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EU-forced closure of Cyprus' Haloumi Bank leaves customers 'cheesed off'. 1
jimmydodger 29.03.13 10:32am
Journalists ask police: 'Can you tell us who it is yet?' 0
fink 29.03.13 10:28am
North Korea launches "Toothless Rhetoric" Missile at rest of world. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 29.03.13 10:24am
Al OPecia
Merkel launches 'Frank Bank' as final solution to Eurozone crisis

In the wake of financial woes in the Eurozone, it has now been confirmed that Angela Merkel has launched a new German led European 'Frank Bank' with handy new services to assist citizens and...

Squudge 29.03.13 10:20am
Mandella & Pope Benedict To Attend Glastonbury "Only If Stones Are Well Enough" 0
Titus 29.03.13 9:19am
New 666 advice line is a 'total nightmare' say health service users 6
Dick Everyman 29.03.13 8:36am
Police Enquiry finds President Kennedy 'died of natural causes'

An exhasutive enquiry by the same top police specialists who investigated the death of Boris Berezovsky have concluded that President John Kennedy died of natural causes in Dallas in November 1963....

John Wiltshire 29.03.13 8:19am
Met Office advise 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' 0
AdrianJ 29.03.13 6:58am
Kangaroo claims to have been tied down and "interfered with" for sport. 0
Maverick 29.03.13 6:48am
3D printer creates first 3D printer 0
Dumbnews 29.03.13 1:32am
Rolling Stones road crew to include untertaker

For Lee Anthony, 39, it's a dream come true. He has gone straight from polishing coffins in Heathley's Funeral Home in Croydon to touring with his favorite band and getting paid for it. With all of...

sydalg 29.03.13 1:07am
SAS in Bizarre Extraction Plan

'Not even Tony Mendez could have dreamed this one up’ said source Nick Stone. In an attempt to pay off some of the UK national debt, David Cameron entered into a secret agreement with former US...

Big Ben 29.03.13 12:24am
Big Ben
Crisis Comparison Site Opens Today

"A new way to check whether your banking crisis is any worse than the next country's" - Simples!...

BewsNiscuit 29.03.13 12:09am
Big Ben
Rolling Stones to release new single "Time is not on my side". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 28.03.13 11:59pm
Al OPecia
The Rolling Stones announce just can't get no Sanatogen 1
irreverendJ 28.03.13 11:58pm
Al OPecia
Liverpool Harvester gets a Michelin Star

Staff at a Liverpool based Harvester restuarant were amazed at the announcement yesterday that they had won a coveted Michelin Star. Head Chef, Simon Gillespie who has trained under some of the...

Dick Everyman 28.03.13 11:54pm
Dick Everyman
Pope accused of podiaphilia. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 28.03.13 10:21pm
Joy as thousands discover Bedroom Tax will bring them below the Benefit Cap 0
Iscariot 28.03.13 10:16pm
Easter shock as Jesus accused of bereavement leave scam

In a development that could dent Jesus’ “Mr Perfect” image, archaeologists today announced that they have found his personal file from his job as a carpenter with the Jerusalem Nailers. Leader...

Yikes 28.03.13 9:49pm
Beer duty reduction blamed for binge drinking outbreak

With over half the community on long-term sickness benefits, regulars of Wetherspoon’s Picture House pub in Ebbw Vale normally have to limit themselves to only six or seven pints during the early...

beau-jolly 28.03.13 9:28pm
Africa promised wind-up radios for April fools day 4
Bourbon 28.03.13 8:56pm
Chain-smoking steamboat captain on two packets a day 0
Smart Alex 28.03.13 8:46pm
Smart Alex
Cyprus mourns death of money

Banks in Cyprus re-opened today so that customers could pay their respects at the scene of their money's tragic death. The money was fatally shot on Monday by firearms officers from the German...

cshevlin 28.03.13 7:31pm
Royal Mail complains new mail delivery system is just a postcode lottery 0
custard cream 28.03.13 7:06pm
custard cream
Spate of Shop Window Manikin Thefts Feared.......

As Spare Bedroom Tax about to kick in...

Jesse Bigg 28.03.13 6:39pm
Jesse Bigg
Employee absolutely point blank refuses to attend assertiveness course 0
Smart Alex 28.03.13 5:48pm
Smart Alex
Charity to release headlice

UK based charity PETI, People For The Ethical Treatment Of invertebrates, have today confirmed they are launcing a campaign to release up to 150,000 head lice from childrens hair across the UK. A...

deadstarter 28.03.13 4:46pm
White Vibrator Fuzzy Fanny (WVFF) Cracked

Health Officials have confirmed that the incidence of White Vibrator Fuzzy Fanny (WVFF) has almost been erradicated amongst young females. The introduction of high tech alternatives eg Rampant Rabbit...

Nosey 28.03.13 4:45pm
Papal foot wash now most popular Red Letter Day treat 0
cinquecento 28.03.13 3:57pm
Doctor Who baffled by new Doctor Who series

The Time Lord today admitted he will be baffled by the new series when it was shown the day after tomorrow in 4,759 BC. 'I've watched the whole series next year, and I'm utterly stumped by...

John Wiltshire 28.03.13 3:51pm