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Tooth Fairy to seek help after admitting "compulsive hoarding" tendencies

The Tooth Fairy today broke down in tears as she admitted she was seeking help for 'pathological orthodontic hoarding tendencies' - a condition which has seen the mythological pixie collect and store...

4
grumblechops 26.05.12 5:48am
Yikes
Crowd gathers at Blackfriars bridge on news of dispatch of Vatican banker 5
medici2471 26.05.12 12:41am
dvo4fun
Hunt deploys Clinton defence "I never had financial relations with that Murdoch" 0
dvo4fun 26.05.12 12:40am
dvo4fun
"None of the Above" Gains Global Poll Lead

In what is considered to be an embarrassment for Political parties and Governments around the world, polling orgnaisations have admitted that they have conclusive data showing that voters in the...

0
simjel 25.05.12 10:32pm
simjel
Man Who Has Fathered 30 Children By 11 Different Women Begs Judge For A Break.

A 33 year old Knoxville, Tennessee man has asked a judge there to 'give him a break' in paying his alimony to 11 women with whom he has fathered 30 children (This is true). Desmond Hatchett, who...

0
25.05.12 10:09pm
Porn actors now having to work longer and harder claims union 1
LittleSpender 25.05.12 8:32pm
RickH
Olympic Torch now running on Emergency Credit

Olympic Officials today admitted they were caught "somewhat offguard" at how frequently they needed to top up the credit on the Pay As You Go gas card which was intended to keep the Olympic Flame...

1
grumblechops 25.05.12 6:07pm
Des Custard
Lloyds head of fraud receives £2.5M bonus for uncovering fraud

Jessica Harper, head of Fraud and Security at Lloyds bank, has received a 7 figure bonus. A bank spokesman explained; "I know this may seem excessive, but Ms Harper has uncovered a truly audacious...

0
apepper 25.05.12 2:51pm
apepper
Humperdink looks cert to be oldest contestant to get 'nil point'.

Nominees sought for next years joke entry...

0
MADJEZ 25.05.12 1:52pm
MADJEZ
Saudi Arabian shoplifting rugby player having trouble with handoff 0
seymour totti 25.05.12 12:33pm
seymour totti
SpaceX Dragon successfully delivers junk mail to International Space Station 0
TerribleTim 25.05.12 10:37am
TerribleTim
£4m fake coin haul: 'We wuz just doin a bit of yer quantitative easin' officer.' 0
weematt 25.05.12 10:28am
weematt
Lloyds former Head of Fraud says she was "just doing her job" 0
Sinnick 25.05.12 9:16am
Sinnick
Student arsonists welcome priority schools building programme

With the end of term just weeks away dissaffected student arsonists have broadly welcomed Education Minister Michael Gove's announcement that some schools are to be refurbished. Rick Woods, 16, of...

1
Mandy Lifeboat 25.05.12 7:00am
dvo4fun
Minimum alcohol pricing could leave tramps ‘dangerously lucid’ warn experts

Experts have warned that government proposals to introduce a minimum price per unit of alcohol could have a devastating effect on the UK’s tramp industry, leaving vagrants facing levels of sobriety...

7
25.05.12 6:57am
dvo4fun
Tesco outsources checkout operators to India

In a bid to halt a decline in profits, Tesco has announced plans to outsource their checkout operators to India. Avoiding eye-contact with customers remotely via an uninteractive ‘tcsh’ screen,...

8
25.05.12 6:55am
Sinnick
Chelsea Flower Show latest: Di Matteo's 'Bunch of Pansies' takes top honour

Hot on the heels of their Champions League success, the lads from Chelsea FC have once again opened their gardens to members of the public for their annual display of horticultural excellence. The...

1
grumblechops 25.05.12 6:44am
Yikes
Transport unions slam use of "baggage handler" as slang for exotic wanking. 0
Lemon difficult 24.05.12 7:20pm
Lemon difficult
This space intentionally blank. 9
Al OPecia 24.05.12 7:07pm
quango
Mladic vows he will sing at Eurovision despite protests

Controversial crooner Ratko Mladic vowed he will represent Serbia at the Eurovision Song Contest with his powerful version of Killing me Softly. He told a packed press conference that he knows...

0
nickb 24.05.12 6:04pm
nickb
Adam Smith 'economical with the truth' 1
Underconstruction 24.05.12 4:14pm
charlies_hat
Dating agency discovers God on its books

Lonely hearts agency DoggerBank.com is celebrating having signed up a major deity. Initially registered as Cowell666, His identity was revealed when staff investigated a number of complaints. ...

0
cinquecento 24.05.12 3:37pm
cinquecento
At Last – an Inguiry into Inquiries

The government has announced the creation of a blue ribbon panel to investigate the sad state of Public Inquires. The government spokesman, Sir John Humpty, has indicated that the panel's brief will...

0
jack 24.05.12 2:50pm
jack
Tommy Cooper named as the new Fez of L'Oreal 0
Nails UK 24.05.12 2:39pm
Nails UK
Irony not lost as "How hard do you work?" feature tops BBC Most Read 0
grumblechops 24.05.12 2:27pm
grumblechops
Bi-sexuals keeps armpits fresh by Trimmingham

More to follow...

1
Underconstruction 24.05.12 2:26pm
Sinnick
Tesco winning back shoppers with 'Really S**t" range

Global supermarket giant Tesco, are said to be winning the battle to regain market share, following the successful launch of their 'Really Shit' range., Head of Sales and Marketing, Fritha Two...

0
Underconstruction 24.05.12 2:21pm
Underconstruction
Greek recession could go on to have "more dips than a meze" 1
Underconstruction 24.05.12 2:18pm
Qoxiivi
Recession 'even better than thought', enthuses Robert Peston 2
24.05.12 2:03pm
Underconstruction
Priority parking becomes most expensive paralympic ticket 0
Underconstruction 24.05.12 1:52pm
Underconstruction