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Attention-seeking pandas accused of "trying to do a Will and Kate" 2
sydalg 09.08.13 2:51pm
sydalg
Tennis racquet to be probed by You-Cannot-Be-Serious Fraud Office 0
sydalg 09.08.13 2:50pm
sydalg
New ISS pet will be a cat

After the recent unfortunate incident involving a robot pet (“Kirobo” in Japanese), which was sent to the space station to keep the crew entertained and happy, the next non science visitor will...

1
rogerg 09.08.13 2:45pm
Titus
Organ Show Cancelled

Crofts, the annual show event for theatre organs, has been cancelled this year because of health & safety concerns about the event. The difficulties in moving theatre organs - some of which can...

1
NewBiscuit 09.08.13 2:41pm
Titus
"I am not a monster!" - says monster

During an appearance at Dunstable Crown Court a man accused of serial murder, abduction, child abuse and multiple counts of rape - in common parlance a monster - today announced to the jury that he...

1
Paddy Berzinski 09.08.13 2:29pm
Wrenfoe
Missing SFO fraud files found

SFO delighted to announce that confidential B Aerospace fraud files have been found. Julian Assange rang to say he has them...

0
Starchy 09.08.13 2:05pm
Starchy
Street cleaners union demands sweeping reforms 3
Dumbnews 09.08.13 1:49pm
Lindy Moone
Simon Cowell denies he was in Edinburgh zoo nine months ago 3
sydalg 09.08.13 1:44pm
Titus
Offensive Van Slogans Changed From 'Go Home Or Get Arrested' to 'Please Go Home

or get arrested'...

0
Titus 09.08.13 1:15pm
Titus
Fry And Norton Enter Winter Olympics Two-Man Bob Competition

Clare Balding and Evan "Gollum" Davis considered for the ice dancing contest...

0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 09.08.13 1:09pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Britain could take a beating while prison warders look the other way says report

Britain could be isolated and have the shit kicked out of it n the showers - while the prison warders pretend not to notice, says a new report from The Hambleton Group, an unbiased think tank funded...

0
ronseal 09.08.13 12:46pm
ronseal
FBI accuse NASA bosses of Rocketeering 0
Scronnyglonkle 09.08.13 12:27pm
Scronnyglonkle
Advertising Standards Authority Condemns Misleading Van Advertisements

"The slogans are innccurate and misleading" sain an ASA spokesman. "They claim that illegal immigrants will be arrested. This is patently unture; hardly any of them ever are."...

0
Titus 09.08.13 12:26pm
Titus
Burglars Object to Vans Saying 'Stop Burgling Or You'll Get Arrested' 0
Titus 09.08.13 12:20pm
Titus
Rumours that BBC may launch Wild and Pointless Speculation Channel

Speculation is rife that the BBC may create a new rolling conjecture channel that gathers together experts in every subject, places them all in one room and forces them to argue endlessly about what...

14
Ludicity 09.08.13 12:06pm
nickb
UN Declares "Bongo-Bongo Land Election Completely Fair, But Country Is Fake" 0
Titus 09.08.13 11:54am
Titus
"Go Home" van extended to stupid people

The controversial van system telling illegal immigrants to "go home" has been extended to telling stupid people where they live. A spokesman explained; "There are plenty of people wandering around...

2
apepper 09.08.13 11:48am
apepper
Tide decides to stay out in Rhyl

The north Wales town of Rhyl has been hit by a further decline in interest in the area as the tide has decided to stay out for good. With the number of tourists dwindling since the 1960’s and...

9
Dick Everyman 09.08.13 11:40am
Wrenfoe
Football team ditch silly name. Now called 'Hull City Tiggers'

http://www.tiggerman.com/gallery/var/albums/sports/tigger-soccer-05.gif?m=1303184216...

0
MADJEZ 09.08.13 11:17am
MADJEZ
Zoo won't pander to expectant mother. 0
MADJEZ 09.08.13 11:05am
MADJEZ
Youth with two dots tattooed on his buttocks labelled a "bumlaut" 1
sydalg 09.08.13 11:01am
MADJEZ
Panda Sex Debate 'Not A Black-and-White Issue'

More pandas soon. We hope...

3
Titus 09.08.13 10:42am
Titus
Panda sex romp shame ends in pregnancy

Keepers at an Edinburgh zoo have been criticised by social services for allowing a young female panda in their care to become pregnant., The identity of the Panda remains unknown but it is believed...

3
Sam Bouca 09.08.13 10:05am
Titus
Saudi Arabia relaxes capital punishment sentences

In a surprise move, Saudi Arabia's Minister of Justice, His Excellency Emir Faisal Bin Awhaley announced changes to capital punishment sentences meted out to criminals. "To celebrate Eid, we are...

1
custard cream 09.08.13 10:04am
Titus
Councils Have No Problem with Travellers Provided They ... Travel 2
Titus 09.08.13 9:58am
Titus
Osborne unveils Conservative welfare reform plans

Chancellor of The Exchequer George Osborne today announced a raft of new measures to reduce the national debt: - 50% tax increase on Irn Bru, - 100% VAT on sales of deep fat fryers, - removal of...

4
blacklesbianandproudofit 09.08.13 9:57am
Titus
Dead shark found on New York subway : Jets deny involvement

"Somebody got all Bernstein on his ass"...

2
FlashArry 09.08.13 9:31am
Titus
Dwarf who accidently swallowed growth hormone undergoing rehobbitulation. 0
jimmydodger 09.08.13 9:17am
jimmydodger
Troll who persecuted three Billy Goats Gruff could be identified and prosecuted

Police are also investigating claims of historic abuse by the Pied Piper of Hamelin who, it is believed, lured hundreds of children away from their homes, two weavers who were involved in an...

2
Ian Searle 09.08.13 9:09am
Titus
Virgin Panda Admits 'Inhibitions Are Due To Strict Religious Upbriging'

More news of pious prudish pandas later...

0
Titus 09.08.13 9:00am
Titus