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Cameron to tackle rubbish crisis by tactical deployment of Wombles 0
Ludicity 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced that he will deal with ‘Rubbish Mountains’ that have piled up in regions of Britain by sending in teams of Wombles to clear up the mess. ‘The Wombles...

Eccentric loner community shuns Jeffries for being too plausible. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years

A motion at this year's AGM of the Bristol chapter of Creepy Weirdos voted today to rescind Christopher Jeffries oddball status due to his unsuccessful attempt to get himself arrested for a murder he...

Police sent to John Lewis for politeness lessons and McDonalds's for crabbiness 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Chinese men set record for standing in ice, but fail to get cold weather payment 0
Ian Searle 3 years
EU Rules in Favour of Metric Leather Soap 2
thisisall1word 3 years
Jeffrey Archer eaten alive by mutant dogs... 3
Doylem 3 years

Not strictly true, but we all need something to cheer us at this dark and dreary time of the year...

England’s lead over Australia nears biblical proportions 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Nigel Pargetter's death was second choice, admit Archers scriptwriters. 1
Tammy Flugh 3 years

Scriptwriters today revealed that Helen's baby was to die from cot death, and would have been swapped for another newborn child., "Those Eastenders bastards beat us to it", a spokesman stated, "and...

Undertakers are recession proof, as more people are dying for their vacancies 0
simonjmr 3 years
Looking for big-name signing, Blackburn buy Jan Venegoor of Hesselink... 4
Doylem 3 years
After brief visit home with son,man dissapointingly 4
Malcum eggs 3 years

finds unlevel playing fields decides to return to stomping ground...

Dogged Determination Wins Out 7
maxshreck 3 years

Just five days after winning the competition, The Apprentice 2010 winner Stella English has been disqualified. Following a series of background checks, it emerged that the mother of two has...

Captain Kirk relieved of Starship Enterprise command afterCCTV footage broadcast 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
News of NI water chief’s resignation leaks to the press 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Bristol police arrest 65 year old man in connection with attack on Prince’s car 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Police poke killer on facebook: Operation "Cunning Plan" begins 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Hopes he will tweet a confession...

EastEnders New Shock Plot Leaked: The Human Centipede 3
shitsu_tonka 3 years

Currently under fire for its lurid cot death and baby swapping story, soap opera EastEnders is today at the centre of a fresh controversy following the leak of a plotline that will shock even the...

Royal Navy Sacks Captain Horatio Pugwash 1
arflaethel 3 years

Controversy raged throughout the Admiralty amidst complaints from anonymous crew members of HMS Multicultural Piglet (cabin boy Tom, pirates Willy and Barnabas, and Master Mate) that Captain Pugwash...

'Brief History of Time' voted most bought, and least read, book of 20th century. 9
Doylem 3 years
Commuter outrage as terrorist attempts to blow himself up on Quiet Carriage 8
Ludicity 3 years

A suicide bomber has been condemned by rail passengers for attempting to blow himself up in a carriage clearly designated as a ‘Quiet Zone’. The incident, which took place on the 17:42 from...

Dollar devaluation hurts dollar stores nationwide 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Louisiana skies rain dead birds. 0
Trickster 3 years

Cats and Dogs due tomorrow...

Cameron and Clegg not happy about being called a pair of 'C's. 3
Trickster 3 years
Writers’ Room 2.5% wider in 'loose interpretation' of new VAT rate. 0
malgor 3 years
New Facebook profile allows more accidental clicks of ads 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Reardon snookered as strangling gloves inside pizza box are found in his gaff. 6
Malcum eggs 3 years
‘Crazed loner community’ not as homogeneous as first thought... 2
Doylem 3 years
Police release new photos of Royal attackers 3
antharrison 3 years

The Metropolitan Police has revealed a new set of grainy images of people it wishes to interview in relation to the pre-Christmas attack on the car transporting Prince Charles and The Duchess of...

BT to launch “toilet wall” telephone directory 0
SparkyJim 3 years

Facing increasing competition from Google and social media platforms, the division tasked with distributing the ever more obsolete telephone directory for BT, has today hit back by launching a much...

Yorkshire earthquake "was caused by Prescott's pie prediliction" 0
Matt T 3 years

The earthquake which hit northern England at 9pm last night has been blamed on John Prescott who fell off a ladder whilst reaching for some pies, sending shockwaves through Skipton. The former MP...