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Illness ravages Macca's body as Penny Lane now 'in his ears and in his eyes' 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Policeman's arm seen on street, explained! Residents reassured. 0
hero2zero 3 years

Residents of a London suburb, alarmed at the vision of a Policeman's arm patrolling the streets were reassured when they learnt that only 10% of today's police are visible on the streets. One...

Nervous Cameron had "hidden monkeys", aide explains 3
simonjmr 3 years
Octopus to head up OBR 2
thogg 3 years

Paul the octopus has succeeded Sir Alan Budd as head of the independent Office for Budget Responibility which forecasts growth for the UK economy. It is believed that he joined them on free transfer...

Non-emergency vehicles get green-light for 'blue-light' license 0
QorbeQ 3 years

The government has released details of planned changes to road traffic legislation, granting non-emergency vehicles the same road privileges as the emergency services 'provided they cough up'. The...

New Government rules require Paedophiles to get written parental consent 1
simonjmr 3 years

David Cameron yesterday unveiled his vision for a "Big Society" - where a "new culture of voluntarism, philanthropy and social action. This is about trying to have a bigger, better society and a firm...

Shock as 'elephant in the room' turns out to be real elephant. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

But nobody wants to talk about it...

Police bring 'satisfactory close' to supermarket water pistol siege 0
QorbeQ 3 years

A tense police stand-off with a gun-wielding maniac developed in a Barnstaple supermarket car park today after an apparently minor spat between Kyle Ward and his parents inside the family's local...

Asbestos only harmful if you breathe it in, Gove tells schoolchildren 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

Under-fire Education Secretary, Michael Gove, last night reassured children in Britain’s crumbling schools that the asbestos they like to play with during break-time won’t kill them unless they...

Government to outsource care of comatose NHS patients to Wackenhut Corporation 0
la maga 3 years

In what has been hailed by consultants as a massive cost-saving measure, the care of comatose NHS patients, including those in a permanent vegetative state, is to be put out to tender to private...

BP to line sea floor with Clingfilm 0
jp1885 3 years
Ex-MI5 bossdenies saying 'I spy with my little eye something beginning with WMD' 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Cameron reinvents the wheel 5
lukipela 3 years

The small rural town of Nimby in Cumbria was praised in the Commons today by Dave Cameron for their alternative energy scheme inspired by his Big Society plans. Instead of erecting dozens of...

Academies Bill says he won’t be rushed 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
‘Poor relation’ crime victims confused and angry that bankers got away with it 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
'Hose pipe amnesty' to be trialled in place of outright ban 0
dicky37 3 years

UK's worst offenders urged to anonymously hand in thousands of hoses, garden sprinklers and pressure washers at police stations, 'no questions asked'...

Moat: Northumberland police now seeking to 'build bridges' 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Media tycoon released on bail by US appeals court. Is it 'cause he's Black? 0
Erlang 3 years
International gobshite Glenn Beck says he may (or may not) go blind within 0
arrghgarry 3 years

a year because of macular dystrophy .Elton John has a hit song already lined up., Deaf,dumb and blind kid sure talks a load of balls...

The Big Issue to be renamed Big Society News..... 0
BillyBitzer 3 years
Apple launches iPhone Decart Ap, the iThink and the iAm 0
hero2zero 3 years
Iran moves to ban "looking French". 2
the coarse whisperer 3 years

In a shock move today the Iranian parliament has banned berets, handlebar moustaches, stripy sweaters, strings of onions, insouciant shrugs, a casual attitude to extramarital sex, noisy citron deux...

Dalmatian issued with spot fine by overzealous PCSO. 0
lukipela 3 years
Court grants Locked In sufferer the right to end his own life & hands him a gun 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

And sends the Geordie Police from the Raoul Moat siege to surround his bed "G'wan ya poof man. Ya noos ya kenna doo it"...

Vatican launch e-praying app for IPhone 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Obama deeply upset over comments made by an anonymous blogger 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Thrill seeker to drive from Paris to Dakar without using GPS 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Unions claim cuts 'fully justified' 0
thogg 3 years

"In these difficult times of austerity it is only right that cutbacks are made" said union chieftan. "This of course includes cutting many jobs and pensions, but I'm our members understand the need...

Cameron to re-launch Big Country 2
virtuallywill 3 years

David Cameron will take the place of Stuart Adamson as lead singer of Big Country , he will be joined by Bruce Watson, Tony Butler and Mark Brzezicki ., Cameron believes he can mix the bagpipe...

Bogus Male Stripper gang busted, arrests made 12
Golgo13 3 years

Police confirmed today that eight men have been arrested in connection with a bogus male stripper ring that operated across Britain and targeted women attending hen nights, birthday parties and...