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Zen monk on strip club indecency charges admits only one hand was clapping 0
sydalg 12.08.13 7:10pm
US Judge tells Christ to change his name to "Crickey"

A Tennessee judge has instructed Jesus Christ to change his name to Jiminy Crickey. "You can't go around with a name that's also what people shout when they drop a cup of tea in their lap...

apepper 12.08.13 7:01pm
South Contemplates Legal Action Against North As Gibraltar Civil War Intensifies 0
Titus 12.08.13 5:39pm
UK declares all-out exercise on Spain 0
Squudge 12.08.13 5:20pm
Old people just got their own anonymous vitriol spitting wire service Trollegram

Older members of the community could be brought up to speed with the modern practise of anonymous spite, with the launch of a new Trollegram service, of bicycle delivered, printed insults. ...

ronseal 12.08.13 4:46pm
Zen play flops to the sound of one hand not clapping.

..more soon...

Al OPecia 12.08.13 3:39pm
sredni vashta
Grandmother bound over in "bondage for Valium" sex and drugs scandal 0
Arthur 12.08.13 2:08pm
Simon Cowell's TV appearances to start with "from our own co-respondent" 1
sydalg 12.08.13 1:39pm
Lindy Moone
The Great British Bake Off - Paul Hollywood shows how to make a cheap tart

Details of the new series of The Great British Bake Off have just been released by the BBC. They are: Episode 1 - Paul Hollywood shows how to get your hands on a cheap tart Episode 2 - Paul...

John Wiltshire 12.08.13 1:29pm
John Wiltshire
Winnie the Pooh arrested in pandaphilia shocker

"Worse than Jimmy Savile" is how Scottish authorities described Winnie the Pooh after his arrest earlier this morning as part of Operation Honeytree. Tian Tian, the panda at the centre of the scandal...

britwombat 12.08.13 12:48pm
Fat woman in nightie charged with gross negligee - 2 30
John Wiltshire 12.08.13 12:22pm
Shareholders 'furious' as ex-RBS chief revealed as latest Dragon in the Den

Irate RBS shareholders watched on in horror on Sunday as former RBS CEO Fred Goodwin, who was recently stripped of his Knighthood after the banking group recorded the largest financial losses in...

Jesus H 12.08.13 11:37am
Jesus H
Crystal Maze presenter reveals gold paper fraud

Richard O'Brien, former host of cult 90s TV gameshow, The Crystal Maze, today sensationally broke a 20-year silence to expose one of the show's most enduring secrets., In an interview with The...

clicktingstampz 12.08.13 10:49am
England 'organized bands of showers' in case the Ashes tests went the wrong way 0
Not Amused 12.08.13 10:12am
Not Amused
Pandas who eat, shoot and leave will pay child support, vows minister 0
sydalg 12.08.13 9:48am
Politician accused of "accuracies in speech"

Tesco and Next have accused a shadow minister of slipping accurate information into a forthcoming speech. "This is disgraceful.", said a spokesman for Tesco. "We thought we knew where we were; when...

apepper 12.08.13 9:25am
Sir Ranulph Fiennes abandons expedition to find Coke bottle with his name on - 2

British adventurer Sir Ranulph Twisleton-Wykeham-Fiennes has said he's been left feeling 'deflated and unfulfilled' after being forced to call off a three-month nationwide expedition to find a bottle...

Jesus H 12.08.13 8:38am
Athletes Urged To Adopt "Grayson Salute" At Winter Games

Stephen Fry is urging winning athletes at the Winter Olympics to perform the "Grayson Salute" as they celebrate receiving their medals. "With one hand placed on a cocked hip, elbow rampant, and the...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 12.08.13 8:38am
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Hate-preacher Sheik Issa Panda arrested at Edinburgh zoo

Hate-preacher Issa Panda is accused of inciting followers to kill ginger pandas taking part in the Ginger Pride march through Edinburgh. An Al Quaeda panda spokesmen said ginger pandas better stop...

Starchy 12.08.13 2:30am
Breakaway Jocks plot to kidnap the Queen

SNP Minister says they might decide to keep the Queen after independence. English Monarchy Defence spokesman Mussaf El Assid of Dunstable, said "You Jocks can get your greasy hands off our Queen. ...

Starchy 12.08.13 2:10am
Jacob Rees-Mogg "clearly a mistake" say his parents. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 11.08.13 9:47pm
Baby Panda To Be Named George VIII

Or strictly speaking, George I of Scotland and George VIII of England...

Titus 11.08.13 9:36pm
NB Contributors Threaten Boycott In 'Nightie' Post Protest

Several regular contributors to the Writer's Page of NewsBiscuit are threatening to refrain from submitting further samples of their brilliant wit unless and until the management of the Newsbiscuit...

Titus 11.08.13 9:30pm
Scotland excitedly awaits the world's first ginger panda. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 11.08.13 9:16pm
Schrödinger's Panda

Is there a cub? Or is there not a cub?...

Titus 11.08.13 9:12pm
Cameron tells Rees-Mogg to choose one surname and stick with that.

Two surnames being too posh and two surnames and a hyphen is just indecisive...

deskpilot3 11.08.13 9:11pm
Rees-Mogg unavailable for comment.

As he is currently on holiday in Bongo Bongo land...

deskpilot3 11.08.13 9:07pm
Mandelson joins Conservatives

As Ed Milliband dithered over calls to appoint Mandelson as his Spin Doctor, David Cameron shocked Westminster by announcing Mandelson would join the Cameroons. The PM said people should not be...

Starchy 11.08.13 8:51pm
Man re-docorates after fault develops with new Dyson Digital Arse Wiper 1
antharrison 11.08.13 8:42pm
Scottish media accused of panda ring 1
Lindy Moone 11.08.13 8:40pm