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Marathon rhinos still being killed for their tusks, This running season, at least 20 rare marathon rhinos will be killed by poachers hoping...

nickb 21.04.13 6:39pm
Lady swaps make-up bag for real bag 0
Smart Alex 21.04.13 6:31pm
Smart Alex
Disappointment for 72 virgins as they are stood down in Paradise. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 21.04.13 6:19pm
Al OPecia
Medical drama as chihuahua mistook owners "fetch" command for "felch". More 0
Al OPecia 21.04.13 6:16pm
Al OPecia
Garrulous train manager shunted into quiet zone

Train manager Jim Murdoch's epic announcements to passengers on the 08:05 service from Penzance to Glasgow have got him moved to an overnight service after complaints. 'I thought passengers...

roybland 21.04.13 5:59pm
FA to review rules on cannibalism and vampirism after latest Suarez incident 0
Squudge 21.04.13 5:54pm
Army sentries told hi-viz jacket with camouflage a contradiction in terms. 0
MADJEZ 21.04.13 5:38pm
FBI to use Thames Valley chopper's thermal imaging from now on.

After scouring a Boston suburb all day it took a phone call from a member of the public pin-pointing the exact location of the suspect. Only then were police able to show a clear image of the man...

MADJEZ 21.04.13 5:34pm
Mans touching anecdote about his verruca treatment wins future of NHS debate

Critics of waste in the NHS were well and truly silenced in a BBC Question Time debate, when an audience member revealed that he'd visited a hospital for verruca treatment - and couldn't praise...

ronseal 21.04.13 5:01pm
Biting is a show of friendship in Uruguay says Saurez 0
Hooch 21.04.13 4:45pm
Suarez announced as new judge for 'The great British bake off'

More of these soon I am sure...

Not Amused 21.04.13 4:40pm
Not Amused
Chris Huhne forces ex wife to run London Marathon on his behalf

Currently banged up former cabinet member Chris Huhne has cajoled his ex wife Vicky, into taking his place in the London marathon on his behalf, according to reports. Huhne was due to compete in...

Gary Stanton 21.04.13 4:27pm
Gary Stanton
Three 'blind' mice lose disability benefits in welfare crackdown

The three blind mice made famous in the popular nursery rhyme have been stripped of their disability benefits, the Department for Work and Pensions confirmed today. 'Following a reassessment for the...

ianslat 21.04.13 2:56pm
Bahrain Grand Prix Unhindered By Human Rights.

The 2013 Bahrain Grand Prix has been successfully completed with nary a mention of democracy, oppression, human rights, murder or torture. Reigning champion Sebastian Vettel, who last year stated...

sredni vashta 21.04.13 2:11pm
sredni vashta
Gulp this down, patients told

Controversial measures drawn up by local government with the urging of central government has applied force upon regional authorities to take up the scheme. Patients at Stiffwood Hospital, Staffs,...

Mik Bulk 21.04.13 2:04pm
NUT asks Gove : Would You Put Your Hand In The Fire If Dave Cameron Told You To?

Angry teaching unions called on Michael Gove today to "sit in the corner with your finger on your lips and really think about what you just said". The Education Secretary has angered teachers by...

deceangli 21.04.13 12:22pm
Critics not impressed with “London Marathon –the revenge”

Following the highly successful “Boston Marathon– the manhunt”, critics have slated the follow up “London Marathon –the revenge” Rotten Tomatoes have reviewed it saying “No drama, no...

hardev 21.04.13 12:07pm
Illegal immigrant cucumbers wearing hi viz jackets said to be bananas

Bad neat-o...

Not Amused 21.04.13 10:55am
Raiders of medieval music museum only interested in the lute. 0
sredni vashta 21.04.13 10:47am
sredni vashta
Real blood on the cobbles to boost Coronation Street ratings

Social realism is being taken to new heights by Coronation Street bosses following the scheduled move to Manchester’s Salford Quays. For the first time in the Street’s history doors will be open...

Dick Everyman 21.04.13 9:13am
sponge finger
London marathon’s security assured as thousands of super-heroes set to run

London marathon organiser, Dave Bedford, says he is confident this year’s event will be trouble-free after making it mandatory for all runners to be dressed as super-heroes and crime fighters....

Yikes 21.04.13 9:03am
Frumpy funnygirl Miranda immortalised by wind-breaking Cockneys 0
Nimrod 21.04.13 8:51am
Nurses 'sexier' doing paperwork than emptying bedpans

NHS hospital patients think nurses are sexier doing paperwork rather than providing direct patient care according to a Royal College of Nursing poll. The poll of thousands of patients found that...

roybland 21.04.13 8:27am
Pickles forced to wear Hi-Viz jacket on extensions climb-down 1
Squudge 21.04.13 7:51am
sponge finger
Apple take on gun companies with new Iphone ‘Murder App’

Tech giant Apple have given a new meaning to the phrase “killer app” by announcing the release of the new ‘Murder App’ for the Iphone4. Unnatural death infliction has been an area hitherto...

Corrigan 21.04.13 6:46am
Tied up kangaroo found up Arris

I'm off for a Scotch and Koala...

Tess Goes 21.04.13 2:55am
Tess Goes
Operation Rhododendron Bush - All BBC TV Personalities Arrested

The Metropolitan Police have confirmed that they have arrested every television personality who appeared on the BBC television network in the 1970s. Following the arrests of Jim Davidson, Freddie...

joefall 20.04.13 11:33pm
Can you tell who it is yet? 6
Squudge 20.04.13 11:26pm
Al OPecia
USA in shock as Boston bomber gets hospital treatment without medical insurance. 0
Maverick 20.04.13 10:17pm
"My Boy Never Threatened Anyone" Claims Kim Jong-Un's Tearful Mum.

"He was set up. He is a good boy - he would never do anythng like that."...

Titus 20.04.13 10:12pm