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SA Police: 'Shot heard, Pistorious found 400 metres away from murder scene'. 5
topfotogmw 15.02.13 6:44am
Yikes
Miliband hopes to be salvaged by 10p tax after being stranded without power

Ed Miliband launched an emergency tax initiative today to try to tow his beleaguered party to safety after having been left drifting without power for nearly three years. The party, which had been...

3
topfotogmw 15.02.13 6:39am
topfotogmw
NRA calls for ban on artificial legs 0
Yikes 15.02.13 6:24am
Yikes
Police probe papal "retirement" as traces of pope found in beef

One cardinal who was detained overnight admitted that the Pontiff's disappearance might look suspicious to some, coming at a time when you could get away with serving up Lord Lucan in a Quarter...

0
sydalg 15.02.13 1:46am
sydalg
Findus seeks to repair reputation by sponsoring donkey sanctuary

More later...

0
sydalg 15.02.13 1:38am
sydalg
Horsemeat Reputational Damage Top Ten...

1. Government - "no health risk" - like hell!, 2. Romania - no donkey scrappage scheme, 3. Brussels - asleep at the wheel, 4. Tesco - no profuse apology for second offence, 5. Waitrose - how...

0
deskpilot3 15.02.13 12:22am
deskpilot3
Traces of horseshit found in Dr. Phil's bullshit 0
Dumbnews 15.02.13 12:07am
Dumbnews
Apple releases 'act above making topical jokes but not come up with better' app 0
quango 14.02.13 11:25pm
quango
Oscar Pistorius case ..A nervous O.J Simpson waits for the knock on the door 0
misterjingles 14.02.13 11:24pm
misterjingles
Apple launches new 'Oscar Pistorius Punchline Generator' app for iPhone 0
TheNewsWalrus 14.02.13 11:01pm
TheNewsWalrus
Arse-kicking party “a dream too far” for Pistorius...

A friend of the sprinter, who wants to remain anonymous, wonders what might have been. “From an early age Oscar knew exactly what he wanted to do: run at the Paralympics, compete against...

6
Tripod 14.02.13 11:01pm
AReader
Terry Gilliam speaks direct to camera; "It's only a model". 0
topfotogmw 14.02.13 10:33pm
topfotogmw
O'Farrell To Stand For Labour At Eastleigh By-election

Now there's a thing...

0
tamoshanter 14.02.13 10:31pm
tamoshanter
Tests prove Gareth Bale 90% monkey 0
topfotogmw 14.02.13 10:23pm
topfotogmw
Irving: "Nazis Mistook Jews For Burglars" 1
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 14.02.13 10:01pm
lane-avenger
Disgraced athlete Pistourius test positive for WD40 3
Scronnyglonkle 14.02.13 10:00pm
lane-avenger
police stumped over Pistorius shooting 1
victimms 14.02.13 9:23pm
Squudge
"I had the world at my prosthetic, rubberised pads", laments Pistorious 1
topfotogmw 14.02.13 8:49pm
Yikes
Pistorius: On second thoughts chocolates would have been better

Fuck its been a long depressing day (no cards again, off to bed with Mr Snuggles, Cosmopolitan and a box of tissues)...

0
lane-avenger 14.02.13 8:43pm
lane-avenger
Tragedy as Pistorius's girlfriend dies before she could have sex with John Terry 26
Oxbridge 14.02.13 8:31pm
lane-avenger
Oscar Pistorius found to be 29% Pope

I’m getting good at this, that’s three separate stories combined into one incoherent headline...

3
Spartacus 14.02.13 8:27pm
lane-avenger
Poundland declares independence from UK

In a surprise move, the popular High Street retailer has announced that it intends to become an independent sovereign state, and will now be known as the Democratic People’s Republic of Poundland...

3
TheNewsWalrus 14.02.13 8:23pm
lane-avenger
Pistorius: I only shot once - the other seven were recoil

Boinnnnnngggg! Boinnnnnnnggg! (Apologies to anyone offended by this)...

0
lane-avenger 14.02.13 8:20pm
lane-avenger
police complete the leg work on Pistorius' girlfriend shooting 0
victimms 14.02.13 8:12pm
victimms
Catholic church in crisis as horse meat found in transubstantiated host. 0
the coarse whisperer 14.02.13 7:41pm
the coarse whisperer
Jo’burg police: Pistorius doesn’t have a leg to stand on. 0
sigmund 14.02.13 6:53pm
sigmund
Man stroking calf who lost voice was actually feeling a little hoarse.

Probably a frog in his throat. A lady I know went to a loo in Australia once and a frog leapt out. 'A lady who finds a frog in the loo could end up with toad in the hole.' It might not be news to...

0
SJN 14.02.13 6:18pm
SJN
Pistorious changes M.O. from bladerunner to gunrunner... 0
topfotogmw 14.02.13 5:51pm
topfotogmw
Pistorius: Wife was always nagging me about putting my feet on the coffee table. 0
brd888 14.02.13 5:51pm
brd888
Warren Buffett invests heavily in cold bouillon

surely that's awful enough for a ticker?...

5
14.02.13 5:50pm
riesler