The NewsBiscuit Writers' Room
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Everything on these pages has been submitted by readers of the site and appears here unedited. Potential front page stories as well as one-liners for the ticker bar are welcome, so if you would like to write for NewsBiscuit please post your article on this submission board and then attempt to give yourself maximum votes over and over again. The most prolific and successful contributors will be considered for the coveted title of 'Writer of the Month'.
Check the following links for info: Guidelines for writers, Writer of the Month, Help with posting.
| Topic — Add New » | Comments | Votes | Author | Last Comment |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| NHS appoints Fat Controller as Obesity Tsar | 0 |  |
custard cream | 04.01.13 7:39pm custard cream |
| Gay community votes to admit Anglican Bishops but only if they repent In an historic move the gay community has voted to extend membership to Anglican Bishops as long as they repent of their beliefs and take a vow of promiscuity. The move has caused controversy among... |
1 | |
Matt T | 04.01.13 7:15pm Tripod |
| Promiscuous evangelicals warned about getting "happy clappy" | 0 | |
nickb | 04.01.13 7:06pm nickb |
| Bishopric: A seat of a bishop. Not to be sat on by anyone else. No more recycled definitions soon... |
0 | |
Not Amused | 04.01.13 6:33pm Not Amused |
| UK's first hand transplant welcomed by nation's wankers UK Surgeons who have given a man a pioneering hand transplant have been hailed as heroes by single men up and down the country. The new technology, which allows a donor's hand to be attached in... |
3 | |
Perks | 04.01.13 6:14pm dvo4fun |
| Saudi arms dealer denies contract with Leeds hospital. More soon. | 0 | |
dominic_mcg | 04.01.13 6:14pm dominic_mcg |
| Official: church dislike gay men slightly less than women The Church of England has published it's annual "figures of hate" list and in a surprise change, gay men have moved down the chart to be below women. "Obviously, the bible gives us quite a list of... |
0 | |
apepper | 04.01.13 5:50pm apepper |
| BBC defend scheduling of 'Jim Davidson's Intergenerational Game' | 11 | |
charlies_hat | 04.01.13 5:46pm Idiot |
| Grandad banned from singing "feeling groovy" when he wears corduroy jacket | 0 | |
nickb | 04.01.13 5:31pm nickb |
| Mild mannered reporter’s lack of superpowers leads to woman’s death A local reporter from the Sheffield Telegraph is being blamed for the death of a 23-year-old woman after his lack of superpowers saw him fail to perform an heroic rescue. Paul Jenkins, a rookie... |
11 | |
Vertically Challenged Giant | 04.01.13 4:34pm Midfield Diamond |
| Friends of Leeds infirmary launch second hand shop Coat, door etc... |
2 | |
beau-jolly | 04.01.13 4:21pm sigmund |
| Ulster tipped to enter Celebrity big brother house The Irish province of Ulster is due to reform for a one off appearance in the celebrity big brother house. Ulster consists of the parliamentary counties of Antrim, Armagh, Down, Fermanagh,... |
0 | |
simonjmr | 04.01.13 3:09pm simonjmr |
| Hand transplant complications. "Just finger trouble" says surgeon. | 0 | |
weematt | 04.01.13 2:44pm weematt |
| Football news: Ba? Humbug! | 1 | |
sigmund | 04.01.13 2:00pm Bourbon |
| Argentina rejects British ad demanding return of Isle of Wight Argentinian president Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner has categorically refused to negotiate over the sovereignty of the Isle of Wight, despite the provocative behaviour of Britan's right-wing... |
5 | |
Oxbridge | 04.01.13 12:53pm Oxbridge |
| Depardieu denies that bid for Martian citizenship is just a tax dodge "I have always thought that Mars is a great democracy" said the actor who is also said to be glad that pissing in a bottle on flights to the planet is likely to be standard procedure... |
0 | |
gregle | 04.01.13 11:49am gregle |
| Health Minister slams Leeds General Infirmary after NHS funded hand-job Savile-free version for coeliacs... |
1 | |
dvo4fun | 04.01.13 10:54am Perks |
| Child custody disputes to be settled via national newspaper adverts | 0 | |
charlies_hat | 04.01.13 10:48am charlies_hat |
| Indonesia accused of sexism, no ban on men being straddled by bikes | 0 | |
medici2471 | 04.01.13 10:44am medici2471 |
| Pippa Middleton’s arse "going solo"... After the embarrassing sales of her book, [i]Celebrate[/i] - which recommended turkey “for large family gatherings”, and kitchen cupboards as “useful for keeping things in” - Pippa Middleton... |
0 | |
Tripod | 04.01.13 10:21am Tripod |
| New parasol inventor put's everyone else in the shade | 2 | |
Ian Searle | 04.01.13 10:07am medici2471 |
| Newspaper columnist laments public's inability to spell yoyo correctly Y-O-Y-O-Y | 0 | |
Ian Searle | 04.01.13 9:44am Ian Searle |
| Mr Kipling arrested after raid on office uncovers Pie Dough File Acting on the advice of Jon Gaunt, the police federation (the showbiz wing of the Association of Chief Police officers) have released information that could find Mr Kipling convicted in the court of... |
3 | |
ronseal | 04.01.13 8:30am writinginbsl |
| 2013 Big Brother contestants "wettest since records began" More to follow... |
3 | |
apepper | 04.01.13 8:30am writinginbsl |
| As if Savile wasn't enough, now Leeds General Infirmary pays for hand-job on NHS | 1 | |
dvo4fun | 04.01.13 8:29am writinginbsl |
| Daily Mail leaks results of London Zoo Census - it's full of immigrants!!! All living off the British public and refusing to learn our language!... |
0 | |
Ian Searle | 04.01.13 8:26am Ian Searle |
| Hand surgeon makes basic error "It was on my right, not HIS right"."next time"... |
0 | |
brd888 | 04.01.13 8:22am brd888 |
| Hundreds of women in the UK have had a nose job, only one man has had a hand job | 0 | |
Ian Searle | 04.01.13 6:50am Ian Searle |
| 2013 already poised to go and fuck itself Even before it actually began, the year 2013 has been preparing to accede to the wishes of the vast majority of Britain's 60 million hacked off inhabitants. With nothing remotely good at all likely... |
26 | |
Oxbridge | 04.01.13 6:34am No No Feckin No |
| An appeal poem, on behalf of the biscuit party Since signing up to NewsBiscuit,, I've noticed hostility,, Shown towards some biscuit types,, Like Custard Cream and me. We're not always that funny,, But let's be honest Chums,, It's fucking... |
3 | |
Bourbon | 04.01.13 1:11am ronseal |
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