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British public ‘elated but exhausted’ after trying to watch cycling for a week

Thousands of Brits have expressed their delight at Bradley Wiggins’ Tour de France win, but also admitted that they are ‘mentally and physically drained’ after pretending to be interested in...

Vertically Challenged Giant 25.07.12 7:33am
Tom Daly forced to compete in his pants after forgetting kit yet again

British Olympic medal hopeful Tom Daly has been forced to compete in a warm up event wearing only his pants, as the diver forgot his kit for the 138th consecutive time. ‘I’m really quite...

Vertically Challenged Giant 25.07.12 7:30am
Isle of Wight visit-residents 'amazed' by Queen Victoria's youthful appearance. 0
writinginbsl 25.07.12 7:28am
Prostitutes who declare earnings "Immorally right" says Cameron 1
Drylaw 25.07.12 4:59am
Entrepreneur sentenced to death penalty for abortion of unborn corporation

A man was sentenced to death today for the murder of an unborn corporation. Kurtis Drehmer had conceived a business plan to aid companies in complying with environmental and safety regulations. He...

Archibald Chesley 25.07.12 2:40am
Archibald Chesley
On-line porn pirates enjoy a jolly roger 1
button 24.07.12 10:38pm
Levison inquiry inquiry to start hearing evidence 0
charlies_hat 24.07.12 10:36pm
Did Rebecca Brooks Go Hacking On Police Horse?

This question, and more, won't be investigated fully by the Met, or any politician...

Quaz 24.07.12 10:17pm
Team GB trains in Portugal - to acclimitise to UK weather

Cos its been balmy all June and July...

Alfred Noakes 24.07.12 8:54pm
Alfred Noakes
Olympic security ready to shoot sky writing planes down if they advertise Pepsi

A guerilla marketing plot to fly a skywriting plane over the Olympic stadium has been foiled by security forces as the war on unofficial brand endorsement continues. After a tip off from a G4S...

ronseal 24.07.12 7:49pm
Princess from “Princess and the Pea” archetypal tax dodger, says Labour.

George Osborne tried to further excuse immoral and greedy behaviour within the upper classes and big business by suggesting individuals are keeping huge amounts in offshore accounts due to being...

scottishbird 24.07.12 7:36pm
Hurdles destroyed as Lord Coe’s internal memo causes confusion

There was mayhem today in the Olympic Village as contractors destroyed all the hurdles just days before the athletes arrive. The foreman at the site said, “The guv’nor emailed us saying he...

MiddleofJowhere 24.07.12 6:32pm
"Don't travel into London" letters weren't meant for athletes, LOGOC admits. 0
Boutros 24.07.12 4:58pm
'Put your wad away before the tradesman's entrance' advises Treasury minister 0
pinxit 24.07.12 2:39pm
Rebekah Wade's plumber charged with tapping for cash 0
pinxit 24.07.12 2:34pm
Image of Jesus appears on Jeremy Clarkson's teeth

An image of Jesus has appeared on Jeremy Clarkson's teeth causing confusion amongst the faithful but pleasing the man himself. 'Just because I'm on TV people seem to think I should have perfect...

Carter 24.07.12 2:17pm
Surface missiles lock on as man discovered with five polo mints in his pocket

"At any moment our Olympic trademark could have been infringed" says LOCOG...

JohnA 24.07.12 12:52pm
Tax avoidance morally wrong, claims former Macfarlanes lawyer 1
medici2471 24.07.12 12:43pm
Des Custard
Newly Privatised Spiderman Promises Great Power, No Responsibility 1
thisisall1word 24.07.12 12:10pm
Golgeau Treize
Extra Olympic security to be provided by 'highly trained Al-Qaeda staff'

In a move to ensure there are enough security trained personnel on duty during the Olympics, the government has announced they have signed a contract with another organisation that can supply...

Perks 24.07.12 11:54am
Ronnie Barker's son, Adam, to perform in Porridge 0
Sinnick 24.07.12 11:46am
UK Border Agency in trouble over "skills gap"

The home affairs committee has welcomed plans by the UK Border Agency (UKBA) to create a National Allegations Database to manage information provided by the public on possible immigration violations....

GreyWolf 24.07.12 11:40am
Twitter to reduce tweet characters by 20% tomorrow

Twitter confirmed last night that tweets would be limited to 112 characters with immediate effect, as the global economic downturn continued to depress its revenue streams.  'With the current...

NewSuburbanDad 24.07.12 11:36am
"Cash in Handjobs morally wrong" says Cynthia Payne

Luncheon vouchers...

ginty 24.07.12 11:27am
VISA Approved Prostitutes Will Not Accept Cash In Olympic Village - Warns Coe 0
24.07.12 11:20am
'Cash-in-Hand morally wrong' says minister, 'should be in brown envelopes' 0
Perks 24.07.12 10:29am
New Olympic rules to ban athletes with unfair genetic advantages

Building on regulations that prevent women with unusually high levels of testosterone from competing as women, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) and International Association of Athletics...

ajg4004 24.07.12 8:59am
Hollywood veteran Dick Van Dyke is appointed Cockney rhyming slang Tsar

In a surprise move today legendary entertainer and honorary Pearly King, Dick Van Dyke, has been appointed as Britain's Cockney Rhyming Slang Tsar and has been charged with getting kids at East...

Duff 24.07.12 8:02am
Bashar al-Assad tipped for Nobel peace prize

Syrian president, Bashar al-Assad, is the favourite for the Nobel peace prize after his decision not to gas the civilian population. People in the street paid tribute; "He is a living saint to only...

apepper 24.07.12 7:52am
Surprise as the Nazgûl are drafted in for additional Olympic security 4
Psycadelic Squirrel 24.07.12 5:38am
Psycadelic Squirrel