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Kate Middleton woos crowds with 'Fuck Morrissey' t-shirt 1
12.03.12 11:48am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Oppose gay marriage, say ageing transvestite child molesters 0
Oxbridge 12.03.12 11:48am
Doctor solves flu jab shortage by injecting patients with Lemsip

A junior doctor in Bristol today made national headlines by ensuring that all people classed ‘high-risk’ flu sufferers would receive a jab to reduce their likelihood of contracting the...

kimllfixit 12.03.12 11:42am
Global Financial Crisis "could spread to rest of world" say European economists 0
Nick McCarr 12.03.12 11:39am
Nick McCarr
Female F1 test driver is ideal candidate as she doesn't need to park. 0
seymour totti 12.03.12 11:13am
seymour totti
Corporate man's laughter "led to corporate manslaughter", says QC

When CEO Jeff Lopez laughed derisively at a junior colleague’s plans to improve the company website, he didn’t realise it would cause that colleague’s eventual death, a court heard. But...

nickb 12.03.12 10:34am
Duracell profit warning after EU battery hen ban.

"The last straw." said Duracell's spokesman in a highly charged press conference, " Following on from the previously reported loss of our AAA and AA ranges due to the financial situation in Europe we...

weematt 12.03.12 10:15am
Tabloids dub Vampire with hayfever as "The Pollen Count". 0
seymour totti 12.03.12 10:13am
seymour totti
Lib Dems win Crufts

"I'm comfortable with the term 'political poodle' if it means being the winning poodle," Nick Clegg told a rapturous crowd at the end of the Lib Dem conference. "First we win a place in government,...

nickb 12.03.12 9:58am
Prince Harry extends Jubilee tour to Columbia to be 'coked' up again 0
thackaray 12.03.12 9:55am
Excitement over Diamond Jubilee and Olympics can kill, say doctors

Over-excitement caused by the Queen's Diamond Jubilee will kill more older people this year than hyperthermia and over-excitement about the Olympics will kill more young people than the use of legal...

roybland 12.03.12 9:47am
Nick Clegg claims amendments to football rules mean he didn't score 'own goal'

Nick Clegg has upset members of his party during a charity football match at their spring conference by picking up his ball and walking off mid-match. His stubborn child -like behaviour comes as the...

Perks 12.03.12 9:45am
Cuisine emergency declared as chefs run out for wanky words for 'sauce' 0
Nick McCarr 12.03.12 9:34am
Nick McCarr
Texan BBQ supplier's launch of Koran briquettes condemned as incendiary 0
cinquecento 12.03.12 7:57am
Scholars reassess authorship of Hamlet following one-star Amazon review

The world’s foremost literary and theatre critics say they have been forced into reconsidering the merit of William Shakespeare’s epic five hour play Hamlet, following a scathing critique by an...

Skylarking 12.03.12 5:42am
John Sentamu backs Catholic Archbishop - rumours of engagement "premature"

Archbishop of York, John Sentamu, has supported Archbishop Vincent Nichols in opposition to gay marriages. "We've worked very closely on this issue and it's become clear that there is something more...

apepper 12.03.12 4:17am
Husband sent valentine with 'Moon Pig' written on it wife tells divorce court. 0
MADJEZ 12.03.12 12:23am
Zumba : 'Just fucking aerobics' claims top scientist. 0
MADJEZ 12.03.12 12:20am
Kate Middleton 'still not pregnant', confirms shocked tabloids.

Shockwaves have reverberated across the UK media with the confirmation of the news that, despite nearly a year of marriage, Prince William and Kate Middleton are still yet to expect a child. [i]"To...

WatcherMark 11.03.12 10:31pm
Relief all round as G.I. child killer didn't burn a Koran 1
yussle 11.03.12 10:28pm
Computer hacker broke into abortion site to get addresses of promiscuous girls. 2
MADJEZ 11.03.12 9:15pm
Double Glazing Co closes as customers tell them they're 'just window shopping'

I bet you could see right through that one...

Perks 11.03.12 9:09pm
US claims Falklands after working out where it is on a map

US Cartographers at the Department of Defence claim to have finally worked out where the Falklands is. Going one step further they have now submitted their own sovereignty claim to the UN. "We...

tomholder 11.03.12 9:08pm
Man who caught disease from plastic bag realises it could have been a carrier 3
Smart Alex 11.03.12 9:05pm
Catholic Church fights to keep loveless, soulless marriages special. 1
Mandy Lifeboat 11.03.12 9:00pm
'Giving pep-talks to garden snakes' probably a symptom of Asp urgers syndrome 3
Username 11.03.12 7:33pm
Alcoholism cured in one trip to the doctors 4
medici2471 11.03.12 5:02pm
Cameron orders anger management for cross section of coalition MPs.

On hearing that a cross section of government MPs were displeased with coalition polices David Cameron has ordered that they are identified and given anger management treatment. 'I am convinced that...

weematt 11.03.12 4:07pm
Oasis to reform as Oasis tribute band 4
Mandy Lifeboat 11.03.12 12:21pm
Nails UK
Toilet roll sales soar after Kate pays visit

The British Toilet Paper industry got a welcome boost yesterday when the Duchess of Cambridge was spotted coming out of a supermarket lavatory with a piece of toilet paper stuck to one shoe....

Nails UK 11.03.12 12:00pm