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Cillit to add Bang to Durex. More takeover news soon. 2
Ostsee 3 years
Troops needed back home to protect Prince William insist MOD 1
edward hack 3 years

Sources within the MOD have confirmed that troops being pulled out of Iraq in 2011 are needed back in North Wales as further protection for Prince William., It is understood the Prince has decided...

Envelope teething trouble mars launch of 0
simonjmr 3 years
Ponce to be Grilled by Dunce 2
afternoonslow 3 years

Palace of Westminster who who procures Mps will be held to account by Dictaror's Bum-Boy Clegg & Straw.the vacuum at the heart of Westminster...

World's Most Apt Book Title Award goes to: 1
Nick McCarr 3 years

"Complete Idiot's Guide to Getting a Tattoo.", (yes I saw it in the shop today)...

Lawyers seek royalties from ticket machines prone to jargon and overcharging 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
White, blonde, blue-eyed baby born to black woman ‘probably not mine’ says Boris 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Birmingham Council 'failing children' by not beating Brummie out of them 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Tesco set up GUM clinics in attempt to straddle customers' needs. 3
SingingHinny 3 years

First it was mobile phones and then pet insurance, now Tesco has beaten its rivals to yet another landmark by launching its own sexual health service. The so-called ‘Testco’ clinics are to be...

Court told of Tasered sex life 0
hero2zero 3 years

Mr Nobbs, recently Tasered by the 50,000 Volt device in his genitals told the court, today of how his sex life has been blighted. How his wife of seventeen years had left him, unable to face his...

Malaria may end Cheryl's singing career - Jedward booked to tour Tanzania. 0
wallster 3 years
T’Pau fans celebrate as ‘China in Your Hand’ released yet again. 0
Stan Laurel 3 years

T’Pau fans everywhere rejoiced at the news of the umpteenth release of the band’s mega globe topper ‘China in Your Hand’. The band, celebrating their 23rd consecutive year on the Morrison...

Home office workers award selves bonus lie-in 'quite often to be honest' 0
QorbeQ 3 years

'This working from home thing is bloody fab'. More soon...

'Scottish doctors are useless' says Megrahi 'I'm actually a woman' 1
Griffin 3 years

More balls up soon...

Charity Camouflage used to fund “Jolly of a Lifetime” 4
Golgo13 3 years

Spurred by Prime Minister David Cameron’s “Big Society” policy drive, 22-year-old history graduate Oliver Underwood has decided to take on a grueling 3-month jolly to raise money and awareness...

Somerset Man Discharges Groin into Police Taser 4
Sharpehunter 3 years

An inquiry is underway by the IPPC (Independent Police Complaints Commission following an incident in Bridgewater on 13th July. Traffic Officer, Barry Stokes claims that in the normal course of his...

Gary McKinnon could hack into oil spill and bring it to a halt, suggests Camero 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

David Cameron's policy wonks believe have come up with a neat solution to the continuing oil spill in the Gulf, and a convicted hacker with a talent for bringing systems to a halt., INSERT REST OF...

Moat Facebook tribute: why celebrate a murderer, asks BBC star Leslie Grantham 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

BBC celebrity creation Leslie Grantham has spoken out about the 'sick' Facebook tribute pages that appear to celebrate the achievements of a man who earned his notoriety by murdering an innocent...

Scientists claim "belly button" key to success; English success not certain 1
thackaray 3 years

Coalition to replace prison population with ‘branding by tattoo’ 2
fernandomando 3 years

Kenneth Clarke today announced that the coalition government would soon be introducing new alternatives to prison, in a bid to save money yet maintain public confidence in the criminal justice system...

New Police Campaign Targets the Dangers of Entering White Tents 0
mugwump 3 years

A new police information campaign targeting the dangers of entering white tents, surrounded with “POLICE LINE - DO NOT CROSS” tape, has been launched by the home office., Chief inspector Ralph...

DIY court wins MPs' backing 0
sauce 3 years

The inspiring promise of the coalition's Big Society has been taken up by Lincoln's Inn's barristers who will run their own court, funded by central financing for national crown courts. 'My learned...

Acdmies Bill 'not being rushed' says Gove 0
rickwestwell 3 years
Computer scientist unable to find Ctrl-Alt-Del function on wife 5
Oxbridge 3 years
UK in AUK Name Change 2
mugwump 3 years

The prime minister today announced that from 1st January 2011, the new official name for the country will be "AUK" or "A United Kingdom", in order to place the UK at the top of website drop down box,...

Dead celebrities lead the way towards a better Britain. 1
wallster 3 years

The government has today promised a new drive to help improve public morale during these troubled financial times. Culture minister Ed Vaizey announced the policy at a press conference by the...

Scientist claims mid-life crisis reason for driving instructor trainee increase 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Police also uphold this claim, citing several unsavoury cases where podgy, balding men who have given up 20 years in IT, have tried to introduce young females to the seedier sides of life One...

Study into public sector overmanning unveils two identical Prime Ministers 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

An investigation into duplication in the public sector has exposed two identical public school boys doing the prime minister's job - each on full wages., Further probing found that the nation now...

newsbisquit credit rating downgraded 0
4ty2 3 years

Following the presentation of "have you been injured" by the accident advice helpline represent the beginning adverts indicates the reduction in marketing value of the site. As interactive marketing...

Student ‘traumatised’ after library visit horror 8
roybland 3 years

An undergraduate who mistook his university's library for a bar is being offered counselling to help him recover from the trauma. Third year geography student Bill Wilkinson said he was on his way...