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Tories plan to match economy of Brazilians by trimming pubic sector 0
charlies_hat 06.03.12 4:31pm
charlies_hat
Entire Twisted Sister back catalogue stolen by crap metal thieves. 2
The Nage 06.03.12 3:54pm
writinginbsl
Workshy benefit scroungers form protest movement 'Occupy Weatherspoons' 1
The Nage 06.03.12 2:48pm
dvo4fun
Failed undercover London cop "Just a muppet on a sting"

more later...

0
dvo4fun 06.03.12 2:45pm
dvo4fun
Support rallies around Chris Tappin in "ageing grandfather show of solidarity"

"He can't possibly have done anything wrong - he's an ageing grey haired grandfather. By definition he must be completely innocent of any wrongdoing - I should know!" said Mr. Mugabe, offering his...

2
ianrbland 06.03.12 2:36pm
dvo4fun
Fears Americans don't get alliteration on 'Super Tuesday' 0
MADJEZ 06.03.12 2:01pm
MADJEZ
Tesco to launch Homeopathic Petrol as part of Value range

As fuel prices continue to soar, Tesco are to extend their Value range to the fuel pump. Head of Value Brand Promotions, Barry Pullover explained, "Obviously, we've been diluting our petrol with all...

0
grottymonty 06.03.12 1:22pm
grottymonty
BBC launch new nature documentary 'Gay Pride'

The BBC today announced the launch of a new and controversial documentary entitled 'Gay Pride'. The six-part series will follow in the mincing footsteps of gay lions in the heart of Africa. In a...

4
Psycadelic Squirrel 06.03.12 1:21pm
cinquecento
Chelsea manager's office fitted with revolving door. More managers soon. 0
ianrbland 06.03.12 12:51pm
ianrbland
Research shows 'Less' is not 'More'. Less later. 0
ianrbland 06.03.12 12:41pm
ianrbland
iPhone reviewers gear up for 'higher than usual' demand for superlatives. 0
ianrbland 06.03.12 12:37pm
ianrbland
British Olympic handshaking ban makes life difficult for relay race team.

To you, to me...

0
Ian Searle 06.03.12 12:33pm
Ian Searle
New 'DIY Office Balconies' instant hit as Global Warming considered 'trendy'

The UK market leader for DIY products, B&Q, has reported record profits for the current tax year. When questioned on productivity, B&Q's CEO Martyn Phillips, suggested that the popularity of...

1
theadministrator 06.03.12 12:13pm
theadministrator
Brian Blessed was an unwise choice to voice UXB training robot, concede MOD

The Ministry of Defence (MOD) has today conceded that its Multi-million pound programme to develop a robotic bomb disposal trainer has been a huge failure. Root cause anaylsis has been condicted...

0
simonjmr 06.03.12 11:36am
simonjmr
Newly discovered "Super cave system" linked to pot-hole on A34. More soon. 0
ianrbland 06.03.12 11:32am
ianrbland
South African rugby player sacked for thinking outside the Boks 1
cinquecento 06.03.12 11:28am
ianrbland
Sep Blatter urges Team GB to reconsider avoiding handshakes advice 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.03.12 10:40am
Duncan Biscuit
Eurostar travel misery ‘heartbreaking’ sob tearful UK commuters 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.03.12 10:40am
Duncan Biscuit
MPs ‘looking after their own’ concern as firms paid to employ ex-prisoners 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.03.12 10:39am
Duncan Biscuit
House prices fell in Feb from ‘frankly outrageous’ to ‘scarcely believable’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 06.03.12 10:39am
Duncan Biscuit
Police raid Edinburgh Woollen Mill in hunt for tweedophiles 0
The Nage 06.03.12 8:52am
The Nage
Queen of the Jungle butchered by poachers

Reports are coming in that a pride of gay Lions featured in a recent BBC documentary have been tracked down and slaughtered by a gang of hate fuelled poachers in west Africa., The murdered lions...

0
Gerontius 06.03.12 8:39am
Gerontius
Adam Werrity seen fleeing Aberdeenshire farm 0
charlies_hat 06.03.12 7:59am
charlies_hat
Black community rejoice in the news that Air Ambulances to carry Blood 0
tedweasel 06.03.12 6:55am
tedweasel
Church not singing from same him sheet

More puns to follow...

0
apepper 06.03.12 6:44am
apepper
New iPad will be 'the one after iPad 2' says Apple insider

A new iPad expected to be unveiled by Apple in San Francisco on Wednesday is believed to be the one after iPad 2 according to rumours. Months of speculation have built up in anticipation of...

1
roybland 06.03.12 6:24am
Ostsee
Dogs complain that their meat is a bit tough and full of lead shot. 0
Ostsee 06.03.12 6:16am
Ostsee
Urinating England star cautioned - "That was never a yellow ref!" 1
kga6 05.03.12 10:54pm
virtuallywill
Medvedev sacked as Russian Premier by Roman Abramovich after bad run of results

Who would have thought that the Premier of Russia Dmitry Medvedev would be giving his last press conference last Friday morning. The Premier seemed defensive regarding Russia's poor performance this...

0
paddyparkinson 05.03.12 8:44pm
paddyparkinson
Lazy oafs complain child disadvantages not covered by child benefits

Indolent cretins countrywide today expressed their 'right to free speech and stuff' by condemning the child benefit cuts, largely through sloppy mouthfuls of burger residue. One time paper-boy and...

0
kga6 05.03.12 8:33pm
kga6