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Dawkins backs down as Archbishop of Canterbury says "Come outside and say that" 0
sydalg 22.04.13 4:53pm
Hunt: If clever is so good, how come teachers and nurses don’t rule the UK?

Following a specially convened meeting, Cabinet Ministers have issued a 'witty comeback' as a response to nursing and teaching unions who branded planned reforms 'stupid'. Intended to demoralise the...

monkeyrepublic 22.04.13 3:21pm
Lecherous mathmatician opens Möbius strip club. 0
sredni vashta 22.04.13 3:15pm
sredni vashta
Hallmark of a great striker is he's always hungry, says agent for Luis Suarez 2
ronseal 22.04.13 3:13pm
sredni vashta
Dawkins’ self-destructive gene

Britain’s leading rationalist, Richard Dawkins, has claimed that a rogue element in his own genome is hell-bent on self destruction and has hijacked his Twitter feed to achieve its evil aims....

monkeyrepublic 22.04.13 3:02pm
Vicky Pryce persuades Carina Trimingham to wear her electronic tag 0
Sinnick 22.04.13 12:57pm

Silicon Valley - Apple, the world's largest company, have repackadged and renamed a fistfull of products in an attempt to boost it's stagnant market in New Zealand. Steve Wozniak,Co-founder of...

Chris Stacey 22.04.13 12:40pm
Chris Stacey
Trying to access porn sites was not legitimate test of company’s IT system

A man had his claim for wrongful dismissal thrown out after he admitted attempting to get into pornographic websites at work. At his tribunal, Mr Neville Smart explained that he’d had the...

Midfield Diamond 22.04.13 12:24pm
Midfield Diamond
FA Cup Final Moved To Mars

The final of this year’s FA Cup Final will now be played some 225 million km’s away from its spiritual home on Earth to the red planet known as Mars. Some football fans have claimed this is a...

Hooch 22.04.13 12:24pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Reece Witherspoon "praises" racial and minority groups in drunken rant to cops 0
thackaray 22.04.13 11:58am
Suarez admits he wouldn't be surprised to be given the elbow 0
Smart Alex 22.04.13 11:41am
Smart Alex
Cadburys unveiled as the new sponsor for the London Snickers 5
Ironduke 22.04.13 11:33am
Chelsea players decline Suarez offer of conciliatory blow jobs. 1
A.A.Arkwright 22.04.13 11:19am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Inept Scaffolders Forced Into Embarrassing Climbdown. 0
sredni vashta 22.04.13 11:09am
sredni vashta
Panto star accused of feeling Grumpy. 0
sredni vashta 22.04.13 11:05am
sredni vashta
Model Village, in race scandal after refusing Naomi Campbell admittance

We're discerning not racist claims head of Model Village. More soon...

simonjmr 22.04.13 10:59am
'I told Suarez to be a handful not a mouthful', says Liverpool manager Rodgers 0
custard cream 22.04.13 10:39am
custard cream
Suarez, It was my tribute to the Uruguayian Rugby team that crashed in the Andes

Man Alive!...

Scronnyglonkle 22.04.13 10:38am
custard cream
Liverpool FC "in Uraguay the bite is seen as culturally acceptable..." 0
Backup Brian 22.04.13 10:31am
Backup Brian
Olympus Has Fallen sequel announced: 'Samsung Has Risen' 0
custard cream 22.04.13 10:30am
custard cream
Pandas' Abstention From Sexual Activity Due To Fear Of Yewtree Exposure 1
Titus 22.04.13 9:27am
Kim Jong Eun waiting to find out who the Broadchurch murderer is before attack 0
Ian Searle 22.04.13 9:20am
Ian Searle
Broadchurch described as 'disappointing' after murderer revealed as the Daleks 0
Ian Searle 22.04.13 9:15am
Ian Searle
On the Origin of Raisins

Recent DNA testing into the nutritional benefits of raisins has led to the discovery of some startling information regarding the dried fruits origin. For many years raisins were thought to be dried...

bobby5fingers 22.04.13 9:07am
Dick Everyman
Humour Is An Integral Part Of Calculus Say Maths Teachers 0
Titus 22.04.13 7:34am
Edinburgh Zoo staff say Yang Guang Thank you mam on Panda's behalf

More artificial news later...

victimms 22.04.13 7:34am
Footballer Suffers Food Poisoning During Match

Biting satire or another bad taste joke?...

Titus 22.04.13 7:31am
Maths teacher confuses students by not differentiating between calculus methods 2
DorsetBoy 22.04.13 7:22am
ChildLine kidnap crisis deepens as parents refuse to pay the Rantzen

More highly contrived one-liners soon...

Smart Alex 22.04.13 7:01am
Smart Alex
Suarez to be provided with Pizza delivery phone number 0
Sinnick 22.04.13 6:47am