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Man fails to develop superpowers after bite from radioactive Japanese spider 4
dicky37 3 years

A UK tourist was left feeling "cheated" after being bitten by a spider while visiting a zoo close to the beleaguered Fukushima nuclear plant., Pete Wrayford of Bath later complained of not being...

Tesco to sell grandmothers for sixpence 0
beau-jolly 3 years
Bum note 0
FraserWords 3 years

Pippa Middleton's backside is new judge on Britain's Got Talent - more soon...

Royals award Diamond Jubilee to North Korea 0
FraserWords 3 years

BRITAIN’S Royal family has awarded the 2012 Diamond Jubilee to North Korea., Chief negotiator the Duke of Edinburgh revealed the decision to ask the controversial Asian nation to host the...

Pandemic feared as source of E Coli. outbreak traced to Sepp Blatter’s mouth . 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

The deadly E Coli. outbreak cutting a swathe through Central Europe has been traced to the mouth of Sepp Blatter, after the autocratic FIFA president was spotted spouting huge quantities of faeces . ...

India outsources jobs to Glasgow 2
Dick Everyman 3 years

The Indian Ministry of Communication and Information Technology (IMCIT) announced today that it is to outsource two hundred call-centre jobs to Glasgow. Earlier contenders Stoke-on-Trent and Merthyr...

Tipp-Ex to sponsor new correctional facility 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Pastry chef with Bombe strapped to leg stages bake-off in Bank 0
simonjmr 3 years
Security checks completed on new Fifa executives, Dr Ubungme & General M'Bezzla 1
ronseal 3 years
Peter Kaye tribute act conceeds "I'm just a fat northerner remembering things" 0
simonjmr 3 years
Sepp Blatter offered new executive role at Haringay Social Services 0
ronseal 3 years
New Incoterm introduced, UHP (Undelivered Hijacked by Pirates) 0
Iamthestig 3 years
British diet 'unaffected' by caution over e-coli. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Asylum-seeker amnesty hampered by inappropriately small boxes. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Hackers winning cyber war after finding list of believable names 0
3 years

The US Military last night warned of an escalation in attacks by hackers, seeking top secret information from computer systems. A US security expert warned that the attacks are becoming ever-more...

Houlier sacking from Villa on health grounds, too many fans have been in agony 0
simonjmr 3 years
Schedules of european heads of state disrupted after Russia bans EU vegetables. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
"Hitler not guilty of war crimes", says Hague Tribunal 0
greg various 3 years

He's too dead to stand trial...

Nature told to pay its way! 0
virtuallywill 3 years

An influential group have claimed that Nature is worth billions to the UK economy, Newsbiscuit has collected the Newspaper headlines so you don’t have to: The Times: Nature safe thanks to P.M...

Cheryl Cole "Furious" after pig makes it big in America 0
simonjmr 3 years
Terminally ill being asked to write down how they want to die... 13
Ironduke 3 years

'aged 94, drunk, in the arms of the naked Swedish netball team who had taken turns with me as their sexual plaything'...

'We thought we had more influence' complain downed chips. 0
Mr Payne 3 years
100m ticket for sale at £1 - with Stephen Fry as neighbour. 0
Milo Shame 3 years

Yesterday, Clive Robinson, from the East End of London, was delighted to discover that he had won one of the most coveted tickets for the coming Olympic Games, only to find out that the person in the...

Andrew Lansley says he is ready to keep his job 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Woogle raises Chinese hacking suspicions 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Aston Villa to replace Gerald Houllier with a man at an Indian call-centre 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Thousands of workers struck down by 'warm weather bug' 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Reports were coming in today that many thousands of workers have contracted a mysterious 'warm weather bug'. The symptoms are that the weather has suddenly got warmer, and as a result many people...

Scottish government says a ban on fresh fruit & veg is not necessary in Scotland 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
World looks on in awe as “Large Hardon Collider” is finally turned on. - 2 31
Golgo13 3 years

The world's leading pornographologists gather this week in San Fernando Valley, California - centre of the adult entertainment industry - to witness the first use of the "Large Hardon Collider". The...

Early Banksy 'cock and balls' graffiti arouses interest at auction 9
3 years

The art world will closely follow the action at Sotheby's today, as a rare, early Banksy artwork goes under the hammer. The piece, an outline of a large, tumescent male member and accompanying...