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Goldman Sachs nativity play ruined as selfish kids stand to film mummy and daddy 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

The annual nativity play at Goldman Sachs is being ruined by pushy kids who stand up to film their precious parents, ruining the view for others. It's got so bad that the CEO of Goldman Sachs has...

Vince Cable demands Mr Sheen to clean his desk. 0
deskpilot3 3 years

Can't bear to see anyone with Pledge...

Tasers most effective on ‘little dogs who tug sideways on their leads’ 10
allmyownstunts 3 years

Police have revealed that Taser guns are their number one deterrent of choice in tackling the scourge of over-eager little dogs who pull so excitedly on their leads that they appear to be travelling...

After success on Strictly, Ann Widdecombe launches new perfume. 1
surdoux 3 years

Aimed at the older generation 'Widdle' is described as a subtle blend of digestive biscuits and wee, and hopes to cash in on the success of her recent spectacular dance success...

Met Office in 'illegal detention' probe 0
Mrblacker 3 years

The Metropolitan Police have confirmed they are investigating allegations of kidnapping, torture and illegal detention at the Met Office. The accusations against the UK's leading weather forecasting...

Apple launch the iGod... 3
Dexter 3 years

a portable, lightweight and (inevitably) white MP3 thing that allows the devout to download all their favourite sermons, prayers, psalms and hymns from the iloons store. Like all Apple products it...

Duke Rants Royally 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

That's the 'Duke' formerly known as Prince. New TV shows with working titles 'Grumpy Old Royals' and 'Moanarchy' will go head to head at the 3am monday morning slot. Royals will give their...

HMS Invincible Internet Sale 'Buy it Now' or 'Best Offer' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Only one careful 'couldn't give a monkey's' owner. No returns accepted. 'we don't need no aircraft carriers'...

New label for strong beers: ‘Drink responsibly, especially on a school night'... 0
Doylem 3 years
JFK classroom note calling teacher a 'tit' thought to be earliest wikileak. 0
J-Bird 3 years
Vince Cable admits "my head hurts" 0
Waggys Dog 3 years

Coalition Business Secretary Vince Cable has admitted he does not know the difference between a pledge to voters, and a promise to Nick Clegg and David Cameron to support tuition fee rises - and the...

Compulsory Snoods to be Trialled in Yorkshire Sunday League 0
De-scribe 3 years
Business Card Draw in Corruption Scandal 0
MC One R 3 years

The monthly business card draw at The Lamb & Ferret gastropub today erupted in accusations of corruption, as allegations of bribery were made against landlord Tony Inchpractice. The allegations...

Snowfall 'The Size of Wales' Falls on Wales 2
De-scribe 3 years
Student protesters kettle themselves to keep warm. 2
Erlang 3 years

The Police put the kettle on and we intended to take the kettle off but we put it on again to keep warm said student protester Sukey. A Police spokesman expressed relief the students' tribute to...

EU to look up on Google. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
'Put More Shit on Your Dashboard' Government Tells White Van Man 1
De-scribe 3 years

New Regulations come into force today aimed at boosting the economy by increasing the level of rubbish that must be displayed in the front windows of all commercial vans. The Dashboard Detritus...

Wikileeks to publish 250,000 internal documents from the Welsh Assembly 7
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Public health role for councils to begin with fortnightly collection of the sick 3
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Queen buys HMS Invincible as Xmas pressy for Prince Andrew 0
A Crooked MP 3 years

Palace reports indicate that the Queen was "not amused" about the colonials having a pop at beloved child. Hopefully Andrew can use the carrier to launch pre emptive strikes on importunate diplomats...

Fresh violence at student protest. Police claim balls of frozen water thrown. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Weathermen accuse newsreaders of stealing their 'big snow stories'. 0
J-Bird 3 years

More on this soon as the snowballs begin to fly...

Drop in numbers of unemployed small people and transvestites a seasonal blip. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

Oh yes it is!!!...

Concerns as Kim Jong-Il plans "biggest ever firework display" for New Years Eve. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
World War 3 on the cards as Wikileaks reveals US Christmas list 0
ianslat 3 years

The world's military was put on standby earlier today following revelations regarding the US's planned Christmas purchasing policy published on Wikileaks. The crisis reached a head earlier today...

Falling birth-rate hits Johnson’s Baby Oil production 5
crlncxn 3 years

Newly-released UK census figures show a strong slowdown in the birth-rate, giving rise to speculation that families anticipated hard times by having fewer children., "It’s a complete disaster for...

Cabinet to appoint 'designated scapegoat' for the Christmas Period. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Electrician’s Picassos were from his 'blue, brown, green / yellow period'. 0
malgor 3 years
Price of Ginger Bread Houses falls for the second consecutive Christmas. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

According to a report from Estate Agents Hansel and Gretal...

Daily Mail asks, "St Andrew, is he worth his salt?" 0
Ian Searle 3 years

And what made St Joan such a bright spark?...