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Cross party agreement on converting Isle of Wight into giant pensioner composter 0
Ironduke 4 years

solving NHS overspend, Pensions shortfall, and providing an environmentally friendly renewable energy supply. [i]I think this idea has more potential than I can give itI'm afraid the funny just will...

Greek MPs pining economic recovery on € millions rollover on Friday 1
simonjmr 4 years

Greek MP's today voted unanimously for the implementation of austerity measures on the provision that investments are made into trying to secure this weeks €136m € millions rollover. More soon...

5USA admits concern for the future as Seagal gets older 0
Mrblacker 4 years

The age of martial arts practitioner and actor Steven Seagal could have a dramatic effect on the viability of the digital TV channel 5USA, according to a leaked internal report. The document,...

MI5 warns terrorists have developed answer to 'Did you pack this yourself' quiz 3
ronseal 4 years

Highly sophisticated terrorist fanatics have found a way around the 'Did you pack this yourself' question, which has kept the peace for decades in Britain's under siege airports. BOLLOCKS. I'M...

Brown Fury - The story of one man's battle to maintain the dogshit bins 20
4 years

Joe Wilkins is a man who lives on the edge of society. He works alone, keeping the streets of Surrey free from a hidden menace. Ever-alert, always down-wind, John is the silent mercenary who empties...

Legislators to adopt ‘knee-jerk emotive response’ policy 3
fernandomando 4 years

In the light of media hysteria and emotional complaints at various poorly reported news stories, David Cameron has agreed that ‘lessons will be learned’ in Parliament when it comes to debates on...

Relief at Murray defeat grows as further ‘unpatriotic’ allegations emerge 1
ianslat 4 years

Relief at Andy Murray’s Wimbledon defeat has been growing rapidly over the weekend according to opinion polls., A small number of British people had immediately reported being overjoyed at...

Interview coaches paid thousands of tax pounds to make MPs sound unmedia traIned 0
ronseal 4 years

Politicians, including the leader of the opposition, are paying hundreds of thousands of pounds to an interview coach, who helps them sound un-media trained. The move follows the revelation that...

America's roundabout revolution 4
Psycadelic Squirrel 4 years

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-13863498...

M3 to be relaid with Astroturf - "It'll look nicer, and cut off Southampton". 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Canada's republicans 'unmoved' by Middleton frocks 1
roybland 4 years
Athlete's foot outbreak halts toe wrestling competition 0
Christopher Frost 4 years
Ring found in canal belongs to Street Doctor 0
Dick Everyman 4 years

Dr Christian Jessen was celebrating last night after his gold sygnet ring was recovered from the alimentary canal of a Street Doctor patient in Birmingham. After filming at the Birmingham location...

Truth In Advertising Standards Force Cameron To Rephrase "The Big Society" Theme 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

..Now to be billed as "The Candyfloss Economy."...

SPANISH SIX SPOIL STEREOTYPE 0
victimms 4 years

Six holiday makers annoyed the owner of their Spanish hotel this week by not smashing the place up in drunken brawls, by not throwing up in hallways, or by having sex in elevators. The lack of...

Friction breaks out over annual "Murray reverts to being Scottish" joke 19
Bwahahahaha 4 years

A bitter war of words has broken out over which of two NewsBiscuit stalwarts had the right to dredge up the usual "Andy Murray reverts to being Scottish" joke, which has been sighted every year since...

Murray chokes harder than Michael Hutchence 0
Christopher Frost 4 years
Strauss-Kahn tipped as next Pope 0
roybland 4 years
Slackers launch new charity “Sickie” for sufferers of minor ailments 1
antharrison 4 years

Hypochondriacs and workplace slackers across the UK have united to form Sickie, a new charitable foundation for the millions of British people, of whom 97% are male, who suffer in almost silence from...

Chelsea Pensioners must work until 103 2
Dick Everyman 4 years

Under the Government's latest austerity measures, Chelsea pensioners will have to work until the age of 103. Medical advances and a 'cosseted' existence have prolonged the life span of the average...

Farmers employed to teach bankers humility 1
FraserWords 4 years

In a new clampdown on the banking sector, the Government is to employ farmers and taxi drivers to teach wealthy bankers some humility., Farmers and taxi drivers will also be encouraged to help the...

Daily Mail hits out at benefit scrounging migrants who take our jobs 0
roybland 4 years
Six-month-old tennis prodigy is Britain's new Wimbledon hope 1
roybland 4 years

Six-month -old Jimmy Williams has been named as Britain's next Wimbledon champion by the Lawn Tennis Association's chief talent scout.,  , 'As soon as I saw the way he swings his rattle, I knew we...

Woman freed after killing "most annoying husband in the world" 0
ermintrude 4 years

Mrs Elsie Peavey (79) was freed from the Old Bailey today following the sensational verdict of the jury. In two days of testimony she decsribed the husband's various foibles, It all began when...

Amy Winehouse tribute act has tour cancelled after arriving on stage coherent 2
ronseal 4 years

Disappointed fans of Amy Winehouse reacted furiously when a tribute act arrived on stage untoxicated. "This is a real kick in the teeth." said Mary, 45, who'd left her children at home, or was it...

New York District Attorney:"Dominique Strauss-KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!" 0
JohnA 4 years

DSK no longer under house arrest or on bail. Should be free to go on philandering shortly...

Tennis fans notice Djokovic has the eyes of a killer 0
Christopher Frost 4 years
Fencing contractors to strike and form pickets. more soon 0
Mrblacker 4 years
Tories to encourage UK households to feed British birds instead of migrants 1
bonjonelson 4 years

The government were embroiled in a new controversy today after remarks from a senior minister suggesting that UK households should give preferential treatment to native British bird species over...

RAF to offer 'buy before we fly' Tripoli air photo service 1
DrE 4 years

With the UK's role in military operations against Colonel Gaddafi's regime predicted to cost £260m, the Conservative Defence Secretary, Liam Fox, yesterday announced that the Government were...