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Suicidal schizophrenic "couldn't live with himself any longer" 0
spoole2112 4 years

More later...

Twins seperate surgeons in theatre melee 0
spoole2112 4 years

A potentially life threatening scuffle between two eminent scalpel wielding neurosurgeons was halted today by plucky twin hospital cleaners and former nightclub bouncers Vince and Clive Savage. The...

Man has bargain £90 rowing machine sent straight to council recycling facility 5
antharrison 4 years

When the email from Groupon arrived offering a half-price York R510 rowing machine, Mile Richards was ecstatic "I've always wanted one to go along with the weights bench, cross trainer and cycling...

unesco to declare basildon farm world heritage site 1
4ty2 4 years
32% rely on smartphone to cross road 6
Des Custard 4 years

A report has revealed that almost a third of the population are now unable to walk to the shops or cross a busy road without the aid of a smartphone. When older types of mobile device are taken into...

Shelling continues near pea packaging plant 1
tedweasel 4 years

Unconfirmed reports from sources within Bird's Eye of intensive shelling throughout the night at it's strategic Grimsby site, more to follow...

Man sues church for not being molested 0
RJWinter 4 years

A Brighton man, who wishes to remain unnamed, is suing the church on grounds of sexual discrimination and neglect., In a recent interview he said "It is not fair, I was neglected, I just had to...

.'red rum ton yletinifed' htaed niaCcM 1
SpankyMonkey 4 years
Call for all graphic images to be banned from films. 0
spoole2112 4 years

Researchers from Wetwang University, East Yorkshire, have called for graphic images of any kind to be banned from all films. After years of time consuming and very expensive research, boffins at the...

Teenage girls in tears, as rumours of imminent Eurozone break-up spreads 3
simonjmr 4 years
Hairy Potter Sued by J. K. Rowling. 0
RJWinter 4 years

Headline idea...

America's Super Rich Expected to Dodge Frontline Duty in Upcoming Class War 0
TokyoTomato 4 years
Local man to flaunt his uniqueness by wearing plain clothes 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Manchester Police report increase in "suicide by burglary" 1
greg various 4 years
Front page 1
plasticjock 4 years

PRIVATE EYE admit being controlled for 50 years by Bubbles...

Rugby bagpipe ban to be extended “across the civilised world”. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 4 years


Front page 0
plasticjock 4 years

Private Eye admit to being controlled for fifty years by Bubbles...

Dale Farm cause boosted by charity release of Prodigy's 'Pack My Micks Up' 2
Runestone Cowboy 4 years
"Travellers" fail to live up to their name 1
Kramaring 4 years

no more soon...

Liverpudlian battered by movie star after welcoming him: "Hey, Steven's a gal" 0
thackaray 4 years
Better School discipline promised - drug addled problem pupils hope to be caned 0
thackaray 4 years
Dale Farm residents mystified by delivery of large wooden horse 4
vertical 4 years
McCain achievements 'impressive for a Ginger' 0
SpankyMonkey 4 years
McCain cashes in his chips.. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Bailiffs ask NASA if it can crash the defunct UARS satellite on Dale Farm. 1
Tammy Flugh 4 years
Plymouth hospice manager fired for 'poor results' 5
Midfield Diamond 4 years

The manager of a once-proud establishment in Plymouth has been heartlessly sacked, less than a year after it was converted to a hospice. Mr Peter Reid lost his job at the Argyle Home Park hospice...

Thousands attempting to flee Newcastle on foot foiled by unclear signage 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years
Sleep disturbing phone message from hotel reception was 'a wake up call' 4
ronseal 4 years
Playground Visitors 'on the slide' 1
LittleSpender 4 years
Ginger McCain's condition "no longer stable". More soon. 1
Al OPecia 4 years