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Archeologists find remains of Chris Huhne's moral conscience in Southwark

Investigators in Southwark have held a press conference today announcing the discovery of Chris Huhne's moral conscience. The remains of morality were buried 10 years ago when the Member of...

7
Perks 06.02.13 10:48am
Perks
Government announce dog chipping as replacement for speed cameras

In a cost-cutting move today the Government has commenced the first of its new 'two for the price of one' policies. Noting the overwhelming number of canine passengers in cars caught on speed...

0
weevie 06.02.13 10:27am
weevie
Fabric of Universal spacetime found to be corduroy. 3
wallster 06.02.13 10:04am
pere floza
Cameron defends his new BBC natural history epic ‘Great Britain’

Hitting back at criticism from viewers and some newspapers David Cameron has defended his new BBC natural history series, ‘Great Britain’. Complaints were received that the series, which follows...

2
Dick Everyman 06.02.13 9:59am
Dick Everyman
“Richard III is just the first of many finds”, says Kevin ‘Bonekicker’ Baxter...

With the discovery of someone who might or might not have been Richard III (but probably was) beneath a car-park in Leicester, archeologists who have relished their ‘Indiana Jones’ moment are...

0
Tripod 06.02.13 9:43am
Tripod
NHS Online forms to have boxes “pre-ticked”

The new IT system currently being rolled out across all NHS Trusts in England is to have all the correct boxes pre-ticked, in a move designed to improve performance. Many trusts are also struggling...

0
rogerg 06.02.13 9:18am
rogerg
Bye-bye by-election under the 'Curse of Eastleigh'

The three main parties have today made the surprise announcement that they do not intend to field candidates at the next Eastleigh by-election, on superstitious grounds. Previous MPs have all fallen...

4
Squudge 06.02.13 7:42am
Squudge
"Sheer luxury,lads! I were put under t'car park for 517 years!" 0
Iscariot 06.02.13 12:07am
Iscariot
Michael Parkinson ‘proud of his manboobs’

“I’ve met thousands of fascinating people and have some wonderful mammaries” he said...

0
Reg Herring 05.02.13 11:58pm
Reg Herring
Horse salesman's descendent claims kingdom

A descendent of a 15th century horse trader has claimed that he gave Richard III a horse shortly after the then King offered his kingdom in exchange. "Luckily, he kept the receipt.", explained,...

0
apepper 05.02.13 11:45pm
apepper
BDA in switch from mercury to lead/uranium ore amalgam

Coming under pressure for having advocated the use of mercury-containing amalgam dental fillings for two centuries, the British Dental Association (BDA)recently took the unprecedented step of...

0
bumtrinket 05.02.13 11:44pm
bumtrinket
Irish Church 'never discriminated by race or gender' in its child abuse 0
cinquecento 05.02.13 11:24pm
cinquecento
Huhne to be sentenced to re-marry Pryce as 'deterrent' 3
Squudge 05.02.13 10:39pm
Tripod
Mis-spelling debacle could cost £3.6billion, admits Barclays Wank. 1
Boutros 05.02.13 10:32pm
sponge finger
Remains of Richard III owing more than £10 Million in car park fees

While the discovery of the remains of Richard III in a Leicester car park have been met with much joy, it has also incurred the long-dead monarch over £10 Million in parking fees. The long-overdue...

0
05.02.13 10:13pm
BREAKING: London Olympics took place in 2012

In what some are calling the archaeological discovery of the decade, it has been discovered that the London Olympics were actually held last year. The games have long been considered greater, and...

0
05.02.13 9:52pm
God won over to gay marriage by promise of 'really spectacular' cakes & flowers 0
Nowherefast 05.02.13 9:45pm
Nowherefast
Newsbizkit websyte tryalz orto spelchekker 0
misterjingles 05.02.13 9:04pm
misterjingles
House of Commons votes

Nah - not funny. Must take more water with it...

1
dvo4fun 05.02.13 8:47pm
Squudge
Queen Rules On Richard III Burials

The Queen has today settled the dispute between Leicester and York with regard to the re-burial of Richard III's bones by ruling that the skeleton be divided. The Queen's representative in such...

0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 05.02.13 8:24pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
"God created me as well" says Steve

Early human Steve has spoken of his anger at what he sees as the whitewashing of his exploits from the bible story. Steve is understood to have been created by God from some nearby twigs on the...

0
BAJDixon 05.02.13 7:45pm
BAJDixon
Gay marriage to be made “compulsory”...

Due to errors with the order papers and voting procedures, MPs have voted not merely to allow gay marriage, but to make it compulsory. “The double negative on the ballot paper seems to have caused...

0
Tripod 05.02.13 7:35pm
Tripod
Arab countires complain Dyson Airblade 'takes too long to punish thieves' 0
One Line Only 05.02.13 4:55pm
One Line Only
Dyson launch new 'Jeans' range of most efficient hand dryers 0
charlies_hat 05.02.13 4:51pm
charlies_hat
Hague meet Argentine Foreign Minister - offers Northern Ireland instead... 1
GreenCross 05.02.13 4:42pm
AReader
Banks ordered to separate into “nice bits” and “dodgy bits”

British Banks must ring fence their “well dodgy bits” and keep them entirely separate from their “nice smiley bits”, the Chancellor of the Exchequer warned today. Branch staff have largely...

0
nickb 05.02.13 3:20pm
nickb
Rebecca Adlington quits swimming to spend more time with her spoon. 7
wallster 05.02.13 3:15pm
The Real Rebecca
Kingdom for a horse would be "a good deal" concedes chancellor

Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, has said that if someone offered a horse for the United Kingdom, he'd bite their hands off. "A live horse in exchange for a trillion pound debt? What's...

0
apepper 05.02.13 2:42pm
apepper
Huhne six month driving ban ‘unlikely to be a problem’ 0
medici2471 05.02.13 2:28pm
medici2471
Huhne quits to spend less time with family & more time with Big Ron on 'E' Wing

more later. Sorry...

0
dvo4fun 05.02.13 2:21pm
dvo4fun