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Nation nervously awaits results from Royal baby 'ginger test'. 0
Gaz 04.12.12 10:04am
David Icke charged with attempted theft of egg. 0
reforse 04.12.12 9:55am
Spartacus Chetwynd unveils "Mecca art pig" at Turner Prize

The Turner Prize nominee unveiled her new artwork / performance piece in advance of this weeks Turner Prize award ceremony. It's full title is "Aladdin's vehicle unravelled Mecca Art Pig" if...

simonjmr 04.12.12 9:29am
Porn a big hit in Pound Land 0
Dick Everyman 04.12.12 9:26am
Dick Everyman
Royal Baby

Following on from the recent discovery of the mystical lair of unicorns in North Korea, Doctors in the UK today announced the discovery of yet another magical animal - Babius Royalus, or a Royal Baby...

ionb 04.12.12 8:05am
“Back to the family’s roots” for baby's name. Welcome King Adolf the First... 7
Tripod 04.12.12 5:21am
Smart Alex
Where there's a Will, there's a wain

One for the Celts. More soon...

NewCriminal 04.12.12 2:59am
William and Kate to name child ‘The artist formerly known as Windsor’

More fawning obsequiousness soon...

fernandomando 04.12.12 12:21am
BBC preparing apology for excessive royal pregnancy coverage

So much more later...

virtuallywill 04.12.12 12:21am
'Another scrounging royal slapper up the duff' says Daily Mail headline 0
antharrison 03.12.12 11:44pm
Royal couple proud to announce they are 'Expecting first baldy' 0
antharrison 03.12.12 11:33pm
Advertising Feature. Zumbie - The dance fitness program for the undead

Are you feeling bloated? Is it the decomposition of enzymes in your stomach or the mini bus load of Lithuanian fruit pickers you massacred last night? Well, lumbering slowly round an abandoned...

seymour totti 03.12.12 10:37pm
Luxembourg to be summoned to appear before tax avoidance committee

It is believed that Luxembourg are in hot water over suspicions that they are harbouring companies who don't pay tax in the UK...

grottymonty 03.12.12 10:34pm
British hospitals full to bursting with idle pregnant duchesses

As the NHS warns that patient care is suffering due to the shortage of beds, happy news reaches us that Mrs Elsie Grimthorpe an octogenarian who has worked tirelessly her entire life has given up her...

grottymonty 03.12.12 10:25pm
Starbucks - Osborne orders trenta but is served a demi 0
custard cream 03.12.12 10:01pm
custard cream
New Starbucks slogan - 'Wake up and smell the money' 0
custard cream 03.12.12 9:59pm
custard cream
Starbucks Customer to Start Paying Tax

Conscience-stricken Starbucks customer James Atkinson has announced that he will, in future, offer to pay income tax on his cash ISA., "I know, legally, I don't have to pay any tax at all on a cash...

Titus 03.12.12 9:33pm
Posh and Becks to call their next child Hyperemesis Gravidarum. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.12.12 9:06pm
Sales of Little Princess On Board car window stickers rocket 0
Drylaw 03.12.12 8:49pm

Girls seen everywhere dancing in green-and-white-check cotton dresses as Gingham Style goes viral...

Titus 03.12.12 8:44pm
Man who saw a magic carpet flying overhead was under an illusion. 0
weematt 03.12.12 8:42pm
The baby won't be called Shagpile. It was our magic carpet says Wills.

More from the tower soon...

Not Amused 03.12.12 8:36pm
Not Amused
Storm at claim that Inland Revenue "pay little or no tax"

People are reacting with fury as it's been revealed that the Inland Revenue has been paying no tax at all on the £120 billion received each year. "This is an outrage.", said an MP, "If they paid...

apepper 03.12.12 8:21pm
Kate on a drip - Prince Edward spotted in the area 0
custard cream 03.12.12 8:09pm
custard cream
Queen reveals Duchess is surrogate mother

International Pop Queen, Sir Elton John has announced the true identity of the surrogate mother chosen to bear his second child. In a secret deal it has been revealed that Kate, the Duchess of...

Dick Everyman 03.12.12 7:57pm
Dick Everyman
Stranded Nigerian prince resorts to texting after failing to attract email help 0
custard cream 03.12.12 7:56pm
custard cream
Palace concerned about sales of Endoscopic cameras to Paparazzi. 3
beagle 03.12.12 7:49pm
News of Royal pregnancy not taken well by Harry

Following the delightful news that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their first child, reports have emerged that Prince Harry has not taken the news well. The as yet unborn Heir will...

Perks 03.12.12 7:48pm
Harry said to be excited about his first born. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.12.12 7:45pm
Pope uses tweet to announce 3 for2 offer on indulgences, sale starts Boxing day 1
reforse 03.12.12 7:30pm