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Aged Fetishists Confound A&E

A&E specialists have demanded more training for staff after a series of incidents found staff unable to cope. "We have had several instances in recent weeks of older patients coming to us unable...

0
sillybugger 13.08.13 7:56pm
sillybugger
"Paxman ignores Occam's Razor"

One of Not Amused's really, even if he won the Neat-O by breaking the rules...

0
Al OPecia 13.08.13 6:55pm
Al OPecia
Paxman assumed he could borrow Occam's razor.

no more soon., I'm sure there's a better Occam's razor headline there somewhere., Hat tip to nickb whether he wants it or not...

1
Not Amused 13.08.13 6:54pm
Al OPecia
Celebrating 'A' Level Student still leviating from last year.

Mrs Mary Potts, mother of Abigail Potts, has warned parents to be on watch for excessive celebrations associated with 'A' Level success this week as her own child is still levitating from last year's...

2
Milo Shame 13.08.13 6:14pm
Maverick
Argentine forces invade Isle of Wight

Argentine takes control of Isle of Wight and installs Diago Maradonna in Osborne House. UN says island disputes threaten to engulf Europe in bloody conflict...

0
Starchy 13.08.13 3:13pm
Starchy
Gov to send the Isle of Wight to Gibraltar ...

Many of its residents are still on 'Armada watch'...

0
Kramaring 13.08.13 2:42pm
Kramaring
Paxman razor "left home after allegations of bullying" 0
nickb 13.08.13 2:17pm
nickb
Twitter troll ‘Psycho The Rapist’ exposed as psychotherapist 3
farmer giles 13.08.13 2:10pm
beau-jolly
Engaged Ginger Couple Complain Of Absence Of Ban On Ginger Marriage

"We've had a Ginger Pride march" said Miss Geraldine ('Ginger') Roberts "But when we got engaged, we found there was no reason why we could not get married. That is outrageous." "Yeah, this is so...

2
Titus 13.08.13 1:43pm
Titus
Ed Miliband Adamant That Labour Needs A Strong Leader

Ed Miliband has spoken out strongly in support of his shadow cabinet colleagues in their call for firm and decisive leadership. "We will be placing adverisements for a suitable person in the...

0
Titus 13.08.13 1:26pm
Titus
Royal family to be sponsored by Wonga

With the strain on the public purse forcing down the amount of money given to the royal family, her majesty Queen Elizabeth has announced a long-term sponsorship deal with payday loan company Wonga....

0
antharrison 13.08.13 1:18pm
antharrison
Celebrities flock to back local council in school closure

Paul McCartney and Beyonce are two of the latest international celebrities to put their names in support of the decision by Wandsworth Council to close St Drogo Primary School in Battersea. The...

1
bonjonelson 13.08.13 1:17pm
sydalg
Barclays Bank brothers "to buy Isle of Man"

Controversial artists Norbert and Godfrey Barclays Bank are putting the millions they made selling conceptual art into buying the Isle of Man, and turning it into their own private artists' colon....

0
nickb 13.08.13 12:31pm
nickb
Hacker finds that Hugh Grant's password consists of four webdings and a numeral 1
Smart Alex 13.08.13 12:28pm
Lindy Moone
Poor exam results crush ambition, agree Sir Paul McCartney and David Beckham

Sir Paul McCartney today agreed with the report from The Prince's Trust which said that poor exams results leave young people with no ambition. 'It's a total downer,' he said. 'I really wish I'd...

1
John Wiltshire 13.08.13 12:00pm
Wrenfoe
GPs to be prescribed Ritalin to control their hyper Ritalin prescribing.

nomore soon....

0
Not Amused 13.08.13 11:23am
Not Amused
Rodeo clowns fall foul of Voter ID Law

Missouri is the first US state to ban voters from wearing Baggy Pants, Big Shoes or donning a masked likeness of President Obama. While North Carolina now insists upon photo ID, 'The Show-Me State'...

0
Wrenfoe 13.08.13 11:15am
Wrenfoe
Use of ADHD drugs is - oh look at that aeroplane! 1
John Wiltshire 13.08.13 10:51am
Arthur
Study finds 63% of people think Gibraltar "named after Bee Gees" 0
sydalg 13.08.13 10:42am
sydalg
Mary Berry hits out at violence on TV

Mary Berry, star of The Great British Bake Off, today lashed out furiously at violence on television. 'I f***ing hate it!' she screamed at a press conference today. 'All this violence! Gordon...

0
John Wiltshire 13.08.13 10:18am
John Wiltshire
Retired England cricketer lambasts Australia’s poor batting performance.

The retired cricketer, who made the anonymous comment on Twitter, “[i]my granny can bat better than that,[/i]” later said “when I was playing for England between 1967 and 1981, we could expect...

0
FOAD 13.08.13 10:15am
FOAD
Zen monk starts hairdressing salon, One Hand Clipping 2
sydalg 13.08.13 9:54am
Wrenfoe
For Those Watching In Black-and-White, Pandas ARE Only in Black-And-White

The ginger ones are on drugs or wearing wigs...

0
Titus 13.08.13 9:48am
Titus
Outrage That Only Four People Will Be Able To Buy A McDonalds' Quarter-Panda 0
Titus 13.08.13 9:46am
Titus
Scottish restaurants already taking orders for deep-fried panda cub 0
sydalg 13.08.13 9:42am
sydalg
Near-death experiences found to be because dying people are near death

Scientists believe they have finally discovered the reason why so many people report near-death experiences. Professor Iain McAndrew, Head of Near Death Experiences at Stafford hospital, said:...

1
John Wiltshire 13.08.13 9:20am
Titus
Bedridden Granny Not Impressed By NHS Hospital Care

"I nearly choked when one of the care staff acidentally failed to leave a cup of tea just beyond my reach" claimed partly-paralised, Parkinson-suffering stroke patient Kathleen Whitcroft, 86....

0
Titus 13.08.13 9:04am
Titus
Nine out of ten callers to radio 5 phone say news item beggars belief

A news item has beggared belief among 90 per cent of the population, if a sample of participants in a radio phone in show is typical. In a discussion on cycle lanes, caller after caller phoned in to...

3
ronseal 13.08.13 8:59am
ronseal
Geriatric Hospital Patient Has Commode Emptied Over Her Head After Complaining

"She was lucky" said the deputy assistant ward administration management support co-ordinator. "Most of the patients in that ward are never permitted to get anywhere near a commode. Our care staff...

0
Titus 13.08.13 7:52am
Titus
Computer Historians find the original Granny Knot logic gate 0
Scronnyglonkle 13.08.13 7:22am
Scronnyglonkle