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Man with weak shoulder joint appears in Dislocation, Relocation, Dislocation 0
Smart Alex 06.08.12 9:58am
Smart Alex
Olympic bottle thrower identified as member of West Ham due diligence team.

.. or Chelsea, etc...

weematt 06.08.12 9:21am
Earth about to occupy similar position in space as it did when riots started

Observant news editors have spotted that planet Earth is about to return to much the same position along the ecliptic as it occupied when certain British towns and cities were subject to rioting. The...

Boutros 06.08.12 8:23am
John Terry celebrates his Olympic Gold: "Much of the credit goes to Usain Bolt"

more soon. cheers perks [chat room]...

dvo4fun 06.08.12 7:55am
Seb Coe admits Olympics was all done by CGI special effects. 0
godly1966 06.08.12 7:53am
[Sub removed by author's carer] 1
Boutros 06.08.12 7:27am
Golgeau Treize
Gove wants to introduce Gold* medal at next Olympics 9
antharrison 06.08.12 6:59am
British "Incuriosity" rover successfully lands on Mars. Signals "Whatever"

First communication from the surface: "The whole planet is red, rocky and boring. Can I go home now?" Stumped after thissomeone care to carry on?...

JohnA 05.08.12 11:42pm
Britain's champion whinger on track for Olympic success

Blackpool pensioner Bert Williams (68) has kept up an unbroken whinge about the Olympic Games since the day London was awarded the event in 2005. 'I've written at least one letter a day to Lord Coe...

roybland 05.08.12 8:59pm
lifted straight from the BBC site

Tim Henman, Olympic silver medallist and BBC Sport tennis pundit, "It's another step towards Olympic gold for Murray, who has really given Federer no breathing space. The hitting has been so clean...

arthurminnit 05.08.12 7:36pm
Team GB hotly tipped for Bronze in finals of the Medals Table 0
Iscariot 05.08.12 7:16pm
NASA's Curiosity Rover lands on Mars, prepares to meet Martian diplomatic team 0
thesilverflute 05.08.12 6:57pm
Mitt Romney endorsed by Elvis Presley

The Mitt Romney US presidential campaign scored another PR success when it added Elvis to the list of celebrity endorsements. Romney was already marginally ahead of the opposition with such big...

pete1774 05.08.12 6:49pm
A set and a break up...Murray nationality journey reaches Berwick outskirts 11
Ironduke 05.08.12 6:35pm
FTSE Cynicism Index hits new lows as Britain embraces Olympics

Hardened cynics were falling like flies as Andy Murray, Jessica Ennis, Mo Farah and that ginger haired one all won Olympic gold. Against all odds, Britain's cyclists, rowers and sailors overcame a...

JohnA 05.08.12 5:23pm
Royal Mail Announce Partnership with Stratford Massive As Mail Boxes Blinged Up

In an attempt to boost their flagging revenue: Royal Mail have teamed up with a number of London's more progressive drug gangs, anxious to break free from their seedy 'crack house' image, by...

Nowherefast 05.08.12 4:07pm
larger bodied, extreme, archaeologist who also doubles as a swineherd, irish

dancer, scaffolder and toupee maker required. so if you are a bigger giga-digger pigger jigger rigger wigger please apply. applications from black people actively encouraged....

arthurminnit 05.08.12 2:52pm
Men's coxless four 'a tragic inspiration to us all' says the Queen 1
Midnight Dreary 05.08.12 2:13pm
Shit hits fan as superlatives and laxatives mistakenly mixed 0
nickb 05.08.12 2:08pm
'Why was I refused Joanna Rowsell interview?' asks Clare Balding 6
Haywood Manley 05.08.12 2:03pm
Ennis TV coverage relegates Pippa Middleton into silver medal position 2
charlies_hat 05.08.12 1:40pm
Olympic running track closed as cracks appear in surface: diversion via M25 0
Nails UK 05.08.12 1:39pm
Nails UK
"Ginger Bloke On A Stamp? Over My Dead Body!" Says Queen

.. nuff said...

Nowherefast 05.08.12 1:35pm
Triumph for disabled athletes as amputee fitted with giant spring wins high jump

In a shock result likely to change the face of athletics forever, the disabled South African Zebedee Rundebaart shocked the Olympic crowd this morning after easily winning the high jump event. ...

Midnight Dreary 05.08.12 1:32pm
Midnight Dreary
Olympic Golds For Jessica Ennis, Mo Farrah and.. A Ginger Bloke?

BBC sports commentators were left non-plussed last night and news researchers were sent into overdrive as a little known ginger bloke came from nowhere to take the Long Jump Gold for Team GB in the...

Nowherefast 05.08.12 12:56pm
London 2012 demonstration events revealed

Andy Taylor, Head of Development at LOCOG confirmed the following demonstration events will be on show at London 2012: Mobililty scooter 100m. With the exponential increase in mobility aids over...

custard cream 05.08.12 12:47pm
custard cream
Olympic gold winner Farah signs sponsorship deal with Flymo 0
custard cream 05.08.12 12:32pm
custard cream
McDonald's to 'sponsor NHS' says Lansley

Following the success of the sponsorship deals that saw McDonald's open their largest restaurant in the Olympic village, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley announced that the fast food giant had agreed...

newsfelch 05.08.12 12:09pm
Late night giant screen row: hundreds fight over channel choice

Hundreds of viewers of the big screen on Clapham Common were involved in public disorder as yesterday night’s coverage of the Olympics due to a close, after a late night row over the crowd’s ...

nickb 05.08.12 12:08pm
Golgeau Treize
Shock confession: Blues music actually a long-running practical joke

Blues singer Blind Joe Arlington has shocked the music press with his death-bed confession that blues is actually a long running gag played on gullible souls who like to consider themselves...

Chris Hitchcock 05.08.12 12:08pm