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Concerned-looking news reader secretly doesn't give a toss 0
la maga 3 years
Government to scrap Building Parliaments for the Future Scheme. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years

The £800m planned refurbishment of the Houses of Parliament has been scrapped by the government. Junior minister, Solly Farquhar, today announced that after the summer break the House of Commons...

Wetherspoons new Programmers Lunch 'proving popular with ploughmen'. More soon. 0
malgor 3 years
Venables due in court 1
edward hack 3 years

An angry mob has already gathered outside the Old Bailey, as one of the most distressing cases in British legal history is poised to get under way later this morning., Business tycoon and former...

Government plans to charge parents for free schools. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Airport strike vote delayed after ballot boxes put on flight to Paris by mistake 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
MySpace renamed Spacetolet after audience halves in one year 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Furious Nick Griffin turned away from his local garden centre. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Eco-Car fuelled by vegetable oil collides with potato truck..... 5
finneyp 3 years

..Resulting explosion feeds hundreds More soon...

Tomlinson inquiry 'a pushover' says Met 0
roybland 3 years
Terry-Thomas' tooth gap no wider than in the 1930's 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

The gap in Terry-Thomas' teeth is no greater than it was during the post-World War I slump and the Great Depression, a study suggests. Despite the continued rise in dentist artistry, it is well...

Barry Manilow asked to revive Mandy ,as he collapses on the Third man book tour 0
arrghgarry 3 years

he came, and he stopped him from shaking...

Gwyneth Paltrow explains how the birth of her son Moses led to post 0
arrghgarry 3 years

post-natal depression,Moses being a big boy caused me a lot of pain,but it was the reed basket that did all the damage ...

Gwyneth Paltrow explains hoe the birth of Her son Moses led to post 0
arrghgarry 3 years
Prince Phillip visibly upset as Mr Griffin banned from Buck Palacegarden party 0
arrghgarry 3 years

he was looking forward to a good old right wing chinwag ,which he has not had since the queen mum died...

Former clown officer Sir Ian Blair reminisces on the Ian Tomlinson trivial death 0
arrghgarry 3 years

affair ,in my day we used to shove them down and then shoot them ,what`s wrong with the police today ...

Pinocchio 'denied human rights' in trial of theatrical anti-semitism 0
fernandomando 3 years
PM condemns sympathy for Rikkor 13
rickwestwell 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron has said there should be no sympathy for "callous scribbler" Rikkor. Mr Cameron was speaking after positive comments were left at the scene of Rikkor's recent post on...

Freddy Patel admits he studied pathology using mate’s video copy of Quincy ME 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

Home Office investigations into the conduct of pathologist Freddy Patel have revealed he lacked any formal medical qualifications and learnt about the human body watching back episodes of Quincy,...

Black Box fails to show how it's inventor died. more soon 0
Mrblacker 3 years

R.I.P David Warren...

Cameron thanks US for defeating Napoleon. 5
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Inventor of car that runs on seawater/oil mix to sue BP for capping well 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
French Devastated to Discover... 0
mugwump 3 years

French Devastated to Discover English Not Even Mildly Upset at "rosbif" Jibe...

Druids slam Osborne's second henge tax. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Revealed! Police Department for the fuelling of conspiracy theories. 0
hero2zero 3 years

Following recent issues over Police actions the presence of a Department whose sole purpose is to encourage conspiracy theorists by means of secrecy and misinformation has been admitted. Until...

PM commissions remake of "In which we serve" as "in which we hold the yankies ja 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

ckets, whilst they win the bally War for us grateful Limey types". Wanker...

CPS posthumously charges Ian Tomlinson with littering the pavement with his 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years

corpse. [@£!$$%^& character limit, what is this, effing twitter?]...

Deficit can only be beaten "if everyone licks my balls" says Chancellor Osborne 12
rickwestwell 3 years

In a statement certain to depress UK market sentiment even further, Chancellor George Osborne announced this morning that the black hole in the nation's finances was even larger than anticipated, and...

Ceausescu exhumed and shot again "just to be on the safe side". 4
the coarse whisperer 3 years
All English people drunk, all the time, warns Obama 2
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

US President Barack Obama has warned the American public that the British people’s compulsion for round the clock drinking may harm ties between the two countries. American news networks have been...