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Essex Man Finds District Line Tube Train Behind Garden Shed

An Essex man has unearthed a fully preserved London Underground train with the metal detector he was given for Christmas. Terry Muswell from Epping was out scanning for possible Roman coins and...

8
SJM 09.01.13 11:06pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Danny La Rue found to have poor fuel efficiency due to high coefficient of drag 0
Smart Alex 09.01.13 11:04pm
Smart Alex
Dog shit on Mars

Tests carried out by the Mars Exploration Rover have discovered a substance thought to be dog shit, on the surface of Mars. The discovery has taken everybody at NASA by surprise and could prove to...

2
benrussell 09.01.13 10:52pm
Falouan
Jessops poor management focus leaves business exposed 6
charlies_hat 09.01.13 10:46pm
Perks
Worlds most insular country warns UK not to become too insular 1
custard cream 09.01.13 10:40pm
Bourbon
Atom fails to become a Noble gas after it is revealed it was once a Free Radical

An attempt at some chemistry humour there!...

1
Ian Searle 09.01.13 10:12pm
Squudge
Elderly Woman Mislays Reading Glasses in SpecSavers 0
SJM 09.01.13 9:58pm
SJM
Ostrich Farmers in Denial Over Industry Recession 0
SJM 09.01.13 9:56pm
SJM
Government Confirms Plans to Re-introduce Street Urchins and Guttersnipes 0
SJM 09.01.13 9:54pm
SJM
More Catholic child abuse accusations. Paedophile priest blames Altar Ego 0
brownpaperreporter 09.01.13 8:41pm
brownpaperreporter
Budding football commentators over the moon with new master-classes

Professional football commentator and television presenter Adrian Chiles is to share the secret of his enormous success in a series of master classes. Each class will offer budding sports monkeys a...

0
Dick Everyman 09.01.13 7:29pm
Dick Everyman
Jim Henson and J K Rowling to sue over "badger" parliamentary nicknames

Author J K Rowling and puppet-master Jim Henson are to mount a class action after learning that the names of some of their characters have been applied by British MPs to the two Ministers in charge...

0
geokay 09.01.13 7:05pm
geokay
Cornwall Tourist Chiefs ready to exploit "The Dead Badger Factor"

Concerned that a possible badger cull in August 2013 may affect visitor numbers to Cornwall, the county’s tourist chiefs are planning to use the cull to create a Badger Bonanza of attractions. A...

0
geokay 09.01.13 7:00pm
geokay
Les still miserable despite success of movie

Les Tomkins, a retired window cleaner from Doncaster is still miserable despite the multi-million pound movie made about his life story and tipped to win a number of Oscars. Known in Doncaster by his...

0
nickb 09.01.13 4:53pm
nickb
Network Rail announce £37.5bn investment in replacement bus services

A £37.5bn plan to make rail travellers more comfortable by putting them all on buses has been announced by Network Rail. The plan will cover the five years up to 2019 and will see more trains than...

6
Vince Cables Gran 09.01.13 4:16pm
dvo4fun
Channel 5 announces new gameshow, Skivers Vs Strivers

Ulrika Jonsson and Vinne Jones are to front a new Channel 5 reality show [i]Skivers Vs Strivers[/i], which the programme makers say ‘pits disgruntled middle-income worker drones against feckless...

1
Darkbill 2.0 09.01.13 3:48pm
Oxbridge
Norovirus to sue for “unlawful” use of microscopic image on high street fashion

It’s a design now hugely popular across the world on T shirts, dresses and underwear. But blown up images of the colourful but microscopic Norovirus bacterium may breach copyright, according...

1
nickb 09.01.13 1:23pm
Not Amused
Latest pole in Belfast shows no Union flag is the preference 0
charlies_hat 09.01.13 11:20am
charlies_hat
Winehouse 'still drunk' after second inquest. 6
Boutros 09.01.13 9:31am
DrTurmoil
Lifelong friendship destroyed by pain in the arse Facebook updates

27-year-old Stephanie Crowe from Harlow has seen all feelings of warmth and friendship for childhood pal Ben Simms corrode into disdain, disgust and hatred due to his incessant inane and pompous...

13
DrTurmoil 09.01.13 9:24am
DrTurmoil
Overcrowded privatised prison inmates not impressed with share options 0
charlies_hat 09.01.13 8:32am
charlies_hat
Horrific Japan Airlines Dreamliner Fire Worse in the Imagination

Japan Airlines today said that a horrific fire that broke out on one of its Boeing 787 Dreamliners while parked and not-filled with passengers in Boston was minor and dealt with quickly by ground...

6
BleepingTom 09.01.13 8:01am
Sinnick
Bowie offers to sign his new single at Our Price and Woolworths.

To help promote his new 7-inch single, David Bowie has offered to tour the country signing copies at branches of Our Price and Woolworths. "I'm really looking forward to meeting 'all the young dudes'...

10
Boutros 09.01.13 8:01am
AReader
School kids to get free breakfast. Soggy chips and Blackpool rock. 0
MADJEZ 09.01.13 1:50am
MADJEZ
Lady golfer stung by bee between first and second holes.

"I keep telling her that her stance is too wide!" says golf instructor...

0
Maverick 09.01.13 12:02am
Maverick
Hermaphrodite told to ‘go fuck itself’. 0
malgor 08.01.13 11:40pm
malgor
Coalition release single 'Where are We Now?', sponsored by Rupert Murdoch

In a bold move, the Coalition have released a single and video track on iTunes, showing David Cameron and Nick Clegg singing "Where Are We Now?". It will be followed by a new album, entitled 'The...

10
pinxit 08.01.13 11:32pm
pinxit
Police investigate Paddington station in 'leaks for cash' inquiry

More 30p leaks soon...

0
Not Amused 08.01.13 9:23pm
Not Amused
BBC confirms Stargazing programme on sky not Sky 0
custard cream 08.01.13 8:52pm
custard cream
Differential benefit cuts begin with a benefits 'flat cap' in Barnsley

asldfkasdlfeorin...

0
custard cream 08.01.13 8:15pm
custard cream