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Amoebas fight back over Miliband slur

Amoebas across the UK have expressed outrage following Respect MP George Galloway’s outburst at Labour leader Ed Miliband, in which he described the opposition leader as ‘an unprincipled coward...

Dick Everyman 26.04.13 2:27pm
Dick Everyman
Shock At 'Disgusting' Outbreak Of Football At Respectable Cannibalism Festival 0
Titus 26.04.13 2:10pm
Dead Celebrity Abuse Allegations Dropped After His Wealth Declared "Almost Nil"

Children's entertainment and television star 'Bouncing Billy Baldwin' (real name William Bathhurst) was a hugely popular TV personality for a very brief time in the early 1970s with his huge mop of...

Titus 26.04.13 2:01pm
Controversially insurance nodding bulldog to feature on new bank notes. Ooh Yess 1
simonjmr 26.04.13 1:14pm
New 20p Note To Bear Thatcher's Portrait; Will Be Useful For Benefits Payments 0
Titus 26.04.13 1:11pm
Protesters Protest At Cost Of Protecting Thatcher Funeral From Protesters 2
Titus 26.04.13 12:47pm
Man who put margarine on burn can't believe it's not better 0
Smart Alex 26.04.13 11:49am
Smart Alex
Cameron a "poor example", says Suarez

Luis Suarez today condemned the Prime Minister, David Cameron, for setting a "poor example" for the nation and "fathers everywhere". In a wide-ranging interview on the BBC, Suarez said that "casting...

johnnydobbo 26.04.13 11:43am
'No scruffy trainers' immigration pledge announced by Farage

After the popular success of last year's one-in-one-out immigration policy update, UKIPs leaders have introduced a raft of manifesto changes under the moniker 'Nightclub Britain'. 'We want...

jimiedge 26.04.13 11:19am
Bikini designers' unity weakens. Cracks beginning to show. 2
Not Amused 26.04.13 10:46am
Suarez Sets Poor Poor Example says Cameron

David Cameron has defended his intervention in the Luis Suarez bite controversy, stating " He sets an appalling example to the poor. Where would this great country be if all the idle shirkers outside...

Nimrod 26.04.13 10:42am
Reluctance to use common nouns leads to communications nightmare for aristocracy 0
sredni vashta 26.04.13 10:01am
sredni vashta
Suarez Confesses He Bit Off More Than He Could Chew

Luis Suarez has admitted that the incident in which he bit Branislav Ivanovic’s arm was in fact a publicity stunt for their new restaurant. In an interview with [i]Football Restaurateur[/i],...

Iggy Pop-Barker 26.04.13 9:29am
Iggy Pop-Barker
Osborne 'shopping jolly' saves economy

The UK economy avoided a 'triple dip' recession thanks in large part to a secret spending spree by the Osborne family, it is alleged. Labour claim that Osborne himself led his three brothers and...

monkeyrepublic 26.04.13 9:12am
Theresa May. Abu Won't. 12
cinquecento 26.04.13 8:53am
Depressed fashion designer unveils new range of futility jackets. 5
sredni vashta 26.04.13 8:42am
China in chaos as UK economy soars

Yesterday's release of UK GDP figures had senior Chinese government officials hastily drawing plans to reshape their economy to stave off their resurgent new rival. "Our paltry 7.7% growth figures...

johnnydobbo 26.04.13 8:22am
5 and 3 'in the wrong order' announce the Institute of Mathematics

Very clever professors from the IoM have revealed that the numbers 5 and 3 are actually in the wrong order. 5 should come before 4 and 3 should come after it. "Once again it's the fault of the...

Terry 26.04.13 7:34am
Police Drop 'Bouncing Billy' Child Abuse Investigation

Children's entertainment and television star 'Bouncing Billy Baldwin' (real name William Bathhurst) was a hugely popular TV personality for a very brief time in the early 1970s with his catchphrase...

Titus 26.04.13 7:32am
Paranoid schizophrenic hard to convince nobody is following him on Twitter 1
sydalg 26.04.13 7:00am
Anti-smoking group to stage "God Hates Fags" protests at cancer funerals 0
sydalg 26.04.13 12:39am
Witch ceremony bargain. Only cost salary of 171 nurses.

Not funny, but true...

olddoc 25.04.13 10:25pm
Massive ball of fire appears in sky over parts of Britain 0
grumblechops 25.04.13 9:45pm
Abu Qatada signs sponsorship deal with Araldite. More soon. 7
Al OPecia 25.04.13 9:16pm
Dick Everyman
Cipriani to be offered 'Routemaster Rage' counselling 0
custard cream 25.04.13 8:20pm
custard cream
Women out to get themselves that ‘Jan Moir’ look

A poll by [i]InVogue[/i] magazine, the self-styled [i]Qur’an[/i] of British fashion, says that an increasing number of women are keen to emulate the sensible, dowdy good looks of [i]Daily Mail[/i]...

Darkbill 2.0 25.04.13 8:16pm
Not Amused
Pounds and pence to be replaced by neeps and tatties, says Salmond. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 25.04.13 7:55pm
Daily Mail To Fund Mass MMR Vaccination Programme 3
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 25.04.13 7:49pm
May to re-introduce torture to prove that Qatada would be better off in Jordan 1
Terry 25.04.13 7:45pm
Qatada, love for May "clearly Stockholm syndrome" insists Psychologist. 0
reforse 25.04.13 7:17pm