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Thank You, Thank You, Daily Mail....

For your wonderful upstaging of Cameron's speech last week. Hands up who can remember it. Hunt, maybe?...

Jesse Bigg 07.10.13 9:38am
Embarrassed Tory MP's Ask Scientists To Devise A Permanent Fog Up North....

"Job famine? Where?" "Plenty down south. Got the rent money, son?"...

Jesse Bigg 07.10.13 9:36am
Jesse Bigg
Following the opening ceremony, Putin announces winners of 2014 Winter Olympics 0
John Wiltshire 07.10.13 8:46am
John Wiltshire
Discovered: Rare colour pictures of Paul Dacre at his Swiss mountain retreat

They show a man relaxed and at ease, despite the terrible divisions he would attempt to inflict across Europe just a few days afterwards. These rare photographs of Paul Dacre, some of them showing...

nickb 07.10.13 6:58am
US praise Syria for lesson in how to murder population and get away with it. 0
MADJEZ 07.10.13 6:35am
Senior bankers now remunerated by "bank card fraud"....

Not only tax free to the recipient, but also tax deductible for the bank. Result!...

deskpilot3 06.10.13 10:04pm
Corrections: The story "God punishes schools failing in RE" should, of course,..

have read "Gove punishes schools failing in RE". An understandable mistake...

deskpilot3 06.10.13 10:02pm
Jonathan Ross chucks out Bonsai collection describing it as "a little twee" 0
Smart Alex 06.10.13 9:02pm
Smart Alex
Grammarians appalled for third year running at "Strictly Come Dancing". 0
Maverick 06.10.13 7:39pm
Four-eyed fuckwit Michael Gove defends Mail’s ‘right to offend’ - 2 43
cinnahmon 06.10.13 7:04pm
The All New Jeni B
Jack Wilshere lights up the Hawthorns with Lucky Strike... 2
Tripod 06.10.13 6:45pm
Glasto tickets sell out as Justin Beiber confirms he won't be playing 0
custard cream 06.10.13 5:37pm
custard cream
MP claims 3p for 100m car trip

Hang on, it's true

Ref Minor 06.10.13 5:29pm
Ref Minor
Kids have no knowledge of Swedish first names. They don't know they're Bjorn. 1
Kramaring 06.10.13 4:53pm
Januzaj double; Old Trafford superstore fresh out of Js

More Js soon...

Artisan 06.10.13 4:42pm
Teenage suicide 'totally worth it', says Isle of Wight

Amid calls for a 'suicide audit' on the IoW, one set of parents have bucked the trend of trying dissuade their son from 'taking one for the Reaper'. Mr & Mrs Doemungle of Appuldurcombe insist...

Wrenfoe 06.10.13 1:38pm
US fate sealed after Duchy of Grand Fenwick notices it is closed?

Having previously won a decisive victory over the United States during a nuclear air raid drill in 1955 the Duchy of Grand Fenwick is reported to have one again siezed control of key functions of the...

clarksn 06.10.13 12:48pm
Qatar to hold World Sauna championship

Qatar has been selected to hold the prestigious World Sauna championships in 2020, after the governing body SIFA ruled it was acceptable that this should be a male only event. The tiny Arab state...

nickb 06.10.13 12:05pm
Pro Evo Soccer 2022: Qatar edition - 'To feature heatstroke'

Gamers were delighted by the news that the Konami video franchise will offer additional game modes, more sweating than 'Michael Gove in an algebra test' and a collection of 'colourful melanomas'....

Wrenfoe 06.10.13 10:49am
FIFA to change sports and launch Falconry World Cup in Qatar 2022

As the executive committee of FIFA convened in Zurich for two days of talks, President Sepp Blatter announced a 'stunning breakthrough' in attempts to host the event in Qatar in 2022. "It came to me...

custard cream 06.10.13 9:00am
Midfield Diamond
Half of schools failing in RE; "God to blame"

Education watchdog OFSTED has criticised God over the failure of religious education in half of UK schools. "It's partly being squeezed by other subjects, but mainly I'm afraid it's God's fault; he...

apepper 06.10.13 8:42am
Panic as America forgets to 'save policy documents' before shutting down 1
Jesus H 06.10.13 7:34am
GTA 5 enthusiast went "over the top" in Washington. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 06.10.13 7:27am
“We can’t move the World Cup”, Fifa admit. "We’ve already spent the bribes”... 3
Tripod 06.10.13 7:23am
Weatherman Becomes Postman in Order to Deliver Daughter 0
davetwojackets 05.10.13 7:34pm
Owner of relegated Mythical Animals Utd regrets having a griffon in charge 0
AReader 05.10.13 5:09pm
Weather news: Strong indoor breezes reclassified as Föhn-in. 0
FOAD 05.10.13 3:45pm
David Cameron snubs invite to Kevin Bridges 'Live at the Apollo'

"My heart says, 'Bad show', and my head says, 'Ya, jolly bad show'"...

Ian Searle 05.10.13 10:50am
Ian Searle
Cameron retracts commitment to NHS

"I thought it meant New High Speed, lol x"...

tedweasel 05.10.13 10:40am
Rosemary’s Baby is “lovechild of Nancy Sinatra and Marty Feldman”

Monica Lewinsky’s famed White House Oval Office dress has been reclaimed from its Washington Dry Cleaner window, to help further investigate whether Justin Bieber is in fact the love-grandchild...

nickb 05.10.13 10:01am