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Farage assures floating Labour voters - “We're miles left of Genghis Khan"

oh I dunno....

0
Lenny Bee 11.05.13 11:56am
Lenny Bee
Desmond Tutu votes UKIP

Hot on the heals of their local election triumph, UKIP have received a ringing endorsement from the elder, statesmen of South African politics. Having lost faith with the ANC, Archbishop Desmond...

4
Wrenfoe 11.05.13 11:53am
Wrenfoe
"UKIP objects to Ewok invasion"

More later...

0
Wrenfoe 11.05.13 11:53am
Wrenfoe
Ferguson to lead Man City out at Wembley 0
reforse 11.05.13 11:21am
reforse
man who runs Police drugs incenerator unit "looooves" his job. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.05.13 11:10am
Al OPecia
Barbie to get world's first printed 3D bra. 1
weematt 11.05.13 10:35am
AReader
National Printed Rifle Association claims the right to print arms.

another in the NPRA series...

2
weematt 11.05.13 10:23am
brianflan
Elderly Can't Wait To House Prisoners

Convicted murderers, sex offenders, and terrorists will be used as ‘live in’ companions to help out retirees under a radical new homestay scheme starting next month. Every pensioner with a spare...

14
brianflan 11.05.13 9:31am
brianflan
Revolutionary ear wax transplants reduce divorce rate

Men under the age of 40 are to receive breakthrough ear wax transplant treatment through the NHS in an attempt to reduce the burgeoning UK divorce rate. Recent studies, commissioned by a...

0
QorbeQ 11.05.13 9:31am
QorbeQ
Sunburn lotion now available in blister pack. 0
weematt 11.05.13 8:52am
weematt
Garden Centre News: Patio umbrellas put tables in the shade. 0
weematt 11.05.13 8:47am
weematt
Calls For Ban On Fully-Automatic, Self-Loading Assault Printers. 3
Titus 11.05.13 7:28am
Wrenfoe
Man signs e-petition for something, feels much better

48 year old Colin Taylor of Eastleigh is said to feeling ‘considerably more positive’ about his life, after entering his email address into a small box for an online petition last Tuesday. The...

11
Skylarking 11.05.13 4:22am
Username
Man dies doing something he ‘fucking hated.’

Family and friends of the late Emile Jones have publicly bemoaned the fact that he didn’t have the decency to die while he was doing something he loved or even vaguely enjoyed. At a church service...

3
malgor 10.05.13 9:28pm
ゴルゴ13
Council worker four years from retirement still enjoys job

Outrage met news that Gavin Campbell, a civil servant for Manchester City Council actually liked his job despite being four years away from retirement. The civil servant who does something to do...

0
andrewl81 10.05.13 8:29pm
andrewl81
Old Bailey to be refurbished for clinical trials. 0
Maverick 10.05.13 8:05pm
Maverick
Russian cosmonaut blushes when asked if he can smell ammonia. 0
Maverick 10.05.13 8:00pm
Maverick
Scientists isolate single sud from sink full of washing up water.

In what has been described as a potential Nobel winning breakthrough, scientists at Cambridge University's physics faculty have announced today that they have successfully isolated a single sud from...

0
Maverick 10.05.13 7:57pm
Maverick
Austerity forces Spanish F1 race to be downgraded to 'Prix Ordinaire'

More to follow...

3
brianflan 10.05.13 7:39pm
Maverick
New Al-queda recruits to train on Hopscotch squares 0
victimms 10.05.13 7:14pm
victimms
Mugging witnesses 'batted eyelids' 0
Idiot 10.05.13 7:07pm
Idiot
Stakes raised in elevated fence competition 0
Idiot 10.05.13 7:05pm
Idiot
Fergie to promote 3D printed gum 1
bonjonelson 10.05.13 6:07pm
Titus
Inquest verdict: First 3D gun death caused by misprint, not misadventure. 0
weematt 10.05.13 4:51pm
weematt
National Printed Rifle Association objects to printed gun internet ban. 3
weematt 10.05.13 4:44pm
FlashArry
Product recall for printed guns, which may “jam if the cartridge runs out”... 0
Tripod 10.05.13 4:33pm
Tripod
Absence of Fergie's wrath will lead to global cooling, possibly new ice age

Climatologists across the globe have expressed concern that the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson will result in temperatures being lowered across the planet. The impact of no-hairdrying on match days...

2
antharrison 10.05.13 3:47pm
JoeBradley
“Ed Miliband is always rescuing damsels in distress” - Labour claim

Anonymous sources from deep within the Labour Party have reluctantly confirmed that leader, Ed Miliband, is forever risking life and limb to rescue maidens in distress. Fearless Ed has previously...

5
Lenny Bee 10.05.13 3:04pm
Lenny Bee
3D printer pre-programmed to print 3D printer pre-programmed to print....

3D printer pre-programmed to print 3D printer pre-programmed to print 3D printer etc etc...

1
nickb 10.05.13 2:45pm
Terry
“Two Dannies” TV show cancelled after row about similarity.

Dannies Baker and De Vito have abandoned plans to co-star in a new transatlantic TV comedy show, the Two Dannies, after being accused of “similarity”. Baker, well known for being both...

0
nickb 10.05.13 12:36pm
nickb