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Al-Qaeda to sue Ahmadinejad for stealing their thunder 0
Dumbnews 4 years
EU condemn piracy involving disabled Frenchwoman 0
aksakal 4 years

A spokesman from the EU was quick to condemn the piracy involving a disabled Frenchwoman. "Whatever were they thinking off? Do they have access ramps for disabled people. Are there disabled toilets...

Gregorian Calendar's days are numbered says Business Csar 0
tedweasel 4 years

Vince Cable today unveiled plans to decimalise the calendar in a bold bid to stimulate economic growth., Addressing the CBI, the Business Secretary outlined key points of the innovative project...

Nunnery Bans Cigarette Vending Machines: Nuns Forced to Kick Habit 0
kga6 4 years

From today, agitated nuns will no longer be allowed to enlighten up to ease their frustration as new laws ban cigarette vending machines. Nuns rely on the machines due to the extensive nun-curfew...

Humour scientists get a lift when discovering elevator joke works on many levels 1
Perks 4 years
Contract Fraud Trumps Café Suicide as Cops Probe Bridge Over Troubled Waiter 0
kga6 4 years
Saudi woman driver goes out on the lash to celebrate 0
Scroat 4 years
'You're only one speech away from becoming a party leader' public warned 1
ronseal 4 years

Anyone who makes a half decent speech in the next week could regret it for life, as an aggrievance of press gangs roam the country looking for potential party leaders. One young woman, Yvette, has...

Changes to Employment Law Makes "Death Illegal" 0
apepper 4 years

Changes to the employment law are being proposed which makes dying a legally grey area. As well as extended the length of employment before claims for unfair dismissal can be pursued, another change...

Eric Pickles to be disposed of in landfill. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Apple to launch game-changing “new concept” 1
4 years

In a shock move that has stunned technology markets, Apple has turned its back on the tablet market to launch an entirely new device – the Fedex 81. It will be a collaboration between Apple and...

Enquiry launched to find scapegoat for blam culture 5
Mr_Johno 4 years
Sandwich accepted under European "Protected designation of origin" laws 1
Newsquelch 4 years

Ian Brownstain, who owns the local cafe ‘Fishy Finger’ in the town of Sandwich in Kent, has successfully had the food article formally known as ‘a Sandwich’ protected under the European...

Middle aged male MP encouraged by wife to buy pussy magnet 1
charlies_hat 4 years
'Micro' 9/11 planner foiled by CIA 4
Screenie 4 years

A 26-year-old US citizen who was plotting to fly bomb laden remote controlled planes into the White House has been taken into custody to give the US law enforcement agency an opportunity to point at...

New 80mph speed limit; Clarkson excluded, others to follow 5
apepper 4 years

Jeremy Clarkson has been specifically excluded from the new 80mph speed limit. In a surprise sub-clause in the new act it is stated: "In accordance with article 5, any qualifying vehicle can travel...

BBC Renames 'BBC News' In Rebrand. 2
AS-TVLR 4 years It is understood that the BBC's flagship channel is to be renamed 'BBC Propaganda' in a statement made by the BBC's Directorate Kommisar Mark...

Boom time for England when Welsh bag levy comes into effect. 7
Boutros 4 years

English border towns are gearing up for a cross-border bonanza from Welsh shoppers following the announcement of a 5p bag levy. "5p a bag, that's a scandal," commented one disgruntled shopper from...

Beauty and the Beast Set for Remake 0
kga6 4 years
Infant, 2 Days, Wishes to Remain Unnamed 0
kga6 4 years
Small grey kitten theft 2
Screenie 4 years
Former MP Douglas Hogg criticises Coroner's expenses claim for cleaning Moat 1
dvo4fun 4 years

More later. I'll get my white coat...

BBC stand-down Robert Peston after US Drone's 'succesful kill' deployment. 0
dvo4fun 4 years

More soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon...

Michael Jackson Doctor Trial in Sponsorship Breakdown 0
thisisall1word 4 years

Pepsi Cola have withdrwan their sponsorship from the trial of Dr Conrad Murray after ratings for the televised trial have suffered from viewers switching to the Amanda Knox appeal., FOX network, who...

Man mistakes chasing his children up the stairs going ‘Raarrr!!!’ for parenting - 2 42
Qoxiivi 4 years

A young father from Solihull has encountered a barrage of criticism after his long-suffering wife revealed that ‘chasing the children up the stairs on all fours going ‘Raarrr!!!’ every...

Trader on way to Niagara expects to see big falls 0
beau-jolly 4 years
Germany distraught to find it now owns Greece 2
Screenie 4 years
Pickles talks rubbish 6
spoole2112 4 years

Big boned communities secretaty Eric Pickles announced today that he had miraculously 'found' £250 million to restore weekly bin collections. "I must have been sat on it all this timeI stood up in...

Nations stockpile insults as conventional warfare becomes 'unaffordable' 9
nickb 4 years

It is a doomsday scenario feared by military top brass the world over: The economic downturn bites with ever greater savagery, weapons of mass destruction become too expensive, and the labour costs...

Navy downsizing leads to increase in Petty Officers 0
dvo4fun 4 years

Or something like that bleeaauuugg...