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Alphabet in crisis due to plunge in number of Bs. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 13.06.13 5:37pm
Al OPecia
The Prince of Wales to be scrapped in funding review

After a funding review, the Government today announced plans for Prince Charles to be scrapped by 2017, and in addition, for Prince Edward, the Earl of Wessex, to be ‘mothballed’ for a decade, or...

suki 13.06.13 4:56pm
fun and games
RBS Pharaoh demands 2,000 employees be buried with him

Stephen Hester, or King Tut Tut the Third of RBS, has decreed that 2,000 former servants from the bank’s investment arm be buried alongside him in a specially designed pyramid. It is understood...

Darkbill 2.0 13.06.13 4:09pm
Volkswagen finally recalls 1963 Beetle. 0
Maverick 13.06.13 4:04pm
Police investigate curious goings on in Devon meadow.

Details are emerging of a curious story regarding the upkeep of a meadow in rural Devon. A local man, Arthur Jackson, had been hired by the council to mow the meadow once a week and on the first week...

sredni vashta 13.06.13 3:59pm
Prince Philip and Mandela sign organ donation pact 0
sydalg 13.06.13 3:40pm
New App will make sexual intercourse a reality for millions

Coming soon! Lovers worldwide are set to seal their passionate romance by enjoying full sexual intercourse over the internet. Pioneered by Silicon Valley upcomer USqueeze, the new app will allow...

Lenny Bee 13.06.13 3:02pm
Lenny Bee
WW1 Centennial commemoration plans announced.

Americans due to attend in 2017...

Zen 13.06.13 12:13pm
Midfield Diamond
HMRC investigate Google's taxes by Googling 'Google's taxes'

Martin Nunn, head of HMRC's Corporate Tax division, today responded to criticism about HMRC's lack of action against Google, who yet again have not paid any tax. At a press conference today, Mr Nunn...

John Wiltshire 13.06.13 11:46am
John Wiltshire
Cameron "Sold off UK summer in 2011"

It's been revealed that David Cameron sold off the British summer 2 years ago to try and pay off some of the national debt. Meteorologists said that explains why we've been going straight from a wet...

apepper 13.06.13 11:43am
Facebook now to include the “secret of fire”

Pleased by the success of including hashtagging within their social network, Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg has decided to roll out a series of innovative technological advances. First...

Wrenfoe 13.06.13 11:41am
Lindy Moone
NSA chief says PRISM protects World of Warcraft

General Alexander has revealed that the U.S.’s massive surveillance programme has been mainly geared towards protecting online gamers from having their “characters hacked”. “Dozens” of...

Wrenfoe 13.06.13 11:30am
Passenger averts plane crash after reading motivational quote on Facebook

A passenger on board flight BA16 to Madrid became an unlikely hero yesterday as he successfully wrestled with the controls of the stricken plane. Tim Nolan, stationery sales executive from Windsor,...

suki 13.06.13 11:27am
Chancellor boots Hester because 'bank was too expensive to sell'.

George Osborne has ousted successful RBS boss Stephen Hester to make the bank cheaper to privatise, it was revealed today. "We have to offload this bank and frankly, who's going to buy it for 45...

Boutros 13.06.13 11:23am
Martin-Baker advertises vacancy for tester - small amount of travel involved 3
Smart Alex 13.06.13 10:47am
Google Doodle to commemorate the last time they paid any tax 0
ianslat 13.06.13 9:26am
No Running, No Bombing, No Petting sign designer dies. Family request No Flowers

In accordance with his last wishes he will not be cremated so there will be, No smoking either...

Ian Searle 13.06.13 9:26am
Comedy Competition: Give the best Blow job and Win your own TV Series

To mark the beginning of the Edinburgh Festival....

ronseal 13.06.13 9:19am
MP calls for Newsbiscuit to be closed down as part of austerity measures

A small, independent website to take over in a few days time...

Ian Searle 13.06.13 9:01am
Ian Searle
BBC Comedy Unit launches Search for a Mockney Geezer competition

The BBC comedy unit has launched a new competition to unearth a new star from the Mockney community - a demographic that is currently under-represented on TV. In partnership with sponsors The Big...

ronseal 13.06.13 8:39am
Jesse Bigg
Hunt In A Spot Of Bother With Yorkshire MP's

Re once more round the ballroom, matron? May I be of some assistance Mr Hunt?...

Jesse Bigg 13.06.13 7:19am
Jesse Bigg
Police find indecent policies on Lib Dem coucil leaders computer 0
Scronnyglonkle 13.06.13 7:06am
Australian batsman takes a wild swing and misses. No news today. 4
FOAD 13.06.13 7:03am
Man denies incompetence claiming "piss-up was in Tuborg brewery" 0
quango 13.06.13 6:25am
God to give 5-year warranty on all creatures from 2015

The latest decison by the Creator of the Universe has ignited the biggest controversy since the Flood, and is being described by experts in theology as the last big divine decision before the Second...

sydalg 12.06.13 11:18pm
Man fails to find sight of child's lost shoe plaintive. 3
sredni vashta 12.06.13 8:38pm
Lindy Moone
Gay Lobby in Vatican to be repainted in more muted tones 1
ginty 12.06.13 8:30pm
"Big fat" now mandatory in all wedding headlines, says Daily Mail editor 0
sydalg 12.06.13 7:58pm
Lib Dems "Sorry about women"

A report into allegations of sexual impropriety in the Lib Dem party found that Mr Clegg should have asked more searching questions like “did you do it?” or “why did you do it?” and that the...

sillybugger 12.06.13 7:21pm
Burns night at the Old Inn, Hartpury

Burns victim Jason Stubbard choked back tears last night whilst describing how friends at the Old Inn, Hartpury saved him from a freak fire which started when he threw his cigarette end into a petrol...

blacklesbianandproudofit 12.06.13 6:58pm