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Convicted polonium 210 killer receives half-life sentence. 4
spoole2112 4 years
Onion, Newsbiscuit, Losing Audience To Fox News Online 0
Textbook 4 years
Scandal: Shadow Chancellor a skinhead after Miliband shaves his Balls 0
Perks 4 years
Monkeys Write Shakespeare; "Hollyoaks is Next" 1
apepper 4 years

An experiment using millions of virtual monkeys has generated 99.99% of the complete works of Shakespeare. The programmer in charge commented, "Once this is complete, I thought what next? And...

Berlusconi found guilty - to be fed to the Christians 0
edmartin 4 years

more to come...

Tuition fees cut risks pole dancer shortage 8
Ironduke 4 years

Lap dance club owner Peter Strongfellow has slammed Ed Miliband's stated intention to cut University Tuition fees as "ill conceived and barely thought through", claiming it could "wreak havoc across...

Travellers to ply a different trade 3
greg various 4 years

"Need any legal advice mate, only I've got some left over from another job."...

Weapons company fires staff 1
greg various 4 years

Boom! Boom!...

Spontaneous combustion threat to elderly this winter, Government warns 5
roybland 4 years

Thousands of Britain's elderly could die this winter through spontaneous combustion, according to the government. The warning comes a few days after an Irish coroner decided that Michel Faherty, 76,...

Climate change agnostics demand the right to send kids to non faith schools 6
ronseal 4 years

Agnostics, who aren't sure whether or not there's an omnipotent deity in the sky who wants us all to follow Al Gore, are to be allowed to send their children to new, non faith schools, where they can...

Microsoft attempts to win over middle classes with Awnings for Windows. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Ed Balls apologises for not beating Miliband in leadership election 1
medici2471 4 years

Plenty more soon....

National Anthems are changing faster than they can be Recorded 0
apepper 4 years

The 2012 Olympics have been thrown into chaos by the surge in the number of national anthems. A spokesman for the London Symphony Orchestra, who are recording all the anthems for the forthcoming...

Healthy living adds days to your life, but removes life from your days 0
Dumbnews 4 years
REPOST Egyptian hieroglyphs early version of Facebook claims archaeologist 2
simonjmr 4 years

Mark Zuckerberg CEO for Facebook has today been served a cease and desist order issued on behalf of the Egyptian government, claiming that he stole the idea for Facebook from the ancient Egyptians....

Computer Simulations Verify that Shakespeare was Originally Written by Monkeys 0
kga6 4 years

New evidence has been found to support the theory that the entire works of Shakespeare were first written by a room of monkeys with typewriters. A recent excavation, just off Henley Street,...

Box containing 200 things worth fuck all found in the solent 0
RJWinter 4 years
Labour leader to apologise for being Labour leader 1
roybland 4 years

Ed Miliband will apologise to this week's Labour conference in Liverpool for being the party's leader. The move comes as a damming opinion poll in the Sun reveals just one in 20 voters think he is a...

Miliband denies trialling prototype invisibility cloak 0
medici2471 4 years

Due to appear in Liverpool tomorrow...

Knox is diabolical, says Italian lawyer - breaking news from 1554 0
medici2471 4 years

no more soon...

Apple unveils 'Appacino', app that downloads coffee direct to your phone 3
tvhack 4 years

Apple has today announced its latest groundbreaking app - the Appacino. For just £2.50 a go, the Appacino will download the coffee of your choice direct to your phone. Apple is convinced it will...

£150m of silver found over 1 mile under the Atlantic 0
Perks 4 years

In other news, Cameron buys Clegg a snorkel as an early Christmas present...

Virtual Monkeys defeated by Windows online help. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Le Constant Gardener, 2011, 1789 mins, (PG) 2
flim-flam 4 years

A high-flying French politician and amateur horticulturalist, Nicolas Sarkozy, finds his monotonous life turned upside down after he falls in love with a beautiful young activist named Carla....

Gordon Brown to give Ed Miliband lessons in sincerity, charm & 'natural warmth' 0
dvo4fun 4 years

More later...

Apple Sues Apple "Deliberately Copying Our Stuff" 0
apepper 4 years

In a largely expected move, Apple is suing itself for "slavishly copying" not only it's range of tablets and phones but also it's "coolness". "It's obvious", said an Apple spokesman. "We produce a...

Wall Street protest grows in New York - Michael Douglas in hiding 0
simonjmr 4 years
Samsung bans Apple, Apple bans Samsung. Real life expected to return slowly. 0
Ostsee 4 years
The Jolly Pit Foundation sues Hollywood superstars over loss of income 0
simonjmr 4 years

The Jolly Pit Foundation based in the South Yorkshire toen of Elsecar has today announced that they are formally suing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie over the confusion caused by their Jolie Pitt...

Brazilian couple stranded in West Country phone for rescue 4
Clarky 4 years

A desperate couple from Sao Paulo were forced to phone relatives in Brazil for help, when they found themselves marooned in the West Country. The pair, whose rented car ran off the road in Cornwall,...