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LHC team abandons quest for Homeopathic particle after Health and Safety scare

A massive surge of electricity brought Geneva to a halt yesterday as computers and trams crashed. The cause was an emergency shutdown at the nearby Large Hadron Collider, where panicking scientists...

8
Gong of Fur 09.12.11 3:49pm
Des Custard
"Fog In Channel. Continent Isolated," Says Cameron

..The old jokes can still be the best...

0
Jesse Bigg 09.12.11 3:48pm
Jesse Bigg
"Fenton, Jesus Christ Fenton" heralds discovery of Higgs Boson particle 0
simonjmr 09.12.11 2:31pm
simonjmr
Scotland rebuilding after 8 hour Trampoline attack

After a series of up and downs, Scotland is aiming higher! Higher! Wheee...

0
gaijintendo 09.12.11 2:23pm
gaijintendo
Over 50% of zoo animals "unemployed graduates in costume" 0
Drylaw 09.12.11 2:18pm
Drylaw
Investmentment bankers critised for betting against future happiness of own kids 0
thisisall1word 09.12.11 1:50pm
thisisall1word
Exorcism of poison dwarf performed during filming of Noel's christmas Presence 0
Iamthestig 09.12.11 1:45pm
Iamthestig
Prolonged Climate change talks criticised for burning the midnight oil 0
brownpaperreporter 09.12.11 1:39pm
brownpaperreporter
They dont like it up em mr mainwarring.

I prime minister of great britain handed the german and french 4th riech a note to say that we the british government would not give in to there demands for greater financial & monatary union...

2
Q 09.12.11 12:56pm
Zadok the second
Microsoft to bring back the paperclip 0
theumpire 09.12.11 12:22pm
theumpire
Police urge women suspecting intruder in house to run a bath and lie in it 0
Nick McCarr 09.12.11 11:58am
Nick McCarr
Racism and cheating explained to Dalglish after continued defence of Suarez

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish has been having private tuition this week, in an attempt to get him to understand that racist comments and persistent cheating from one of his players are bad things....

2
Vertically Challenged Giant 09.12.11 11:40am
Perks
Croatia orders Farepak Christmas hamper 0
Runestone Cowboy 09.12.11 11:37am
Runestone Cowboy
'London taxi drivers have brains' shock claim by scientists

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=london-taxi-memory...

0
Griffin 09.12.11 10:42am
Griffin
Ask Leo and Lucy: what’s the carbon footprint of a hand job?

[i]The dilemma:[/i] I love the planet, and want to save it for future generations. However, I also enjoy hand jobs from anonymous escorts. Are hand jobs ‘green’, or should I feel guilty about...

2
Runestone Cowboy 09.12.11 10:27am
rickwestwell
'World is flat' declare X-Factor judges

[More soon]...

2
dicky37 09.12.11 10:24am
dicky37
Scottish utilities 'freak winter weather' shock: Driving wind and lashing rain

More soon (no doubt)...

0
dvo4fun 09.12.11 10:23am
dvo4fun
Scottish wind turbine program derailed by ‘wrong sort of wind’. 6
malgor 09.12.11 10:18am
Griffin
Coalition will prioritise the non-taxpayer

The government has announced a policy shift away from meeting the needs of ‘the taxpayer’, a spokesperson announced yesterday. “ "Taxpayer" is a very nebulous concept”, she continued....

1
Zadok the second 09.12.11 10:13am
Griffin
Battle to re-connect 20m UK homes to Europe after storm batters Brussels 1
Duncan Biscuit 09.12.11 10:10am
Griffin
Desperate scientist resorts to hundreds of ‘missing particle’ posters

A scientist desperate to be united with a missing particle has resorted to leaving posters on every lamp-post in his local area. The particle, thought to answer to the name Higgs Boson, has been...

5
Runestone Cowboy 09.12.11 9:56am
charlies_hat
Blow for Edinburgh Zoo after both pandas diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 0
Duncan Biscuit 09.12.11 9:50am
Duncan Biscuit
Cameron out of Europe but still very confident of success in Europa Cup 0
Duncan Biscuit 09.12.11 9:50am
Duncan Biscuit
...Iran TV goes on and on and on about drones. 0
nickb 09.12.11 9:03am
nickb
Tiny pilot held, claims Tehran.... 0
nickb 09.12.11 9:01am
nickb
CIA denies captured drone was from Maplins 0
nickb 09.12.11 8:45am
nickb
US shelves development of pleasure weapon – early trials “too successful”

Needs development - Possible content:, Patented tuned radio frequency orgasmulation technology, US DOD cited concerns that US military would be overstretched with any old Country claiming secret...

0
bumtrinket 09.12.11 8:41am
bumtrinket
Music Industry admits, 'we've run out of songs'

The music industry has today announced that the reason all modern songs sound the same is because essentially, they are. The news comes just days before the X-Factor final, and weeks before the...

8
Perks 08.12.11 11:42pm
FlashArry
Prancer the brown-nosed reindeer is second in line and doesn't stop so fast 0
Smart Alex 08.12.11 11:39pm
Smart Alex
Pendle Hill update : cottage residents grasp of cat-husbandry "appalling" 0
FlashArry 08.12.11 11:24pm
FlashArry