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Tories admit to spread betting on opinion polls to raise party funds.

Following an investigation by The Telegraph, Eric Pickles has admitted that the Conservative party has been spread betting on the state of the parties in the opinion polls to raise party funds....

0
Ian 01.04.12 11:11am
Ian
Pete Tong tells journalists: "It's all going really well, actually" 0
Nails UK 01.04.12 11:05am
Nails UK
Shark attack victim "enriched lives of family and friends". And shark. 0
Nails UK 01.04.12 11:01am
Nails UK
Muamba baffles female nurses by successfully explaining offside rule

I'll get my coat...

0
Underconstruction 01.04.12 9:39am
Underconstruction
Government to appoint Storage Tzar

David Cameron has announced that the government is to 'take stock' of recent criticisms and appoint a senior official to oversee all national storage-related issues. The role will address 'the safe...

2
Underconstruction 01.04.12 9:38am
weematt
Journalist fury at government "April Fools"

Journalists have reacted with anger at the government's April Fool jokes over the last few days. "We expect government statements at least to have a basis in reality, but now they're taking the...

0
apepper 01.04.12 9:02am
apepper
MPs fail to ease sperm shortage.

Since progeny of donated sperm have been able to trace their fathers, donations have dried up. MPs decided to address the shortage by donating in a special mastabatorium in Westminster. The husband...

0
alanthetortoise 01.04.12 8:50am
alanthetortoise
Police demand more relaxation time...

A spokesperson reclined to comment...

4
Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 8:36am
Theodore Sprangshaft
PM refused to be drawn on stalking artist claim 2
Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 7:29am
Theodore Sprangshaft
George Galloway "Abu Qatada is misunerstood! and wants to be a scout leader" ! 1
wilkieone 01.04.12 7:13am
Mr Target
What is the point of 'The Midlands'?

So annoying when you are trying to get from Manchester to London or vice versa? Can't we move it closer to Norfolk so that we have all the really boring places in one spot?...

1
Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 7:02am
Mr Target
Marylebone take down statue of it's most famous son..

Norman Wisdom after it fell over for the 5th time...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 4:43am
Theodore Sprangshaft
I have never understood why they test cosmetics

and perfumes on rabbits as they can't afford to buy it no matter how good they smell or look after...

2
Theodore Sprangshaft 01.04.12 4:30am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Arab Spring most likely caused by ‘accident with a jerry can’ , claim experts

The popular uprisings that swept the Arab world in the spring of 2011 were most likely the result of Mohamed Bouazizi’s amateurish efforts to decant petrol from a jerry can in the kitchen of his...

4
Gary Stanton 31.03.12 11:03pm
Gary Stanton
Queue to 'panic charge' electric cars enters third week

A queue outside an on-street car charger has been cordoned off by Kensington council, as it extended to an 'unbelievable' third car. Following advice to keep their cars 'topped up' if they happen to...

7
31.03.12 10:17pm
Perks
North of England switched off during Earth Hour 0
Mandy Lifeboat 31.03.12 8:49pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Apple and Blackberry Crumble

Blackberry announce $125mil loss. Apple under investigation for "Working Practices" in China. Government worried that panic buying of custard will cause havoc in Tescos...

0
anhodika 31.03.12 8:29pm
anhodika
Armed Forces strike: Government advice blamed for ‘panic’ Falklands Invasion.

The UK government has changed its advice for Argentina to, “top up your tanks”, after a panic invasion of the Falkland Islands. On Thursday, Prime Minister David Cameron advised...

0
HenroPlod 31.03.12 8:10pm
HenroPlod
Former Monkey Mike Nesmith elected leader of Unionist Party.

http://jaydeanhcr.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/nesmith.jpg...

0
MADJEZ 31.03.12 8:00pm
MADJEZ
Horse Survives Accident

Apparently, according to his owners, he's in a stable condition...

4
GillsImp 31.03.12 7:05pm
Runestone Cowboy
Vin Diesel unhappy about his reputation

Vin Diesel has threatened to sue the UK government over slurs that Diesel is in short supply. He stated that he is still available for work...

3
GillsImp 31.03.12 6:57pm
dvo4fun
Petrol Heads Game Show to be Re-visited

the BBC are looking at bringing back the game show Petrol Heads hosted by Neil Morrissey., A BBC spokesperson stated that the time was right to bring back this fantastic show at a time of fuel...

0
GillsImp 31.03.12 6:18pm
GillsImp
New virus causing irrational and panic buying behaviour has been identified

A new virus has been identified causing a pandemic amoungst the population. The WHO (world health organisation) have released details of this virus, stating, "it causes irrational behaviour,...

0
Claire 31.03.12 6:10pm
Claire
Cameron to feature in new Blockbuster

David Cameron is to feature in a new docu film highlighting his leadership of the coalition government. the film will focus heavily on his policies in particular his treatment of the elderly and so...

2
wilkieone 31.03.12 5:49pm
Jesse Bigg
Pasty Gate Latest

I built a gate out of pasties. Fell apart when I tried to open it. Smelt good though...

0
GillsImp 31.03.12 5:05pm
GillsImp
Cameron demands ministerial announcements are subject to gaffe controls.

Following a long and difficult week Prime Minister Cameron has decreed that all ministerial announcements are checked for gaffes, and any escape is controlled quickly. Cabinet Minister Francis Maude...

0
weematt 31.03.12 4:42pm
weematt
Labour "not insensitive to petrol injury woman" claims spokesman, Andy Burnham 0
LittleSpender 31.03.12 4:30pm
LittleSpender
Calls for Maude's resignation intensify as fire breaks out on cruise ship 1
nostra da mouse 31.03.12 3:46pm
Clucksy
Shock Portas Pilot Town win for Mogadishu

The citizens of war-torn Mogadishu have erupted into a frenzy of celebration as news broke that their city had been picked to become a Portas Pilot Town. The Somalian capital was considered a rank...

0
flim-flam 31.03.12 1:25pm
flim-flam
"Big Society" To Be Narrowed Down To Two Divisions......

Division 1: Dave's mates., Division 2: Those who can see the "Big Society" in the 'all together.'...

0
Jesse Bigg 31.03.12 12:36pm
Jesse Bigg