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Neighbours of Tesco Chairman Encouraged To Start Covering Houses in Xmas Lights 0
thisisall1word 4 years
Rise in number of UK government roles being taken by Eastern European Labour 0
thisisall1word 4 years

A report commissioned by right wing think tank Excelsior! has found that many lower paid positions amongst the UK government are now being taken by Polish, and other Eastern European migrant...

Comedy inflation prompts calls for triple entendres 0
Ian Searle 4 years
New Gaddafi Revelation.... 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

.Originally played by Spike Milligan; now played by Spike's much younger brother...

Violinists, conductors to have extreme facial expressions curbed by new code 1
nickb 4 years

Frontline musicians are on the brink of a historic agreement to regulate the excesses of grimaces, lip biting hair tossing and excessive nostril use commonly deployed to express allegedly spurious...

Parents who keep their overcoats on indoors face losing benefit. 0
greg various 4 years
Friends on Benifits 6
Hamish Mactavish 4 years

Staring Joan Bloggs as Dylan an alcoholic proffesional dole cheat and his side kick Jamie a crackhead also played by Joanbloggs.Set on a grim sink estate in Camden,a story about love,war,sex,guns,out...

Liam Gallagher to sue Reading Festival 0
pigeonpost 4 years

Allegations of vote rigging and contractual shenanigans at the Thames-side Rock Festival Brother of Noel Gallagher and Beady Eye singer Liam was said to be feeling pretty blue after he came a poor...

BBC apologise for Torchwood sex scenes 0
Gerontius 4 years

Producers of the BBC drama Torchwood have apologised to viewers who tuned in to last Thursday’s episode after a prolonged sex scene involving cast members was inadvertently screened during the...

Campaign to Make Gangsta an Official Language 2
Awkward Facts 4 years

Following Dr David Starkey's declaration on Newsnight that the white population from Tottenham to Clapham has now "integrated into the pervasive black Gangsta culture" we learn that the Welsh...

"Chocks Away! And so are your jobs" 8
dvo4fun 4 years

In terms reminiscent of Norman Tebbit's advice to the unemployed in the 1980s, RAF pilots have effectively been told to park their planes and get on their bikes. "Of course we've had regular...

'Conservatives Under New Title: Scotland'. 0
dvo4fun 4 years

More (of them)soon...

Lady Ga Ga to become patron of Alzheimers Society 7
riesler 4 years
Pornography study aborts after unable to find a control group 1
Dumbnews 4 years
Scottish Tories to disband due to "disagreements with reality". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Police force Dale Farm residents to look up "traveller" in dictionary. More soon 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Scottish Tory Leadership Favourite Murdo Fraser To Change His Name 0
Awkward Facts 4 years

The presumptive leader of the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party has announced that he intends to change his name. "There's nothing much wrong with the Party", he says, "but my personal brand...

Report on alternatives to the contraceptive pill withdrawn at the last second 0
JohnA 4 years
Lack of ideas blamed on light bulb ban 2
beau-jolly 4 years

Well that's my excuse today...

Queen discovered on dating website 0
Masterhard 4 years

The Queen has been caught online dating after shocked fellow lonely hearts discovered that ‘Lizzy21’ (with the tagline ‘Up for a royal bender‘) was in fact Her Royal Highness. Users of the...

Irish traveller refuses to be evicted from Big Brother house. 0
rebel not taken 4 years

Irish traveller Paddy Doherty will soon to be told he has "30 minutes to pack his bags and leave the Celebrity Big Brother house." But the star of My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding claims he has nowhere to...

Usain Bolt "cannot be stopped" 1
bonjonelson 4 years

Usain Bolt has continued to court controversy at the World Athletic Championships in Daegu at the 200 meters race after seemingly being unable to stop running at the finishing line. Bolt had...

Dog shit found in Rolf Harris packing cases ‘not covered by insurance’ say Churc 0
Gerontius 4 years

Do you know what it is yet..Oh yes...

Redundant soldiers and RAF pilots to form A-Team franchises all over the UK 3
Ian Searle 4 years

Ten days ago, crack military specialists were made redundant by an inept government for crimes they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from maximum security job centres to the London...

Apollo 18 2
Susan 4 years

theres a reason weve never gone back to the moon.we left Joan Bloggs there., Cert 18 coming to a cinema near you soon...

Cannabis in Brownies not as effective as Rohypnol in cubs claims scout leader 0
charlies_hat 4 years
Middle classes horrified as report claims Victoria Wood not omnipotent 0
ronseal 4 years

Not everything Victoria Wood does is brilliant, says a shocking new report that the government is trying to ban. If the report hits the national psyche, it cold have a devastating effect on morale,...

Bolt wins 200m, Rawlplug wins Javelin 0
virtuallywill 4 years

more later...

UEFA Penalises Bulgarian FA After Crowd Direct Beluga Noises at White Players 0
mugwump 4 years
Saline contamination case, “just rubbing salt into the wound.” 0
beau-jolly 4 years