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Olymics committee sues molecule for copyright infringement

LOCOG has been granted an injunction at the high court against the so-called Olympicine molecule for its continued existence. The five-ringed molecule has been impounded by court bailiffs, and is...

0
C3-PO 28.05.12 7:08am
C3-PO
'Heartless' Cheryl Cole slammed for refusing dying fan a hand job

As he fought his last battle with bowel cancer, 57-year-old Swindon accounts manager Raymond Carruthers always knew what his last wish was for: 'I want a hand job off Cheryl Cole. That would be the...

12
Oxbridge 28.05.12 6:25am
arthurminnit
Local council installs tramp after clerical error

Disabled and elderly residents of a small West Midlands town have reacted angrily, following the installation of a tramp outside their local library., Wheelchair user Jack Payne had campaigned for...

0
Underconstruction 28.05.12 6:03am
Underconstruction
Million pound fire at super discounter causes 300,000 pounds worth of damage. 0
Maverick 28.05.12 2:07am
Maverick
Oldham resident in narrow escape; emigrates to Australia. 0
Maverick 28.05.12 2:02am
Maverick
New safety fears raised over GM crops after modified wheat attacks protestors

The long-term viability of genetically-modified crops has been called into question after members of the anti-GM group Take The Flour Back were viciously assaulted by roaming wheat columns larger...

4
Gary Stanton 27.05.12 11:05pm
Yikes
German tourists "could be given smaller towels" warn Greek hoteliers. 1
nickb 27.05.12 10:37pm
dvo4fun
Inventor of TV remote revived by rolling batteries around a bit 11
charlies_hat 27.05.12 9:29pm
godly1966
Blatter wants penalty alternative after English team victorious again

(inspired by [url=http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/18205513]this bbc article[/url]) Fifa president Sepp Blatter has asked Bayern Munich honorary president Franz Beckenbauer to come up with an...

1
Andy_K 27.05.12 8:46pm
godly1966
Baroness Warsi hopeful of avoiding stoning over expenses scandal 0
roybland 27.05.12 6:26pm
roybland
Disillusioned Instructor Washes Her Hands of Pilates

More to follow...

5
Iggy Pop-Barker 27.05.12 5:30pm
Thor
Archaeologists discover banjo in neolithic burial site. More soon.

I wonder if there is any more than a ticker to this?...

3
Al OPecia 27.05.12 5:27pm
Thor
Tracey Emin exhibits another load of old bollocks

Artist Tracey Emin's latest collection of old bollocks has been exhibited on Sunday's Andrew Marr show on BBC1. 'It was another brilliant exhibition of Tracey's unique talent for talking complete...

1
roybland 27.05.12 3:32pm
Al OPecia
Spotty underachiever identifies oxymoron. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 27.05.12 1:56pm
dominic_mcg
As compromise prisoners are to be given right to vote in Eurovision Song Contest 0
Ian Searle 27.05.12 11:28am
Ian Searle
Advert: From the makers of Botox - Bollox for men– for no-wrinkle nuts.

You know that taking the lines away from your face makes you look and feel younger but men, what about those give away nutsack wrinkles? Always wanted a smooth pairdrop but stuck with a serrated...

0
weematt 27.05.12 10:21am
weematt
Humper-stinks claim rest of Europe (and Israel).

No more soon please...

0
MADJEZ 27.05.12 8:50am
MADJEZ
Insufficient little boxes on Eurovision voting form claims Humperdink ...

No more croon...

0
Kramaring 27.05.12 8:31am
Kramaring
G8 Summit blame game as financial crisis lurches from subprime to ridicule US

After a week of stalemate following the G8 Summit, the eight leaders have decided to pin all the blame for the financial crisis on George W Bush as they launched the so-called “war on error”....

0
Yikes 27.05.12 8:29am
Yikes
Comedy writers fury at Catholic Church

Comedy writers are expressing outrage at the behaviour of the Vatican. A spokesman explained, "We think of something silly for comedic affect only for the Vatican to do it, and then go even further....

0
apepper 27.05.12 8:24am
apepper
Male contraceptive pill "too late for Jeremy Clarkson's father"

Scientists have successfully developed a male "pill". "Obviously, this could be a huge breakthrough in population control.", explained one doctor, "But sadly too late to prevent some calamities."...

0
apepper 27.05.12 8:21am
apepper
Tim Cook, Apple's CEO, 'f***ing furious' at reports he's not as scary as Jobs

Accusations that he's not as big a bastard as Steve Jobs has sent Apple's CEO Tim Cook into what Apple insiders are calling the scariest rage tsunami since Jobs beat the shit out of an erring Apple...

0
roybland 27.05.12 7:38am
roybland
Leaders behind the breakup of Soviiet Union and former Slavic states...

finally admit that it was all a callous attempt to secure more voting rights at Eurovision...

0
Smart Alex 27.05.12 7:03am
Smart Alex
UK loses Eurovision, "somebody else's fault" says Cameron

As the UK's results in Eurovision slumped again, Cameron says "we've got a strong song, but unless Greece gets its act together then its nil points for us" Vince Cable retorted earlier this morning,...

0
ionb 27.05.12 5:31am
ionb
Greece set to host 2013 Drachmavision contest 1
Skylarking 26.05.12 11:04pm
Yikes
Government hails success of 'Topless Jobless' scheme

The government has today hailed the success of it's 'Topless Jobless' legislation that it launched last Monday. The new law means men who have never been in employment must walk around city centres...

1
Perks 26.05.12 10:52pm
Yikes
Queen Sells Up to Back Jubilee Campaign

In an unprecedented act of royal generosity, the Queen is to mark her Diamond Jubilee by selling her extensive range of palaces and other properties and donating the proceeds to the Jubilee Debt...

1
Iggy Pop-Barker 26.05.12 10:49pm
Yikes
Jessica Ennis sets new world record for ‘snatch ads’ revenue

Jessica Ennis, British gold medal hopeful for the Olympic heptathlon, has today signed a record sponsorship deal for so-called ‘snatch ads’. Agent Alison Sanders explained that the ads are...

4
Des Custard 26.05.12 10:44pm
Yikes
Temperatures Hotter Than A Topless Lucy Pinder Says Experts 2
Hooch 26.05.12 9:25pm
dvo4fun
Tongue-tied MP's admit they were afraid to ask "where the Warsi rent went"

more soon. By better writers...

0
VictorMeldrew 26.05.12 9:22pm
VictorMeldrew