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British hospitals full to bursting with idle pregnant duchesses

As the NHS warns that patient care is suffering due to the shortage of beds, happy news reaches us that Mrs Elsie Grimthorpe an octogenarian who has worked tirelessly her entire life has given up her...

grottymonty 03.12.12 10:25pm
Starbucks - Osborne orders trenta but is served a demi 0
custard cream 03.12.12 10:01pm
custard cream
New Starbucks slogan - 'Wake up and smell the money' 0
custard cream 03.12.12 9:59pm
custard cream
Starbucks Customer to Start Paying Tax

Conscience-stricken Starbucks customer James Atkinson has announced that he will, in future, offer to pay income tax on his cash ISA., "I know, legally, I don't have to pay any tax at all on a cash...

Titus 03.12.12 9:33pm
Posh and Becks to call their next child Hyperemesis Gravidarum. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.12.12 9:06pm
Sales of Little Princess On Board car window stickers rocket 0
Drylaw 03.12.12 8:49pm

Girls seen everywhere dancing in green-and-white-check cotton dresses as Gingham Style goes viral...

Titus 03.12.12 8:44pm
Man who saw a magic carpet flying overhead was under an illusion. 0
weematt 03.12.12 8:42pm
The baby won't be called Shagpile. It was our magic carpet says Wills.

More from the tower soon...

Not Amused 03.12.12 8:36pm
Not Amused
Storm at claim that Inland Revenue "pay little or no tax"

People are reacting with fury as it's been revealed that the Inland Revenue has been paying no tax at all on the £120 billion received each year. "This is an outrage.", said an MP, "If they paid...

apepper 03.12.12 8:21pm
Kate on a drip - Prince Edward spotted in the area 0
custard cream 03.12.12 8:09pm
custard cream
Queen reveals Duchess is surrogate mother

International Pop Queen, Sir Elton John has announced the true identity of the surrogate mother chosen to bear his second child. In a secret deal it has been revealed that Kate, the Duchess of...

Dick Everyman 03.12.12 7:57pm
Dick Everyman
Stranded Nigerian prince resorts to texting after failing to attract email help 0
custard cream 03.12.12 7:56pm
custard cream
Palace concerned about sales of Endoscopic cameras to Paparazzi. 3
beagle 03.12.12 7:49pm
News of Royal pregnancy not taken well by Harry

Following the delightful news that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their first child, reports have emerged that Prince Harry has not taken the news well. The as yet unborn Heir will...

Perks 03.12.12 7:48pm
Harry said to be excited about his first born. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.12.12 7:45pm
Pope uses tweet to announce 3 for2 offer on indulgences, sale starts Boxing day 1
reforse 03.12.12 7:30pm
Wakefield man ‘not bothered’ by drop to 56,784,933rd in line to the throne. 1
malgor 03.12.12 7:22pm
Osborne reintroduces Wool Tax to cash in on upcoming bootie knitting frenzy 0
Nowherefast 03.12.12 7:13pm
Some baby names deserve another chance. Welcome Queen Myra the First... 0
Tripod 03.12.12 7:07pm
William announces new heir

more soon he hopes...

Dick Everyman 03.12.12 7:02pm
Dick Everyman
William 'Unsure how they'll manage when Kate's Avon money stops rolling-in'

Prince William has spoken of his concerns about managing to balance his household budget given that Kate will have to stop selling Avon cosmetics to friends and family when the baby is born. 'On top...

antharrison 03.12.12 6:34pm
Hospital ratings improve as death is re-classified as ‘targets met’... 0
Tripod 03.12.12 6:19pm
Floods, cut-backs, paedophiles, hacking, royal baby - more bad news 0
Dick Everyman 03.12.12 6:07pm
Dick Everyman
“Celebrity bloodbath going to plan”, as public accepts call to arms...

Celebrities are falling like flies as members of the public respond to the call to take up arms and attack. Trevor Wilmott, borough surveyor and gunman, is holed up at a paramilitary training camp,...

Tripod 03.12.12 6:04pm
Ryde beef tallow candle factory to make Isle of Wight self-sufficient in energy. 0
Boutros 03.12.12 5:57pm
Sibling rivalry: Catherine has acute morning sickness to compete with a cute ass 0
Perks 03.12.12 5:19pm
Palace confirms latest royal baby 'Unlikely to be named Bing' 0
antharrison 03.12.12 5:11pm
Speaker Bercow caps use of 'Dowler' & 'McCann' in Leveson debate

More later...

dvo4fun 03.12.12 5:08pm
Woman knew Kate was pregnant after saying so every day since wedding.

More self fullfilling prophecies soon...

MADJEZ 03.12.12 5:06pm