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Nicholas Parsons to become “Preferred” FIFA fourth official. 0
FoxyCoxy 4 years

Seb Blatter is said to be in advanced negotiations with octogenarian quiz show host Nicholas Parsons to appoint him as the fourth official in all important soccer matches. In a move designed to avoid...

Promiscuous gay bishops 'risk being defrocked' 3
4 years
Patient unlikely to win battle with health insurer, says Vet 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Absent fathers who drink and drive to get their own comparison website 0
Qoxiivi 4 years

Not a duplication, have just expanded it into a possible NiB, fp, whatever: Absent drink-driving fathers, thrown into confusion recently as to which pejorative simile best describes them, are to now...

Cameron compares drink-driving absent fathers with 'AIDS-ridden pig fuckers' 22
4 years

Tonight, David Cameron compared so-called 'absent fathers' to drink drivers. The move was intended to stigmatise young men who play no part in the raising of their children. However, it immediately...

God's not as bad as a drink driver, says Archbishop 0
roybland 4 years

God is not a 'runaway dad' as bad as a drink driver, says the Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams in a strong attack on David Cameron. 'Yesterday, Father's Day,' Dr Williams told reporters,...

Santa Claus condemned by David Cameron as being 'absent father' 1
John Wiltshire 4 years

David Cameron today launched a blistering attack on Santa Claus as being all that's worst in absentee fathers., 'This is exactly what I mean,' he thundered. 'He calls himself a Father - Father...

Elton John to be appointed Archbishop of Canterbury 0
John Wiltshire 4 years

With the Church of England having agreed to appoint openly gay clergy, the way has been cleared for Elton John to be appointed the new Archbishop of Canterbury., A Church of England spokesman said:...

Thatcher’s assault on the unions ‘all a terrible spelling mistake’ 0
fernandomando 4 years

A recent Freedom of Information Act disclosure has revealed that Margaret Thatcher’s assault on the trade union movement in the 1980s was all down to a spelling mistake by a junior civil servant....

Multimillionaire, Living In Posh Cul de Sac In Westminster.... 1
Jesse Bigg 4 years

..Abandons the "family" to enjoy the high life with his banker friends., No Father's Day card for him, I guess...

Jamie Oliver Tells LA Kids..... 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

."Cut out the crap food, or hire yourselves out as bouncy castles."...

Talks with Taliban 'going well' as CIA is invited to 'take 5' and stone a woman 1
ronseal 4 years

There are early signs that the CIA's talks with the Taliban are going well, say insiders, as negotiators were invited to take a five minute break and stone a lady. 'It's not all work work work in...

Dual speaker record players at risk of being stereotyped. 0
ronseal 4 years
Greece to be bailed out by Northern Rock 0
John Wiltshire 4 years
Absent fathers who drink and drive to get their own comparison website 2
Qoxiivi 4 years
"At least I'm not a smarmy twat like you are" says absent father 0
antharrison 4 years
Winehouse 'addicted to rehab' claim 0
roybland 4 years
Coalition announce "collateral casualties" in operation to prevent Gaddaffi 1
Ironduke 4 years

from "massacring civilians"...

Drunk driving absentee dad says he's sick of all these comparisons 0
ronseal 4 years
Man who walked berserk down Clapham High Street gets police caution 0
roybland 4 years

A man who walked berserk down Clapham High Street terrifying shoppers, has been given a police caution. ‘We received a call from other pedestrians that a man was walking down Clapham High Street...

Ed Miliband hits back and vows... something. Probably. 0
FraserWords 4 years

more soon, or not...

Couple who bought countryside property 'plan to live in it' - values tumble 0
FraserWords 4 years

Britain’s troubled housing market suffered a new blow today when it was revealed that a countryside home has been bought by somebody who actually plans to live in it., The news immediately sent...

Sunday Express names Daily Mail as principal cause of house price concern 1
Mrblacker 4 years

The Sunday Express is to name a tabloid rival as being the main cause of low house prices across the UK. The paper's 19th June edition will carry a leader that effectively blames the Daily Mail's...

BBC finally admits Total wipeout commissioned by 4 year olds 0
simonjmr 4 years
Selection process for top al-Qaeda job 'unfair' insist rejected candidates 10
Qoxiivi 4 years

The world’s leading international terrorism franchise, al-Qaeda, has today encountered renewed criticism from equality and diversity groups over the fairness and transparency of its employment...

Local mouse finds job at research lab to escape the rat race 0
Dumbnews 4 years
BBC Radio London phone in celebrates one millionth sanctimonious caller 8
ronseal 4 years
Gynaecology departments to introduce ‘champagne treatment’ 0
fernandomando 4 years

In a radical overhaul of funding for NHS gynaecology departments, the government has announced proposals for privately funded supplements to treatments. ‘We have long been searching for a...

Suitcase with pink ribbon tied to handle goes missing 4
roybland 4 years

A black suitcase with a bright pink ribbon tied to its handle has gone missing from Gatwick airport’s luggage carousal. ‘It took me ages to find that ribbon,’ said Mildred Moran (48) who was...

DfT hopes for success with new ‘Think! Bikers, don’t ride like a twat!’ campaign 28
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

The Department for Transport is hoping that their ongoing attempts to make Britain’s roads a safer place for motorcyclists may finally pay off thanks to their latest adverts. Prompted by...