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Miliband to take on Cameron in 'massive punch up' after Labour conference. 0
3 years

Ed Miliband has today announced that he will be taking on the Conservative government in a new way- by arranging a huge fight between New Labour and The Coalition, with Miliband taking on David...

Ambulances to be replaced by white vans 11
MrChigleysAunt 3 years

In the latest austerity measure, NHS ambulances are being replaced with white Transit vans, identified by a copy of the Sun newspaper in the front window., The first patient to experience the new...

Conservative Party Press Office to merge with News International 0
ChrisHarrison 3 years

The latest Tory efficiency drive will see its central press office subsumed into the vast media empire of staunch supporter, Rupert Murdoch. The deal is seen as a further strengthening of the firm...

BBC switchboard inundated with complaints by PMT sufferers over 'Period Dramas' 2
pinxit 3 years
Home prices rise 6E-5 percent in July from June 0
Dumbnews 3 years
iPhone 5 rumoured to be able to make phone calls 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Panic at Heathrow as air traffic control run by unqualified eastern europeans 0
Basil_B 3 years

The civil avaition authority revealed details today of severe staff shortages at Heathrow Airport which has led to a worrying lack of coverage amongst the air traffic control staff. This situation...

Saville Row Tailors can only give "Ball Park" price for bespoke oversize Pants 0
Rowly 3 years
The Credit Expert With Perfect Credit Score Declared Bankrupt 0
IABP 3 years
After Patsy Kensits 4 th marriage fails she swears to keep away from men 2
arrghgarry 3 years

by joining strictly come dancing...

Asda to inroduce bread Rat ions 0
arrghgarry 3 years

//////////...

Millions of wives 'dismayed' by imminent cure for migraine 2
pinxit 3 years
Tesco to launch new "rodent" range of breads 1
Son of Barnabas 3 years

Supermarket giant Tesco today announced the launch of their exciting new bakery products. Marketed under the "Best of Both" brand name, the produce will all feature a nourishing combination of bread...

Googly Milliband and yob frozen pre-fight, unable to decide "Wot E's Lookin At?" 1
wolfie 3 years

Frog-eyed proletariat prince, Ed Milliband, is still frozen mid-conversation outside a London Nightclub this morning as the drunk chav who has yelled "Wot U Lookin At?" has not yet received an...

Maze Prison Decorators Hired to Finish Commonwealth Games Village 0
IABP 3 years
Katy Perry reshoots sesame street dressed in Burka 0
jm 3 years
Army to reduce numbers through natural wastage 0
Sinnick 3 years

[must be material for a FP if someone wants to pick this up]...

Ed Miller Band to split? 1
Obidiah Bobblenob 3 years

The world of rock has been well and truly rocked by rumours that Dave Elder may be about to quit the Ed Miller Band. Dave is the oldest member of the band and was known for his expertise in...

Emma Thompson tells teenagers to use proper English words... 0
be reasonable 3 years

like talentless, horse-faced and harpie. (With complements to the Daily Mash people, who have a similar, but less funny, idea)...

The IRA to release album 3
jp1885 3 years

Following the success of military-based albums, such as The Soldiers - Coming Home and The Central Band of the Royal Air Force, the Irish Republican Army has pledged not to be outdone by releasing...

Tiger Woods partying fiasco 1
simonjmr 3 years

Tiger Woods was yesterday left dismayed and confused when he was asked to party with a Newport woman. Instead of what he expected to be wild rampant sex all he got was an afternoon of soft play, a...

Raoul Moat tasers not licenced for use before seven o'clock at night. 0
Basil_B 3 years

After that all night tasering of Raoul Moats is allowed but must end seven o'clock the following morning...

prostitute Jennifer Thompson says business has dropped off 0
arrghgarry 3 years

after half the western world found out Wayne Rooney had been up there...

Womens Institute fury at Ed Milibands slip of the tongue.. 0
Sharpehunter 3 years

"I mean't to say [i]stunt[/i] double!" insisted a rather bashful Ed Miliband this morning when confronted by press outside his home. The faux pax apparently occured when a Womens Institute Member...

Ground Zero Gay Bar next to Mosque! "My place, however, will have better music.” 0
Sharpehunter 3 years

One of the most brilliant pieces of subtle provocation in recent years. Greg Gutfield from Fox News’ Red Eye announced today via his blog that he is actively speaking to investors and plans on...

Sainsburys to unveil Easter displays next week 0
simonjmr 3 years
UK's new imaging satellites to be built at ex-car factory? 0
Obidiah Bobblenob 3 years

In a newly-announced project, the UK will launch three new space satellites to make high-resolution images of the Earth. Where exactly the satellites will be made has not been confirmed. However,...

Jack Straw: "Labour must reach out to middle-Britain... 0
be reasonable 3 years

and empty their pockets again"...

Recession victims speak of "joy" at £100m satellite camera project 0
rickwestwell 3 years

Representatives of Britain's homeless and out-of-work community have given an enthusiastic welcome for plans to spend £100 million on an advanced orbiting space camera capable of taking...

C4 confirm "Cannibal come dine with me" to have new scoring system 0
Iamthestig 3 years