Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Dismal Team GB archers urged to aim higher 1
tedweasel 02.11.11 8:53am
Squatting criminalization will cause havoc say toilet attendants 0
tedweasel 01.11.11 7:29am
Bouncers to end piracy

The shipping industry has announced today that it is going to employ nightclub bouncers on ships in an attempt to finally bring piracy to an end. The news comes just days after the Prime Minister...

Psycadelic Squirrel 01.11.11 6:49am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Hackers thwarted by discovery that Government had 'nothing worth nicking'. 0
Boutros 01.11.11 1:06am
St Paul's protestor complains there's nowhere to plug in her straighteners. 1
dominic_mcg 31.10.11 10:22pm
As World economy declines, Robert Peston's smugness grows.

Mmmooooore soon...

Perks 31.10.11 10:23pm
DoE cancels meeting with multi-cultural environmentalists because of 'cold'

The Duke of Edinburgh has had to pull out of an official engagement in Italy because of a cold, which manifests itself as an unexpected bout of 'racist tics' The Duke was due to be attending a...

Perks 01.11.11 12:25am
Footballer Apologises Over Race Row

Footballer Kevin Keegan today bowed to 3o years of pressure and apologised over his race comments. In 1976 the then Liverpool striker came off his bike in a spectacular crash during the heats of the...

reforse 01.11.11 9:01pm
Female royals allowed to inherit male baldness under new law. 0
nickb 31.10.11 6:20pm
St Paul resigns

In a shock development, first century saint, Paul (AKA Saul Tarsus), has resigned. "I've been thinking about it for some time.", explained the saint via a schoolgirl's dream and a face in a puddle,...

apepper 31.10.11 7:50pm
Poundland wins Unesco seat vote

Unesco has granted Poundland a vote. This is seen as the first step towards full recognition as a country. The move has been opposed by 99p Land; "They think they're up market, but 99p Land is...

apepper 31.10.11 4:50pm
Goths enjoy 'casual' clothes day on Halloween 2
thackaray 01.11.11 7:40am
Health conscious trick-or-treaters demand candy be organic 0
Dumbnews 31.10.11 3:48pm
Terry Wogan granted UNESCO World Heritage Status

Ever-green presenter Terry Wogan has been declared a World Heritage Site by UNESCO. He is the 28th presenter currently employed by the BBC to be awarded the status. "They cost a fortune to maintain,...

02.11.11 8:55am
Dean of St Paul's resigns as his position becomes untentable 2
medici2471 31.10.11 9:17pm
Palestinians get EuroVision Song Contest vote

The people of Palestine are to get a vote in the EuroVision song contest. The move has been critised by many other countries, fearing they will only ever give twelve points to their friends and...

Perks 31.10.11 2:41pm
“I’d probably bang Bale” admits Warnock

Self-proclaimed football manager Neil Warnock said Sunday that he received an incredible amount of sexual satisfaction from watching opponents score goals against his Queens Park Rangers team and...

Tim Collins 31.10.11 2:13pm
Tim Collins
Average wait for adoption now 86 years; "we have to be cautious"

Local authorities have attracted criticism about the length of time required to process adoption. "It's diabolical.", said Mr X, who is waiting for his adoption request to be completed. "The...

apepper 31.10.11 2:03pm
Savile row over bequest of star's suits 5
medici2471 01.11.11 8:05am
Typo in job ad sees a suprised Daily Mail recruit 5 Poof Readers 6
Perks 02.11.11 11:44am
Cows on Indian Grand Prix circuit make for "challenging" race

The inaugural Indian Grand Prix was a major success as an event. The drivers universally praised the layout of the 3.2-mile 16-turn circuit, and all agreed that swerving to avoid sacred cows...

Danny 01.11.11 12:10am
MythBusters investigate whether wanking really can send you blind

Popular 'Science entertainment' TV show MythBusters have responded to suggestions that the presenters are just overgrown kids playing with toys by investigating more grown-up topics, starting with...

CollieP 08.10.15 11:35am
Pumpkin prices hit year long high

The price of pumpkins hit a year-long high today- almost exactly a year after a similar high was followed by a devastating crash which wiped millions off the global value of the crop. A spokesman...

grumblechops 01.11.11 9:47pm
Cox pussy snatch tale comes to satisfying climax 1
medici2471 31.10.11 1:28pm
Male pattern baldness surges - World on verge of new recession 0
button 31.10.11 1:02pm
F1 rebels against clocks going back - hour head start "only way to pass Vettel" 0
butagirl 31.10.11 12:39pm
Who to attend London Conference on UK cyber attacks 3
medici2471 01.11.11 12:21am
Saville's last words: Bye then, bye then, ahahahahahahahahah. 0
martin2381 31.10.11 11:21am
Hamilton unable to pee with Button next to him. Jealous of power. More Soon 0
martin2381 31.10.11 11:20am
Npower blames energy price hikes on increased Ofgem fines 0
greg various 31.10.11 11:07am
greg various