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The Queens Christmas message to be replaced with a circular letter

Ones family has had a couple of weddings, William looked regal and Kate was divine, although her sister's arse caused a bit of a stir. Andrew got into a spot of bother. I nearly called on the SAS to...

simonjmr 01.12.11 9:21pm
UK's first women's health centre marks its centenary with mammogram from Queen

[More soon]...

dicky37 30.11.11 9:50pm
Public sector job losses to hit 600,000 by 2016

Public begin to notice in 2061. (Ignites blue touch paper, retires to safe distance)...

John Ffitch-Rucker 29.11.11 8:50pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
'Cheese on Toast' to replace roast dinner on this years Christmas table.

Hard-up consumers have been saving for weeks in order to treat their families to the more traditional Christmas dish of Welsh Rarebit. The move to return to the original Christmas festive-board...

Bryan with a Y 29.11.11 8:01pm
Bryan with a Y
USA to offset it's carbon footprint by exporting more carbonated drinks. 0
Smart Alex 29.11.11 7:56pm
Smart Alex
Chimneysweep criticised for carbon footprint 0
nickb 29.11.11 7:44pm
Man left in shock as website doesn't 'welcome your feedback'

A man from Buckinghamshire has been left in shock today, following a visit to the website of his favourite high street baker’s. The man, Mr Smith, quickly popped onto the Gregg’s website to...

Perks 29.11.11 8:22pm
Foreign Office Junior Minister caught on video "internet sensation". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 29.11.11 6:29pm
Al OPecia
Streets in London cleared as a Jeremy Paxman escapes from the BBC

The police have warned members of the public to be careful after a Jeremy Paxman escaped from the BBC and is roaming wild in the streets of London. It is thought that animal rights protesters broke...

Immunis 29.11.11 6:24pm
Scientists suggest wi-fi laptops damage sperm - users suggest vice verse 2
charlies_hat 29.11.11 9:37pm
We Buy Any makes record low offer on 61-plate Corsa. More soon. 1
GreenCross 29.11.11 7:28pm
Smart Alex
Ferrero Rocher shares surge as Iran protesters storm embassy

Ferrero Rocher, suppliers of chocolate balls to ambassadors world wide, have seen a boost to their share price after Iranian protesters cleaned out the UK embassy of the treats. "We expect many...

apepper 29.11.11 4:51pm
Outrage as no men shortlisted for the final of the great British Bake Off

The BBC have been inundated with complaints after the popular baking contest announce an all-female shortlist. “We have used the same voting system that we always use’ said Sue Perkins,...

Gareth_wilts 29.11.11 4:09pm
Osborne: family planning to be capped

in line with local authorities...

Laughingstock 29.11.11 4:08pm
Highways Agency use soldiers to clear Marmite on M1

after major spillage yeasterday...

Laughingstock 30.11.11 2:44pm
HSE condemn working practices and risk culture in Knotty Ash Jam Butty Mines

The Health and Safety Executive in conjunction with the BBC's Watchdog programme have issued a stark and daming report into the working conditions in the Treacle and Jam Butty Mines of Knotty Ash,...

simonjmr 29.11.11 3:24pm
Wendy "deluged" with celebrity offers to dance on Murdoch's grave

Magnate's wife calls it "the Charlotte Church effect" Charlotte Church famously sang at his wedding, waiving her fee for the honour of helping celebrate the nuptials of the media giant. Now...

nickb 29.11.11 2:51pm
John Major 'looking forward to Iron Lady sequel'

Sir John Major has said he is looking forward to the release of a sequel to ‘The Iron Lady’, the biopic of Margaret Thatcher that hits cinemas next month. Major, who claims to have been prime...

The Paper Ostrich 29.11.11 5:43pm
American Airlines grasp concept of multiplication

Top executives at troubled US carrier American Airlines yesterday finally understood the concept of multiplication, and immediately filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. In a high-level...

GreenCross 30.11.11 8:10am
Sports Personality rapped over no women. Public demand totty at awards show. 1
MADJEZ 29.11.11 10:26pm
Cameron visits Nicooraguararan embassy to clarify British Country’s position

In the wake of the recent ‘Tramgate’ diplomatic crisis sparked by Emma West’s outburst on Croydon Tramlink, the Prime Minister has made an urgent visit to representatives of the insulted...

Newsquelch 30.11.11 3:12pm
BBC to enforce no WAGs policy for MOTD presenters

BBC has today announced that it will cover the opening stages of Euro 2012 from Salford and that a strict "no WAGs" policy will be enforced for the duration of the tournament. "We want the best from...

simonjmr 29.11.11 1:36pm
Surprise as George Osborne encourages 'more unpaid strikes'

Chancellor George Osborne has confounded his critics by suggesting a series of wildcat, 24-hour public sector strikes. In a notable shift from his earlier stance on industrial action, Osborne...

30.11.11 8:33am
John Ffitch-Rucker
1963's BBC Sportsman of the year criticised for giving award to Anita Lonsbrough 0
simonjmr 29.11.11 1:18pm
Growth down, borrowing up - George Osborne you are so 0
Ian Searle 29.11.11 1:12pm
Ian Searle
OECD voted the worst ever tribute band 0
Ian Searle 29.11.11 1:10pm
Ian Searle
George Osborne sings Autumn song

swans next...

virtuallywill 29.11.11 12:51pm
AA files for bankruptcy. RAC doubles fees for new members. 0
Griffin 29.11.11 12:49pm
Hot Russian Spy allowed to stay in country shocker 0
ermintrude 29.11.11 12:37pm
Marmite Spill: Traffic Update

Following the Marmite Spill on the M1, South Yorkshire Police is diverting traffic to the yeast...

Major Clanger 29.11.11 12:29pm