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Doctors concerned about Miliband's habit of talking out of the side of his mouth 0
Pinhead 4 years

"If he doesn't try to correct this, it may slowly progress right the way round to his arse, if it hasn't already", chortled one plastic surgeon yesterday...

Miliband calls for trouser press review after fruitless visit to Corby 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Researchers find it was actually someone else born at Ringo Starr’s ‘birthplace’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
‘Waiting time at record high’ Kings Fund tells Prince Charles 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
'Gnat's Cock' to be replaced by 'Millipenis' 0
Pinhead 4 years

as new EU rules come into force on UK building sites...

Incestuous Hillbilly Families To Be Chemically Neutered. Paws Now, Maws Soon 0
BewsNiscuit 4 years
'Don't make AV vote personal,' warns adulterer Paddy Ashdown 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

The former soldier and former leader of the rabble of bearded sandal-wearing lefties (and their husbands) known as the Lib Dems, Paddy 'Pantsdown' Ashdown, yesterday warned that the AV vote should...

William confirms his feelings for Kate: 'I'm in love - whatever "in love" means& 1
John Wiltshire 4 years

In an exclusive interview today, given to everyone on Earth, Prince William confirmed his feelings for his bride-to-be., When asked how he felt about her, he admitted he was 'in love', adding...

Violent Easter story "toned down" for kids. 1
404 Not Found 4 years

The Church of England today anounced that due to concern from some parents, a childrens version of the Easter story will be produced, without the violent imagery. The Arch-Bishop of Cantebury today...

Kate In Passover Ancestry Flap 2
rikkor 4 years

Durham historian publishes doctoral thesis "The Jews Wot Went Down To The Mines". Relieved Queen states "at least they weren't Catholics"...

Survey Shows Many think Easter is about a rabbit who came back from the dead 0
Dun Dunkin 4 years

'I'll be back'...

Vatican realises that Jesus rising on the third day actually meant Monday 1
Sinnick 4 years
EU bankers worry about Germany's offer to bail out Austria, Poland and France... 2
deskpilot3 4 years
Lemurs complain to ABTA about Virgin Holidays scam 5
4 years

A group of lemurs has made an official complaint to ABTA, claiming their booking with Virgin Holidays is a 'scam'. "We were really excited when Sir Richard Branson offered us a holiday, but when we...

Government to improve access to Universities... 0
deskpilot3 4 years

by forcing them to accept Nectar points...

Traditional games "find new home in office" 3
dannyboy206 4 years

The depressing news that traditional games such as bulldog and conkers are falling out of favour in schools may not be as bad as it seems. Research has suggested that these activities have simply...

Fossil reveals earliest toothache. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

Three-way IVF to be given "18R" classification. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years
Charles Launches "Charlie's Chippy's" Chain. 4
BewsNiscuit 4 years

Buckingham Palace has announced that Prince Charles is to extend his Royal Duchy brand of up-market merchandise to encompass a countrywide chain of fish and chip shops following the success of a...

Political Correctness finally sectioned under Mental Health Act 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years
Copyright battle: Apple sues Paris Hilton for being thin and pointless 0
4 years
Cabinet lunch crisis as sandwich order is decided by AV. More soon. 19
dominic_mcg 4 years
Gillet sales plummet as Kate gets coat of arms. 1
beau-jolly 4 years

I'll get me sleaveless coat...

WBA to review rules after hedgehog defeats squirrel in 312th round knockout. 1
SingingHinny 4 years
Police raid discovers 1000s of chilled prawn images on fishmonger's laptop. 18
MC One R 4 years
Adders not multiplying 2
beau-jolly 4 years

Scientists in Somerset have been taking DNA samples from adders to try to establish the reason for the declining population. Changes to their natural habitat and man–made barriers to movement are...

Pig to be part of Dick King-Smith's funeral cortege. 4
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Tesco Profits Up on Far East Growth - Following Hormone Trials Controversy 0
BewsNiscuit 4 years
BBC chiefs order 'Watchdog' not to be so damn patronising 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

BBC chiefs have ordered staff on the Watchdog programme not to be so patronising towards viewers, and to start acting as if they cared about ordinary people who aren't on BBC salaries and so can't...

Elton John is still not told if he is needed to play the piano this time 0
Basil_B 4 years

Elton John was still awaiting the Royal Command for his singing and piano playing talents today after he has been persistently enquiring as to whether his services would be required for the upcoming...