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Prince Andrew Hangs Onto Trade Envoy Job..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..But still too idle to catch the 6.15am train...

Hague Libyan Cockup.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..Due to him wearing his baseball cap at the time...

Swiss Army knife enhanced to include a usb flash drive 7
Dumbnews 3 years
Freed Lockerbie Bomber Develops "Really Bad Hangnail" 0
rikkor 3 years

Hospital bedside round-the-clock death watch. Tripoli doctors also fear the after effects of haggis poisoning...

John Prescott new face of John Lewis "never knowingly understood". More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Hague admits undercover diplomat was Prince Andrew. Libyan rebels "infuriated". 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

"we had hoped they'd have kept him for a bit longer". More soon...

Prince Andrew attends party hosted by self-professed 'queen of England' 1
Skylarking 3 years
"a gigantic error of judgment" 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Buy one get one free at the House of Windsor...

Berlusconi undergoes shaddupayouface surgery. 0
riesler 3 years

Red Admiral succumbs as they run out of butterfly stitches in the lepidopterist 0
3 years
2011 Census forms sent out 0
captain747480 3 years

Only 24997989 to go...

Caster Semenya denies she is a sugar daddy 5
3 years
Pressure on Andrew to quit 'scapegoat' role 1
Zadok the second 3 years

Pressure is mounting on Prince Andrew to resign his traditional post of 'scapegoat for the royal family' amid claims he is "too good at his job". A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace explained that...

MacDonalds to fit double doors 0
OldThingy 3 years

for slightly wider trolleys...

‘Arsey bitch’ now protected under discrimination laws 4
Zadok the second 3 years

Adding 'being an arsey bitch' to existing definitions of ‘protected characteristics’, as defined by the Equalities Act, could throw workplaces into turmoil, a leaked government email has revealed...

Desdemona seeks transfer after string of bad results 0
Des and Stan 3 years

Star player Desdemona confirmed rumours today that she is seeking a transfer from Moor of Venice, a team currently struggling after a string of poor results going back over 400 years. ‘I...

Fan in Row Z asked to referee match... 0
Doylem 3 years

Thanks to his astute reading of the game, from his seat high up in the stands at Old Trafford, Frank Finnigan, 26, a Manchester United fan of many years standing, has been asked to officiate at his...

Prof. Brian Cox Reported Missing: presumed lost in own thought 4
nilbymouse 3 years
Man with photographic memory gets it jammed on his 10 year old birthday 0
3 years

when he walked in on his two gay dads after an unsatisfactory sex session...

Electoral reform suggests elections and Census to merge - 1st Concensus in 2021 0
simonjmr 3 years
Census forms sent by post to have ‘sorry, I was not at home when you called’ box 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Man United unsuccessfuly launches UK’s largest flood defence exercise at Anfield 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Hopes fade for a BBC No Fry zone 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
National lottery terminals to be used as polling booths 2
simonjmr 3 years
Huge Lancashire road convoy as Oddbins delivers to Freddie Flintoff’s house 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Ed Miller-Band to cover Steve Miller Band's The Joker. Call me Maurice says Ed. 0
Banking Escapee 3 years

Just a quickie...

Polite society engages in civil war 0
Des Custard 3 years
Rare ancient Briton discovered on Antiques Woad Show... 0
be reasonable 3 years

more bronze-age puns later...

Sky at Night cancelled in parallel universe 0
Milo Shame 3 years

Astronomers have discovered that The Sky at Night, the longest running, single presenter programme in television history was actually cancelled in a parallel universe in 1992. Dr Joshua Banks,...

Charlie Sheen passes drugs test - he's now 90% pure cocaine. 2
Ian Searle 3 years