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County is now almost totally lion free, says Essex police chief

The head of Essex Police has hailed the force's superb handling of the big cat outbreak in the county, and promised that - with the odd exception - Essex is now safe for the general public with the...

ronseal 29.08.12 12:14pm
custard cream
Nick Clegg announces new lion tax. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 29.08.12 12:04pm
Kevin Pieterson to apply for vacant England captain role 0
custard cream 29.08.12 12:02pm
custard cream
Missing: Pet Clegg

[u][center]Missing. Family’s Pet Clegg[/center][/u] [center][/center] A rare pet Clegg has gone...

Perks 29.08.12 10:56am
Frying pan killer ‘inconsiderate’ claims judge

A judge at Exeter Crown Court has criticised a man for beating his friend to death with a frying pan, suggesting five minutes under the grill or even casseroled in a pot-roast would have been a far...

Gerontius 29.08.12 9:31am
"Olympic style dancing on NHS beds must stop" insist top doctors

Following the success of the Olympic opening ceremony, top NHS doctors are now asking patients, especially those with multiple fractures, to refrain from energetic dancing on their beds at all hours...

antharrison 29.08.12 8:03am
Para holds up Para Oylimpics

Officials from the British Para Olympic committee were today left red faced after the first day of athletics in the Olympic stadium had to be cancelled. The problems started after the first event...

godly1966 29.08.12 6:37am
Squirrel Licking 2012 Olympic update:

With the Olympics now over and put back in its box, except of course for the ‘special’ Olympics, literally two or three people out there have been asking the question “What happened to team GB...

The All New Jeni B 28.08.12 11:28pm
Martin Shuttlecock
USADA strips Neil Armstrong of his moon landings: "it was all a conspiracy" 0
Gary Baldy 28.08.12 11:08pm
Gary Baldy
Doctor advises women to rehydrate every 10 minutes

A leading doctor is urgently advising all 'women about town' to take water on board every ten minutes. In a shocking report, women who regularly use public transport are now told they'll rapidly...

28.08.12 10:57pm
Gruffalo sighted in Essex 2
Ian Searle 28.08.12 10:40pm
Piers Morgan to take the 'Indian Miracle Cream' challenge 0
FlashArry 28.08.12 10:39pm
Julian Assange To Release Album of Cover Versions.

In a desperate bid to raise funds for a new life in Ecuador, Julian Assange is alleged to be working on an album of cover versions, Wiki-Leaks founder Julian Assange has been making good use of his...

The All New Jeni B 28.08.12 10:34pm
American storm chasers commence Hurricane Isaac hunt 0
antharrison 28.08.12 10:24pm
Richard Branson spotted applying "Indian Miracle Cream" to West Coast Main Line. 0
Pabst Blue Ribbon 28.08.12 10:22pm
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Cameron support extension to Heathrow runway 2 that doubles back on itself...

So that's no to runway 3 AND a u-turn...

deskpilot3 28.08.12 9:35pm
Branson bid: "Choo-choose me!" deemed 'frankly annoying' 0
Squudge 28.08.12 9:32pm
Mr Bell fancies his chances after Apple wins legal battle over Samsung... 0
deskpilot3 28.08.12 9:28pm
New Orleans not looking forward to rumoured return of Katrina & The Waves

Obscure or what?...

Al McHogan 28.08.12 9:27pm
Unfair that Gove was elected in 2010, but would not be elected now.... 0
deskpilot3 28.08.12 9:26pm
Schools complain that it was much harder to buy GCSE answers this year. 0
deskpilot3 28.08.12 9:25pm
Rogue Essex Girl Sparks Terror Among Locals In Kenya

Masai Mara National Park, Kenya: Terrified Masai tribespeople were today taking emergency shelter following the sighting of what appeared to be a rogue Essex girl, lurking in the undergrowth, deep in...

Martin Shuttlecock 28.08.12 9:08pm
Martin Shuttlecock
"Build another runway, if your hard enough!" Yeo goads Cameron

Timothy Yeo goaded to David Cameron saying "build another runway if your hard enough", going on to add weight to the depth of his political arguement by adding, "show us if you are a man or a mouse...

Ian 28.08.12 8:03pm
Panto Season: Yeo, Mensch & Dorries Land Plum Roles 0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 28.08.12 7:43pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Bank Holiday Caravan Competition - Bessie wows the judges

The world of the Caravan Club was rocked yesterday with a surprise entry in the annual 'Cosmetic Caravan' competition. The prestige event, held traditionally over the August Bank holiday in Beaulieu...

Squudge 28.08.12 7:06pm
Assisted suicide story demands right to die peacefully

And not to be resuscitated by editors desperate to fill space...

Ian Searle 28.08.12 4:27pm
Ian Searle
Mystery 99% loading delay solved, say Microsoft.

Microsoft have finally gotten to the bottom of why the last 1% of any software installation takes as long as the other 99%. It was due to a 'feature' in the original Windows. In the early days, no...

Boutros 28.08.12 4:01pm
Neil Armstrong death 'an obvious hoax' say conspiracy theorists 13
Midnight Dreary 28.08.12 2:58pm
Nails UK
Spotted lion 'probably leopard' say experts 0
Midnight Dreary 28.08.12 1:32pm
Midnight Dreary
PM still opposed to third runway, but "happy with fourth one"

David Cameron has denied suggestions of a U-turn on transport policy; "I said before the election that there would be no third runway at Heathrow and I stand by that. However, a fourth runway is a...

apepper 28.08.12 1:18pm