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Government to introduce Penis Extension Exhaust Pipe Tax 0
brownpaperreporter 4 years

In a bid to curb noise, pollution and unruliness, Road Tax for the Under-25s will be a thing of the past. Instead they will have to pay based on the size of their modified exhaust pipes Ken Clarke...

Establishment mourns loss of anti-establishment visionary 0
Dumbnews 4 years
F.A to give all players Bromide before each game. 0
delightfullyodd 4 years

The Football Association today announced that all players will be given bromide before each game. Failure to adhere to this could result in the player being suspended and their club being deducted...

Steve Jobs Joins Cloud Computing 1
thisisall1word 4 years
A turnip and some carrots win Nobel Literature Prize 0
simonjmr 4 years
Rooney's Father: "I bet you I get away with it." 0
delightfullyodd 4 years

More to follow...

TV Guide : Coro-nonce-ion Street with Michael Le Vell and Peter Adamson. 2
MADJEZ 4 years

More soon allegedly...

Bloated, constipated economy? You need Dr Osborne’s patent Quantitative Easing 2
Clarky 4 years

Suffering from the painfully slow transit of jobs through the system? A dose of Dr Osborne’s patent Quantitative Easing will put you right. Taking QE every day while symptoms persist, or until the...

Study finds US comedy audiences still way too easily impressed 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

A study using an experimental comedy night in Nashville Tennessee has concluded that it is still much too easy to impress live audiences in the USA by simply mentioning things they can understand....

Newsbiscuit Injuncted by Writers' Room Day Job Employers 0
medici2471 4 years
Steve Jobs could have lasted until December if he'd turned off his wifi 0
Screenie 4 years
John Hemming Awaits Ken Clarke's Cat Joke Apology 0
medici2471 4 years
Mervyn King's Launch of QE2 hopes to Refloat Economy 2
medici2471 4 years
First ever energy saving bulb purchased now fully illuminated 19
Screenie 4 years

Mr Paul Gerrans, who purchased the bulb when they were first released has been checking it every day since. 'it hasn't got any brighter for the last couple of days,' he explained whilst shielding...

Local Radio “to go national” in BBC Shake Up 0
nickb 4 years

Local broadcasters across the country celebrated today at the news that their programmes from ”Hallo Cornwall” to “Reporting Leicester” would go national under new BBC plans to reflect the...

BBC Salford goes native with mass redundancies 1
ronseal 4 years

The BBC has celebrated the successful integration with the north by making mass redundancies at its Salford Quays centre. A spokesman denied this was a deliberate policy. "Nobody saw the recession...

BBC budget slashed by two Moyles and a Wogan 3
4 years
Latest i phone release designed to mimic Steve Jobs - neither got better 0
Screenie 4 years

I think we all have to have a go at at least one Steve Jobs gag...

Steve Jobs replacement announced as Steve Jobss 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Staff at Apple crumble on news of Jobs loss 0
Gary Baldy 4 years
England players severely reprimanded for being "Sober and Polite" 0
grottymonty 4 years

More unwelcome publicity as Martin Johnson was forced to act as allegations of widespread sobriety and good behaviour appeared in the national press. When quizzed at this morning's press conference...

Cameron Fury - "The World couldn't Sync Any Lower." 0
delightfullyodd 4 years

Following the tragic news that former CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs, died from pancreatic cancer, British Prime Minister David Cameron, moved to condemn the influx of terrible jokes and sick puns...

Undertakers mortified by Apple iFreeze – uber cool or a fridge too far? 1
vertical 4 years Ultra slim, iFreeze with ColdCloud® remote cryogenic storage allowing easy access to a chilled loved one anytime, anywhere you're on the move...

God cuts Jobs 4
ronseal 4 years
Economy latest: Jobs dead, Also Apple founder passes away 0
virtuallywill 4 years

No more later...

Ronseal secure merchandising rights for new Tin Tin movie 0
Iamthestig 4 years
Steve Jobs to launch new "Prayer Pad" for God 1
Rowly 4 years

Steve's first Job, after enrolling & settling down in heaven, is to work on the launch of the new Prayer-pad. Market research has shown that so many prayers go unanswered, that kneelers sometimes...

Steve Jobs unveils Harp 2.0. Too Soon. 0
red 4 years

Tesco profit announcement pours scorn on UK 0
Screenie 4 years

There was an overwhelming sense of relief across both the developing and developed world yesterday as Tesco announced an increase in half year profits. ‘I knew the results would be in today,’...

Sod principle, I'm sending my kids to private school, says Polly Toynbee 0
ronseal 4 years