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Mr Falafel 'sick of being asked if he sells falafels'

A Lincoln businessman is considering changing the name of his city centre takeaway just two weeks after first opening its doors to the public, saying he is sick and tired of telling people "about...

Idiot 02.07.13 9:49am
Lindy Moone
Majorette champion glad she gave it a twirl. 0
weematt 02.07.13 9:45am
Dissertation on burnt custard

Neat-O …., Burnt custard, or as they say in France, Crème Brûlée , has not always been a popular desert. Indeed, it did not exist until it was 'discovered' quite by accident in a French kitchen...

weematt 02.07.13 9:14am
Mandela quickly recovered when threatened with NHS treatment

It has now been confirmed that the South African leader spent the last few weeks malingering just for the sake of a comfortable bed and being waited on hand and foot by nurses. The health trust is...

sydalg 02.07.13 9:07am
Sacked elephant handler 'not quite up to the tusk' says boss 5
Dick Everyman 02.07.13 8:55am
Lindy Moone
Controlling stroke victim wife 'in critical condition' 0
Oxbridge 02.07.13 8:03am
Humourless heart attack victim 'in serious condition' 0
Oxbridge 02.07.13 8:01am
Man trampled by horse 'in stable condition' 0
Oxbridge 02.07.13 7:59am
Depressed cartographer wonders where it all went wrong. 4
sredni vashta 02.07.13 7:40am
MP's to be paid in fresh organs

In a compromise agreement Commons Speaker, John Bercow, has agreed not block the proposed £10,000 pay rise for politicians, provided they are remunerated with "flesh of the proletariat". Voters had...

Wrenfoe 02.07.13 7:35am
Powerful Women Prefer Brooms And Mangles To Vacuum Cleaners And Spin Driers 1
Titus 02.07.13 7:23am
Lindy Moone
Two paths diverge in an ORANGE wood

And wishing I could travel both, And be one traveller long I stood, And looked down one as far as I could, To where it bent in the undergrowth I shall be saying this with a sigh, Somewhere ages...

blacklesbianandproudofit 02.07.13 7:03am
UK Government Congratulates China On Destruction Of Smethwick

"A great improvement" said a spokesman for British Tourism...

Titus 02.07.13 7:03am
Sensitive sunbather complains that factor 50 cream burnt her skin 3
Arthur 02.07.13 6:59am
Lindy Moone
Future English Transplant Patients May Get Filled With Welsh Rare Bits

But how about the presumtion of consent by the recipients of parts of Organ Morgan?...

Titus 02.07.13 6:44am
Diplomatic Row With China After Their Lanterns Set Entire UK Ablaze 0
Titus 02.07.13 6:24am
[Entry withdrawn due to obscurity and frailty on contributor's own admission] 2
Arthur 02.07.13 6:17am
Smethwick dairy offers free crème brûlée to firefighters for a week 0
Arthur 01.07.13 10:57pm
Egyptian Army Says "Play nicely Or We'll Shoot You. Oh, And Tidy Your Room." 0
Titus 01.07.13 10:42pm
Smethwick attempt to create largest ever Crème Brûlée ends in disaster 0
FlashArry 01.07.13 10:26pm
Nelson Mandela makes rapid recovery after Oscar Pistorius offers to visit him 1
custard cream 01.07.13 10:24pm
Bucolic plague threatens urbanites 0
Dick Everyman 01.07.13 10:06pm
Dick Everyman
Fighting breaks out as Dyslexic & Paediatric Associations hold AGM at same venue 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.07.13 9:55pm
Clegg's payrise speech to be dubbed to Beatles 'Can't Buy Me Love'

After an 'independent review' decreed that it is fair and equitable to raise MP's salaries by at least 10%, the deputy Prime Minister today made another of the trademark speeches. Matching the peak...

Squudge 01.07.13 9:40pm
Man in predicament baffled why no one responds to his emails 0
Dumbnews 01.07.13 9:40pm
Michael Gove confesses he'd like to punch himself in the face. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 01.07.13 9:14pm
custard cream
Man with common blood group and intensive gaze was "Starey O-Type" 2
ronseal 01.07.13 9:09pm
'Democracy not all its cracked up to be' claim Eygptians 0
Mandy Lifeboat 01.07.13 9:00pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Britain's payday loan sharks to face regulator with "less teeth" 1
ginty 01.07.13 8:30pm
UN announces global talent competition to discover Ultimate Super Villain.

The UN has just announced that it is to launch a Worldwide talent hunt in the hope of discovering a "James Bond style" super villain in the hope of unifying Mankind against an appallingly dangerous...

sredni vashta 01.07.13 7:40pm