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NASA admits its new West Coast service ‘a bit slow’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.10.12 9:20am
Duncan Biscuit
Boost for independence campaign as Cameron visits Scotland 0
Duncan Biscuit 15.10.12 9:19am
Duncan Biscuit Newcastle Utd told to 'go out and give it 4,200%' 2
Oxbridge 15.10.12 8:54am
Responsibly-sourced drugs to be stamped with high-as-a-kite mark... 0
Tripod 15.10.12 8:42am
Pre-cast habitat rejected after panda eats shoots and leaves with broken teeth.

Neat-O (I find this concrete jungle concept almost impenetrable.)...

weematt 15.10.12 8:26am
Leading Fromologist discovers meaning of 'Fromology' on day of retirement

Britain’s leading Fromologist has finally discovered what it was that he was supposed to be doing, just hours before his official retirement. Dr Tristan Moorchamps, 68, has enjoyed the trappings...

15.10.12 8:09am
BBC radio 1 employees report Mother Teresa heroin dealing

Several prominent BBC TV and Radio presenters have spoken of witnessing crack and heroin dealing in the 1970’s and 80’s by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Although she died in 1997, and now cannot...

charlies_hat 15.10.12 7:20am
Foxconn iPhone 5 brawl ends 18% quicker than iPhone 4 brawl. 4
andydog 15.10.12 3:55am
Space Jump Deemed Bad Form Of Transportation 0
Hooch 15.10.12 2:00am
Time machine takes fifthteen years to travel twenty years into the future

The world’s first time traveller has embarked on his fifteen year journey to twenty years in the future, it has been announced. Chosen for the mission is US Air Force Pilot Captain Louie...

Hooch 15.10.12 1:02am
One of the Keith Campbells who cloned Dolly the Sheep dies

One of the five-hundred and seventy-eight thousand-million Keith Campbells whose pioneering research resulted in the cloning of Dolly the Sheep has died. There have been occasional rumours of human...

apepper 14.10.12 10:07pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Man must sleep on street after following loft insulation advice.

"Every time they put up the price of gas, the advice the gas company gives is to add 6 inches of insulation to my loft," explains Mr Boon, staggering back from B&Q with eight rolls of yellow...

Boutros 14.10.12 10:03pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Keith Lemon ‘no longer outrageous’ according to polls

Keith Lemon, the alter ego of comedian Leigh Francis is no longer outrageous according to recent opinion polls. All of his latest attempts at obscenity and depravity are flat-lining as audiences...

Dick Everyman 14.10.12 9:32pm
Dick Everyman
Turkey solves Winter problem

In one fell swoop, Turkey has solved its territorial and heating problems. The Turkish Military are to fill their air space with 10 000ft of thermal insulation material., Air Force General Hakki...

Cinders 14.10.12 8:39pm
Angry torch bearing mob bricks in all the windows on Savile Row shops 0
ronseal 14.10.12 8:14pm
British Gas customers encouraged to ‘warm up on a big rock’

As energy prices soared by another 6% in recent days, British Gas has offered advice to people who stubbornly rely on warmth to stay alive. Pointing out that some reptiles have adapted to the cold...

Nunnion Splendacular 14.10.12 7:02pm
Nunnion Splendacular
Turkey bans chickens from its airspace 2
14.10.12 6:59pm
Concrete jungle tougher to crack than abstract expressionism. 0
sigmund 14.10.12 6:09pm
Cheetah fined for using special Wildebeest lanes

A Cheetah has received a record fine and faces having his license revoked after repeatedly flouting the new Concrete Jungle Traffic Management system (dubbed 'Moto-Moto' by CJ motorists). The...

Squudge 14.10.12 5:54pm
Emu accuses Rod Hull in latest Celebrity abuse Claim ...

He oftern touched me inappropriatly Emu claims even when we were live on air!...

14.10.12 5:54pm
MOD announces new name for Territorial Army - The Taleban 0
custard cream 14.10.12 5:46pm
custard cream
Germany settles holocaust restitution claim: 'We paid our Jews' declares Merkel 1
Stanleys Dad 14.10.12 5:42pm
Territorial Army to be renamed 'Cannon Fodder' 0
14.10.12 5:33pm
PPI firms busy re-tooling for lucrative Savile-compensation market 2
Idiot 14.10.12 4:48pm
Queen adds to Savile abuse claims

In a recent press release by the Monarchy, The Queen has admitted to being fondled and then propositioned by the late Sir Jimmy Savile, fuelling allegations of sex abuse by the former BBC DJ and TV...

14.10.12 3:51pm
Cull 'big sett-back' for badgers, experts warn 0
roybland 14.10.12 3:44pm
School girl wets knickers at thought of Gove's 'awesome' history curriculum

Twelve-year-old Anthea Wills says she's beside herself with excitement at the prospect of history lessons when education secretary Michael Gove's new history curriculum is introduced into schools....

roybland 14.10.12 3:40pm
Time travel experiment 'over before it began' admit scientists 1
Stanleys Dad 14.10.12 3:08pm
Dudley plumber Jimmy Saville forced to flee by ill-informed mob

Jimmy Saville, a 45 year old plumber from Dudley is the latest name-a-like forced to relocate to Farnton, a secluded, high security village in Suffolk created especially for individuals who share...

BAJDixon 14.10.12 2:36pm
EU awarded Nobel Peace Prize for being too broke to start any wars... 2
Tripod 14.10.12 2:32pm