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News International hoping Pete Doherty's early release will divert attention 1
simonjmr 4 years

"Let's hope he does something spectacular in the next few days" a senior executive at News International was overheard. More soon...

Lord Sugar tells former Harrods' boss "You're Al Fayad" 0
antharrison 4 years
Result of satirists’ strike ballot due any time n 1
jp1885 4 years
Imprisoned phone hacker gets 24X7 protection in case child molesters kick him 0
ronseal 4 years
"Loose Cannon" Cop is Sacked 2
Fox100 4 years

The Metropolitan Police today announced the termination of Detective John Action's employment, following an investigation into his methods when foiling a terrorist plot last summer. The...

Toothpaste tubes glad that attention is at last being drawn to squeezed middle 5
4 years
Teens asked to do their bit for the environment 7
thesnug 4 years

While environmentalists call on Generation-X and Baby Boomers to "Save the planet for your children and grandchildren", parents are just asking their children to turn off the lights occasionally....

Queen's spending falls by £1.8m after Palace officials suspend eBay account 6
OllieP 4 years

The cost to British taxpayers of funding the Queen's spending has dropped by £1.8m after Her Majesty's eBay account was suspended by the Keeper of the Privy Purse. Speaking at a press conference Sir...

Prince Charles embracing gentle transition from organic farmer to racist 3
4 years

As the world media swarms around the blossoming William and Kate, Prince Charles is slowly growing into his new role in the Royal Family. Following Prince Philip's recently-announced retirement from...

Pickles in Sandwich Blunder 1
Captain Emyr 4 years

A leaked letter from the Ministry of Communities and Local Government exposed the anger of Eric Pickles at being asked by the Prime Minister to turn up to a cabinet meeting between two slices of...

Thompsons become first family ever to use new camping set a second time 3
FraserWords 4 years

The Thompsons from Worcester will tomorrow become the first British family ever to use their all-in-one camping kit a second time., The dramatic breakthrough may lead to a change in the law, which...

News of World apologises for "leaving box of Milk Tray by the kettle" 6
NewSuburbanDad 4 years

The News of the World has admitted an "error of judgment" in choosing to apologise to the Dowler family for hacking into their daughter's voicemail by breaking into their house and leaving a note and...

Rebekah Brooks "was busy washing hair" at time of Dowler hacks. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 4 years
Hot summer could wipe out Goth population, experts warn 11
Oxbridge 4 years

Most of us may be enjoying the current hot spell but climatologists said yesterday that a long hot spell could spell doom for one of Britain's most unusual monochrome inhabitants, the Goth. 'Goths...

Sexism scandal overshadows Women's World Cup 1
Christopher Frost 4 years

The BBC made a grovelling apology today, for its decision to hire Richard Keys and Andy Gray to present coverage of the FIFA Women’s World Cup. Having been shown mercy by the corporation after...

Phone Hackers phones to be hacked to find out if they hacked peoples phones 1
Iamthestig 4 years
Tube drivers go on strike after being asked to drive tube trains 1
Leeboy007 4 years
Pallet hire firms send delegation to Northern Ireland to stop bonfires 0
simonjmr 4 years

The UK Pallet hire firms are warning that a severe pallet shortage in the UK is underway and is a serious threat to countries logistic businesses. The main cause seems to be the building of super...

Taleban suspicious that Bin Ladens phone was hacked leading to his death 0
simonjmr 4 years
80% favour Scots independence 'providing they then shut the f*** up about it' - 2 31
Skylarking 4 years

More soon if I'm not lynched...

Downing Street cat's food budget cut. 0
Dick Everyman 4 years
Some Headlines 0
Captain Emyr 4 years

Creationists deny new IPad is an evolution from the old model Cameron in U-turn on breakfast order Copa America game cancelled after old man refuses to give ball back. Brothels in buy one hole get...

NOTW recruiting for several positions - must have previous telecoms experience 0
Leeboy007 4 years
Teachers Ordered To Write “I Will Not Strike Again” A Thousand Times 0
Captain Emyr 4 years

The government will today announce the disciplinary measure to be brought against teachers who failed to turn up to classes on June the 30th., , Ministers were shocked to discover that nearly...

Wade denies any knowledge of her own phone calls 0
FraserWords 4 years

News International chief executive Rebekah Wade has denied any knowledge of her own phone calls., In a press statement, she said she had no idea that friends phoned late last night to check she was...

Academic mutters "for fuck's sake" as MPs express surprise at newspaper scandal 0
FraserWords 4 years

A leading academic today raised his eyes skywards and muttered “for fuck’s sake” as MPs and media figures continued to profess shock at the news that some tabloid journalists are total bastards...

Breaking news: Cairo to host Winter Olympics 0
Ostsee 4 years
NHS to begin postcode lottery to create a fairer system 0
acwanaut 4 years

Later this month patients in England and Wales will be able to buy a £5 ticket that could bag them the chance of heading the queue for the treatment of their choice. In a bid to create a fairer...

ET's voicemails from home "deleted by private investigator" 3
bonjonelson 4 years
Ford pulls out of NOTW, but fails test for not checking mirror 1
acwanaut 4 years