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"Iran could develop nuclear weapons within 45 minutes" - Cameron 1
bonjonelson 07.03.12 2:46pm
Dumbnews
Mike Ashley to rename Newcastle United to "Sports Direct Union"

Less than a day after a fan was fined £100 for spraying 'St. James' Park' onto the ground of Newcastle United, chairman Mike Ashley has announced that the team itself is to be rebranded 'Sports...

0
WatcherMark 07.03.12 2:00pm
WatcherMark
Diappointment in Homs as Amos not accompanied by Porthos and D'Artagnan 0
cinquecento 07.03.12 1:54pm
cinquecento
Mitt Romney happy to win 6 states, surprised that Vladimir Putin won other 4! 0
Iamthestig 07.03.12 1:17pm
Iamthestig
Green Giant agree to broker the middle-east Peas process 0
Iamthestig 07.03.12 1:11pm
Iamthestig
Happy Days actor charged over multi-billion dollar 'Fonzi scheme'

More soon. http://www.marginallyclever.com/fonzie_scheme/fonzie1.jpg...

0
MADJEZ 07.03.12 1:07pm
MADJEZ
Fears of new drought restrictions as songs from The Little River Band dry up

Global warming is also blamed when Robert Redford announces his next film is to be called 'A Stream Runs Through It'...

0
Ian Searle 07.03.12 1:04pm
Ian Searle
Super Tuesday To Be Replaced With Fabulous Wednesday 0
sredni vashta 07.03.12 12:05pm
sredni vashta
Comedy sketch artist fired for just drawing one-liners

___________...

0
Perks 07.03.12 12:00pm
Perks
Credit card companies in meltdown

The amount of money lost due to fraud and malpractice by credit card companies fell last year by 7% to £341m - its lowest level for 11 years. Mandy Jackson, of the UK Cards Association, said:...

0
medici2471 07.03.12 11:48am
medici2471
Nicolas Sarkozy "France has too many foreigners, just look at Francois Hollande" 0
simonjmr 07.03.12 11:19am
simonjmr
Nicolas Sarkozy says France is too "French" 0
simonjmr 07.03.12 11:17am
simonjmr
Opticians, where ? 0
OldThingy 07.03.12 11:01am
OldThingy
Popular support grows for Vince Cable's plans to "Tax other people"

more later...

1
dvo4fun 07.03.12 10:32am
Perks
Government cut out middleman by paying benefits straight to Sky

More to follow...

1
apepper 07.03.12 10:31am
Perks
Dominos Pizza wins UK Emergency Service contract

Dominos Pizza today has been unveiled as the winner of the tender to provide the Emergency Serivces within the UK. During the tender process it became clear that Dominos out-performed the current...

1
simonjmr 07.03.12 10:27am
Perks
Pampered posh bloke tells sycophantic parasites that he loves his Grandmother

Headline news somehow!...

0
seymour totti 07.03.12 9:38am
seymour totti
Downing Street confirm Cameron is growing "a third arm"

A spokesman for the Prime Minister today officially announced that David Cameron has been growing a third arm from the centre of his chest since early January. The limb is said to be approaching...

1
grumblechops 07.03.12 9:13am
dvo4fun
ITV apologises for inarticulate subtleties.

The prohibition is classed by an automobile bleach reconciliation cistern and technicians oar walking on a quack pollution...

5
Ian Searle 07.03.12 9:06am
Ian Searle
Police are under resourced as officers are trained to cut red tape

The police are being severely hindered in their jobs as their offices have been over run by a stifling number of red tap cutting machines. Many complain that whenever they try to come out from...

0
ronseal 07.03.12 7:21am
ronseal
Driving with eyes shut as dangerous as drink driving - latest research

A scientific paper to be published in "Nature" claims to show that drivers who keep their eyes tightly shut could be putting lives at risk. The paper, published following 18 months of intense...

9
ianrbland 07.03.12 4:12am
Username
LIberal Democrats call for comfier pavements as homelessness rises

The Liberal Democrats have urged the Coalition government to take action on sharply rising homelessness by making the nation’s pavements more comfortable to lie down on. Lib Dem peer Shirley...

5
The Paper Ostrich 07.03.12 4:09am
Username
Supercalifragilisticexpialiwormfood 4
07.03.12 4:06am
Username
Jedis disappointed with new 'low-energy' lightsabers

Jedi knights have expressed anger at plans to phase out traditional lightsabers in favour of new, more environmentally friendly models. ‘These new lightsabers are rubbish,’ complained Jedi...

8
Ludicity 07.03.12 4:03am
Username
Clarkson agrees with Sarkozy, there are to many french people in France 0
Perks 07.03.12 12:15am
Perks
Man in dress says gay marriage is wrong 0
grumblechops 07.03.12 12:09am
grumblechops
UN worried about "alarming amount of annorexic kids" in Africa

Paying off the huge amounts of debts African countries have to western nations, isn't the only problem they have. Health watchdogs have noticed that a large number of kids in African countries are...

3
paddyparkinson 06.03.12 10:35pm
paddyparkinson
Cambridge Council hails success of drive-through brothel ‘Park & Ride’ scheme. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 06.03.12 10:22pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Queen to encourage 'colourful working class characters' to front Diamond Jubilee

The Queen wants colourful working class characters to play a prominent role in celebrating her Diamond Jubilee, say Palace insiders. 'Her Majesty was greatly taken by Barbara Windsor's (no relation)...

0
roybland 06.03.12 7:55pm
roybland
Stelios announces new combined brothel and taxi service, 'Easy Come, Easy Go' 0
Immunis 06.03.12 6:18pm
Immunis