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Carbon dating leads to heavy petting say scientists. More Soon 0
nickb 4 years
Dyslexic director to remake stephen King classic, The Shindig. 3
guffaw 4 years
Thatcher and Tebbit in fight to the death over rights to Hess’s grave plot 10
Qoxiivi 4 years

Margaret Thatcher and Norman Tebbit are to engage in mortal combat for the right to be buried in Rudolf Hess’s recently vacated grave. The contest, due to be broadcast on Sky pay-per-view in...

Cherie Blair admits it was her fellatio skills that won over Tony Blair and 0
guffaw 4 years

forgives her dad for his harsh life lessons...

Virgin Galactic to charge space tourists extra for fiery crash 0
Dumbnews 4 years
In 2015 China will be poised to take over from America as the worlds Asshole AKA 0
guffaw 4 years
New scandal rocks Fleet Street: Daily Mail might be biased against foreigners. 0
Corrigan 4 years

In the wake of the phone hacking scandal, new accusations are being made against pseudo-tabloid The Daily Mail that their stories could be interpreted as having an anti-foreigner slant. After...

Unable to find "the one", single man settles for the "one third" 0
Dumbnews 4 years
Morrissey children’s album flops 11
Skylarking 4 years

Former Smiths frontman Morrissey says he is ‘currently contemplating the warm, welcoming embrace of early retirement’ after his album of songs for children ‘Hello Young Persons Everywhere’...

Entire Fake China discovered in Far East 7
bonjonelson 4 years

Elaborate counterfeit schemes are nothing new within the far east, but the latest scam to be uncovered has amazed many at it's sheer brazen audacity - an entirely fake version of the country China...

Competition heats up as gas-powered broadband explodes onto market 13
4 years

British Gas has announced plans to enter the competitive market for high speed broadband. The service is currently dominated by companies using electricity, but bloody-minded industry insiders claim...

Kate's dress goes on display. Miraculous healing claimed by hem-toucher. 0
dvo4fun 4 years

More later...

NB contributor finds nothing amusing about the bombings and shootings in Norway 0
JohnA 4 years

No more to say...

Rich Harvard dropout seeks tidy UK cell mate. No 'A' levels, French or Greek 0
thesnug 4 years

James Murdoch could be considering an advert in "Inside Times"...

COSH 4 GOLD defends 'robust' acquisition methods 5
f0zz 4 years

As prices reached record highs this week, scrap gold dealers have been accused of increasingly strenuous tactics in procuring the commodity from the public. "It's not enough that they saturate the...

Russia reduces drink-drive limit to “Blathered” 5
beau-jolly 4 years

More shoon...

BBC presenters accused of gaffe-fixing after "C*ntgate" probe 11
Tristan Shout 4 years

In another blow to the BBC’s credibility, police are said to be acting on information received from a News of the World journalist who alleges that the recent spate of on-air gaffes from BBC...

Hess's graves actually relocated to Scotland "a boost for tourist industry" 2
steve_l 4 years

Today Alex Salmond, Scotland's First Minister, announced that far from being burned and destroyed, Rudolf Hess's remains will be placed on display in Scotland. Alex Salmond said that Hess has had a...

Another quiet day on The MeasurEx trade floor as kilogram still worth 2.2 pound 15
ronseal 4 years

For the 10,000 day running, the value of the pound refused to budge against the kilogram, leading to a becalmed trading floor at the Institute of Weight and Measures Exchange (MeasurEX) in...

Irony 'not lost' as most recent handler of Tiger's balls accused of disloyalty. 0
f0zz 4 years
R Patts: Twilight star hospitalised after pouting injury. 5
Corrigan 4 years

News has emerged that tween idol Robert Pattinson suffered a serious pouting injury on the set of his new film ‘Cosmopolis.’ The incident was apparently hidden from the press at the time so as...

Lapland on terror alert after Al Qaeda threaten attacks against The Great Santa 0
bonjonelson 4 years
News Corporation scandal engulfs Big Issue seller 0
roybland 4 years

 ,  , The scandal engulfing Rupert Murdoch's newspaper empire has reached as far as Jeb 'Digger' Murdoch who sells the Big Issue outside Truro's M&S store.  ,  , Mr Murdoch, 25, says that...

Nuromol business model exposed by pet parrot suggesting cheaper alternative 3
antharrison 4 years

Norman, a talking parrot, from West Bromwich has exposed the sophisticated business model deployed by the makers of Nuromol, a revolutionary treatment for aches and pains and has suggested a cheaper...

Pilot whales grounded in shallows have licenses revoked 0
pere floza 4 years
Horse Guards Parade to be refilled after neighbour's cat shits in sand 3
button 4 years
Woman who claimed her lover was like a tiger in the bedroom has head torn 0
guffaw 4 years
Tarantino remake 'Pulp Faction' to feature NotW malcontents. 0
f0zz 4 years
God admits weather is his revenge on the English for Henry VIII 29
FraserWords 4 years

God today admitted he’s been using the weather to take the piss out of the English to pay them back for King Henry the Eighth., Between barely suppressed fits of giggles, the Almighty revealed...

Hacking headlines 1
Son of Barnabas 4 years