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Archeologists discover the biggest rat that ever lived: Blairiadopolis arbustum 0
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years

Squabbles broke out over naming the beast, now considered the genetic ancestor to twin strands of subsequent evolution, for both of which the newly discovered monster has been named. Interestingly,...

Cameron abolishes Parliament, establishes privatised Star Chamber. More soon. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
'BP made profits out of ordinary Americans' claims Senate 0
Griffin 3 years
Former BP CEO glad to have his life back filled with looking for a new job 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Elton John laments about his song "candle in the wind " 0
arrghgarry 3 years

of course for a woman this is sad poignant melody of a woman`s sad life ,of course for a man it is the opposite ,he has a really good stiffy ,he is well lubricated and he is always getting blown ...

Tony speaks out 0
PluckyMunky 3 years

"We're sorry for the massive disruption it's caused their lives. There's no one who wants this over more than I do. I just want my pension'. 'After all, only 11 people have died so far and I would...

Spanish Full-face transplant patient tells of his joy of not being on the N.H S 0
arrghgarry 3 years

waiting list or he might have ended up with Alex HigginsS` face ., At the press conference he asked to be excused early so he could go and buy a big fucking sombrero...

Iran Invades Yorkshire Chalk Escarpment, in Misguided Bid to Take Over the Wold 0
mugwump 3 years

Iran invades Yorkshire chalk escarpment, in misguided bid to take over the wold...

Lumberjack Training Agency axed... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Daily Mail claims Education legislation is getting easier... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Paranoid bank fails stress test... More soon. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
National Patient Support Communications Evaluation Supervision Agency.... 0
deskpilot3 3 years

mysteriously evades quango cull...

Lord John Prescott of Kingston upon Hulk denies that Napoleon the fat greedy 0
arrghgarry 3 years

usurping pig from Animal farm is based upon himself, Also it can be noted Napoleon did not suffer from Bulimia as Lord John did,so it is preposterous that people should draw any similarities...

Face transplant man publicly thanks Michelle McManus. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Pole dancer rushed to hospital with severe case of splinters. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Gag writer to give up comedy 9
edward hack 3 years

Chris Brown, thought to be Britains least succesful gag writer is to give up a career in comedy to concentrate on his campaign to have 'chicken crossings' installed in every major town throughout the...

Michael Gove tells kids to build their own schools 12
Ludicity 3 years

Education Secretary Michael Gove has announced that in the future all new schools will be built and maintained by the pupils. ‘This is what I mean by ‘free schools,’ he said, ‘the kids build...

American Doctor s will reduce their baby deliverance bill by 25% if the 0
arrghgarry 3 years

expectant family pays in cash ,in full .A hospital spokesman said the Doctor would rather give one up in the bush and have three in the hand ....

Real Afghan War even worse than Official Afghan War. 0
la maga 3 years
Cameron latest: Magna Carta deemed "overly bureaucratic". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

Oh fuck it - "bureaucratic" is just won off those words i can't spel rite...

Cash-strapped Christine Bleakley has to take 3 jobs ... 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

First with GMTV, then the new Doctor Who assistant which allows her to sleep, time travel and still appear on The One Show...

'Oh, my God! Mum was right about everything after all' admits teenager 0
roybland 3 years

Michelle Watson's epiphany came just last week as she was celebrating her nineteenth birthday. 'I was looking in the mirror and suddenly I thought - 'Oh, my God! This dress just isn't me and Mum...

BP Boss offered Russian roulette. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

More soon. PS this is a bit shit, had hoped to make it say. BP Boss offered Russian [s]role[/s] roulette...

'Lunch break creep' finally swallows both elevenses and 3pm smoking break. 0
la maga 3 years
Paul Gascoigne brings pork pies and beer to sort out Israel-Palestine conflict 4
Oxbridge 3 years
Bear Grylls to get own talk show 0
LittleSpender 3 years
Lifesize portraits of China's head of state to be placed in all Walmarts 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Pre-op Paratrooper caught with his pants down. 0
BlackAndroid 3 years

Ex paratrooper Brigadier Boreham was behind bars last night after being exposed . It came to light this man was masquerading as a pre-op transsexual but was nothing more than an heterosexual sex...

Former Enron CEO expresses interest in working for BP 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Opera singer admits, "I just get drunk and make it all up." More soon. 3
dominic_mcg 3 years