Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
Nursery shutdown continues amid childish feud

It is now 4 days since the feud between nursery class 2A and 2B brought the United State Nursery to a complete shutdown. The decision on how to allocate Lego blocks remained at a stalemate after the...

tomholder 04.10.13 2:55pm
Train Near-miss Cyclist comes forward - But back-pedals very quickly 0
Flugelbinder 04.10.13 2:55pm
Local man bemoans ubiquity of online porn...

Carl Greening ends the day like so many other days: wiping his browsing history with a weary sigh, before closing up his laptop. Like many other porn-obsessed men he’s nostalgic for more innocent...

Tripod 04.10.13 2:38pm
FIFA task force to report on Qatar world cup options by 2023 0
John Wiltshire 04.10.13 1:49pm
John Wiltshire
Indian restaurant closed down for selling fake flatbread 3
charlies_hat 04.10.13 1:26pm
Nice not to see you: to not see you - NICE!!

And a great relief...

John Wiltshire 04.10.13 1:20pm
John Wiltshire
Body tackling "generational unemployment" interviews family in Windsor

The government agency charged with dealing with chronic welfare dependency in families has begun studying a spectacular case in the South of England. The unidentified household is reported to have...

sydalg 04.10.13 1:05pm
God tells mathematicians to go forth and multiply 0
sydalg 04.10.13 12:49pm
Westminster traffic wardens applaud Washington's handling of unruly motorists

The Chief Supervisor of Westminster Council’s traffic wardens, Mr. U. Cantparkthere, was fulsome in his praise of how the American Capital’s Traffic Enforcement department deal with defiant...

cinnahmon 04.10.13 12:03pm
'Three-quarters of my penis is still technically a virgin' brags Johnson

In strange news, Boris Johnson has come out with a series of statements claiming he is, shall we say, [i]well endowed[/i]. Toward the end of a recent press conference, Johnson is said to have...

TobiasBV 04.10.13 10:51am
Politician who wants Ministry of Funny Handshakes denies he is a Freemason 0
sydalg 04.10.13 10:30am
Children taught new thing show better results than when they weren't taught it

The Department of Education today released figures for the tests for 5 and 6 year olds showing an improvement over last year and the year before., Ministers praised the improvement in toddlers...

Not Amused 04.10.13 10:27am
Not Amused
Mark Thatcher Denies That His Mother Hated Leon Brittan

He stated that the allegation had arisen from a mis-reading of a diary entry in which she wrote that she wasn't very keen on Brighton...

paulo 04.10.13 10:27am
Porn site for ewes promises "6 gigabytes of ram" 0
sydalg 04.10.13 10:25am
Daily Mail to Apologise For Being Daily Mail

"We should simply apologise for our existence", said Paul Dacre, the Daily Mail's Editor. "I woke up this morning with a deep sense of shame, and it wasn't for the usual reason. It just dawned on me...

deceangli 04.10.13 10:12am
Oops - not as original as I had hoped 0
Smart Alex 04.10.13 9:43am
Smart Alex
Mary Berry 'excited' to begin filming crystal meth cookery show, 'Baking Bad'

Food writer and baking expert Mary Berry is gearing up to swap her apron for a gas mask and eggs for concentrated methylamine this winter, as the BBC commission its December primetime cookery...

Jesus H 04.10.13 8:26am
Mathematician dies choking on pi

sum more maths fun...

Sfox 04.10.13 7:22am
BBC repeats sabotage Alan Partridge movie. Remind audience how shit it was. 21
MADJEZ 04.10.13 3:13am
Rabbit with an irrational fear of carrots dies of hunger. 0
Vlad 04.10.13 12:33am
Superhero spies of "S.H.I.E.L.D" sent home in US goverment shutdown

Agents of the American Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate were sent home on unpaid leave today due to the US Government shutdown caused by the failure of the two houses of...

Bigglesworth 04.10.13 12:31am
The Moon is still there. More soon. 1
Vlad 04.10.13 12:27am
Labour Party Shocked By Daily Mail Disclosures

"The Daily Mail is a serious, responsible and impartial news journal" said a senior Labour party member "And is therefore read and trusted as a reliable and authoritative source by all the party's...

Titus 04.10.13 12:21am
Eric Pickles still stuck in Manchester lift shaft

Following the end of the Conservative conference, Greater Manchester Police has confirmed that Eric Pickles remains trapped in the cargo lift of the Manchester Convention Centre. 'Attempts to...

antharrison 03.10.13 11:30pm
Graham Norton show replaces studio audiences with canned Woo Woo machines

A new invention could save television production companies hundreds of thousands of pounds by replacing live studio audiences with a machine that goes Woo! Woo! on cue. The new automated Whoop...

ronseal 03.10.13 11:03pm
Gravity, not Congress, to blame for NASA closure NASA administrator, Charles Bolden, has confirmed that the ongoing Federal shutdown was not the cause of the space agency's...

GordonChen 03.10.13 10:23pm
George Osborne ploughs ahead with plans to link Sterling to Bitcoin. More soon. 0
deskpilot3 03.10.13 9:06pm
News should take a day off says confused man.

It’s Thursday evening when I arrive at the flat belonging to Kyle Martin. The living room is in disorder, used take away trays are stacked beside his chair while a bedpan overflows near the door....

Hooch 03.10.13 8:31pm
Fear rife as new neighbors refuse to show their faces

Fear has gripped the residents of a street in Leek, as the new owners of number 23 have as yet refused to show their faces. Many believe the new residents are snobs who refuse to acknowledge their...

TobiasBV 03.10.13 8:11pm
Pro-cancer lobby strikes back

Pro-cancer lobbyists have finally hit back at anti-cancer campaigners. At their rally last night the lobbyists argued that the anti-cancer campaign was one-sided and that people needed to see both...

Sfox 03.10.13 7:14pm