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Facebook troll confronts Noel Edmonds

A student who created a ‘Somebody please kill Noel Edmonds’ group on Facebook has met the star face-to-face, and persuaded him to join his cause. Noel Edmonds agreed to meet the psychology...

02.04.12 9:03am
pere floza
leading bathroom cleaner manufacturer challenges sports masseur..

apparently she Mister Muscle! (missed a muscle)...

Leopold Gasket 02.04.12 8:51am
leading mortgage provider challenged over unhealthy kitchen..

told the Dettol do you good! (the debt will do you good)...

Leopold Gasket 02.04.12 8:49am
As April 5th deadline looms Briton's begin panic hosing 3
ronseal 02.04.12 7:44am
Met Office advises, "Don't eat it", in snow warning 'Yellow Alert'. 0
HenroPlod 02.04.12 7:01am
Chinese Delegation Arrives To Discuss Possibility Of UK Becoming "China's Bitch"

Emboldened by continued rapid economic growth and new found political muscle, a group of Chinese officials on a visit to London have revealed that China is no longer satisfied with Britain being its...

Textbook 02.04.12 6:55am
Al OPecia
Cameron assures the nation - "UK Gaffe reserves are adequate"

In response to opposition questions about the alarming rate at which gaffe reserves are being used up Prime Minister Cameron sought to calm the situation. He pointed out that his front bench included...

weematt 02.04.12 6:00am
Apple to sue god...

The Vatican is seeking legal advice after lawyers from Apple served a writ demanding that the Adam and Eve bit of the bible be removed as it infringed on the Apple global patent. Apple is also...

Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 11:21pm
Unlucky Man Has All His Christmases Come At Once

"To have all your Christmases come at once" has long been an expression which means to experience an event of extreme luck or happiness. However, Nito Chivukuvuku would say otherwise. Native to an...

Textbook 01.04.12 11:15pm
Cloakroom attendant follows up bad joke with another: "I'll get your coat" 0
kga6 01.04.12 9:17pm
Abramovich to Take Over at Chelsea

In a shock move Roman Abramovich, Chelsea’s billionaire owner, has appointed himself manager. He said: “I know what I am looking for in a manager: a proven winner, an astute tactician, and above...

Iggy Pop-Barker 01.04.12 8:45pm
Gay man disappointed by pub's open mike night 0
medici2471 01.04.12 7:45pm
George Zimmerman really said that due to a bad cold he was "sucking Tune"

works better as an excuse than "fucking goon" which is allegedly a term of affection according to his friend. Floridans are now known for expressions of affection before they shoot you. Have a nice...

Iscariot 01.04.12 7:37pm
Harry turns down another big top job

Harry Redknapp has turned down another job offer. He refuses to be part of a circus...

GillsImp 01.04.12 7:27pm
Mali Tuareg separatist rebels declare "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" 0
Iscariot 01.04.12 7:20pm
Lapsang Souchong wins landmark by-election seat for the tea party. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 01.04.12 7:13pm
Suu Kyi wins seat but told she'll have to pay the post & packing.

'Oh did she think she was running for office' says government official (smirking). More electoral irregularities soon...

MADJEZ 01.04.12 6:14pm
Renowned Country and Western Singer rumoured to top the charts this weekend

Pasty Cline...

GillsImp 01.04.12 6:07pm
Horse finally finds hay on Isle of Wight

It's owner commented that it was like looking for needles in a haystack...

GillsImp 01.04.12 5:51pm
Website use to be monit..hold on..who's kicked my front door in........ 2
Al OPecia 01.04.12 4:51pm
Footballers to be given "hazardous work" bonus..More soon. 0
Al OPecia 01.04.12 4:15pm
Al OPecia
police still have no clue in mysterious drug addict barn death...

When quizzed by local media on why the investigation team still hadn't found any evidence the chief forensic officer replied 'it's like looking for a needle in a haystack'...

Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 12:59pm
George Galloway Tweets, "Shattered but happy after by-election victory in Burma" 0
HenroPlod 01.04.12 12:13pm
Scientist discovers ‘being a dog’ is key to reducing stress

An expert in making people worry about dying believes they’ve found a new weapon to combat one of Britain’s most popular killers. By concentrating a bit harder on becoming a member of the canine...

01.04.12 11:16am
Midfield Diamond
Investment firm got Game

more later...

virtuallywill 01.04.12 11:14am
Tories admit to spread betting on opinion polls to raise party funds.

Following an investigation by The Telegraph, Eric Pickles has admitted that the Conservative party has been spread betting on the state of the parties in the opinion polls to raise party funds....

Ian 01.04.12 11:11am
Pete Tong tells journalists: "It's all going really well, actually" 0
Nails UK 01.04.12 11:05am
Nails UK
Shark attack victim "enriched lives of family and friends". And shark. 0
Nails UK 01.04.12 11:01am
Nails UK
Muamba baffles female nurses by successfully explaining offside rule

I'll get my coat...

Underconstruction 01.04.12 9:39am
Government to appoint Storage Tzar

David Cameron has announced that the government is to 'take stock' of recent criticisms and appoint a senior official to oversee all national storage-related issues. The role will address 'the safe...

Underconstruction 01.04.12 9:38am