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Queen tweets Christmas message 2011

@elizabeth2. Greetings 2 my loyal subjects. Have gorn all trendy this yah innit gr8! lol The corgis say Tweety Christmas. Greek Phil says FU...

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Son of Barnabas 12.12.11 3:17pm
Son of Barnabas
Simon Cowell says "I couldn't give a number 2 who's number one for Christmas..."

"I'll still be making sh*tloads of money!"...

0
Son of Barnabas 12.12.11 2:52pm
Son of Barnabas
Coquettish Higgs Boson glimpse to be announced tomorrow 0
simonjmr 12.12.11 2:23pm
simonjmr
"Oily" Cameron in danger of US invasion

David Cameron's last minute veto of a new Euro treaty has left him exposed to an uninvited hostile invasion by US forces looking to secure new reserves of Oil. More soon...

0
simonjmr 12.12.11 2:21pm
simonjmr
Cash joins Buckley spinning in their graves after Leona Lewis adds new victim

Tennessee earthquaked blamed on Cash Spinning in his grave after Leona Lewis's misguided cover of "Hurt". 10 and 11 December 2011 - the days that music truely died - "Hurt", "Cannonball" and...

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simonjmr 12.12.11 2:14pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Man arrested for importuning claims to be transplant surgeon 0
medici2471 12.12.11 1:44pm
medici2471
Would-be mum shock at faecal transplant error 0
medici2471 12.12.11 1:36pm
medici2471
X-factor audio actually recorded in cat strangling factory admits ITV 0
Screenie 12.12.11 1:13pm
Screenie
Further faecal transplant research reveals 81% of people couldn't give a shit 0
Screenie 12.12.11 1:10pm
Screenie
People who complain about the faked Frozen Planet scene told Get a Life on Earth 0
Ian Searle 12.12.11 1:06pm
Ian Searle
BBC concede that the planet is not actually frozen after all 0
charlies_hat 12.12.11 12:59pm
charlies_hat
'Jurassic Park' in a row over 'fake' scenes shot at film studio.

‘Jurassic Park’ has become embroiled in a row over 'fake' scenes, after it was revealed that parts of the movie were shot in a film studio. Part of the film which showed a man driving a car has...

0
Ian Searle 12.12.11 12:45pm
Ian Searle
Man cured from 10 year constipation is 'overwhelmed by a motion' 0
charlies_hat 12.12.11 12:30pm
charlies_hat
Wonga.com experts to give school children lessons on how to avoid bad debt

Education Secretary Michael Gove today reported on the department’s radical new initiatives to prevent the next generation of debt-ridden youngsters by introducing lessons on fiscal responsibility...

0
kimllfixit 12.12.11 12:29pm
kimllfixit
BBC announces new series of "Coast" to be filmed at Thorpe Park. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 12.12.11 11:59am
Ostsee
Foul tasting Yakult drink mystery ingredient revealed 0
medici2471 12.12.11 11:43am
medici2471
BBC apologies for misleading public saying they have moved to manchester

The BBC issues an apology Some news itesm have given the impression we are or have moved to media city in Manchester. In reality everyone knows that it would be impossible to produce programmes "up...

0
tonyhill 12.12.11 11:39am
tonyhill
Man who vandalised library given long sentence

Librarian lost for words...

1
Major Clanger 12.12.11 11:17am
Al OPecia
Cameron runs from veto talks shouting "me no speaky Englisch"

Any reason to avoid coming up with more lame excuses...

0
kimllfixit 12.12.11 10:41am
kimllfixit
Hague "stiffened Cameron's spine as he entered the meeting"

As quoted by the Times today - I bet old Willie did...

0
simonjmr 12.12.11 10:24am
simonjmr
Coldplay crowned winners in surprise X Factor vote 0
medici2471 12.12.11 10:02am
medici2471
Nick Clegg admits he had his fingers crossed when he made election promises

Coming to the end of what has been another difficult year for him, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg has finally admitted what many have suspected for some time – he had his fingers crossed when he...

1
Vertically Challenged Giant 12.12.11 9:51am
Username
Stiff opposition expected to increased funeral expenses 0
Major Clanger 12.12.11 8:59am
Major Clanger
Man hurt drinking bubbly admits it was sham pain. 0
Westsider 12.12.11 6:54am
Westsider
New South African mineral drink "tastes like Boer Water" say health experts..

New South African mineral drink "tastes like Boer Water" say health experts....

0
Westsider 12.12.11 6:49am
Westsider
New Bundesliga team Möbius United unveil strip

<insert other football/mathematical puns here>...

0
DorsetBoy 12.12.11 5:22am
DorsetBoy
"Halfwitz is our national tragedy" admits Tory MP 0
Username 12.12.11 3:22am
Username
Depressed mathematician proves Möbius strip has no funny side.

.. hattip to JohnA...

0
Username 12.12.11 3:13am
Username
6000 years of Merkel cult?

"With a curvaceous figure and short stubby arms, the discovery of a 6,000-year-old earth mother in France shows "...

0
Username 12.12.11 3:10am
Username
Health and safety demands of looters finally being met

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2072683/Sony-OLED-Flat-screen-TV-rolled-pocket.html Good start, but there must be hundreds of innovative technologies and operational improvement...

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Username 12.12.11 3:01am
Username