP laser guided Tasers to be renamed "Moats and Beams" 0
Iscariot 3 years
BBC presenters to claim benefit when Breakfast Show moves to Salford 0
ramblesnake 3 years

Viewers are advised not to be a horrid snitch, if they jolly well know what would the best for themselves. The time is 9 o' clock Greenwich, meantime here is the news...

Duck tape the only fix for iPhone 4 problems, says Consumer mag; shares tank 2
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years

.lots more, soon enough...

New game launched for folks with a cold who still get to work:- 0
Mr.3374 3 years

Catarrh Hero., Max strength add-on available in February...