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Wake Me Up To Make Some More Dough

Careless whispers are fanning flames of fear that legendary pop duo Wham is to reform for a one-off gig to celebrate thirty years since their first foray into the pop charts. Something that's sure to...

Duff 20.06.12 8:17am
Day 33 - Giant golden spliff reaches Carlisle 0
Haywood Manley 20.06.12 8:02am
Haywood Manley
Rooney's hair expected to be fit for quarter finals 0
medici2471 20.06.12 7:23am
Austrian village finds Great Wall of China

A new section of the Great Wall of China has been discovered just outside the Austrian village of Hallstatt. Alexander Scheutz, mayor of the World Heritage site announced that a perfect section of...

Gifblaar 20.06.12 7:15am
Theresa May Appeal

Late on Tuesday, I found British Home Secretary Theresa May in the cupboard under my stairs. As a signatory to the United Nations Universal Declaration for Human Rights, with an obligation to review...

papadom2 20.06.12 6:41am
The Masked Frog
Majority of plastic surgeons admit to being "Jack Palance Fans".,,...

Al OPecia 20.06.12 6:37am
Jimmy Carr arrested in "Cash for Jokes" scandal

Tax avoiding comedian Carr was arrested yesterday in a sting that saw 2 undercover policemen pose as Arab sheikhs after rumours the sneaky jokesmith was selling lame one liners to the highest bidder....

The Masked Frog 20.06.12 6:27am
Scottish Parliament considers compulsory free sex

The Scottish Parliament’s proposals to make it an offence to pay for sex have been broadly welcomed. Robbie MacDuff, a former Girvan shipyard worker, expressed his support " I've spent a fortune...

medici2471 20.06.12 6:05am
Scottish Schools To Begin Teaching In English 0
Textbook 20.06.12 2:24am
Woman throws cricket ball, not many killed 1
Oxbridge 19.06.12 10:49pm
England successfully negotiate tricky Euro 2012 ITV part 0
pitflaps 19.06.12 10:35pm
Aung San Suu Kyi “Awestruck” After Meeting Bono

A tearful Aung San Suu Kyi has revealed how moved she was to finally get the chance to meet U2’s frontman, Bono. “It was a truly humbling moment” she said, after a brief audience with his...

Quaz 19.06.12 9:58pm
News where you are less interesting than news where we are 0
nickb 19.06.12 9:32pm
Dutch FA admit boot sponsorship deal with clogmakers "may have been an error"

Following The Netherlands' disappointing exit in the group stages of Euro 2012, a spokesman for the Dutch FA has admitted his players' footwear may have contributed to their abject performances....

grumblechops 19.06.12 9:04pm
Britain and Argentina agree to Falklands War rematch in 2015

After months of shadow boxing, the long awaited Falklands War rematch has been confirmed for 2015 to coincide with general elections in Britain and Argentina. Legendary promoter, Don King, held a...

Yikes 19.06.12 8:21pm
Blanket found at Bletchley Park “may be Turing Shroud” 3
grumblechops 19.06.12 6:14pm
British public have already forgotten who Will.I.Am is

Will.I.Am, founder of the Black Eyed Peas and celebrity dope spoker on BBC TV Show "The Voice" has already been entirely forgotten in the UK, a survey has discovered. The American musician's name...

bonjonelson 19.06.12 5:10pm
Saudi Women’s Beach Volleyball Team Set To Ruin It

The Saudi Women’s Beach Volleyball Team has defied the IOC and will not wear the official uniform of 12 inch heels, crotchless micro-thongs and nipple-baring bikini tops at the Olympics. Instead...

daneade 19.06.12 4:27pm
Chris Hitchcock
University crime league tables show Oxbridge top place to study for City Fraud

A government study today into student crime shows that candidates who graduated from Oxbridge universities have a 95% success rate in Insider Trading, Ponzi Schemes and Bringing down Mediterranean...

Scronnyglonkle 19.06.12 3:42pm
Sekonda and Monsato join forces to create worlds first actual watch dog 0
simonjmr 19.06.12 2:56pm
Russell Grant, Mystic Meg arrested for sorcery in Saudi after plane diverts

Grant: "Didn't see that one coming. Still, won't lose my head over it"...

RickH 19.06.12 2:05pm
'Thumb' model to sue facebook for millions in unpaid royalties

Eric Silvers; the man who’s thumb was the inspiration for the iconic ‘like’ button is embroiled in a legal face-off with facebook., Silvers, who freely admits to being no one's idea of an oil...

Chris Hitchcock 19.06.12 1:05pm
Chris Hitchcock
German fans rehearse "Pay up, not play up" chant for Greece game 0
FlashArry 19.06.12 12:41pm
Fury after CBBC refuses to screen series of ScientologyGerbil

The BBC is embroiled in a major legal action after declining to run the children’s animation show ScientologyGerbil. Commissioners rejected the US-made programme on the basis that it was...

Skylarking 19.06.12 12:39pm
New Microsoft tablet for iPad users who miss system crashes and forced upgrades.

404 error soon...

MADJEZ 19.06.12 11:54am
Embarrassed Wallgreen buys Boots the chemist, only went in for some condoms. 0
MADJEZ 19.06.12 11:50am
Cabbie who took Suu Kyi to London Zoo thought she was a panda. 0
MADJEZ 19.06.12 11:48am
After much to-ing and fro-ing Pendulum announce split 0
Haywood Manley 19.06.12 11:38am
Haywood Manley
School girl's relief as HPV jab given in arm 1
medici2471 19.06.12 11:29am
British Museum to Exhibit Kelly Brook’s Boobs

British Museum officials announced today they had secured a commitment from Kelly Brook to display her boobs alongside the Elgin Marbles and The Rosetta Stone. Hundred’s of thousands are expected...

daneade 19.06.12 10:57am