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Sex 'n' drugs 'n' rock'n'roll has no place in the X factor says Cowell 0
simonjmr 09.11.11 9:24am
simonjmr
Berlusconi to dedicate life to the rehabilitation of fallen women. 1
cueball 09.11.11 9:32am
Duncan Biscuit
There's no historical evidence of Sartre's existence claims Sentamu 0
tedweasel 09.11.11 8:57am
tedweasel
Controversial scenes as Bad Boy Beethoven is booted off X-Factor

There were astonishing scenes last night as Ludwig Van Beethoven, arguably the most talented X-Factor contestant since Darius Danesh, was voted off the show after losing out in a controversial sing...

3
Stan 09.11.11 11:37am
Stan
Metropolitan Police posts plastic bullets to protestors 0
nickb 09.11.11 8:20am
nickb
X Factor contestant confesses "I wasn't on a journey, just in a singing contest" 0
dvo4fun 09.11.11 8:16am
dvo4fun
Santa Claus to step down: markets respond positively

Stock markets have responded positively to news that Toyland's Prime Minister Santo Nicalosi, better known as Santa Claus, or Sugar Daddy Christmas to his closest female admirers, is to step down...

2
Des Custard 09.11.11 9:21am
rickwestwell
Burlesconi resignation leaves satirists in turmoil

The world of satire has been thrown into chaos by the resignation of Silvio Burlesconi. "First Sarah Palin and now this, if it wasn't for Boris Johnson, I don't think I could carry on.", said one...

1
apepper 09.11.11 8:47am
Ostsee
Poppy Appeal bosses plan "most ambitious guilt trip ever"

Poppy appeal bosses were today locked in behind-closed-door meetings, rumoured to be planning their most contrived, yet undeniably righteous, guilt-trip publicity stunt ever, say sources, as the...

11
Mr Target 10.11.11 10:44am
dvo4fun
Barking dog employs writers to produce "new material"

woof woof woof woof woof woof howwwwl!...

0
Nick McCarr 09.11.11 12:51am
Nick McCarr
Middle aged gangsta rappers update their beverages of choice

As gangsta rappers enter their middle age, a growing trend is being seen to mix tonic with their gin, rather than juice. Rappers are changing their drinking habits in line with their age....

11
fernandomando 09.11.11 9:11pm
witless
Daniel Radcliffe demands equal surveillance with grown-ups

‘I’m 47,’ complained the Harry Potter star, ‘yet those News of the World scumbags followed my parents around looking for scandal, as if I was a little kid with no secrets worth revealing....

8
Clarky 09.11.11 10:35pm
dvo4fun
Berlusconi - "Can I have a leaving party?" 0
bonjonelson 08.11.11 10:38pm
bonjonelson
Prison officers 'disappointed' by discovery of drugs and prostitutes

As scrawled signs reading 'pussy loans at reesonibble rates' and 'dons discount dope den' were being removed today, prison officers were denying that Ford Open Prison's new regime is way too lax...

0
vertical 08.11.11 10:11pm
vertical
U.K Government To Privatise The Country's Oxygen

The government today is expected to push through legislation which would would hand over control and day to day running of the country’s oxygen to the highest bidding private company. “This much...

2
mattupchuck 09.11.11 9:50am
mattupchuck
Blake gets the needle as Amy Winehouse's personal effects go up for sale. 0
dominic_mcg 08.11.11 8:17pm
dominic_mcg
Poor transfer market activity blamed for European financial crisis

Ex-footballer and pundit, Mark 'Lawro' Lawrenson, has today presented his analysis of the European financial collapse in the SunSport analysis column. Blaming a lack of constructive activity in the...

2
kga6 08.11.11 8:20pm
kga6
Hajj up date - as Muslims throw stones at Satan, asteroid heads towards earth 0
medici2471 08.11.11 7:30pm
medici2471
EU meltdown, UKIP's Farage determined to keep feet on the ground 0
medici2471 08.11.11 7:24pm
medici2471
Papandreou blames low self-esteem for vote of no confidence 0
kga6 08.11.11 6:53pm
kga6
‘Carbon Dating Agency’ coming to Britain.

A new Dating agency with a unique twist is preparing to propel itself into the UK market., Already a success in former Soviet states and France ‘Carbon Dating Agency’ takes a DNA sample from all...

0
DavidBlame 08.11.11 6:48pm
DavidBlame
Jacko doc's treatments 'beyond the pale' says Judge. 0
MADJEZ 08.11.11 6:35pm
MADJEZ
Nick Griffin blackballed over White's membership 0
reforse 08.11.11 6:23pm
reforse
Sir Bruce confirmed as the face of 'Dignitas UK' franchise launch.

come on. I'm new to this, should I bother ?...

8
Bryan with a Y 09.11.11 11:12am
Danny
No evidence of civilised life amongst aliens claims White House

The US government has formally denied that it has any acknowledgement of civilisation beyond its borders. The announcement came in response to the We The People website, which initially promised to...

2
Midfield Diamond 09.11.11 12:19pm
Midfield Diamond
Newcastle 'Poppy Appeal' hit as Mike Ashley statue fund continues to grow.

The Royal British Legion expressed dismay tonight, as this years 'Poppy Appeal' collection in Newcastle was well below expected figures. Capt Newbridge put the shortfall down to the 'Ashley' effect....

0
Bryan with a Y 08.11.11 5:27pm
Bryan with a Y
Eurozone typo: Trillion Euro cheque payed into an Athenian geek's bank account 0
dvo4fun 08.11.11 5:26pm
dvo4fun
Martin McGuiness latest to promote Team GB football shirt.

more to follow...

0
Bryan with a Y 08.11.11 5:24pm
Bryan with a Y
3 French Hens,2 Turtle Doves and Partridge in Pear Tree found in Mexican Prison

Search likely to continue for at least 8 more days, possibly until Christmas say Police...

0
Mathna 08.11.11 5:23pm
Mathna
Government cuts "We just won't creosote it this year" says Minister of Defence 5
dvo4fun 08.11.11 11:51pm
FlashArry