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Audi Recall 10,000 Cars Where Indicator Stalk Has Seized Up Though Lack Of Use 12
Titus 17.08.13 8:57pm
French President tells Ed Milliband that in politics 'one egg is un oeuf' 6
AReader 17.08.13 8:57pm
Russian pole vaulter "tried it once, but didn't like it"

The Russian pole vaulter at the centre of the "gaygate" furore has defended her statements by drawing parallels between the Russian stance on homosexuality and many Western countries' approach to...

SugarTits69 17.08.13 7:18pm
Kevin the Swan
ED suffering footballer comes last at annual KeepyUppy championship

While his team physio is baffled at how he even managed to enter...

Robopop 17.08.13 7:11pm
Police Mystified By Lack Of Abuse Allegatons Against Former-D-J-Turned-Priest 0
Titus 17.08.13 6:02pm
Alien fury as Area 51 declassified

Shape shifting aliens from the Dawn Planet of the outer Dark Reaches have protested to the US government about declassifying Area 51. "We look forward to a quiet fortnight in Nevada each year; it's...

apepper 17.08.13 5:49pm
Lindy Moone
Balcombe Seeks Advice From Egyptian Police On Clearing Anti-Fracking Camp 0
Titus 17.08.13 5:44pm
Met Discovers Old Copy Of Daily Express

Titus 17.08.13 5:41pm
Man With Naff Animal Collection Warned Against Including Small Chinese Dog 0
Titus 17.08.13 3:51pm
Female translator performs cunning linguistic act on behalf of Isinbayeva

More to follow...

Robopop 17.08.13 3:49pm
Lindy Moone
Teenage driver with bad acne receives £6500 on-the-spot fine. 2
FOAD 17.08.13 3:39pm
Ex Radio 1 DJ admits to secret life as celibate monk

Ex Radio 1 DJ Gary Whatson has finally come clean about the double life he led whilst anchoring the nations 3rd favourite breakfast show. Although he gave the impression that he was frothy,...

Andrew Mack 17.08.13 3:27pm
Drug Baron Claims "I Was Threatened"

International drug baron Manuel DeMultimillonario, who owns several mansions in England, Scotland and Portugal, luxury apartmets in Paris, Monaco, New York and London, country estates in Scotland,...

Titus 17.08.13 3:08pm
Lens Cap
Russian athlete fails test for irony 0
simonjmr 17.08.13 12:55pm
Gays are poofs says Putin, and don’t exist in Russia

‘Female’ Russian shot put champion, Fanny Veryharious, famous for her hairy armpits and manly physique, not to mention the bulge in ‘her’ knickers today added his/her weight to the Soviet...

farmer giles 17.08.13 12:48pm
farmer giles
Beetroot farmers going through purple patch. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 17.08.13 10:55am
Lindy Moone
Study finding people who have more sex earn more "conducted in Soho" 1
sydalg 17.08.13 9:30am
Area 51 contains 'Hillary Clinton's legacy'

The CIA has officially acknowledged the existence of a Democratic focus group in the Nevada desert. Secret footage compiled by CNN and NBC, reveal how voters in 2016 will be wooed by Clinton's...

Wrenfoe 17.08.13 9:19am
Areas 1 - 50 totally pissed off at their lack of profile. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 17.08.13 9:17am
HMP Belmarsh to host next I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here

Following a spate of celebrity incarcerations, ITV have announced today that the location of its popular reality TV show [i]I'm a CelebrityGet Me Out of Here![/i] will be shifted from the tropics of...

Jesus H 17.08.13 8:06am
Jesus H
Parent Poverty Action Group Regrets Name Change

"As the 'Child Hardship Action Group' we had been slightly embarassed by the possibly misleading nature of out title" said a spokeswoman. "Obviously children don't have any money, and we thought it...

Titus 17.08.13 6:54am
Suicide Bomber Sues Taliban Over Post-Traumatic Stress

"I haven't been able to hold down a job or enjoy life with my family since I was conned into killing myself" claims victim...

Titus 17.08.13 6:27am
'UK's most wanted tailgater' evades police for fifth day

Police forces across the north west have confirmed today they are still looking to question evasive BMW driver Tommy Silvers regarding a string of 'serious tailgating offences' committed between...

Jesus H 16.08.13 11:04pm
Test of your own ID photograph 'helps to spot late dementia'

Oh, for crying out loud, how much more do we have to spend on academic studies that your grandma habitually published to anyone who'd listen without so much as asking, much less seeking funds for...

Arthur 16.08.13 10:29pm
Italy to build settlements ‘up William Hague’s nose’ 2
Titus 16.08.13 10:07pm
New species of carnivore may solve erectile dysfunction

Black Rhinos everywhere were left celebrating a medical break through, which 'victims of the limp noodle' have hailed as more significant than the cure for smallpox. Within hours of finding the...

Wrenfoe 16.08.13 8:55pm
Al OPecia
levitating super conductor outstanding in its field

Ian Collier 16.08.13 7:42pm
Ian Collier
Editor can't decide if he should publish Schrödinger's cat's obituary 2
sydalg 16.08.13 6:58pm
"People who don't like football" to blame for mental health crisis

Research has suggested that the shortage of provision for mentally ill patients may be the result of large numbers of people being sectioned for “not liking football”. “These people need...

Michael_Goves_Servant 16.08.13 6:43pm
Russian gymnast admits "pole-vaulting" is a euphamism

More to follow...

apepper 16.08.13 5:00pm