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Chilean miners tell rescuers to "vete para la verga" 0
Scroat 3 years
Davina arrives in Chile in preparation for eviction night 2
wallster 3 years

Dehy 68 in the Big Broother mine. Pedro coooms to the dahry rhoom. (Sorry, had pub lunch. My spelling's shot to fuck.)...

Status Quo to release "Down Down" in tribute to rescue of the Chilean miners 1
simonjmr 3 years

Jamiroqui also planning rerelease of "Deeper Underground"., The Jam to release "Going Underground", Englebert Humperdink to rerelease "Please release me" More soon...

Cub scout bob-a-job week going badly after being under cut by eastern europeans 0
Basil_B 3 years

Cub scouts across the country all collectively complained today that their annual bob-a-job week was having it's worst ever year thanks to being beaten to it by eastern european economic migrants.,...

Camerons "Big Society" claims first victim 6
G H 3 years

David Camerons "Big Society" has claimed its first victim after 43 year old plumber Colin Smith from Aldridge in the west midlands died while attempting to remove his own Appendix.His widow Jayne...

"We're not coming out until Gamu is re-instated" say Chilean miners. 0
Oh Danny Boy 3 years
Tweet I Y Y: Unilever to fund revolutionary pest control experiment 0
4ty2 3 years

to rid London of pigeons and rats by spreading millions of ceramic sunflower seeds aromatised with Flora Sunflower oil for added taste. It is hoped it will ground the pigeons then to be eaten by...

Supply teacher accused of having sex with two 15 year olds says shewas just 0
arrghgarry 3 years

doing her job...

Carrier pigeons called back into service as new cost cutting initiative 0
Basil_B 3 years

A beaming David Cameron emerged from a cost efficiency meeting at the treasury this afternoon with a plan to revise communications between governmental departments by using carrier pigeons for the...

Autistic stationer has 2011diaries in stock 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Gary Glitter to greet freed minors 0
Sinnick 3 years
Ordnance Survey 'mortified' as X-Factor contestant Cher puts Malvern on the map 1
Oxbridge 3 years

There were red faces at the Ordnance Survey last night when the Worcestershire town of Malvern appeared on maps of England and Wales for the first time in its 900-year history. This was apparently...

French unions to announce days they're actually at work 0
Sinnick 3 years

It'll be easier that way...

cure for Bipolar disorder discovered... 1
be reasonable 3 years

"move to Antarctica," say psychiatrists...

iPhone owner shuts the fuck up. OK, just kidding 4
Oxbridge 3 years
Scriptwriters still undecided about cause of death of British aid worker 0
ramblesnake 3 years
Newsbiscuit gets scoop on POOP 0
hero2zero 3 years

Today our reporter reveals, exclusively how the underground animal activist group, POOP, “People Opposed to Oppression of Pets” has forced closure of the celebrity dog salon, “Wags’s.” The...

Arthur Scargill urges Chilean miners to continue sit-in 2
roybland 3 years
Claire Rayner now has wings... 4
riesler 3 years
Non-swimming immigrant drowns off the coast of the Isle of Wight 0
Basil_B 3 years

after trying to claim political assoylent...

Get Into Shape With The Chilean Miners – DVD out now 3
ianslat 3 years

• Resist the temptations of takeaways and beer – trap yourself down a mine-shaft for 3 months, • Reduce your appetite with the fetid smell of your co-dieters’ toilet corner, • Give...

New Schizophrenia Drug could cut number of sufferers by half. 1
Rowly 3 years

In recent trials, it was found to be very good at reducing multiple personality traits., According to the 2 spokesmen, it was so effective that eventually two people could have just one personality...

Calls for clemency after George Osborne revealed as Euromillions winner. 0
SingingHinny 3 years

Expenses probe to follow...

Liverpool FC get New Asian offer: 'We so horny. We Love you Long Time' 2
IABP 3 years

I went out on a Lim there...

Bono snubbed in U2 city takeover as Edge fund is set up. 0
Basil_B 3 years
American soldiers to get inflatable grenades 1
ED209 3 years
Judges and phone votes to decide future BBC redundancies 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Unemployment to be outsourced to Far East by 2011. 0
wallster 3 years

As part of the government's comprehensive spending review, the chancellor George Osborne is expected to announce later this week, that from April 2011, all unemployment will be outsourced to India...

BBC to restrict derogatory remarks to Americans and Tories 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Removing caps easier than putting them on says ex-BP chief 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years