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After Badger Cull, public call for more Apprentice contestants to be killed 2
Scronnyglonkle 29.08.13 6:17pm
UK hesitates after evidence reveals al-Assad is probably a meerkat

There was an unusual display of political unity between UK political parties earlier this week. Cameron, Clegg and Milliband were all in agreement that the use of chemical weapons could not be...

Squudge 29.08.13 5:32pm
sponge finger
TV latest: Stirling Moss to feature on Who Do You Think You Are? 5
Drylaw 29.08.13 5:26pm
Des Custard
Dr Kelly's successor tweets, 'I'm not feeling suicidal.' 1
Loundshay 29.08.13 5:06pm
Joe Public in Name Change

Joe Public of Worthrop, Lincs, has decided enough is enough and has now officially changed his name., "Years of media references to me, how uneducated, ignorant, oblivious and altogether ambivalent...

Flugelbinder 29.08.13 5:04pm
Miliband to Legalise and Regulate 'Dogging' following Swiss Sex Drive-In Success

In an attempt to boost the ratings of his party, Labour Leader Ed Miliband vows to push through legislation which will make 'Dogging' legal, safe and enjoyable for the masses. Using the Swiss model...

jsparrow 29.08.13 4:48pm
Rolf Harris to Didgeridoo Time

More at the next sunarise!...

davetwojackets 29.08.13 3:22pm
G4 Prison Vans to carry 70's Celeb on Board sticker on back window

Hat tip culchavutcha...

Scronnyglonkle 29.08.13 2:48pm
Cheryl Cole Hits Bum Note

Cheryl Cole is allegedly satisfied that her mission has been accomplished and she is in the news again following the completion of her tattoo. More importantly to her however, is that now when people...

Flugelbinder 29.08.13 1:46pm
I told my GP I was worried about getting Alzheimers, but he told me to forget it 5
John Wiltshire 29.08.13 1:44pm
Gareth 'bails' on Madrid switch over personal terms.

Gareth Bale’s tediously drawn out transfer to Real Madrid was scrapped at the eleventh hour owing to the personal terms Madrid demanded in the contract. The squeaky voiced winger explained in an...

cinnahmon 29.08.13 1:22pm
UN to draft Cyrus resolution

The United Nations Security Council has confirmed that it will draft a resolution on possible military action in Miley Cyrus following her alleged crimes against humanity at this year's Video Music...

Grover 29.08.13 1:01pm
Baby On Board badge makers introduce new slogans

“Not preg just fat” and “we used a condom” are two of the slogans under consideration by Transport for London and other UK urban transport operators. "Baby on Board was an instant hit for...

CulchaVulcha 29.08.13 12:35pm
Stairway to Parkhurst 0
sydalg 29.08.13 12:15pm
We can tell what it is now. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 29.08.13 12:08pm
Assad produces compelling evidence of Labours military guilt 0
Backup Brian 29.08.13 11:28am
Backup Brian
‘Do I know what it is yet? It's starting to look like a stretch in Parkhurst’... 0
Tripod 29.08.13 11:20am
Primark launches new line inspired by what Mrs Dowding wore yesterday

High Street retailer Primark has launched its new clothing line inspired by what Mrs Dowding, 78, of Banbury, wore yesterday., The range features polyester cardigans, flowery skirts, spotty tops and...

Sfox 29.08.13 11:17am
Russia And China Block UN Action Against DEFRA Over Badger Cull 0
Titus 29.08.13 11:00am
'It Wasn't Us' Says DEFRA 'Other, Terrorist Badgers Shot Them'

More lies later...

Titus 29.08.13 10:57am
Lions, Eagles & Giraffes Postpone Threatened Strike Against UK Over Badger Cull

More prevarication later...

Titus 29.08.13 10:54am
New 4G network means you can be a saddo faster

Launching their new 4G network today, a spokesman for Vodafone and O2 hailed it as a huge leap forward. 'This pointless waste of time and money is for serious saddos only,' said Mark McKenzie of...

John Wiltshire 29.08.13 10:52am
John Wiltshire
Shock And Outrage As Farage Rejects Syria Jingoism 0
Titus 29.08.13 10:38am
Confusion of nationalities as Pekingese served in Korean restaurant 0
sydalg 29.08.13 10:14am
Badgers "still have sporting chance" if they avoid Stockwell Tube Station 0
sydalg 29.08.13 10:14am
Grammar fascists’ invade News-Biscuit, 14
godly1966 29.08.13 10:07am
Brian 'badger' May defends badger atrocities

Chief Badger Defender Brian 'badger' May : 'Yes, Tommy 'TB' Brock killed 37,500 cows last year, but cows are bastards and deserve everything they get. Have you not tried badger milk? Delicious.'...

Mfilbee 29.08.13 9:59am
Cabinet votes in favour of considering doing something about Syria. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 29.08.13 9:22am
The question no-one dares ask: Why don't meerkat toys look like the CGI ones?

A 3-year old child today asked the question which everyone has been thinking but no-one has dared to say: Why are the meerkat toys shown on the Compare the Market adverts not like the CGI meerkats? ...

John Wiltshire 29.08.13 8:50am
John Wiltshire
Zeta Jones to concentrate on Being Welsh again 0
Scronnyglonkle 29.08.13 8:45am