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Prescott in Police Commissioner Race

Leading bookmaker reveals: My money's on the Police Comissioner...

0
alessandro 10.02.12 1:12pm
alessandro
Internet close to running out of stupid, irritating domain names.

The internet is close to running out of stupid, irritating domain names that mean fuck-all to anyone, industry sources reported today. On the day Wigan-based entrepreneur Darren Stokes found himself...

6
Haywood Manley 10.02.12 12:59pm
Haywood Manley
Gay Labour MP Chris Bryant compliments Ken Livingstone on being a useless cunt 3
Sinnick 10.02.12 12:47pm
button
Crack found in A380's wings is the worlds largest drug bust, claim the CAA 1
Iamthestig 10.02.12 12:41pm
MagnusOpum
Redknapp blames his illiteracy for accepting the England job ..

Harry Redknapp today apologised to Tottenham fans for leaving White Hart Lane to take up the England Manager's job., Speaking to reporters outside his home, Redknapp said, "Everyone knows I write...

0
Gourd Almighty 10.02.12 12:31pm
Gourd Almighty
Argentinian Tango Hell

As the 30th Anniversary of the Falklands Island invasion approaches, British defence preparations on the island have escalated to unprecedented levels amidst rumours of an Argentine invasion. In a...

0
benrussell 10.02.12 12:25pm
benrussell
New Banksy artwork found painted onto David Beckham's arse

Art experts are said to be ‘hugely excited’ after new adverts for clothing chain H&M revealed a new work by the reclusive artist Banksy, sprayed onto David Beckham’s arse. The adverts,...

5
The Paper Ostrich 10.02.12 11:48am
dvo4fun
NHS could offer new treatment to fight obesity

Prominent surgeon, Charles Hyphen-Smythe, has come up with a cheaper, faster, and less invasive alternative to stomach stapling. This new procedure, known as mouth stapling, can be performed in just...

5
Smart Alex 10.02.12 11:45am
dvo4fun
BBC apologise after listings typo offers a new series of "Homs Under The Hammer"

More soon. Although there may be more than one joke possible here...

4
MikeA4 10.02.12 11:37am
Son of Barnabas
Anfield cat on short list for new England Manager

Kenny, the homeless cat is available as he is currently 'between engagements' and already has an off shore bank account in his name...

0
Ian Searle 10.02.12 10:44am
Ian Searle
"Snow White and seven dwarves" deeply offensive, complains Diane Abbott

Labour MP Dianne Abbott has once again spoken out fearlessly in support of abused minorities, sparking a new row in theatreland. "It have come to my attention," said Ms Abbott yesterday "that there...

0
Son of Barnabas 10.02.12 10:37am
Son of Barnabas
Overweight Irish presenter to present SKY 1 Syria Special 'Aim On Homs' 0
charlies_hat 10.02.12 10:15am
charlies_hat
David Cameron announces special 30th anniversary Falklands Conflict on 2nd April 0
Iamthestig 10.02.12 10:05am
Iamthestig
Lottery winner "Looking forward to having a shave"

And employing a stylist and life coach...

0
Scroat 10.02.12 9:54am
Scroat
UN admits they 'don't have enough troops' to surround Eamonn Homs 1
Perks 10.02.12 9:51am
Gourd Almighty
Diane Abbott protests that all-white snow misrepresents meteorological diversity 0
cinquecento 10.02.12 9:09am
cinquecento
U.S. President accuses Syria of 'outrageous bloodshed'

-now that’s satire...

0
John Ffitch-Rucker 10.02.12 9:01am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Escaped female goats arrive on island and set up nanny state 3
Nick McCarr 10.02.12 8:30am
writinginbsl
Obama condemns Livingstone's onslaught on Homs 0
cinquecento 10.02.12 8:26am
cinquecento
Abu Qatada to improve public image with ‘I’m A Celebrity…’ appearance

Soon-to-be-released terrorist suspect Abu Qatada has been advised by his new PR agent Max Clifford to start appearing on as many celebrity shows as he can in an attempt to improve his poor public...

3
ianslat 10.02.12 8:25am
writinginbsl
Wanted – Experienced football manager for untenable position

Are you a football manager with extensive experience at the highest level? Are you looking for a part time job paying millions? Will you happily accept being undermined by your employer while keeping...

12
Vertically Challenged Giant 10.02.12 8:24am
writinginbsl
Tension at School of Astrology as students await predicted results....

More soon!...

1
grumblechops 10.02.12 8:21am
writinginbsl
Christian Leaders Call For Bible To Be Banned

Christian leaders around the globe are calling for schools and libraries to ban the Bible amongst increasing concern over offensive content and promotion of non-Christian values. Passages asserting...

5
Textbook 10.02.12 8:20am
writinginbsl
Redknapp wants England Job for Euros...

Yen, Dollars or Bhat; used notes preferred guvnor...

1
Ironduke 10.02.12 7:57am
charlies_hat
Government tells elderly to go back to work and downsize their homes

'Fuck off' replies Prince Philip...

0
Ironduke 10.02.12 12:51am
Ironduke
Diet craze encouraging people to 'exercise & eat less shit' sweeps UK

A new diet fad encouraging people to raise their heart rates slightly above average and to eat vaguely healthy meals is sweeping the nation. The radical new plan urges people to not finish their day...

1
Shandy 10.02.12 12:21am
dvo4fun
Fantasy Football managers to get opportunity to manage England

The Football Association have announced that after the resignation yesterday of Fabio Capello, that the new England manager will be selected from a shortlist of the top 100 Fantasy Football Managers...

2
simonjmr 09.02.12 10:58pm
FlashArry
Royal nutter's diary discovered after 200 years ?

Royal Archivist Sir Richard Possett has reported an unusual discovery in the stack of the Palace Archive to the Guild of Fusted & Dusty Librarians in London yesterday. "I was cataloguing the...

0
FlashArry 09.02.12 10:45pm
FlashArry
Wristwatch accuses '10 O' Clock Show' of plagiarism 0
09.02.12 9:25pm
Cyberman saddened by accusations of cybercrime

http://scienceblogs.com/insolence/cyberman2006.jpg, The Cyberman community spoke out yesterday as a cyberman was accused of phone and email hacking for News International’s disgraced News of the...

8
nickb 09.02.12 6:02pm
nickb