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Waitrose stripped of balsamic vinegar in middle-class panic-buying frenzy 1
Matt T 3 years
Assange promises to use combat codpiece on next trip to Sweden. 3
Ostsee 3 years
Football off... Fans stay home, eat pies, drink Bovril, punch themselves in face 1
Doylem 3 years
lightweight Irish lumber jack ,balsa Mick becomes lazy and gets dressing down 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Stop press: financial indices that can go up and down go up and down... 0
Doylem 3 years

“The value of the pound continues to fluctuate against the dollar, Euro, yen, rupee and other major currencies. The FTSE, Dow Jones, NASDAQ, Hang Seng and other global indices rise and fall. The...

Norfolk councillors display concern over twinning with Pitcairn Islands 2
brownpaperreporter 3 years
ITV suffers from twitterleak 0
4ty2 3 years

as it broadcast that apparenly nigella lawson is not as attractive as she thinks she is. DEspite agreeing bossee quick to deny, blaming rogue leak to avoid libel...

Sheep community decides to keep faith with collie leadership 3
Genghis Cohen 3 years

A spokesheep was a bit wooly on some of the details, but insisted there was safety in numbers. He went on to confirm that the flock had again decided it would be nice to all get the same haircut in...

Ardon takes Assange back to Wandsworth Prison 1
Trickster 3 years

Assange is back in Wandsworth prison tonight after being arrested by accuser and CIA 'honey trap' Anna Ardon., According to bail set out by the high court, Assange is set to report to his local...

Santa Claus Budget to be put in hands of children. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

In a dramatic move today Jeremy Hunt the Culture Secretary announced that Santa Claus would no longer be administering the Christmas toys budget, but instead it would be placed directly in the hands...

Apple fanboy convinced that Apple’s business strategy is all about him... 0
Doylem 3 years

“I don’t know why Steve Jobs hates me so much”, pouts Owen Schwartz, convinced that the charismatic Apple CEO is conducting a personal vendetta against a 16-year old schoolboy from Selly Oak,...

Billy Connoly denies that his new bicycle parking space has anything to do with 0
Malcum eggs 3 years

his wifes disappearance...

US Government offers to drop all charges if BP can cap Wikileaks 9
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sarah Palin's emails released by ThikiLeaks. 2
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Ireland (Southern) is downgraded by Moody, tells them to pick a pocket or two. 0
Malcum eggs 3 years

what`s not to like...

Friends Reunited “may hit the big screen”... 0
Doylem 3 years

After the success of [i]The Social Network[/i], the film about Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, Friends Reunited may be the next website to get the Hollywood treatment. Since it was founded ten...

Media fear snow may lead to unwanted news stories being abandoned on roadsides. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

If you have an unwanted news story please send it to your local TV station. Or if you've taken a picture of the snow please send it to us as we've sacked all our cameramen and journalists are just...

Apple “almost certain” to launch new products “very soon”... 3
Doylem 3 years

The online Apple fraternity is awash with rumours that the company is about to launch some innovative new products in the new year. First reports suggest these new products will almost certainly be...

St Peter: Heaven “not ready for musical atonality”... 0
Doylem 3 years

Looking like a man who’s not getting enough sleep, St Peter explained how his celestial serenity has been shattered. “We have a long musical tradition here in heaven. Harps mostly. And since...

Coalition to introduce cap year as part of the big society project 0
4ty2 3 years

Following the successful challenge to the temporary immigration cap on non EU immigrants by the joint council for welfare immigrants and the English Community Care Association, which said it would...

Mountain gorilla “unaware how rare he really is”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Disaster tourism: Chernobyl, Anthrax Island, Guantanamo Bay, Lib-Dem HQ... 5
Doylem 3 years
English cricket fans 'relieved' at batting collapse. 0
riesler 3 years

"It was all getting too stressful, waking up to find the Aussies getting a thrashing and knowing that, with all the over-confidence and predictions of an early win, an England collapse was inevitable...

Charity boss makes charity donation instead of sending charity cards 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Captain Beef's Heart Stops. Death Mask Original. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

No more soon, sad to say...

Shamed teenager admits he was never 'up to' anything 0
roybland 3 years

Teenager Nathan Doyle has confessed he was never 'up to' anything whenever he was asked. The seventeen year old from Bacup, who always responded to his mates' mobile phone enquiry of 'What're you up...

New cat food flavours prove popular 2
riesler 3 years

'mouse' and 'sparrow'...

Pakistan uncovers largest corruption scandal since yesterday 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Brunel's Dad originally designed the Clifton Suspension Bridge as a tunnel... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
South Korean scientist claims first cloned Santa Claus 0
roybland 3 years