Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Queen Sells Up to Back Jubilee Campaign

In an unprecedented act of royal generosity, the Queen is to mark her Diamond Jubilee by selling her extensive range of palaces and other properties and donating the proceeds to the Jubilee Debt...

1
Iggy Pop-Barker 26.05.12 10:49pm
Yikes
Jessica Ennis sets new world record for ‘snatch ads’ revenue

Jessica Ennis, British gold medal hopeful for the Olympic heptathlon, has today signed a record sponsorship deal for so-called ‘snatch ads’. Agent Alison Sanders explained that the ads are...

4
Des Custard 26.05.12 10:44pm
Yikes
Temperatures Hotter Than A Topless Lucy Pinder Says Experts 2
Hooch 26.05.12 9:25pm
dvo4fun
Tongue-tied MP's admit they were afraid to ask "where the Warsi rent went"

more soon. By better writers...

0
VictorMeldrew 26.05.12 9:22pm
VictorMeldrew
If you want Greece to win

If you want Greece to win dial 09015 22 22 16 to bankrupt the country...

0
BigV 26.05.12 9:16pm
BigV
Eurovision Song Contest won by a dancing dog act. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 26.05.12 6:28pm
dominic_mcg
Medical professionals baffled as mystery vomiting disease sweeps UK

Doctors across the UK have become increasingly concerned as a new mystery illness which causes sudden vomiting has spread across the UK in the past few weeks. "We did think that it was a norovirus...

18
JohnA 26.05.12 5:47pm
nickb
Confusion for Twins bemused by Martial Arts and Marital Arts training.

“I’d seen an advert in the post office window for a beginners’ course in Kama Sutra at Marlow Community Centre." says Ron Twomey "It was a new one on me and all I knew it wasn’t the same...

1
dvo4fun 26.05.12 3:37pm
Perks
Buntin' Redikulas

Somerset County Council seek, county wide, emergency powers to close all roads which have installed street lighting, until “risk assessment” completed following request to hang lightweight...

0
HenryMJUK 26.05.12 11:13am
HenryMJUK
Rebellious teenager claims to be first UK victim of ‘honour grounding’

Jennifer Coster, aged 15, has appeared in public for the first time since the end of April alleging she is the first UK victim of a so-called ‘honour grounding’ conducted by her vengeful parents...

4
Gary Stanton 26.05.12 9:58am
Golgo13
Muslim Brotherhood of Man to enter Eurovison

Egypt has sensationally entered the Eurovision Song Contest this weekend, Egyptians have been polled on their favourite musical number, although as ever the traditional Eurovision tactical voting was...

27
Scronnyglonkle 26.05.12 9:48am
beau-jolly
Vatican “hard on crime” as it jails Pope’s butler for borrowing paper

The Vatican trumpeted its zero tolerance approach to crime as the Pope's butler, Paolo Gabriele, was taken into custody for the serious offence of borrowing pieces of paper that show what the Vatican...

2
Yikes 26.05.12 9:01am
Yikes
Houmous,  tsatziki shortages caused double dip recession says Greece

Hat tip to er, someone who did a dip joke. Please claim reward...

0
nickb 26.05.12 7:26am
nickb
Tooth Fairy to seek help after admitting "compulsive hoarding" tendencies

The Tooth Fairy today broke down in tears as she admitted she was seeking help for 'pathological orthodontic hoarding tendencies' - a condition which has seen the mythological pixie collect and store...

4
grumblechops 26.05.12 5:48am
Yikes
Crowd gathers at Blackfriars bridge on news of dispatch of Vatican banker 5
medici2471 26.05.12 12:41am
dvo4fun
Hunt deploys Clinton defence "I never had financial relations with that Murdoch" 0
dvo4fun 26.05.12 12:40am
dvo4fun
"None of the Above" Gains Global Poll Lead

In what is considered to be an embarrassment for Political parties and Governments around the world, polling orgnaisations have admitted that they have conclusive data showing that voters in the...

0
simjel 25.05.12 10:32pm
simjel
Man Who Has Fathered 30 Children By 11 Different Women Begs Judge For A Break.

A 33 year old Knoxville, Tennessee man has asked a judge there to 'give him a break' in paying his alimony to 11 women with whom he has fathered 30 children (This is true). Desmond Hatchett, who...

0
25.05.12 10:09pm
Porn actors now having to work longer and harder claims union 1
LittleSpender 25.05.12 8:32pm
RickH
Olympic Torch now running on Emergency Credit

Olympic Officials today admitted they were caught "somewhat offguard" at how frequently they needed to top up the credit on the Pay As You Go gas card which was intended to keep the Olympic Flame...

1
grumblechops 25.05.12 6:07pm
Des Custard
Lloyds head of fraud receives £2.5M bonus for uncovering fraud

Jessica Harper, head of Fraud and Security at Lloyds bank, has received a 7 figure bonus. A bank spokesman explained; "I know this may seem excessive, but Ms Harper has uncovered a truly audacious...

0
apepper 25.05.12 2:51pm
apepper
Humperdink looks cert to be oldest contestant to get 'nil point'.

Nominees sought for next years joke entry...

0
MADJEZ 25.05.12 1:52pm
MADJEZ
Saudi Arabian shoplifting rugby player having trouble with handoff 0
seymour totti 25.05.12 12:33pm
seymour totti
SpaceX Dragon successfully delivers junk mail to International Space Station 0
TerribleTim 25.05.12 10:37am
TerribleTim
£4m fake coin haul: 'We wuz just doin a bit of yer quantitative easin' officer.' 0
weematt 25.05.12 10:28am
weematt
Lloyds former Head of Fraud says she was "just doing her job" 0
Sinnick 25.05.12 9:16am
Sinnick
Student arsonists welcome priority schools building programme

With the end of term just weeks away dissaffected student arsonists have broadly welcomed Education Minister Michael Gove's announcement that some schools are to be refurbished. Rick Woods, 16, of...

1
Mandy Lifeboat 25.05.12 7:00am
dvo4fun
Minimum alcohol pricing could leave tramps ‘dangerously lucid’ warn experts

Experts have warned that government proposals to introduce a minimum price per unit of alcohol could have a devastating effect on the UK’s tramp industry, leaving vagrants facing levels of sobriety...

7
25.05.12 6:57am
dvo4fun
Tesco outsources checkout operators to India

In a bid to halt a decline in profits, Tesco has announced plans to outsource their checkout operators to India. Avoiding eye-contact with customers remotely via an uninteractive ‘tcsh’ screen,...

8
25.05.12 6:55am
Sinnick
Chelsea Flower Show latest: Di Matteo's 'Bunch of Pansies' takes top honour

Hot on the heels of their Champions League success, the lads from Chelsea FC have once again opened their gardens to members of the public for their annual display of horticultural excellence. The...

1
grumblechops 25.05.12 6:44am
Yikes