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Zurich taxi driver rejects bribe to take England World Cup delegates to Dignitas 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Violence, flares and perms at Birmingham 70’s football revival night 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Equal parenting report author thanks wife for caring for kids while he wrote it 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
NASA: 'Alien life could exist right under our noses'... 0
Dexter 3 years

using 'Movember' as a pretext for colonisation, said a spokesman. He continued "If you wake up in the morning and find your moustache has moved 3/4" to the side, don't wake it up by drinking coffee...

Oxo launched on the stock exchange... 6
Dexter 3 years

by gold trader who misspelt 'bullion' as 'buillon'. More soon...

Lib-Dem MPs Break Yet More Promises 15
De-scribe 3 years

The litany of broken promises by Liberal Democrat MPs expanded yet further yesterday as it emerged that Education Minister Sarah Teather MP has broken a pledge to take her turn on the school run. ...

'Life as we don't know it'discovery could prove existence of 'spawn of Thatcher& 0
arflaethel 3 years

WikiLeaks: William Hague said he, David Cameron and George Osborne ' use arsenic in their metabolism' NASA has sent the internet into a frenzy after it announced an "astrobiology finding" that...

Gordon Brown was British Prime Minister reveals wikileaks 3
jm 3 years
Redbridge council sends out parking fines to stranded M25 drivers 0
acwanaut 3 years
Cornish Ski Resorts Open 0
arflaethel 3 years

But nothing else...

Wikileaks: US Diplomats were ordered to spy on themselves in the 1990s 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Wikileaks forced to move off of Amazon servers after gift voucher expires. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[More soon]...

Wikileaks to publish "Naughty List" on December 23rd 0
Andrew 3 years
Olympic Field Events Should be Brought More Up To Date. Discus. 11
De-scribe 3 years
North Korea to invade South "because of its boring shape". 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

North Korea announced today that it would be invading South Korea because it found it "topographically uninteresting". A spokesman for the reigning "Dynasty of the High Loon" said today "we strongly...

“I will fight on”, says Audley Harrison... 2
Doylem 3 years

“Even though the only way I’ll get a bout, having been twatted by David Haye, is to stand in the ring and punch myself in the face. Who knows there may be an audience for [i]that[/i]”...

Adenine, Cytosine and Guanine are in my DNA, say Crick and Watson 0
ronseal 3 years

Customer service is not in your DNA, a pair of old scientists have claimed. Controversially, they argued that unpopular quantities, scuh as adenine, guanine and cytosine are in your DNA., Absolute...

TV reporters threaten strike action 0
Mr.3374 3 years

NUJ spokesperson explained the dispute., " For fuck's sake, surely everyone has seen snow before?, Why should our junior members be forced to stand out in the cold with a film crew just to show...

Fatality at Butter factory, man falls in churn 2
Rowly 3 years

He will be "spread to rest" this Friday, straight from the fridge,, His tearful widow, Marg, said "sunflowers only please, there will be a toast after"...

Wikileaks reveal concerns FIFA developing nuclear weapons 0
TerribleTim 3 years
'At The Crack of Dawn' - Lenny Henry's Moving New Autobiography, All This Week 2
De-scribe 3 years
Pompei suffers same fate as Jericho 0
Rowly 3 years

They should have made all those tourist march out of step...

Audley Harrison: “My life as a pacifist”... 0
Doylem 3 years

“I don’t feel there’s any conflict between being a boxer and being a pacifist. Fans could see that I didn’t want to hurt David Haye, and would rather take the punches myself. The one punch I...

Fears mount that Fleet Street's men bashing columnists are synchronising periods 6
ronseal 3 years

Britain's collective aggrievance of newspaper columnists could be synchronising thier menstrual cycles, according to intelligence reports. MORE SOON. HAVE TO GO SHOPPING FOR BIRTHDAY PRESENT...

Berlusconi chased beaver in Office 2
simonjmr 3 years

and nightclubs, parliament, the beach, on the plane, at the lido ....

First Bridge forced to close for fourth time in living memory. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
MP's fury as expense claims for snow clearance made non-admissible. 3
surdoux 3 years
Disgraced gyneacologist insists he was the victim of a smear campaign. 0
Phlegm 3 years
Portugal denies need for financial bail-out 0
MC One R 3 years

"We know we'll get enough income from the World Cup coming to us in 2018. Crap, shouldn't have said that out loud."...

England’s finest hour... and a half... 4
Doylem 3 years

“The fans of today are fickle, with such short memories. No-one remembers it now, but, amazingly, England won the World Cup back in 1966. We’re too modest to mention it any more, but we...