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Large stockpiles of salt may be cause of unseasonably high temperatures 0
roybland 04.01.12 7:48pm
roybland
MAN SLAMMED FOR NAMING SHOE SHOP - "BAD MOOD"

A SHOPKEEPER from Edinburgh has been reported to trading standards and the Police after he named his female shoe shop "Bad Mood." Terry Killens, 54, from Leith opened the shop in October 2011 but had...

0
delightfullyodd 04.01.12 7:40pm
delightfullyodd
'Emotional' Colin Firth finally reunited with estranged brother Solway

[More soon]...

4
dicky37 04.01.12 7:03pm
The All New Jeni B
Doreen Lawrence claims "Judge's hands were tied"; Max Mosley denies involvement. 0
reforse 04.01.12 5:58pm
reforse
2012 Olympics. Synchronised swimming tickets oversold

Thousands of ticket-holders have been offered tickets to pole-dancing clubs instead. "If anyone is really aggrieved, a limited number of tickets to lap-dancing clubs are available", a spokeswoman...

1
Tammy Flugh 04.01.12 5:53pm
medici2471
Lawrence killer's appeal will rest on toast in his underpants

One of the men yesterday given life sentences for the racist murder of Stephen Lawrence is to appeal on the grounds that fragments of toast found in his underpants prove he was at home on the night...

0
roybland 04.01.12 5:21pm
roybland
Embarrassment as New Year Honours recipients revealed to be Groupon customers

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace has promised an immediate investigation into claims, revealed in a national newspaper, that popular discount website Groupon was offering customers the chance to...

6
Vertically Challenged Giant 04.01.12 4:54pm
JonnyJP
Man sues gypsy for ‘mis-sold lucky heather’

A man has this morning confirmed that he is taking a member of the Irish travelling community to court regarding what he believes to be a case of ‘mis-sold lucky heather’. Gareth Ramirez, a...

4
kimllfixit 04.01.12 4:23pm
kimllfixit
Man out walking dog finds 'nothing untoward' in shallow undergrowth

Police baffled...

1
dicky37 04.01.12 3:52pm
dicky37
Captain Rick Santorum to feature in new Torchwood series 0
simonjmr 04.01.12 3:37pm
simonjmr
Government may merge TV and firearms licences

A combined licence aimed at making payments easier for those who want to watch TV and own firearms may be available later this year. "It is crucial for the future of public service broadcasting...

5
nickb 04.01.12 3:17pm
dvo4fun
COBRA updates UK status to "Shooty" from "Stabby" after County Durham events 0
simonjmr 04.01.12 2:56pm
simonjmr
Branson to take "irony gamble" with Newcastle United-Virgin Money shirt deal.

Richard Branson has executed a startling u-turn after he initially poured water on hopes that Virgin may have become a major sponsor for Newcastle United following its relocation to the north. The...

0
SingingHinny 04.01.12 2:54pm
SingingHinny
Number of Confused Percy Grainger Clones to Emerge From Cern LHC Reaches 100 0
thisisall1word 04.01.12 2:23pm
thisisall1word
More Horrifying Sequel To Thatcher Film, Soon To Be Released......

.."Thatcherism, Wasted Lives And Dave's Mates - The (W)Bankers."...

0
Jesse Bigg 04.01.12 2:09pm
Jesse Bigg
Unseasonably warm weather blamed for man’s outbreak of face-apples

A man with a full crop of face apples has blamed ‘an unseasonably warm December’. 35 year-old Derek Grantham has never fruited before, and biologists believe it is yet more evidence that changes...

22
04.01.12 1:29pm
Major Clanger
Berlusconi claims ownership of Roman brothel token found in Thames. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 04.01.12 1:13pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Minstrel on South Pole solo cycling bid admits having large black-up team 0
cinquecento 04.01.12 1:07pm
cinquecento
25 Million tune in to Freaky Eaters 'addicted to a balanced diet' special

A special episode of Freaky Eaters, broadcast on January 2nd, has attracted a staggering 25.6 million viewers making it the 4th most watched TV programme in UK history. This places it above the...

6
JonnyJP 04.01.12 12:35pm
JonnyJP
Police to examine whether they are “institutionally stupid”

It has been a difficult week for the police force. First came the news that police officers were handing back guns to mentally unstable people “as part of a weapons amnesty”. Then the leaked...

0
nickb 04.01.12 11:06am
nickb
Man out walking his dog doesn't find body lying in the undergrowth

A man out walking his dog has returned home without having found a body lying in the undergrowth.,  , 'I raised the alarm as soon as I got home to the wife,' said Joe Williams (52). ' I've been...

3
roybland 04.01.12 10:43am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Lonely Heart requests 'no kissing, just hard CPR' 1
charlies_hat 04.01.12 10:29am
Andy Gray and Sergio Berlusconi to replace Alesha Dixon as strictly Judges. 0
godly1966 04.01.12 9:42am
godly1966
Graham Norton-Holmes and The Strange Incident at the British Museum

It was one of those blustery grey February afternoons where London was weary from an interminable winter. Arch-sleuth, Graham Norton-Norton-Holmes was dozing by a blazing fire after a solid lunch of...

1
Inigo Unsworth 04.01.12 9:28am
dvo4fun
Anti-tobacco lobby hails success of India's 'Smoking makes you a cunt' campaign

The link in case that seems like entirely gratuitous swearage: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-16390907...

4
DrTurmoil 04.01.12 9:26am
DrTurmoil
Loch Ness is giant spirit level, Customs and Excise admit. 0
Griffin 04.01.12 7:33am
Griffin
Wolf In Sheep's Clothing Defends Alternative Lifestyle 3
sredni vashta 04.01.12 4:18am
Username
Poteen Plays Leading Role In Frustrated Love Story

Poteen Plays Leading Role, In Frustrated Love Story It was late on the night shift in the CAF – Cosmic Air Force – bunker deep in the Hampshire countryside. Star Fleet Commander Fitzwilliam...

0
Inigo Unsworth 04.01.12 12:22am
Inigo Unsworth
John Terry appalled at being seen on fags. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 03.01.12 9:38pm
Al OPecia
"Guns may be dangerous" - new report

In a new shock report, it turns out that guns might pose a danger to the public. Lottery plans to offer guns as consolation prizes have been put on hold...

0
apepper 03.01.12 9:17pm
apepper