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Edinburgh Zoo staff say Yang Guang Thank you mam on Panda's behalf

More artificial news later...

victimms 22.04.13 7:34am
Footballer Suffers Food Poisoning During Match

Biting satire or another bad taste joke?...

Titus 22.04.13 7:31am
Maths teacher confuses students by not differentiating between calculus methods 2
DorsetBoy 22.04.13 7:22am
ChildLine kidnap crisis deepens as parents refuse to pay the Rantzen

More highly contrived one-liners soon...

Smart Alex 22.04.13 7:01am
Smart Alex
Suarez to be provided with Pizza delivery phone number 0
Sinnick 22.04.13 6:47am
Boston Bomb Suspect Unable to Speak to Police "Because Of Book Deal" 0
Titus 21.04.13 11:01pm
Jonathon Ross Joins Thatcher In Witch List 0
Titus 21.04.13 11:00pm
Sigh of relief as London Marathon passes off without policy injury claim 2
sydalg 21.04.13 10:35pm
Newsbiscuit contributers agree to call a fag a fag after peace conference.

The United Nations has welcomed a new initiative on the popular news website to refer to cigarettes as fags from now on. Recent unrest over terms such as 'tab','straight' and 'ciggy' had caused...

MADJEZ 21.04.13 9:53pm
Operation Rhododendron Bush (continued)

The sex scandal engulfing the BBC reached fever pitch yesterday as BBC bosses were forced to deny that Fred Flintstone had made a series of indecent demands of his best friend’s wife. The news...

joefall 21.04.13 9:21pm
Son arise early in the morning - due in court at 8 am 0
Terry 21.04.13 9:18pm
Jonathon Ross denies that IOW is a haven for extreme racists 0
Terry 21.04.13 9:17pm
Harris victim "hopping mad" at being made into a song 1
sydalg 21.04.13 9:16pm
Suaraz apologises for incident which “left a nasty taste in the mouth”... 1
Tripod 21.04.13 9:03pm
BBC denies 'dumbing down' as it launches new series of Pro-Celebrity Muff Diving 0
Terry 21.04.13 9:00pm
Man with 7 shiny pebbles included in Isle of Wight rich list. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 21.04.13 8:57pm
Movie about dropped camera, Olympus Has Fallen, proves to be a dud 0
custard cream 21.04.13 8:53pm
custard cream
Emergency services worker finds flourescent cream cures embarrassing Hi Viz itch 2
Dick Everyman 21.04.13 8:45pm
Dick Everyman
Latest offer from Tesco.

Buy a very large supermarket store in the UK and get a convenience store in America free. And clubcard points...

deskpilot3 21.04.13 8:44pm
Britain granted £1bn loan from China for Chinese earthquake relief fund. 2
Lucy4 21.04.13 8:40pm
Man fails to connect with step son despite McDonald's trip

‘He just sat eating his Happy Meal, he barely even made eye contact,’ claimed local man Tommy Frank. ‘I’ve been trying so hard to be a father to him but he kept rejecting me, so when I saw...

Hooch 21.04.13 8:37pm
Traces of horse DNA found in Branislav Ivanovic's arm. More soon 0
21.04.13 8:34pm
Welsh Independence derailed by firewater, beads and measles-infested blanket 0
Ironduke 21.04.13 7:23pm
Operation Yewtree arrests man for "improper use of stylus" 0
sydalg 21.04.13 7:02pm
Reddy Brek revealed as FBI new weapon against crime

Under the Serious Crimes Memorandum of Understanding the UK government is shipping thirty tons of Reddy Brek to Boston. The porrige-based technology has led to prompt arrests for the past four...

Squudge 21.04.13 6:45pm
Marathon rhinos still being killed for their tusks, This running season, at least 20 rare marathon rhinos will be killed by poachers hoping...

nickb 21.04.13 6:39pm
Lady swaps make-up bag for real bag 0
Smart Alex 21.04.13 6:31pm
Smart Alex
Disappointment for 72 virgins as they are stood down in Paradise. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 21.04.13 6:19pm
Al OPecia
Medical drama as chihuahua mistook owners "fetch" command for "felch". More 0
Al OPecia 21.04.13 6:16pm
Al OPecia
Garrulous train manager shunted into quiet zone

Train manager Jim Murdoch's epic announcements to passengers on the 08:05 service from Penzance to Glasgow have got him moved to an overnight service after complaints. 'I thought passengers...

roybland 21.04.13 5:59pm