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Chilean miners believe rescuers are 'just winding them up'. More soon. 1
malgor 3 years
Cable removes cap on the number of principles he is prepared to abandon 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Devil agrees to trial community sentences 1
ianslat 3 years

Prince of Darkness The Devil has today confirmed that he will consider imposing non-custodial sentences for dead sinners as an alternative to eternal damnation in Hell. The announcement comes...

Stable hand pleads guilty to three counts of grooming. 2
Mary 3 years

A stable hand has been accused of three counts of grooming at Manchester Crown Court yesterday. Terence Malloy, a 48 year old bachelor from Winsford in Cheshire described in graphic detail how he had...

Rescue shaft sealed as celebrations for 32 miners gets underway 0
Nobby Holder 3 years
Chilean desert ordeal ends as journalists are winched to safety 0
Oxbridge 3 years

It was the miracle the watching world had scarcely dared dream about. But finally, yesterday, a ghastly ordeal came to an end as a group of 68 stranded journalists were airlifted away from their...

Family sells least intelligent child for sibling's university fees. More soon 0
Moggsy 3 years
Vatican braced for fresh scandal on news of minors escaping crypt 0
TerribleTim 3 years
Trapped miners ask rescuers to send down more pit ponies as theirs are full. 0
wallster 3 years

More, while U wait...

Entire Chilean labour force rescued from Pinochet-era labour laws 1
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years

Union rights and collective bargaining restored as the world celebrates. U.S. Ambassador to address Reconciliation Assembly about back pay and holiday entitlements...

(REPOST) Chilean miners told to send the gold up first. 11
MADJEZ 3 years

An accountant for the Chilean mining company said ‘33 miners at 12 hrs a shift for 67 days, we’re expecting a bumper load of gold & copper. It’ll take at least a week to get it all up here....

Courteney Cox upset that her estranged husband , David Arquette has a fling 0
arrghgarry 3 years

with bar maid , David Arquette reminds her that they were on a break...

Gay Chilean miner refuses to "come out". 2
Nick McCarr 3 years

(edited to make more gooderer)...

Businessman chokes on Miss Adventure 0
Kazytc 3 years

In the pursuit of a retirement thrill, a businessman from Ashcloud, Derbyshire UK, has been reduced to ashes.. Lionel Whipster aged 61, died when his S & M collar strangled him, whilst he was...

Cliff fall man's 'HELP!' may have been a cry for help, inquest hears. More soon 5
malgor 3 years
Injunction threat for actor who plays Top Gear character the Clarkson 5
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

John Potter, the ex Army tank commander recently outed as the man who plays The Clarkson character in BBC's show Top Gear, has been threatened with an injunction by the BBC. The show's bosses are...

Tesco to introduce Shopping Proficiency test for the elderly 1
Moggsy 3 years

Supermarket giant Tescos is to only allow old people to shop at peak times once they have proved their ability to negotiate it's stores without irritating the hell out of other shoppers it has been...

Gap admit that changing logo to a swastika was "probably a mistake" 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[More Soon]...

"I see Dead Wankers!" claims Tourettes Psychic. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

More fucking soon...

Student leader promises tuition fees backlash - if he remembers to set alarm 0
roybland 3 years
Brave Civil Servants Battle the Cut & Thrust in Whitehall 0
TheM3Diaries 3 years

As the National Security Council met today to discuss the Strategic Defence & Security Review Prime Minister David Cameron and senior Security & Defence figures heard a shock revelation. ...

Commonwealth Games have been a 'Resounding success' say Andrex 1
antharrison 3 years
Peer Review called off as most Lords too old to sing and dance 0
Ian Searle 3 years

and none can tell jokes...

Chilean Miners prepare to be "Born again". 0
Rowly 3 years

Midwives on standby to slap their backsides...

Commonwealth Games devalued as brick freefalls into a pool to win gold 3
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Bosses ban masturbation at Barclaycard call centre. 1
therustler 3 years

Senior management at Barclaycard were forced to admit today that they had resorted to banning staff from masturbating whilst on duty in the call centre following a string of complaints from customers...

Dyslexic Wanker tries to claim World Hand Speed Record 0
Rowly 3 years

more later...

Chilean miners tell rescuers to "vete para la verga" 0
Scroat 3 years
Davina arrives in Chile in preparation for eviction night 2
wallster 3 years

Dehy 68 in the Big Broother mine. Pedro coooms to the dahry rhoom. (Sorry, had pub lunch. My spelling's shot to fuck.)...

Status Quo to release "Down Down" in tribute to rescue of the Chilean miners 1
simonjmr 3 years

Jamiroqui also planning rerelease of "Deeper Underground"., The Jam to release "Going Underground", Englebert Humperdink to rerelease "Please release me" More soon...