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Falkirk MP Eric Joyce suspended by his 'party equipment', not by his thumbs

More (Whips' punishment) soon OR MP Eric Joyce suspended by his 'party equipment', not by his party...

0
dvo4fun 24.02.12 8:37am
dvo4fun
Adele Cordoned off. 15
MADJEZ 24.02.12 8:20am
Scroat
Read tomorrow's NewsBiscuit jokes today in the new edition of Private Eye

Only £1.50...

3
Mandy Lifeboat 24.02.12 12:52am
Quaz
Rain God tells England to ‘dance for it proper.’

‘You want rain? You gotta show me your dancin’ feet!’ was the message earlier today from Rain God Steve. Directed primarily at the south-east corner of the UK, Steve’s booming voice caused...

2
malgor 24.02.12 12:52am
malgor
Astronomers warn that a sequel to Costners 'Waterworld' may exist

Astronomers have claimed the existence of a sequel to the 1995 Kevin Costner turkey "Water-world" could exist with its trademarked thick, dense and incomprehensible script. Astronomers and...

2
simonjmr 24.02.12 12:06am
Quaz
Lansley: "OK to abort if neither gender is wanted but not if ...err...hold on.."

More [joined up thinking] soon...

0
dvo4fun 23.02.12 11:57pm
dvo4fun
Other people definitely arseholes, say scientists

Scientists at the Public Research Institute of Clinical Knowledge believe they may have finally proved what many have long suspected, that other people are definitely arseholes. Lead author Dr John...

7
Teddy 23.02.12 11:52pm
Scroat
Financial crisis deepens - AA Milne downgraded to just A 1
Ian Searle 23.02.12 11:23pm
Username
CERN scientists forgot to carry the one

Evidence of faster-than light particles was quashed today when it was discovered that the lead scientist, Dr. Osborne, forgot to carry the one on the calculations.Cern released a statement today...

1
tomholder 23.02.12 11:13pm
Username
Gypsy woman puts curse on people who stereotype gypsies

A local gypsy has cursed the makers of Channel 4 program “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. The woman, who insists on not being named due to legal reasons, has stated that the program demeans and...

10
paddyparkinson 23.02.12 11:10pm
Username
Depressed frog kermits suicide. More soon.

Got to get these off my chest. I have more...

5
Haywood Manley 23.02.12 11:09pm
JETFAB
Strait of Hormuz admits to 'having doubts' 2
Ian Searle 23.02.12 11:03pm
Textbook
New chainsaw safety course could cost 'an arm and a leg'. 0
writinginbsl 23.02.12 11:02pm
writinginbsl
Recently discovered Victorian wig weaving machine is important heirloom 5
Haywood Manley 23.02.12 10:49pm
writinginbsl
Tributaries continue to pour in for River Phoenix 1
Gourd Almighty 23.02.12 10:48pm
writinginbsl
Faster-than-light Nissan Micra ‘may have been down to timing fault’

Two friends from Romford, who last year claimed to have exceeded the speed of light in a modified Nissan Micra, have admitted that the surprise result may have been caused by ‘Dave forgetting to...

11
Vertically Challenged Giant 23.02.12 10:46pm
writinginbsl
Italian Plumbing Firm Draws Record Numbers Of Complaints

A plumbing firm run by a pair of Italian brothers has seen virtually all of its customers contacting consumer protection services. Albert Brekky has a typical story. "They turned up to unblock my...

0
Textbook 23.02.12 10:45pm
Textbook
Straits of Gibraltar deny homophobia allegations.

More soon. Hat tip to Ian Searle...

3
John Ffitch-Rucker 23.02.12 10:38pm
writinginbsl
Department of Health inquiry as Cameron seeks advice on aborting Andrew Lansley 0
Mandy Lifeboat 23.02.12 10:08pm
Mandy Lifeboat
'Sorry, we thought she was a Somali pirate' say Syrians. 3
Dickens or Shakespeare 23.02.12 9:52pm
Textbook
Press Divided on Gillard/Rudd Power Struggle

Australian media is divided over who to support in the brewing struggle between prime minister Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd, the man she ousted but who is widely believed to be plotting a comeback....

1
Textbook 23.02.12 9:47pm
Perks
Long term unemployed man 'lifted' by his new crane operator job

Long term unemployed father of three, John Small, has been talking about his joy at finding the perfect job. Mr Small has been employed by a construction firm as a 'tower crane operator'. This is the...

0
Perks 23.02.12 9:42pm
Perks
Snob attacks 'snobby' attacks on snobs 0
Mandy Lifeboat 23.02.12 9:32pm
Mandy Lifeboat
America apologises to President Kharzai for burning Afghanistan 0
Mandy Lifeboat 23.02.12 9:31pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Scientists discover first non-psychiatric patient who finds Noel Fielding funny

Definitely a Nobel Prize for that...

0
JohnA 23.02.12 8:34pm
JohnA
Clapitoil Secretcorns ... Political Correctness gone mad ?

.. Edited on the advice of a wiser head than mine...

8
Gourd Almighty 23.02.12 7:59pm
JETFAB
A million ex-private sector pensioners to have houses frozen for another year 2
Duncan Biscuit 23.02.12 7:33pm
Gourd Almighty
Somalis claim they have 'no choice' but to take part in Talk Like a Pirate Day 4
Haywood Manley 23.02.12 7:14pm
Haywood Manley
Vicar loses Sunday working case 1
Duncan Biscuit 23.02.12 6:16pm
kga6
Tributes continue to pour in for Whitney Houston...

"She made Amy Winehouse look like a pussy", muses one fan, a 13 year girl from New Jersey. More soon...

0
quango 23.02.12 5:56pm
quango