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Sport - Channel 5 Manages to Offload Europa League

Management at Channel 5 were ecstatic this morning as they relieved themselves of overpriced mediocre European football. As ITV signed a 3-year deal to transmit footage of games no-one cares about,...

GreenCross 17.10.11 4:01pm
Pythagoras' wife's lover killed whilst partaking in oral sex

"He died as he lived, eating a Pi." More soon...

simonjmr 17.10.11 4:37pm
Wheldon was driving "way too fast" say onlookers 1
Drylaw 17.10.11 3:30pm
Vincent Tabak and Sam Warburton to make joint statement on 'moderate force'. 0
GreenCross 17.10.11 3:18pm
Yeates and boyfriend 'getting new cat' prior to murder. May orders inquiry.

- Really - the Guardian are quoting her friend in court as saying that they were getting a cat. Surely this demands an examination of her immigration status...

GreenCross 18.10.11 8:55am
RSPB denounces 'sick' Hummingbird Bakery 1
GreenCross 17.10.11 2:50pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Dr Evil in court over intruder death

Douglas Powers, better known as international super-villain Dr Evil, is set to appear in court today to face charges over the alleged unlawful killing of a burglar at a hollowed out volcano, which...

Vertically Challenged Giant 17.10.11 6:16pm
The All New Jeni B
. 5
Vertically Challenged Giant 18.10.11 10:04am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Screwfix not a dating agency despite extensive catalogue. 1
GreenCross 17.10.11 2:27pm
Duke Togo
"Guns more fun than cars", says new Defence Secretary.

The new Defence Secretary Philip Hammond has welcomed the opportunity to tell people with guns what to do. Following Dr Liam Fox's resignation after being caught having having a friend that, when...

GreenCross 18.10.11 6:21am
Britain Learns That America Has Car Racing Too

Britain awoke this morning to the news that not only does America have a form of car racing almost as tedious as Formula 1, but that one of our own had been killed because he didn't aim his car...

GreenCross 17.10.11 1:46pm
Health and safety Nazis invade Poland

There was concern across Europe today after battalions of health and safety Nazis armed with clipboards and pens were seen marching across the Polish border wearing hard hats and high-viz jackets....

Long Distance Clara 17.10.11 1:33pm
Long Distance Clara
Apple, Orange and a shiny new penny top Christmas wish list.

More later...

spoole2112 17.10.11 1:22pm
Authentic 1950's style Diner defends controversial segregation policy 3
charlies_hat 17.10.11 11:36pm
Noisy anti-closure protests force libraries to close 2
nickb 19.10.11 8:18am
Black turtleneck sweaters "aid creativity", says study

It has been the dressed-down garment of cool for over five years. Along with the big screen, the echoey venue and the use of the words “here’s the thing that makes this thing so cool”, it’s...

nickb 17.10.11 12:35pm
Dan Wheldon dies Indycar 3
SpankyMonkey 17.10.11 9:46pm
George Osbourne arrested for running 'giant Ponzi scheme'

Whitehall was in shock last night after current Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osbourne, was arrested by Cheshire Police in the grounds of his constituency mansion on charges of running a Ponzi...

acwanaut 17.10.11 11:51am
House of Lords a-peers to have gas supply

David Cameron has today announced a big discovery in the search for cheaper fuel. For many years now the price of fuel has been increasing to unaffordable levels. Over the same period, as the average...

Perks 17.10.11 11:20am
Dictionary corner: "Pokemon" - Jamaican slang for poor quality accommodation 1
Iamthestig 17.10.11 11:23am
Cameron unveils "rhetoric" as new wonder fuel

The government today has announced that it needs to work "harder and faster" to bring down energy bills, Mr Cameron has said that they wanted to create a "trusted, simple and transparent" market....

simonjmr 24.10.11 10:24pm
Government announces switch off of analogue power stations. 0
Ostsee 17.10.11 6:24am
Comics World In Shock As Archie Is Still Not Cancelled

Comic fans around the world were astonished to find that new adventures of Archie Andrews are still being published on a monthly basis, leading to questions as to how this has happened when no one...

Textbook 17.10.11 11:40pm
Global finance anarchists ask RBS and HSBC "Could we possibly use your loo?" 1
antharrison 17.10.11 7:34am
Curry headline made into a tikka 0
arthurminnit 16.10.11 7:52pm
Inaugural Dale Farmers Market "mostly potatoes" 5
charlies_hat 17.10.11 7:33am
"Liam Fox is my imaginary friend" - Werritty

Adam Werritty has claimed that Liam Fox was an [i]imaginary [/i]friend. "I certainly didn't think he really existed. How could he?", said a confused Werritty. "I've sometimes felt a bit lonely on...

apepper 16.10.11 7:04pm
Cameron still wondering how he can blame last Labour government for Liam Fox 1
roybland 17.10.11 12:00pm
Gay bar free groping offer will reverse falling profits.....touch wood 1
Perks 17.10.11 7:37am
Mumbai refuses to be twinned with Southall saying "we have standards to uphold" 0
witless 16.10.11 6:18pm