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Harry dumps whirlybird to spend more time with his joystick 0
greg various 4 years
Lynx introduce new ‘Pixie dust and phoenix feather extract’ shower gel 14
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

Encouraged by the success of Lynx Boost ([i]Stimulating guava and volcanic stone extract[/i]) and Lynx Fever ([i]Brazilian hot mud and red dragonfruit extract[/i]), Unilever are set to launch a new...

Shell critics describe fresh North Sea leek as unpalatable 0
spoole2112 4 years
Vince Cable to be fitted with collar bomb senior Tories announce 0
simonjmr 4 years
Leytonstone mum: 'Why I photo-shopped my daughter' 5
Des Custard 4 years

It has been described as a moral dilemma no parent wants to confront: whether there are circumstances when you should ‘shop’ your child. But for Leytonstone mum Jaqui Privas, it was the only way...

Community in shock as child is told off 8
Screenie 4 years

Police were called to a house in Shoreham, Kent by concerned neighbours after they overheard a child being blatantly told off by his mother. 'The child was happily throwing stones at our greenhouse,...

Cowes - I.O.W set to rival Frankfurt as European finance hub 0
Duff-N-Custard 4 years

Claims the newly appointed chair of the I.O.W. Calculator Users Club. The former tractor driver explained that he'd lost his job last month after "fucking up the tractor" but now has the time and...

Serialisation of life stories of James Dean & Marc Bolan just "car crash TV" 0
simonjmr 4 years
Sarah Palin and Michelle Buchanan say "bikini mud wrestling match" not PR stunt 1
thackaray 4 years
‘Employment’ held the clue to angry mobs actions admits chief 0
spoole2112 4 years

In a pointless waste of police resources, detectives are scouring the lyrics of up to 30,000 pop songs for hidden subliminal messages that may help them identify the imminent threat of future...

James Cameron denies that the Smurfs movie is actually Avatar 2 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Eurozone crisis deepens as Sarkozy tells Merkel to bring sandwiches to meeting 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Rail commuters relieved fares to increase less than petrol prices 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Tractors and mud on road thwart rural broadband boost 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Norfolk Iron Age road dated by ‘Road works-Delays Possible until Sept 35AD’ sign 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Engineers warn Cameron against zero tolerance 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
May apologises: 'I meant we need police cunts, not cuts' 0
Des Custard 4 years

Home Secretary Theresa May, 54, today apologised for misleading the public over her intentions for the police service [i][IS IT WORTH WRITING THIS UP AS A FULL SUB, OR IS IT AN OLD IDEA?][/i]...

Boost for fisherman as North Sea fish now coming in their own oil 0
Duncan Biscuit 4 years
Ryan Air flights so depressing passengers required to remove belts to board 0
gaijintendo 4 years

Slip on shoes now preferred, and flight attendants make mandatory passenger checks every 15 minutes...

QPR loss leaves Bernie Ecclestone a bit short. 1
rebel not taken 4 years

QPR's strategic 4-0 home defeat to a poor Bolton team has left penny pinching QPR owner Bernie Ecclestone feeling hard done by. Billionaire Bernie's hopes of trousering 100million quid by flogging...

Rioters prepare to test olympic security 0
Boroughbloke 4 years

In the latest test of preparations for next year's London olympics rioters will tonight hold a looting festival at the olympic park in Stratford, east London. As 2,500 rioters from nearby Hackney and...

Unborn child charged in rioting crackdown 2
theboot 4 years

A 30 week-old foetus is believed to be the youngest person charged in connection with the riots that swept England’s cities last week. The foetus which cannot be named because it doesn’t yet have...

Everest join BlackBerry as official sponsors of future riots 1
Qoxiivi 4 years

Double glazing company, Everest Limited, have today been appointed as an official co-sponsor of any future riots. David Squires, CEO of the window repair and installation specialists, is delighted...

Fine print of "Buy one, get one FREE!" misunderstood by looters 1
Dumbnews 4 years

After receiving one for free, looters return to buy one?...

Mecca set to become tourist Blackpool 0
Nick McCarr 4 years
Reverse Masturbation Found to Cure Blindness 3
thisisall1word 4 years

after being reminded by the bionic hand story (Qoxiivi) dredged up that one liner from previous long ago thread...

Cameron assures public, 'it's not me, it's you'. 1
Darkbill 2.0 4 years

Prime Minister David Cameron today admitted to the British people that he feels their relationship isnt working out but that it is clearly their fault and not his. I hope we can still be friends he...

Balloon enquiry blames physics for accident 0
Screenie 4 years
Experts fear teenage boy fitted with bionic hand will be ‘blind within a year’ 6
Qoxiivi 4 years
Bottom 99% of multi-millionaire club criticise Buffet tax increase proposal 0
thisisall1word 4 years

Anyone thing of any better/more angles (and some jokes) for this? Feel free to re-use if anyone wants American's super rich have criticised suggestions made by Warren Buffet, the incomprehensibly...