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Union urges '15-minute government' 0
roybland 12.11.11 2:47pm
Drug dealing dwarf spared jail as only top bunks available.

Bashful prosecution lawyers were left feeling rather dopey yesterday following the sentence handed down. The grumpy judge was less than happy that one member of the jury kept sneezing throughout the...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 2:39pm
Bryan with a Y
Tesco bosses say 'bottoms up' as they toast 'Gay Pride London' sponsorship.

'Race for Life' dropped in favour of the pink pound...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 2:16pm
Bryan with a Y
Berlusconi agrees to step down for 15 minutes 0
kga6 12.11.11 1:39pm
Blair delight as he brokers peace deal between Confucius and Simple Simon.

The father of Brit-Pop could hardly contain himself today, as his role in the ongoing dispute between Confucius and Simple Simon was made public. Leaked police files from North Yorkshire Police...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 12:55pm
Bryan with a Y
Pensioners cheer as they finally return to 'the good old days'; cold and poor.

Age Concern yet to confirm victory...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 12:24pm
Bryan with a Y
X-Factor rapped over discarded johnny. 0
MADJEZ 12.11.11 11:56am
Berlusconi to resign definitely soon perhaps maybe...unless he changes his mind. 0
MADJEZ 12.11.11 11:53am
Olive Oyl fury as veterans continue to muscle in on her annual Popeye appeal

Negotiations continue...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 11:43am
Bryan with a Y
Veterans seek assurances Easter Bunny will wear a poppy next year 2
12.11.11 11:46am
Russian Mars Probe "Could Be Anywhere".

It has emerged that the Phobos-Grunt spacecraft launched by Russians may or may not have landed on Mars recently. The European Space Agency has said that it is unlikely to be able to salvage much...

mattupchuck 12.11.11 1:00pm
Chaos in Chelsea dressing room after sponsor Mobius provides new strips. 0
dominic_mcg 12.11.11 10:00am
MOD cuts latest: Soldiers only to be paid "when actually fighting". More soon.

Guns to be fitted with stop-watches...

Al OPecia 12.11.11 9:43am
Al OPecia
Commonwealth Games to retire to Gold Coast, Queensland in 2018 0
Nick McCarr 12.11.11 9:29am
Nick McCarr
Survey shows most wives prefer to stay home and whinge about not going on

holiday to an actual holiday...

Nick McCarr 12.11.11 11:58pm
Starr and Boardman at war over best 'Comedy German' outfit.

The balloon well and truly went up today, as Stan Boardman dropped the bombshell that he plans to attend the forgotten comics Christmas Party in his 'hilarious' German outfit. The bubbled-permed...

Bryan with a Y 12.11.11 9:11am
Bryan with a Y
Christmas Lights deny being turned on by Justin Bieber. 1
Zadok the second 12.11.11 10:42am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Egypt closes pyramid, what's the point ? 0
medici2471 11.11.11 8:29pm
World Athletics Championship 2017, Met jubilant 0
medici2471 11.11.11 8:15pm
mugabe to replace cocozza on x-factor

because of his better voice and looks and the huge number of followers to regain the ratings...

4ty2 11.11.11 6:57pm
Debt-hit Italian offers cut-price genuine metal knife: "Itsa real steal" 0
kga6 11.11.11 6:57pm
Man left in awe after converting 4095 into binary

more unremarkable yet awe-inspiring mathematical facts soon...

kga6 15.11.11 5:03pm
Testicle bite woman's relief, "It's been hanging over me for a long time" 5
medici2471 12.11.11 5:22pm
geordie crusada
Mike Tindall to be given cat, crate of beer "to see if he can resist temptation" 0
Al OPecia 11.11.11 6:09pm
Al OPecia
Papasmurf leads early betting for next Greek PM

With Papandreou recently resigned and Papademos taking control of a temporary government of unity. William Hill are saying that the early money for Greece's next elected Prime Minister is going on...

Immunis 12.11.11 9:05pm
Cat swinging man moved to larger council flat after submitting video

More to follow...

apepper 12.11.11 12:57pm
Burlesconi told to clear desk, shampoo carpet

Outgoing Italian PM Silvio Burlesconi has been told to completely clear his desk, shampoo the carpet and steam clean the curtains. "I don't know what he's been up to in his office", said an official,...

apepper 11.11.11 5:11pm
New abstinence campaign to show images of Dominique Strauss-Kahn's 'sex face' 0
JD 11.11.11 4:29pm
Tesco rethink ‘You shop, we drop’ slogan after record number of breakages

Supermarket giant Tesco have been forced to replace the ‘You shop, we drop’ slogan for their home delivery service after admitting that many staff had taken it too literally. The last 12 months...

Vertically Challenged Giant 11.11.11 5:19pm
James Murdoch "had to piss pants to put fire out" committee hears

A crestfallen James Murdoch asked the select committee for media and culture to be temporarily excused after events in his underpants appeared to undermine his evidence., "As soon as I started...

nickb 11.11.11 3:42pm