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UK Cow Association revokes opposition to US death penalty 0
JaimieX 3 years

A spokescow for the bovine lobby group, UKCA, has announced its members have voted to petition the US supreme court in hopes of expediting the death warrants of all death-row inmates. In a statement...

Selfridges Beats Rivals and Opens for Christmas 2011 3
Matt T 3 years

Leading London shiny things emporium, Selfridges, has opened its Christmas Department extra early this year by only selling gifts for Christmas 2011. West End shoppers are used to the ever earlier...

Wikileaks plagiarism revealed - "we just copied some stuff from newsbiscuit.com" 0
Trini 3 years
Tories to create jobs, clear snow drifts and improve social housing.. 0
VictorMeldrew 3 years

Igloos for all!...

Nick Clegg Announces New Govt Policy 'All Female Staff To Wear Short Skirts' 4
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'Off the back of the Lib Dem Spygate the Govt have learned some important lessons about the fun you can have with power', said a spokesman.'We've been missing out'...

Dartmoor Mammoth captured 1
Bismarck 3 years

The mystery of the Woolly Mammoth seen roaming on Dartmoor was solved this afternoon when a police marksman succeeded in tranquilising the creature with a dart. On closer inspection the animal proved...

Bookmakers slash odds on weather being main news item this weekend 0
Bismarck 3 years
Panic in parliament as Eric Pickles crushed under own weight 1
mtskull 3 years
Wooly mammoth seen on Dartmoor 0
Bismarck 3 years
government dismisses 'New Ice Age' claim as opposition scaremongering 0
Bismarck 3 years
Scientists unveil potential stem cell therapy for male pattern blandness. 0
VictorMeldrew 3 years
Freezing weather' worst seen' since yesterday 0
Bismarck 3 years

more later...

Outrage as last flight of the Harrier fails to be commemorated by Franklin Mint 0
VictorMeldrew 3 years
Australian denies homophobic accusations in song about national bird 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Look mate, its just a fucking kookaburra...

Scottish Transport Minister resigns as the sun comes out in Edinburgh. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Fears that North Korean office party high jinx could trigger nuclear strike 1
roybland 3 years

The US is worried that fun and games at Christmas office parties in North Korea could lead to a nuclear strike on South Korea according to confidential cables appearing on WikiLeaks. 'There is a...

Ex Minister Says Machine Guns should be Decriminalised 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

An ex home office minister said the war on guns is a waste of money and that machine guns should be legalised and made available through coffee shops.'There are plenty of sensible responsible users...

Shopping for landfill: eight more days to go... 2
Doylem 3 years
CPS demand Assange judge adds 12 Labours of Hercules to bail condition. 10
Erlang 3 years

1.Slay the Nemean Lion., 2.Slay the nine-headed Lernaean Hydra., 3.Capture the Golden Hind of Artemis., 4.Capture the Erymanthian Boar., 5.Clean the Augean stables in a single day., 6.Slay the...

Clegg denies desire for Coition Government 0
roybland 3 years
Assanges' new site to deal only with solid evidence: Wikidumps 0
VictorMeldrew 3 years
Men's socks and handkerchiefs must have Christmas gifts retailers say 0
roybland 3 years
Last-minute shopping... 0
Doylem 3 years

Supermarkets are gearing up for the rush, as customers buy last-minute presents and stock up with food for the holidays. “Nobody wants to see two women fighting over the last packet of sage and...

Wikileak Warne sold soul to devil for a spin at bashing the brits 0
wolfie 3 years

Wikileaks reveals that, in a cable sent to Satan, Shane Warne's magic was of the black sort, as he offered his soul for sale. Australia's inexplicable time at the top of world cricket has...

Self-aware Tesco tills take hostages 8
dogwheels 3 years

A set of self-service supermarket tills have apparently become self-aware and have now taken over their entire store. Police said that the tills are now in control of all aspects of the branch of...

Eastenders to be re-named 'Slags and Junkies'. 0
petebrown 3 years
Police Forces Still Discriminating Against Criminals 1
Deimos 3 years

Statistics released today from the Home Office have shown that virtually all UK Police Forces are still showing strong discrimination against criminals. Stuart Mycroft, Equalities Officer with the...

Secret Santa outed on Wikileaks 20
gaijintendo 3 years

A bit like the front paeg story though...

‘No’ to a drugs free-for-all... 0
Doylem 3 years

Under new government proposals Ministers will no longer be required to seek the advice of scientists when making drug classification policy. Charles Caundle, Minister for Misinformation: “I don’t...

Dyson launch the Spunkmaster 900... 0
Doylem 3 years