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Daily Mail Headline Writer Wins £50 On Lottery

The world of news was generous in its appreciation today as it emerged one of its greatest stalwarts Ted Barnes, the Daily Mail headline writer for the past 84 years, yesterday won £50 on the...

Reg Herring 30.08.12 5:14pm
Reg Herring
Windows 8 will have faster spinning cursor. 0
Boutros 30.08.12 5:14pm
Apple 'flummoxed' by Windows 8.

Apple has been left "completely flummoxed" by the announcement from Microsoft of Windows 8. "We had no idea they would bring anything out to follow Windows 7", confessed Timothy Cook, CEO of the...

Boutros 30.08.12 5:02pm
Tickets still available for one-armed boxing 0
pere floza 30.08.12 4:42pm
pere floza
Millions of black holes spotted (BBC Headline)

Nasa's Wise telescope spots millions of supermassive black holes and extremely hot galaxies that had remained obscured by dust., Jimmy Grange of Jimmy in a Jiffy, Doncaster, explained how this...

mathsman 30.08.12 2:55pm
Millions of black holes spotted in Barclays annual report and accounts 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 2:47pm
USA: Republicans lose Latino support over 'Juan out all out' immigration policy

more soon. I'm so sorry, have you see my coat?...

dvo4fun 30.08.12 12:57pm
Clegg to demand Para-Elections for 'differently-abled' political parties

. more soon...

Squudge 30.08.12 11:32am
Essex police call off search for unicorn after concluding photo was of a goat

Police in Essex investigating reports of a unicorn being spotted in a field have called off the search and admitted that the photo they had received as evidence was ‘almost certainly a goat’....

Vertically Challenged Giant 30.08.12 11:22am
The All New Jeni B
EDF Mystified by Loss of Gas Supply to Thousands of East London Homes

Just after 11:30pm on Wednesday 29th August, thousands of homes in East London lost gas supply. Supplier, EDF issued the following statement: ‘At approximately 11:30pm on Wednesday evening,...

HenryMJUK 30.08.12 11:06am
Maynard's Midget gems unwise official sponsors of the Paralympic games 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:36am
1000's of Lawyers descend upon London for the Paralegal games 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:33am
Tricky stick shift manoeuvre results in and Cheryl car crash 0
simonjmr 30.08.12 10:23am
Afghans favourite to win Paralympic gold in the headless football. More soon. 6
dominic_mcg 30.08.12 10:03am
Julian Assange To Have Sex-Change Op

In the next few weeks Julian Assange, the well-known albino Aussie nosy parker and gossipmonger, is to undergo a special sex-change operation in the Ecuadorian embassy, leaving himself with both male...

Reg Herring 30.08.12 7:39am
Prince Andrew parks helicopter in disabled spaces at paralympics.

Heard saying 'Well if a hundred disabled people turn up, I'll move it oh bugger' More soon...

MADJEZ 30.08.12 7:15am
Channel 4 apologise for Freudian slip as opening described as 'spactacular'

More soon....

MADJEZ 29.08.12 11:48pm
Nick Clegg "Awaits being new PM" at next election, denies looking for other job

Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg has announced that the challenges associated with directing the UK through the economic recession will not be too difficult when he is annointed as prime minister at the...

antharrison 29.08.12 11:46pm
Philips Idowu injury doubt for Paralympics 0
custard cream 29.08.12 10:37pm
custard cream
Mini voted the only British car of all time

Or at least I think that's what it said

quango 29.08.12 10:36pm
Gary Baldy
Paralympic signer 'hopelessly flat' claims Paralympic singer.

Operatic star Denise Leigh who performed at the Paralympics opening ceremony has lodged a complaint against Deepa Shastri who signed for the singer throughout the musical number, claiming she has...

Boutros 29.08.12 10:21pm
Hawking accused of miming at Paralympic opening ceremony 4
grumblechops 29.08.12 10:13pm
Previously undiscovered cheese unearthed in Cornwall

Archaeologists have unearthed evidence of a hitherto unknown cheese which is being hailed by some as the “most important discovery since Wensleydale”. The cheese is a bizarre hybrid of a...

grumblechops 29.08.12 8:42pm
Paralympic Squad Determined to Equal Team GB in Condom Use

British competitors at the London 2012 Paralympics Games have spoken of their determination to equal the stunning performance of their non-disabled counterparts when it comes to casual sex. 'Over...

Carter 29.08.12 8:23pm
Lib Dems under pressure as NEC forced to make decisions on 'stuff' 0
tedweasel 29.08.12 8:05pm
Outrage as dwarf porn moved to top shelf

More to follow...

apepper 29.08.12 6:36pm
Ann Romney reveals favoured sexual position to gain missionaries' vote 0
Squudge 29.08.12 6:28pm
Virgin warns 'First running west coast main line can 'only improve services''

In a dispute that has now been handed over to the courts, Virgin Trains have said the awarding of the west coast main line to First Great Western opens the real threat of improvements to services. As...

Perks 29.08.12 5:18pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Bond treated for PTSD after “Living Daylights” flashbacks

A spokesman for James Bond has revealed the Secret Service agent has been admitted to a secure hospital after suffering terrifying flashbacks, seemingly triggered by memories of a 1987 mission in...

grumblechops 29.08.12 3:21pm
Assad appeals for patience - “You can’t hurry genocide”

Syrian President Bashar Al Assad yesterday made a TV appeal for patience, as the state military continues to implement his plan of nationwide opinion-cleansing. Heavy shelling has been seen in...

grumblechops 29.08.12 2:49pm
Martin Shuttlecock