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HOROSCOPE week commencing 25th March 2013

HOROSCOPE week commencing 25th March 2013, By Colin the Cosmic Cockerel. ARIES. You will suddenly remember you were wrongly sold PPI insurance. TAURUS. Your lucky number this month is 423456432....

godly1966 20.03.13 8:19am
Osborne poses outside No 11 to launch ‘bring your packed lunch to work day’... 0
Tripod 20.03.13 6:51am
All the collars have been stolen from the local pound

Police still have no leads...

Gary Gonads 20.03.13 4:40am
Paddy Berzinski
Cocaine scratch and sniff cards proves popular with parliament 0
ciderpunk 20.03.13 12:22am
Constipated pensioners' movement welcomes Chancellor's tax relief

more soon hopefully...

Dick Everyman 20.03.13 12:21am
Dick Everyman
Beatles did nothing in particular 50 years ago today - 2 38
Oxbridge 20.03.13 12:02am
The All New Jeni B
Tradesman fails to find round tuit in toolbox 4
Squudge 19.03.13 11:57pm
Dress Diana died in has gone for... dry cleaning... 0
Tripod 19.03.13 11:12pm
Abu Qatada offers to show Cyprus how to get bailed out by Europe. 0
Perks 19.03.13 11:05pm
Cypriot Customs impounds "planeload" of cash

Baggage handlers report they counted nearly 700,000 euro. A Cypriot government spokesman stated that this demonstrated to Germany and the IMF that they do take attempts at money laundering seriously....

Iscariot 19.03.13 10:42pm
MoD plane with 1 million euros for Armed Forces personnel diverts to Ibiza 0
Mandy Lifeboat 19.03.13 10:37pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Banksy To Paint Ceiling Of Proposed New 'More Modest' Vatican Chapel 0
Titus 19.03.13 10:26pm
Millions concerned over Rory McIlroy's apparent stroke in Santander advert 0
quango 19.03.13 10:20pm
Gunther von Hagens puts off crow-plastination til next week 0
Idiot 19.03.13 10:15pm
Pope Francis puts the Vatican up for sale

Determined to fulfill his ambition to 'see a church that is poor and is for the poor' Pope Francis has decided to sell off the Vatican, St Peter's Basilica and the Sistine Chapel. 'It's an...

roybland 19.03.13 10:12pm
Roache 'was credulous idiot in previous life' 1
Idiot 19.03.13 10:09pm
Al OPecia
Polar bears disturbed by large unopenable plastic lunch box of fresh human. 0
Al OPecia 19.03.13 10:09pm
Al OPecia
Odour-free GM Cannabis plants!

Order online...

hero2zero 19.03.13 10:06pm
Procrasting Radioactivity Convention can't confront ‘the element in the room.'

Laboured neato...

sigmund 19.03.13 10:01pm
Chancellor Merkel cancels Paphos holiday 0
custard cream 19.03.13 8:15pm
custard cream
Amateurcrastinater completes task too promptly 8
Yikes 19.03.13 8:08pm
“Make Work Free!” Now Government Policy

In a bold move, Chancellor George Osborne is to introduce a radical new economic policy with immediate effect. Expressed by the slogan “Make work free”, the new policy abolishes wages for all...

Iggy Pop-Barker 19.03.13 7:43pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Eric Pickles to be declared an SSSI later this week

It has been revealed by sources close to government advisers, Natural England, that later this week, MP Eric Pickles is to be declared an SSSI (Site of Special Scientific Interest). Details are...

Pat Mustard 19.03.13 7:40pm
sponge finger
Music world mourns as plot to kill Joss Stone is thwarted... 1
Tripod 19.03.13 7:29pm
Runner-up for pope gets trip to Disneyland 0
sydalg 19.03.13 7:26pm
If trials successful, scratch and sniff cards to be used to kerb prostitution. 0
Perks 19.03.13 7:19pm
"Oakey door key" says locksmith asked to help Human League singer get into house 0
Idiot 19.03.13 7:18pm
Golfer asked not to put off putting off puts off. 2
beau-jolly 19.03.13 7:08pm
Underwear catalogue publisher admits "We can't compete with Internet porn" 0
sydalg 19.03.13 6:26pm
Pessimist "really looking forward to being optimistic again" 0
Idiot 19.03.13 5:39pm