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Proposed left turn in Channel Tunnel will link France to Isle of Wight

In a statement from the Department for Transport released today engineers are working on plans to link France via the Channel Tunnel to the Isle of Wight. A left hand turn off the main tunnel is...

Dick Everyman 30.01.13 12:02pm
Dick Everyman
Rebecca finally released

Rebecca from Mature Dating was finally released after being held hostage for over a year. "I emailed everyone I knew, and some I did not to highlight my situation - that I was being held less than...

sillybugger 30.01.13 10:12am
Train trainers take train training in trainers 2
One Line Only 30.01.13 9:47am
Scarfe told to get his hat and coat 0
Geraldine Wiley 30.01.13 9:25am
Geraldine Wiley
Ryan Air to offer infrequent flyers complementary downgrades 2
Dumbnews 30.01.13 8:41am
Government to announce high-speed Bus Replacement Service 1
Sinnick 30.01.13 8:39am
Paul Scholes 'deicing with death' as car stolen 1
custard cream 29.01.13 11:57pm
Britain sends white flags, monkeys and some cheese to support French in Mali 6
ginty 29.01.13 11:41pm
Success of electronic cigarettes for smokers see vegetarians try 'battery hens' 2
One Line Only 29.01.13 11:31pm
Vegetarians condem Desperate Dan 'Cow Pie' Cartoon

The Editor of The Dandy has appologised...

Ian Searle 29.01.13 11:25pm
Royal Mint "can't afford for Queen to abdicate"

The Royal Mint has admitted that the prohibitive cost of designing new coins and banknotes makes the prospect of changing the monarch "completely unacceptable". A spokesman explained; "That's why...

apepper 29.01.13 11:13pm
Tony Blair delighted at being granted 'Freedom of Walsall' honour 3
custard cream 29.01.13 11:02pm
Cameron "incensed" that plan to remove Dorries fails in Commons vote. More soon 0
Al OPecia 29.01.13 9:01pm
Al OPecia
Researchers find E-Cigarette addiction can be tackled by battery substitutes 0
custard cream 29.01.13 8:47pm
custard cream
Nursery changes mean more plants per teacher 0
One Line Only 29.01.13 8:45pm
One Line Only
Cats kill birds and mice, research shows 0
Scroat 29.01.13 7:08pm
Geordies vow revenge after the Angel of the North is defiled with a coat

In an act of vandalism that is described as being ‘as insulting to Geordies as depicting the prophet Mohammed is to Muslims’, Newcastle’s famous Angle of the North has been given a coat....

Perks 29.01.13 6:56pm
Not Amused
Immigration via Channel Tunnel blocked by Pickles

Squudge 29.01.13 6:56pm
Camden pedestrian killed by falling betting shop sign

A spokesman said "What are the odds on that"...

callaway 29.01.13 6:37pm
UK Votes to Leave Scottish Union in Bid to Improve Average UK Life Expectancy 0
Titus 29.01.13 5:43pm
Radio presenter throttles guest for answering questions with ‘So...’

A local breakfast-radio host has admitted manslaughter during an interview with an early morning guest. Brian ‘Blaster’ Bamford was twenty minutes into his drive-in show on Pembrokeshire’s...

Dick Everyman 29.01.13 5:21pm
Paddy Berzinski
Reading bus company running on bullshit sub too obvious to bother with 0
Nowherefast 29.01.13 5:12pm
Gove denies screaming EEEEbbbbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccc during sex.

Education Secretary, Michael Gove, today denied screaming the word Ebacc into his wife's face during sex., In his dulcet, closeted, Aberdonian tones, Mr Gove, or to the M, to the I, to the K, to...

pj 29.01.13 4:58pm
As the Queen abdicates, Charles accepts his royal destiny...

“I announce my abdication from the throne of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, with immediate effect”, said the Queen today, as her loyal subjects huddled round their wirelesses. "My son...

Tripod 29.01.13 3:43pm
Son of Barnabas
Queen takes hint from Beatrix, announcing that “Britain is now a republic”... 0
Tripod 29.01.13 3:01pm
“We listened to our fans”, says Bob Geldof, denying Boomtown Rats reunion... 0
Tripod 29.01.13 2:30pm
Programme Management Conference date unexpectedly brought forward

The Annual Conference for Programme Management professionals, originally scheduled for June 2013, is now to take place in March. It is understood that Conference organisers The International...

Midfield Diamond 29.01.13 2:24pm
Man stays up all night to photograph Prince Harry

A man, believed to be close to tasty nail technician, Pimmy 'Pimms' Anstruther, was up all night yesterday waiting for Prince Harry to leave a rave in Fulham. Vic Lubbock, a freelance photographer...

29.01.13 2:15pm
On Office Workers’ Day we remember the fallen...

“This is the day”, said Kevin, a drone from Sector C, “when we remember the sacrifices made by office workers, and the dangers they face each and every day at work - from frayed computer cables...

Tripod 29.01.13 2:12pm
Rejected questions from new UK Citizenship Test

The Central Office of Information has published rejected questions for the new Citizenship Test for UK applicants. These include: 'What is the UK flag called at sea?' - This was rejected because...

custard cream 29.01.13 2:10pm