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Italian museum director's suspected heart attack revealed to be just 'art burn' 0
Screenie 18.04.12 3:54pm
Employment Minister: Give a 'hoodie' your job. More soon 1
Old Hat 18.04.12 3:30pm
Boffins in tasteless gag breakthrough

Scientists say they have perfected a computer which can establish precisely how soon after the death of a celebrity it is acceptable to make a tasteless joke at their expense., A team from the...

clicktingstampz 18.04.12 3:13pm
Dave Should Go To Euros Says Mate

After scoring the winning goal in the local Seven a side pub finals Dave’s mate has made the case for him to lead the line for England this summer. It continued his fine form this season, the peak...

Hooch 18.04.12 2:57pm
Minister in hot water for boiling a homophobic swede. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 18.04.12 2:46pm
Al OPecia
Onlookers horrified at Jim Davidson's cake on Sweedish Master Chef 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 2:41pm
London 2012 Games motto revealed: 'Our logo still looks utter shite' 0
pinxit 18.04.12 2:37pm
Government to excile Boris Johnson to Spain for period of 2012 Olympics 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 2:35pm
Robert Mugabe in ‘racist cake’ controversy

Robert Mugabe is facing hushed whispers to step down after he was photographed cutting a cake in the form of naked Swedish culture minister, Lena Adelsohn. The incident involving Mr Mugabe happened...

Old Hat 18.04.12 2:27pm
Old Hat
BBC hopes for summer ratings winner with "Underwater Masterchef" 0
Nails UK 18.04.12 1:52pm
Nails UK
Doctors unite to fight obesity with ridicule

Organisations representing nearly every doctor in the UK have come together to promote ridicule as the most effective measure in combating obesity. Royal Medical Colleges spokesman Prof Terence...

Mandy Lifeboat 18.04.12 1:47pm
Nails UK
'Run faster you bastards' revealed as 2012 Olympic motto 1
jp1885 18.04.12 1:39pm
Abu Qatada can't be deported until "Homeland" series ends, says Euro-Court

Home Secretary, Theresa May's latest attempt to deport radical preacher Abu Qatadar, has failed after it was blocked by the European Court of Human Rights. Qatadar's lawyers lodged their appeal with...

Hideous 18.04.12 1:36pm
Food poisoning epidemic traced to Guardian's 'Keep Clam And Carry On' feature

.., .. hat tip to jp1885 on a parallel track....

cinquecento 18.04.12 1:33pm
Anders Breivik barred from court due to smirking ban

more slappable racist tosh soon...

Skylarking 18.04.12 1:31pm
Mussel comes out as bivalve

.. more shellfish humour soon...

cinquecento 18.04.12 1:18pm
Man finds his dream date at a surreal fruit stall 0
Smart Alex 18.04.12 1:10pm
Smart Alex
Internet forums in crisis after IMHO revealed to mean ‘In My Hairy Orifice’ 0
jp1885 18.04.12 12:52pm
‘Keep Calm and Regularly Check Your Prostate’ a slogan too far say consumers

Charity group Cancer Research UK has come under fire from angry consumers after its latest awareness campaign: ‘Keep Calm and Regularly Check Your Prostate’, was blasted as taking the popular...

jp1885 18.04.12 12:43pm
North Koreans claim rocket launch was "Titanic Tribute"

The North Koreans have claimed that their rocket crashing and sinking into the sea was, in fact, a carefully planned tribute to the Titanic which sank 100 years ago. "It seems very insensitive to...

apepper 18.04.12 12:42pm
Study finds that teenagers are lazy bastards. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 18.04.12 12:34pm
Londoners complain about their looted TVs as analogue signal is switched off. 0
dominic_mcg 18.04.12 12:31pm
Punter stands to win millions on deadly bet

A Woking man will be following Sunday's London Marathon with more than a little interest as he stands to win over two million pounds from the bookies if a certain runner suffers a fatality. After...

pinxit 18.04.12 12:28pm
Unemployment falls by number put inside for rioting 0
rustytruss 18.04.12 12:11pm
64% of English people think 'auld lang syne' is a Burmese dissident. 0
bonjonelson 18.04.12 12:00pm
Amazon launches Rekindle for lapsed readers 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 12:00pm
Snooker world championship in doubt as Blackball demands more money

The premier event of snooker was today thrown into disarray as reports surfaced today that the 'Blackball' has refused to take part in this years event unless her wage demands are met. Blackball is...

yens123 18.04.12 11:34am
Your cut out and keep guide to Fracking

With Fracking all over the news, the government has sought to put the public’s fear at ease in a manner similar to the tanker drivers dispute, by changing some of terms, names and reported side...

Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 11:32am
iPhone brings an end to UK unemployment

UK unemployment was slashed to an all-time low of zero last night, after the Government controversially rebranded poncing around with an iPhone as a full-time career., iPhone-using twonks will now...

clicktingstampz 18.04.12 11:12am
New "Google Glasses" help alcoholics stay on-line

The new glasses, with a 2-inch square screen at the bottom, readable through up to four inches of beer or a standard double Scotch, and with standard mouse controls around the rim, permit drunks to...

Tom55 18.04.12 10:43am