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Cured schizophrenic beside himself with happiness 3
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Chinese Captain arrested at the port of San Francisco 3
arrghgarry 3 years

for hitting an immigration official who touched his Junk...

The religious debate continues... 0
Doylem 3 years

"The Bible is living proof that Jesus was the Messiah. He performed miracles. He turned water into wine". "No, what he actually did was turn wine into vinegar, and even then it took three days. It...

Population of New Zealand falls 0
roybland 3 years
Cameron to call upon North Korean military to squash student protests 0
roybland 3 years
Coalition plan to end student protests with offer of free IPods 0
roybland 3 years
New Zealand Lingerie Stores Offer ‘No Questions Asked’ Refunds 12
De-scribe 3 years

Lingerie stores across New Zealand’s South Island have joined together to offer ‘no questions asked’ refunds to the wives and girlfriends of the 29 trapped miners now feared dead after a second...

Unemployed suggest royal wedding bank holiday windfall 'unfair'. 0
J-Bird 3 years Scores of British unworkers today rallied against the Prime Minister's decision to make 29th April 2011 a...

``-``-``-``-``-``-``-``-`` 3
IABP 3 years
Student rioters distressed to find out their names now on Santa's naughty list 0
Milo Shame 3 years

Student rioters have reacted with shock tonight that Santa's helpers have infiltrated their ranks and have been recording names for Santa's naughty list. Giles Godwin, President of the National...

Fears for Jimmy Krankie as Scotland predicted 3ft of overnight snow 0
Milo Shame 3 years

Stirlingshire police have posted an alert to ascertain the whereabouts of beloved and diminutive comedian Jimmy Krankie. Inspector Donal McConvert has reminded local media that during the last cold...

Build up of ice on Neanderthals foreheads may have hastened their demise 0
Rowly 3 years

During the last ice age, their sloping foreheads became a disadvantage, as ice could build up to a thick layer overhanging their eyebrows.This meant they could not see where they were going, or hunt...

Waitrose to sponsor British Film Industry... 9
Dexter 3 years

forthcoming titles include 'The Men Who Stare At Goat's Milk', 'Night of the Living Bread' 'Scone in sixty Seconds' and 'The Buns of Navarone'...

Daily Mirror pensioners were much better off under Maxwell 3
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

Daily Mirror pensioners have rioted after administrators reported that there's less money in their pension funds "When Robert Maxwell was in charge of our pensions, we never had any problems," said...

National Ballroom Dance Academy to Sponsor Weather Forecasts... 0
Dexter 3 years

Snow, snow, thick thick, snow. More soon...

Harpo turned down for speaking clock vacancy... 5
Doylem 3 years
Face of Jesus found on painting of Jesus 9
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

New Voice of Speaking Clock Sought After Company Terminates Contract with Chico 0
thisisall1word 3 years
British Students react violentky to a redcution in their 19
arrghgarry 3 years

drink and drug money .Landlords and drug dealers joined the students to show their support and supply contraband.The Government has told the students that the degrees they will need are 180 degrees...

Beating the bishops at Synod... 0
Doylem 3 years

Where the Church used to provide unequivocal moral guidance ("Repent or be damned") it now offers the merest slap on the wrist to those who transgress. The Church used to take a lead; now, loathe to...

The big question at Synod: “Why are we here instead of, say, over there?”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Michael Gove to restore traditional values to English education 0
Sinnick 3 years

Well, that'll work, then recorded in 1978...

USA concedes victory in Afghan conflict 0
MC One R 3 years

The USA today conceded that the Afghan conflict cannot be won. "Looks like a win is unlikely given the current situation, but we can take away some positives like a reduction in the number of...

Corby Trouser Press added to Appellation D’Origine list 9
Zadok the second 3 years

The Corby Trouser Press, a hotel-based item mainly used by travelling sales reps with a preference for a crease down the front of their trousers has been awarded AoC status to protect it from cheap...

North Korea bring WWIII plans forward in honour of HMS Ark Royals decomissioning 1
Iamthestig 3 years
Ben Elton lined up to star in new "Man from A.U.N.T.I.E" movie alongside Clunes 0
Iamthestig 3 years
Stop Press: Carol Vorderman turns a job down... 7
Doylem 3 years

“I won’t do it, it demeans me and insults the audience’s intelligence. [i]How[/i] much did you say?”...

The United Nations Environment Programme takes steps to protect Celtic TIger 0
simonjmr 3 years

The United Nations Environment Programme (Unep) says that the St Petersburg Declaration will strengthen international collaboration to protect the majestic wild cats, and extended the protection to...

Proud Charles suggests son get horse-faced slapper on the side who swallows. 8
MADJEZ 3 years

More tabloid speculation soon...

Experts discover 'additional letters' in Janet Street-Porter's name 2
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Janet Street-Porter has admitted she was 'astounded' when researchers revealed that she has three instances of a previously unknown letter in her name. The new letter, provisionally called "tea" by...