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Paul the Octopus Executed for War Crimes 0
De-scribe 3 years

Tentacled tipster Paul the Octopus, who successfully predicted several results during the 2010 World Cup, has been executed. The cephalopod mollusc was only recently discovered to have hidden his...

Man finding new way of flogging dead horse accused of reinventing the weal 2
Des Custard 3 years
Relief ,as the youth in bridgeend have stopped killing themselves 0
arrghgarry 3 years

and moved on to killing other youth...

9 to 15 year old Romanians caught working in fields had just taken over from the 2
arrghgarry 3 years

6 to 9 year olds...

Scots relief as Donald's troosers found after a search. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

No longer has to wear skirt. More soon...

CERN quarantined as collision experiment produces God 2
andhrimnir 3 years
George Osborne's smirk is now malignant and inoperable, say doctors. 5
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Bullingdon Club Reunite - Announce Stadium Tour 0
De-scribe 3 years

The popular 1980s boys' band The Bullingdon Club have announced their first tour since reuniting in May 2010. The lineup this time also includes Nicky Clegg, who rejoins the band after a successful...

GP's to be heavily Calpol reliant as Govt NHS cuts bite 0
simonjmr 3 years
"We didn't gel" explain failed date couple. 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Aids is a "bugger" to shift claims Chief Medical Officer 0
simonjmr 3 years
Man "Had iPhone and Didn't Tell Anyone" 0
De-scribe 3 years

A court has heard that Newcastle financial advisor Darren Mortimer possessed an iPhone for several months without revealing to friends or family that he had obtained the device on an 18 month...

Medics express 'concern' as Danny Alexander's chin continues to shrink... 2
Jammydodgers 3 years

"We've done all we can, but we have to accept that the damage may now be irreversible" said his long faced NHS consultant, reading from a short pre-pepared statement, on the steps of St. Giles...

Guitar Thief Escapes with Lute 19
De-scribe 3 years
New contraceptive gels have no side effects. Not even pregnancy. 1
euankitson 3 years
Venison price crash in Devon... 0
riesler 3 years

not as deer as before...

Auditioning for Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves disappointing say Iranian theatre 0
Gerontius 3 years

producers., He's behind you., OR, Ledbury Amateur Dramatic Society (LADS) have been forced to cancel this years pantomime after one of its leading players was sentenced to death by the Iraqi...

Police to get extra terror training just in time for Halloween. 2
Basil_B 3 years
Jack "the antlers" Stag had it coming say stag twins. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
UK economic growth doubles from nothing to double nothing. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Early Christmas Still Likely Despite Budget Stuffing 0
De-scribe 3 years

A Guardian/NCM poll shows that there has been no widespread backlash by turkeys against an Early Christmas despite the budget stuffing announced last week. The poll shows that Early Christmas had...

X factor host in lip sync scandal! 2
simonjmr 3 years

Another miming scandal has hit the X-Factor this weekend after it was revealed that it's host Dermot O'Leary, pre-records and mimes to his links between the acts. "What seem like off the cuff...

Apple users suffering from genetic disorder, lacking "iGene" 5
hero2zero 3 years

A genetics laboratory has succeeded in isolating a genetic deficit, prevalent in fans of Apple products. A spokesperson for the company told us, “Research has proved conclusive, those desiring the...

Tiger attack at Brand/Perry Indian wedding. 1
hero2zero 3 years

Police were today questioning Andrew Sachs over his possible involvement in the Tiger attack at this weekend’s wedding after a Tiger suit was found at his London home. More later…...

London Fire Service to Introduce French Working Practices from November 5th. 0
IABP 3 years
Myers-Briggs breaks myth of "modern-day managers" and reveal they're still JFDIs 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Couple win prize for 3 nights in Barcelona but their not allowed out in the day 13
Basil_B 3 years

because the prize is for nights only...

Jeffrey Archer's lack of style actually imposed by editor, researcher discovers 1
rickwestwell 3 years

Following the revelation that Jane Austen was a near-illiterate whose polished style was actually added by her editor, further research has shown that with author Jeffrey Archer, the exact opposite...

Nurse who mistakenly switched off life support asked to pay Mrs Thatcher a visit 3
Genghis Cohen 3 years
Mystery clumsy waiter ruins Brand/Perry wedding reception 12
Duncan Biscuit 3 years