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Police in quandary over arrested witches coven 0
hero2zero 3 years

Police were obliged to release six member of a witches coven, arrested under the anti-terrorist act. The men, aged between 26-50 mainly of ethnic origin were rumoured to have been dancing naked...

Commonwealth Games committee appalled by "third world conditions" in Delhi. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
E-fit photo slug arrested 0
Gerontius 3 years

Earlier today Hampshire police raided a vegetable patch just outside Stockbridge and arrested a large black garden slug in connection with a spate of burglaries carried out in the area over the past...

'See the Pope or die of cancer' no contest says RC man 1
Gerontius 3 years

A Roman Catholic man suffering from a rare form of bowel cancer has welcomed the Pope’s visit to the UK insisting that the £10-12m cost of staging the lavish event is undoubtedly money well spent...

West End 'Mousetrap Play' to Close 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Due to News of the World finally figuring out 'who done it.'...

British TV Comedic output at an all time low, Twitter-abuse blamed. 0
gaijintendo 3 years

Factburst: [list]The only format achievable by today's ADHD comedians is micro-sketch, pun-a-thon or panel show.[/list], [list]Members of the BBC Kent News team have had to step in to write "My...

Rectal cavities to be used as sports arena and sports village for Delhi games 0
simonjmr 3 years

Reports that our facilities are shit holes - is totally unfounded, we are utilising the most advanced rectal cavity technology for our facilities. We will also be using Nasal passages and Aural...

Outrage as dyslexic Pastor threatens to burn a Korean on 9th November. 1
be reasonable 3 years

Outrage as dyslexic Pastor threatens to burn a Korean on 9th November...

Mother in law could lose a few pounds, in all honesty 4
Oxbridge 3 years
England stick Pakistan apology up Butt 0
simonjmr 3 years
X-Factor Chloe arrested 140 times for every bum note she sang in her last song. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Commonwealth Games in chaos... 0
be reasonable 3 years

Scottish team officials joined the chorus of condemnation surrounding accommodation for athletes decrying the Commonwealth Games village as "unsafe and unfit for human habitation,” they went on...

SPECTRE organisation uncovered 0
Sinnick 3 years

Italian police, together with Interpol, unspecified national security forces and the mysterious Church Police, have today announced the discovery of a major international crime organisation. The...

Man carves chicken, turns into own father 7
Oxbridge 3 years

Even as he did it, 34-year-old newlywed Martin Squire knew it was wrong and that he would soon lose all of his self-respect. But somehow the force of circumstances was just too strong for him. Now...

Wayne Rooney boasts he is no longer a one trick pony 0
arrghgarry 3 years

he can afford a lot more nowadays...

Pope to be awarded an Oscar. 0
AndyS 3 years

The Pope is to be awarded an Oscar following his brilliant portrayal of a slightly doddery old man during his recent visit to Britain. His constant need to knap and his utter bewilderment at the...

"Naked cricketer in gay magazine" (BBC) 0
Sinnick 3 years

Shock photo: The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey. RIP Johnners...

Pakistan cricket team called in after disaster strikes Swan Vesta plant 1
Nick McCarr 3 years
Builder charges VAT 0
Sinnick 3 years

In the first case in recorded history, a builder has been commended for charging VAT on a transaction. Local man Dave Wall insists this is the proper way of going about business, and claims to have...

Bankers warn Vince Cable over 'outrageous' policies and public spending cuts 0
simonjmr 3 years
Vatican City in bold bid for next Youth Olympic Games 0
simonjmr 3 years
Government cuts cancel Turner winner cuts protest 0
simonjmr 3 years

Turner Prize winner Mark Wallinger new work to highlight a campaign against proposed government arts cuts, has been cancelled due to government cuts...

Complaints about the Commonwealth Games village 0
greg various 3 years

please ring 0898 201000...

Lib Dems deliver to Britain, but no one was in so they left it with France. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Rapist sues police over poor e-fit picture 0
3 years
Student Stripper Earns Twice As Much As Prime Minister 4
ChrisHarrison 3 years

A bountiful second year English student from Streatham can afford a little more than beans on toast after she sensationally revealed her assets at an impromptu press conference last night. Carly...

Badgers in bid to cull Welsh Assembly 4
Nobby Holder 3 years

Hundreds of people elected to the Welsh Assembly could be slaughtered under controversial plans to halt the spread of Political BS that is now raging out of control throughout parts of Wales,...

Sunspot Latest. Power Grid May Be Out for Years 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Government to stockpile drugs to cope with expected masses of people with Eastenders withdrawal symptoms. PTVS [Post TV Syndrome] will be common in the population. Side effects include wandering...

Dance created for Anne Widdecombes Strictly appearance will be the moose trot. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Sunspots caused by Climate Change 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Climate change claimed another victim when the sun came out in spots. "This is another reason why carbon trading is the answer in response to the climate terror of iran" said a Republican spokesman...