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Struggling young actors turning to football for route to Hollywood

Following the huge success of soccer hard-man turned brooding Hollywood star Vinnie Jones, Ken Loach’s corpulent muse Eric Cantona and housewives’ favourite David Ginola, young actors are...

1
Curbie Firetank 25.07.13 5:26pm
CulchaVulcha
Wonga to start religion

Money lending website, wonga.com, is to start their own religion to compete with the Church of England. Jonty Hurwitz Wonga's founder, the newly named High Elder of Grainger Town, Newcastle issued a...

1
apepper 25.07.13 5:16pm
CulchaVulcha
Royal baby was to be named after place of conception Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgoger..

Royal insiders have revealed that William & Kate wanted to name their son after a local village in Anglesey where the Duke is stationed as an air-sea rescue pilot. The couple enjoy nights...

6
MADJEZ 25.07.13 2:37pm
beau-jolly
New 50p Note Created In Order To Carry Barabara Cartland's Portait

In a further bid to increase the number of outstanding female writers depicted on British bank notes, this will be eventually supplemented by a new 20p note showing Jade Goody, and a 5p note bearing...

0
Titus 25.07.13 2:03pm
Titus
For sale: Sweet's Anglo-Saxon Primer, woad and mead stains, hence 3p 0
sydalg 25.07.13 1:31pm
sydalg
Thorntons unveil new Luxury 3 Piece sweet 0
Scronnyglonkle 25.07.13 11:45am
Scronnyglonkle
Royal couple finally admit...

"Actually, we named him after George from Rainbow, Aleksandr Orlov Meerkat, and King Louis from The Jungle Book". Hat tips to Madjez and Ref Minor...

2
Smart Alex 25.07.13 10:50am
Mr Target
Wonga fights back, offering repayment extensions into the afterlife.

More later. Much more, and much later...

0
raudus 25.07.13 10:33am
raudus
George Alexander Louis Windsor lucky won't need to fit names on application form 0
MADJEZ 25.07.13 10:11am
MADJEZ
Wolf surprised Hay lasted longer than the Stick and Brick Festivals 0
Ian Searle 25.07.13 8:50am
Ian Searle
Gamekeeper job 'does not help me poach', claims poacher

A poacher who works as a gamekeeper during the week has denied that the job conflicts in any way with his weekend role of 'the best damn poacher you ever saw', in the same wood. 'It's completely...

0
SuburbanDad 25.07.13 7:43am
SuburbanDad
RyanAir flight struck by lightning. New surcharge to be introduced. 5
FlashArry 25.07.13 6:59am
Scronnyglonkle
Free Used Royal Nappy With Next Week's OK! Magazine

much more to come...

1
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 25.07.13 5:24am
Lindy Moone
Facebook bans user for posting too many "life is good" status updates 0
Dumbnews 25.07.13 2:26am
Dumbnews
Scr_bbl_ pl_y_rs f _c_ A & E crisis

S__rch_s for _ solution h_v_ so f_r dr_w_n _ bl_nk...

11
Ian Searle 24.07.13 9:23pm
sillybugger
Islington First London Borough To Be Powered Entirely By Social Media, Smugness

The London Borough of Islington has announced plans to generate its entire power requirements entirely through its inhabitants use of social media and the self satisfaction that they get from using...

5
thisisall1word 24.07.13 9:06pm
FlashArry
Easyjet's trips to Mars to terminate just north of Penge. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 24.07.13 7:23pm
dominic_mcg
Fire service to use Sainsburys BBQ lighting gel to put out fires from now on.

Spokesman said 'It's the least flammable substance we've ever come across' More shit products which aren't fit for purpose soon...

1
MADJEZ 24.07.13 7:20pm
Squudge
"Ok!" Editors top Nazi "most wanted" list

Despite a grovelling apology for likening the post-partum Duchess of Cambridge to a "people carrier", the staff of the weekly celebrity magazine have become a target for the German authorities....

0
Wrenfoe 24.07.13 7:18pm
Wrenfoe
Royal baby named Alexander after meerkat gave them good deal on car insurance.

Morekat soon...

0
MADJEZ 24.07.13 7:13pm
MADJEZ
Royal baby to be named "Kong" 3
Sinnick 24.07.13 6:56pm
Titus
Queen to allow swans to eat vegans

Palace officials and conservationists alike are currently poring over radical proposals to allow swans to eat the Queens subjects for the first time since the Act of Swans in 1482. The swans of the...

23
Squudge 24.07.13 6:49pm
Titus
New Future National Anthem

(Hats off for Admiral of the Fleet Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, KG GCB OM GCSI GCIE GCVO DSO PC FRS. Respec'.)...

0
Titus 24.07.13 6:37pm
Titus
Royal baby named George Michael after taking so long to come out 11
irreverendJ 24.07.13 6:06pm
Al OPecia
Royal Name Finally Announced-George Zippy Bungle Geoffrey Prince of Cambridge 2
Ref Minor 24.07.13 5:57pm
Ref Minor
Triplets diagnosed with diabetes 2
Squudge 24.07.13 5:53pm
Squudge
420 character broadcast broken down into three piece tweet

Neat-oh dear...

5
beau-jolly 24.07.13 5:43pm
FOAD
Man with multiple personality disorder "stole three piece suite to sit on" 3
sydalg 24.07.13 5:12pm
sponge finger
Pippa Middleton Arse to 'Give Birth' Soon

this is by far the stupidest post I have made for years however I keep chuckling at this apologies to everyone concerned or not concerned...

1
thisisall1word 24.07.13 4:47pm
FlashArry
'Internet nerds' now seek advice on buying dirty mags 'without looking rapey'

Following David Cameron's plans to make access to online pornography even more difficult, thousands of young men of the internet generation have turned to their wise elders for advise on how to buy a...

12
Jesus H 24.07.13 4:13pm
Jesus H