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Need to fund that £750 a day habit? 2
ramblesnake 3 years

Kray Day Loans are here to help. We’ll give anyone up to £750 to buy their drug of choice they can no longer live without. Unlike other unscrupulous lenders, we give a full day, YES! a whole 24...

David Miliband "relieved" he'll finally get chance to run a pub in Abegavenny. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Nick Parke demands royalties for Ed Wallace Miliband success 0
Basil_B 3 years

Parke's also looking carefully at the progress of Gromit aka Margaret Beckett...

David Miliband denies quitting front-bench for better throwing angle. 0
SingingHinny 3 years

David Miliband has denied quitting front-line politics so that he can throw stuff at his younger brother from the back benches. Mr. Miliband announced his decision to retire from the shadow cabinet...

Telegraph readers claim leaked letters are worth triple in Scrabble 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Blairite to Follow on to After Dinner Circuit. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

"What's the point of politics unless you can fill yer boots. This is the bit i've really been working for' said a Blairite practising a mid atlantic accent...

Man disappointed with 3D TV after discovering it was just a window. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

The man, who has asked not to be named, first had his suspicions aroused when the ‘technicians’ who installed it began knocking hold in his wall. However, he was assured that this was just to...

Actors 'concerned' over Sky Plus Festival of Theatre 0
Mrblacker 3 years

The actors union Equity says it has major worries over plans for a festival of plays sponsored by the satellite broadcaster Sky. Productions of [i]Waiting for Godot[/i], [i]The Caretaker[/i] and...

Legal Firms launch ‘£5.99 - DIY Super Injunction Kit’ for the man in the street! 13
Sharpehunter 3 years

The recent trend by Celebrities to secure Super Injunctions in a bid to prevent the media from printing often true, sometimes scurrilous, but generally entertaining and bizarre revelations against...

Commonwealth Games Opening and Closing Ceremonies combined ....... 6
Stan Laurel 3 years

Commonwealth Games Opening and Closing Ceremonies combined to save everyone the bother. There was immense relief last night when it was confirmed that the Commonwealth Games was be shortened to...

Ed reacts to brother's frontbench resignation: 'Catflap always open for David.' 0
pinxit 3 years
Monkees to provide security and song for Commonwealth Games.. 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Here we come, swingin', Dehli's streets,, We get the funniest looks from, Ev'ry one we meet., Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, And people say we monkey around., But we're too busy patrolling, The...

Monkees to provide security and song for Commonwealth Games.. 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Loser Quits. 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Today a loser said he was going to quit. "I've thought about it for a while now. Quitting looks the best option for me", he said...

Charity shop tat slick threatening Cornish coastline 0
Oxbridge 3 years

The pristine coast of North Cornwall, home to some of Britain's most beautiful scenery, faces a new menace tonight after at least 500,000 barrels of utter crap from charity shops leaked from an...

Punch Up In Pub After Ape 'Slur' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

A fight broke out after one man kept insisting to another that somewhere in his family history there were monkeys. After yelling 'No one calls me a ffing monkey' he lept up onto the bar and began...

Intelligence agencies uncovers Salvation Army plot to "reconstruct" Pakistan 0
thackaray 3 years

Intelligence agencies uncovers militant Salvation Army plot to "reconstruct" Pakistan Western Intelligence agencies have warned the public about an impending plot by the Salvation Army, to sow...

R4 Listeners stunned as Montague tells Ed Miliband 'Blow your nose man!' 11
pinxit 3 years

Or is it just me?...

Studies reveal planet of the apes nearer to happening than we think. 6
Basil_B 3 years

Findings made by an institute set up for studying primates based in Nigeria show that chimpanzee's will buck the trend of evolution and will overtake mankind as the most intelligent form of life on...

Ed Milliband resigns after Kinnock endorsement. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years

"It was like being visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future", said leader...

Justin Beaver denys his range of lookalike dolls for teenage girls 6
arrghgarry 3 years

will have vibrating heads...

Israel and Palestine 'on same side' over disputed Moebius Strip 6
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Clearasil chairman arrested in spot-fixing investigation 1
rickwestwell 3 years
D.M forced from front bench by Twitter… 0
mshumphreycushion 3 years

David Miliband is expected to announce later today that he will not stand for Shadow Cabinet under his brother Ed’s Leadership. What he will not tell you is the real story behind his decision....

Scritti Polittical MilliBand Reform ... Policies 2
mugwump 3 years

Album to follow with tour, supporting Tutti Frutti Camerooni...

Red Lead 0
euanc 3 years

New red leader for old style socialist party. North Korea ready for next generation - more soon...

'Back to normal for Labour,' says Lord Kinnock 0
Zadok the second 3 years

Kinnock has hailed Ed Miliband's "magnificent" first speech as Labour leader, telling activists: "It's just like the good old days." The former Labour leader said Mr Miliband would bring back the...

Entire Star Wars saga to be converted into heroin, George Lucas announces 0
rickwestwell 3 years

Director George Lucas has reacted swiftly to news that the global recession may not last as long as feared, by announcing a new release of the Star Wars saga in time to suck up the small amount of...

Spot fixing latest - Whistle Blower Blows Whistle 0
DPGumby 3 years

In another hidden camera sting set to rock football to its very core, World Cup final referee Howard Webb has been caught on camera admitting how spot fixing is rife amongst the refereeing fraternity...

Lord Prescott 'envious' over Ed Miliband's claim to 'get it' all the time 0
pinxit 3 years