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Bashar Al-Assad advises army: "Top up your tanks"

More bombardment soon...

0
ianrbland 29.03.12 8:58am
ianrbland
Greggs admits supplies have run dry after politicians panic buy pasties 3
ronseal 29.03.12 8:34am
ronseal
Simon update

A spoke person for Simon Cowell said all is back to normal after finding out that the intruder that broke into Simon’s bedroom didn’t steal any hair spray...

0
waggy 29.03.12 8:28am
waggy
Stuart Lancaster named as next England rugby coach to be sacked 0
medici2471 29.03.12 8:24am
medici2471
Greggs new ACAS snack range. Can be sold after a suitable cooling off period

another variant...

0
weematt 29.03.12 8:15am
weematt
Health Minister defends Pasty Tax." Cold pasties have a 20% lower VAT content." 0
weematt 29.03.12 7:52am
weematt
Government, Media charged with 'Anti-Roguism'

With another senseless massacre in Afghanistan being blamed on a “rogue soldier”, the rogue community has stepped up its campaign against the vilification of rogues, staging a protest march from...

3
Golgo13 29.03.12 7:48am
Golgo13
Greggs - Osborne Pasty dispute. Cooling off period agreed. 0
weematt 29.03.12 7:42am
weematt
Hey..

Does anybody remember the name of that guy that wrote the book 'How to never forget another name or face again!'?...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 7:38am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Maude clarifies "..keep fuel in Jerry CARS in your garage; I've a Porsche & BMW"

more later...

2
dvo4fun 29.03.12 7:35am
Perks
Osborne to introduce hot weather tax

starting 1st November...

0
Tomfinger 29.03.12 7:22am
Tomfinger
Confused Pope criticises US Lambada on Cuba

But was quite impressed with Salsa...

0
Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 7:21am
Scronnyglonkle
Albino's fear new government Pasty face tax

A spokesman blushed at the mention of the tax...

0
Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 7:02am
Scronnyglonkle
Drunken Tory Minister tells drivers "Store your Petrol & Diesel in a Jeroboem"

Majestick reports queues...

0
Scronnyglonkle 29.03.12 6:57am
Scronnyglonkle
Government advice for accident witnesses; "crowd around, plenty to see"

The government has changed it's advice for accident witnesses. "Have a good look, there's lots to look at. Why not get on your mobile and call your mates round to get a real crowd going."...

0
apepper 29.03.12 6:50am
apepper
How to drive men crazy in bed!

See thread below...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 5:18am
Theodore Sprangshaft
How to drive women crazy in bed!

Fart, snore and grind your teeth...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 5:17am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Want to hang out with beautiful young ladies..

travel the world and party in the very best 5 star hotels whilst being paid a boat load then the IMF is waiting for you!...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 4:53am
Theodore Sprangshaft
If Only IKEA made nuclear missiles..

then we could offer North Korea an alternative to testing.provide them with an 'off the shelf' solution tried and tested? It would be shipped flat-pack with assembly instructions in Turkish and by...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 29.03.12 4:39am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Vettel's Dreams Of F1 Glory Dashed After Locking Himself Out Of Car

Germany's Sebastian Vettel saw his aspirations to be the youngest ever winner of three consecutive World Championships go down in flames when he locked himself out of his car on the starting grid....

9
Textbook 29.03.12 3:05am
Textbook
Fueling financial hiccups is a piece of pastry.

In a bid to lighten the dark cloud sitting over the March budget Prime Minister Dr David Macaroon decided that an early April Fuels joke was in order. Sick and tired of hearing complaints about the...

0
kondorish 29.03.12 12:25am
kondorish
Face Transplant donor is unknown UK politician

Impossible to tell which as they all still seem to have at least two. More later...

0
RickH 28.03.12 11:40pm
RickH
Nick Clegg to be hit hard by new Patsy Tax 3
Ludicity 28.03.12 10:47pm
deskpilot3
Whose Heart Was Transplanted Into Dick 'Darth Vader' Cheney's Chest Anyway?

News information services have informed us that former President-Of-Vice Dick Cheney has had a heart transplant. The former Halliburton head man had to wait almost two years to get his new ticker...

0
28.03.12 10:46pm
COBRA meeting on fuel strike

On emerging from the COBRA meeting today, David Cameron said. "While it was unsafe & even illegal for people to hoard fuel at home, they could always do what he & the cabinet had done. Buy...

0
mikesmifff 28.03.12 10:11pm
mikesmifff
Big Business advises Cameron to top up their coffers

Big business advises Cameron to top up their coffers...

0
Mr Normal 28.03.12 9:33pm
Mr Normal
Osborne to combine VAT on hot food with increase in postal rates

to be called Pasty Parcel Tax...

0
Tomfinger 28.03.12 8:37pm
Tomfinger
Pope urges Cubans to search for non-existent deity 0
Mandy Lifeboat 28.03.12 8:28pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Cameron advises big business to top up Tory Party coffers 0
Mandy Lifeboat 28.03.12 8:16pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Britain's Got Talent Hopeful to Invent Sob Story In Bid to Win Public Votes

Peter Blyth, a moderately talented pub singer from Aylesbury has engaged a top PR Consultant to aid his audition on ITVs Britain's Got Talent., "My problem is, I had a very happy childhood, was...

1
deluca 28.03.12 8:08pm