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Prince Philip's Ooh Matron remarks starting to wear a bit thin 0
Drylaw 24.12.11 4:58pm
Drylaw
Sober man treated in A&E on Christmas Eve, claims NHS. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 24.12.11 2:49pm
dominic_mcg
Airline fury as government force them to think of new way to rip-off people

Airlines, theatres and local government have reacted with fury at the reduction of charges for using credit or debit cards. "Our whole business model is based on charging £6 for things that cost us...

4
apepper 24.12.11 2:37pm
reforse
Terry apologises for calling Ferdinand 'black' still thinks he's a c**t though. 0
MADJEZ 24.12.11 1:04pm
MADJEZ
Man with mistletoe on belt buckle at office party "comic genius" say colleagues. 0
dominic_mcg 24.12.11 12:13pm
dominic_mcg
Divorcing Couple Play Football on Christmas Day - 2

In a touching gesture of Christmas spirit, divorcing couple Joe and Paula Western decided to set aside their differences on Christmas day, starting with a rendition of “Silent Night” before...

34
Quaz 24.12.11 12:06pm
Oxbridge
Innocent smoothie drunk by guilty roughian 0
nickb 24.12.11 12:06pm
nickb
Diana to blame for Philip heart scare claims Al-Fayed.

More Daily Express conspiracies soon...

0
MADJEZ 24.12.11 11:45am
MADJEZ
"Prince Philip's heart operation a complete success", Palace announces sadly 0
JohnA 24.12.11 11:34am
JohnA
Woman painted by Picasso now laughing on other side of her face 0
Smart Alex 24.12.11 10:36am
Smart Alex
Tributes pour in as Old MacDonald 'buys the farm' 0
Immunis 24.12.11 10:26am
Immunis
Government claims economy improving as seagull puts deposit on new car 0
Smart Alex 24.12.11 10:21am
Smart Alex
Economy saved as Chancellor finds sixpence in Christmas Pudding 0
Major Clanger 24.12.11 9:57am
Major Clanger
A Puppy is not just for Christmas. Jamie Olver makes his last till New Years Day 1
Username 24.12.11 9:46am
Major Clanger
Quality Street hit by xmas riots

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_ErYyaC6ivy0/Su4G1UlIZTI/AAAAAAAAJzs/pr_1Ln6gzNg/Quality%20Street%20tin%5B2%5D.jpg, The street synonymous with family values, community celebration and low cost dental caries...

1
nickb 24.12.11 9:44am
Major Clanger
Innocent, law-ignoring scrap metal dealers targeted by ruthless sculptor gang

Police have declared war on a ruthless gang of sculptors who are targeting scrap metal dealers in the South East, after a replaceable heap of metal junk was stolen overnight from a yard in Billericay...

10
Clarky 24.12.11 9:33am
Clarky
Incomplete Headlines Strike Agai 3
Immunis 24.12.11 9:06am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Foreign nurses in Cambridge unexpectedly given Christmas off 0
Perks 24.12.11 8:30am
Perks
Recovering George Michael leaves cottaging hospital. 0
MADJEZ 24.12.11 8:27am
MADJEZ
Prince Philip has breast implant removed

Cover story slips...

0
apepper 24.12.11 8:26am
apepper
Man with stocking fetish arrested for trespassing 0
charlies_hat 24.12.11 7:44am
charlies_hat
Alphaghetti pulled from shelves after found to contain MRSA and TB

Lab still checking for BSE...

2
Smart Alex 24.12.11 7:43am
charlies_hat
Straight man in gay sauna admits he "felt a bit of a dick" 2
grumblechops 24.12.11 1:53am
Nick McCarr
Plato cannot believe it's not butter. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 24.12.11 12:53am
Al OPecia
Cheeselets in surprise resurgance. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 24.12.11 12:50am
Al OPecia
DFS sale signals green shoots of economic recovery

In a surprise move, sofa retailer DFS announced today they are all set to buck the national trend of economic doom and gloom. The peddler of softwood, foam and velour seating confirmed that plans are...

3
Boutros 24.12.11 12:05am
Boutros
Inventor of electric seafood flexes his muscles

More to follow...

2
apepper 23.12.11 11:49pm
FlashArry
BMW link to erectile dysfunction

In research undertaken by the British Medical Association a link between driving a BMW and erectile dysfunction has been positively identified. It is estimated that the condition affects more than...

17
Dick Everyman 23.12.11 11:26pm
nickb
Dog particle found on sofa 0
nickb 23.12.11 11:19pm
nickb
I told you I was Kim Jong il

North Korean dictator pays final tribute to Spike Milligan...

8
Quaz 23.12.11 11:18pm
Quaz