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Hip-hop fish and chip vendor asks customer, "would you like that rapped?" 0
Smart Alex 21.05.12 7:42pm
Smart Alex
Millions of Brits greet arrival of Olympic flame with complete indifference

As the Olympic torch relay makes its way across the country, millions of people are celebrating the arrival of the flame in their town by going about their life as normal, and maybe grumbling a bit...

Vertically Challenged Giant 21.05.12 6:41pm
Government ministers against making it easier to sack under-performers 0
Mandy Lifeboat 21.05.12 6:10pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Search called off as London mayor latest victim to get lost in IKEA

A national crisis was averted today after Boris Johnson was found alive and well in the Slough branch of IKEA, nine days after he was first reported missing. A shaken Mr. Johnson said: “I only...

Clare Ellen 21.05.12 6:07pm
Clare Ellen
Court rules Geordie man's pet insurance doesna cover his missus 1
Tomfinger 21.05.12 6:04pm
Clare Ellen
Paul Gambaccini 'sick to death' of saying nice things about dead pop singers.

DJ and music enthusiast Paul Gambaccini is refusing to say anything nice about any more dead pop singers, according to his agent. The 63 year old American pop music sage has been wheeled out several...

wallster 21.05.12 5:43pm
Munich to be divided between UK and Russia after Chelsea victory 0
grumblechops 21.05.12 3:23pm
Fruitcake in royal tearoom 0
medici2471 21.05.12 3:01pm
Coalition tensions may cause Cable to snap 0
Not Amused 21.05.12 2:20pm
Not Amused
Police admit when they were told to arrest Crone they took Brooks and not Tom. 0
reforse 21.05.12 1:49pm
Fruit and veg sellers in crisis as tupperware bowl shortage bites. 0
Boutros 21.05.12 1:38pm
Audi announces 2012 A4 model now licenced for driving in all 3 motorway lanes. 0
bonjonelson 21.05.12 1:22pm
Gibb death ends deadly chain reaction of pop tragedies 0
tonylemesma 21.05.12 12:59pm
Olympic Torch route altered to pass through the set of 'Dickinson's Real Deal'

It saves time in the long run...

Ian Searle 21.05.12 11:44am
Ian Searle
Patients able to book GP appointments and get test results within 3 years

Patients in England will be able to book GP appointments and get test results within three years, ministers are promising. Efficiencies are expected as a new sleek, streamlined breed of...

simonjmr 21.05.12 11:11am
Olympic relay runner "has always carried a flame for me" claims ex girlfriend 0
simonjmr 21.05.12 11:07am
Robin Gibb joins his brothers up on high

Genuine sadness here, life is very cruel...

Iamthestig 21.05.12 10:31am
UK Rabies epidemic feared after Theresa May returns from Europe

Onlookers described Ms May as being "Wild eyed and frothing at the mouth" More soon...

simonjmr 21.05.12 9:32am
Jamie Oliver calls for a King Edward Potato to be put in every school 1
Ian Searle 21.05.12 9:00am
God denies putting together heavenly house band

"It's just pure coincindence that Donna Summer, Robin Gibb and the drummer from Crowded House all died within a few days of each other" said a spokesman for the Lord Almighty in Rome today.....

simonjmr 21.05.12 8:59am
Chelsea victory parade now twinned with Olympic Torch Relay 0
seymour totti 21.05.12 8:16am
seymour totti
Bullseye based opera "La Bowen" to be premiered at Glyndbourne this summer 0
Scronnyglonkle 21.05.12 6:51am
Shock as Robin Gibb turns out to be Al-Megrahi 0
charlies_hat 20.05.12 11:05pm
Johnson makes 'Boris haircut' compulsory for all London law-enforcement staff, Sue Akers, head of the Met's inquiries into phone hacking...

Clare Ellen 20.05.12 10:20pm
Clare Ellen
“We want our own global summit too!” says UB40

On the final day of the G8 meeting, Britain's number one reggae band has called for established alphanumeric combinations everywhere to be granted their own international summits. G8 discussions of...

Clare Ellen 20.05.12 9:10pm
John Terry has decided not to call David Cameron as a character witness

Apparently he has said some bad things...

Ian Searle 20.05.12 7:17pm
Ian Searle
"Moving From Scotland" Increased Al Megrahi Longevity Claim Doctors 2
thisisall1word 20.05.12 6:59pm
A Wagonload Of Monkeys
John Terry To Become Professional Trophy Lifter

Nearing the end of his playing career John Terry took the first steps towards the new stage in his life; lifting trophies won by other people. The Chelsea defender has faced criticism that his aging...

Hooch 20.05.12 6:44pm
A Wagonload Of Monkeys
Unemployed encouraged "to not work at home" during Olympics

People out of work are being encouraged not to be unemployed on public transport during the Olympics. "Just as we're encouraging people in work to consider alternatives to travel, we're asking the...

nickb 20.05.12 6:34pm
England to follow Chelsea's winning formula and field team of foreigners. 1
MADJEZ 20.05.12 6:26pm